Run Date: 27th December,2021
Run No : 2149
Hare: Corgi & Daffodil
Venue:  Ooralea Waters Park
Hashers: 9

With the recent festive stuff goin on, members were off holidaying, or too full of tucker to get off the couch, or too full of booze to manage to stand up. Which left a small compliment of 9 souls to turn up to Daffodil & Corgi’s sojourn around the recently completed swamps of Ooralea Waters. The trail was easy to find, cause Daff was with us pointing out the right direction. We wandered through old cane paddocks before venturing into a new estate filled with new houses, and eventually back to the picnic area. Once there we dived into a beer or two, with nibblies and dips, and, as darkness descended, out came 497 million mossies, and 236 million grasshoppers.
Some suggested we forego the usual circle stuff, however, at Corgi’s insistence we gave it a go…. Down down for hare Daff, and 2 for me…. Dunno wot for, something to do with completing the run/walk. There may have been other charges, but I can’t remember. No jokes, no stories, it morphed into a quiet night, until Corgi dived into the Landcruiser and emerged with a big tub of chicken chowmein, which I’m sure they’ll be eating for the next week.
And then, in true Aussie BBQ tradition, we segregated ourselves onto the 2 available tables…. one containing 6 Harriettes, and the other 7 blokes. Well done!
Some more general bullshit, and then someone decided it was time to leave, so, we all did!
Well done to C&D for not only providing the trail n tucker, but for dragging along a trailer containing the esky!
Now then, next week. Well, that’d be at our joint, The Whitehouse On The Hill, 12 Douglas Cres Rural View. See ya there.

Pensioner.

 

Run Date: 20th December,2021
Run No : 2148
Hare: Smut
Venue:  Northview Park, Royal Bvd, Glenella 
Hashers: 17   

Another warm day but there is always a breeze at this park. Smut announced his run using some words that went over the head of some us less educated Hashers but we gathered it was on down the street to follow blue then pink and then yellow arrows and with a piss stop he called out at the last.

Plenty of checks and arrows to follow. Screw was quick to find the on home marks and waved at us from down the street but it was back around to the Emmanuel College and on to the park for a refreshing orange and green ginger concoction. Smut said we would find an obstacle on the way home if we followed trail.  A large branch had broken off onto the pathway. Corgi tried rocking it but to no avail it would not break since she had plenty of practice on the weekend picking up after storms went through on our block. All back, we tried the dips, cheese, salami and biscuits with the cool beers and ciders. Top Knot had dropped off  the esky and ice earlier with his moon boot on. He had some pins removed from his ankles and Wheelie wasn’t attending hash for a while due to Covid19. We didn’t twig then there was no Hash Piss transport tonight but became evident when we went to go home. Mango and Hooker thought they had done all the run but were asking where was the piss stop or was it just a lure. Time for the circle in 5 minutes Smut called. A run report and a down down for Smut. Charges and jokes were up next. Charges were for Smut for being out of practice breaking up the ice to fit into the esky. Tonguer and Septic our returning runner for talking in the circle, Screw for not following trail, Corgi for not clearing the obstacle, Piccolo for not liking the Executive lunch location and Flaps for hurting his dickie knee last week.  Tonguer told his joke just remembering all of it as he went. Next weeks run announced Smut was off to get his Chicken and Pasta pot. We all had plenty and Flaps provided a creamy trifle.

Who was doing Hash Piss for next weeks run came evident. It was us but how to get the esky in the back of the MUX. Smut provided a tape to measure and it was a yes after moving my feed bucket for the cows and the tool box. We unloaded the beers, ciders and ice and repacked them back into the esky once in the car and again when we got home.

On On to the Park @ Ooralea Waters  next week. Directions – Head South from the City Gates, Turn right at the lights at Bakers Creek into Temples Lane, continue through the round a bout then turn left to the Park.

