Run Date: 21st November
Run No #1884
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Northview Gardens Park, Cnr Schapers Road & Royal Boulevard, Glenella.
Hashers: 26
26 intrepid hashers gathered at the park, eagerly anticipating another of Viagra’s gruelling tests of Hashman/womanship. With jogging shoes at maximum revs, the crew awaited Viagra’s detailed instructions, only to have him drowned out by a tumultuous downpour. A collective sigh from the floor meant this may be a non-event, but bravely Golly leapt out into the intense storm, shouting “OnOn”….. a cry taken up by several others. Into the swirling mist they vanished, when, in an intensely religious phenomenon, the clouds parted and the rain eased, allowing more of the gang to depart, leaving behind those poor incompetents who obviously suffer severe allergic reactions to rainwater. On through the streets of Northview we surged, oblivious to the incredulous stares of the locals, and vicious barking of fluffy dogs. The trail was marked in builder’s chalk, which doesn’t wash away with rain, but we still managed to go in 4 different directions, until miraculously coming back on trail with an O.H… so, O.H we went.
Back at the park, we discovered HashPiss was still out in the dark….. with his car keys firmly locked in his pocket. Much derision was hurled his way, until finally, through the mist staggered Knicker, with a satisfied grin, and opened the door to the amber fluid. Viagra produced some store-bought bikkies and dip, and the mob settled in for some bullshit.
Soon, a large apparition appeared, and Flaps called the circle to attention. The apparition, dressed in full Monkal regalia, slowly removed his hood to reveal a Frair Tuck haircut, and proceeded to thank Delicious for making the new Monk Gown, necessary as he couldn’t fit his rather rotund frame into the old one! HashChoir Lassie led the troops in HashPrayer, then The Monk began dispensing downdowns. Viagra first, for daring to set a wet run. Returning/visiting runner Septic tasted a Tun. Virgin runner Jen was invited up to give her life story, and seemed to enjoy her Tun. The monk launched into some jokes, and it soon became apparent that he’d found the ex-Monk’s jokebook, as some were old chestnuts told again. Viagra told a very funny yarn about being single. A charge from Delicious against Zorro, for not having the bar open last Friday, resulted in a Tun o Fun. A further charge from Delicious along the same lines ended with the charge reversed and Delish Tunnin it. A few more jokes thrown in (including one from PeaBeau’s jokebook), and possibly more charges (can’t remember)….. and then The Monk called us to order with a request to sink to our knees, whilst calling Nicole forward. Previously known by the pseudo name of Sweetmeat 2, it was time for the bestowing of a real hashname. Nicole, it seems, has the surname Biddle. As in Biddle’s pub, which mysteriously burnt down many moons ago. It was revealed that Blurry has a mother. What’s more, her maiden name was Biddle. Therefore, with the aid of the family tree, we discovered that Nicole is Blurry’s brother 4 times removed on Uncle Albert’s side, said uncle having married his second cousin on Blurry’s great Grandfather’s side. Get the connection? No, I don’t either. But although Nicoles a PhysEd teacher, she has bar experience and a pub in the background….blah blah blah, her new name is Bar Wench.
After downing her Tun with great delight, Bar Wench went off around the circle to greet her peers. Meanwhile, The Monk called forward Delicious, and announced the committee had decided to bestow the honourary position of Hash Whip on her, for her tireless promoting of the club. With a whip draped around her shoulders, Delicious looked very, very scary. After that I can’t remember any more. The usual announcements were made, the song was sung, the circle was closed.
Viagra produced 2 big pots of chilli sausage stew with fresh bread. Must have gone down a treat, cause there weren’t none left! More bullshit was talked, more beers was drunk, and eventually the mob wandered off into the dark stormy night……
Sorry to ramble on so long….. but I just can’t help it.
Pensioner.