Cheers

Daffodil and Corgi

🎅Hashy  Xmas to all.🤶

🍾🍺🥂🍷

Run Date: 13/12/21
Run No ##2147
Hare: Daffodil
Venue: 17 Jarrah St, Andergrove

Christmas Run Report

 

Upon arrival, we were presented with a severely disabled Flaps. Apparently, a right knee injury was sustained while Flaps was participating in a Covid-safe online backyard calisthenics session. Trouble set in when it came to performing a leotard snapping manoeuvre and it was a toss-up was to which was going to give-out first, Flap’s leotard or his knee – fortunately the leotard is still intact. 

Much jugglery was engaged in as hashers meandered in seeking to secure the best advantage point for the much anticipated arrival of Santa and his little helper later in the evening. 

After multiple attempts and a significant lapse of time, Hare Daffodil was able to muster a reluctant throng in the front garden to issue run instructions. Participants encountered a couple of steep grades in the early part of the assignment which forced Maniki Pussy to dig deep in her role as wheelchair pusher – Knothead attempted to provide some symbolic assistance.

As the run progressed, the laggards and dawdlers gradually peeled off in an effort to locate a shorter route back to the esky.

In an absolute first, Pensioner, brandishing a walking stick, was out in front and led the pack for the bulk of the campaign. The jury is out on why Pensioner bears a walking stick. Some suggest it’s to ward of ferocious K9’s whereas others speculate it could be an unsuccessful attempt to fool the coal miners workers compensation fraud squad.

With all participants safely accounted for in the backyard, a procession a chips and dips was presented before the Monk called the circle to order. Matches and Zorro came under assault during the charge session, Knothead didn’t disappoint again by offering one of his cringe-worthy attempts at comic relief and Chop-stick’s returning runner status was recognised.

Corgi hogged the limelight on a couple instances – once to accept her well-deserved 1,500 run recognition plus receive a rousing rendition of Hashy Birthday.

With the circle closed, nervous anticipation set in awaiting the arrival of Santa and his little helper. It was a lengthy period before the big fella in the red suit arrived, which was unexpected. Although, Santa’s little helper did appear a little dishevelled upon her arrival. Mmmm…..

The GM formulated a system determine the order in which excited little hashers would sit on Santa’s knee and it worked like clockwork (in an LSD induced Clockwork Orange psychosis kind of way).

The most memorable effort of the night was Knicker Licker unwrapping what turned out to be a keenly contested gift voucher. The multi-wrapped gift took that long to unwrap, three of Flap’s highly crafted culinary delights spoiled, but there was no fear, because it took so long, he had time to whip-up replacement dishes.

Following Santa and his little helper’s departure, famished Hashers tucked into a hearty offering red meat, baked potato and salad. Lassie over-achieved on the dessert front, with a waist-popping offering of sweet delights.

 

The evening was declared a resounding success thanks to key members of the Committee, with the bulk of the heavy lifting carried out by catering-extraordinaire, Flap’s  

On On

Smut

   

Run Date: 06/12/21
Run No #2146
Hare: Piccolo Pirata
Venue: 82 Grendon Street North Mackay 
Hashers: 19

19 hashers gathered at the home of Piccolo Pirata for what was supposed be a nice short run and it was.

Envelopes were handed out, the first one was given to Golly, refused it, saying he didn’t have his glasses, so would be unable read the instructions. The next one for Hooker, who politely refused, but then changed her mind and took the envelope. After all the envelopes given out the first envelope was opened by the trailmaster Daffodil so it was on to Hamilton Street where the next envelope was opened from there more envelopes were opened and then some more, after a leisurely stroll around the streets of North Mackay everyone  made it back to the on on. It was extremely difficult for Zorro and Half a Boat as the run didn’t go anywhere near a pub. (they could have gone to the Kooyong but that would have been much longer walk.)

Another amazing fact, Pensioner did the whole run and was one of the first to get back, unfortunately I forgot to give him a down down (shame on me).

Raggedy Ann and Golly brought along two of their grandsons, Aiden and Jacob, who were given their down down for being virgin runners, and clean song was sung by stand in choir master flaps. I don’t think they really knew what was going on. Hash Cash was given a down down for being too flash with a new brief case, I think a new sunshade cap has been ordered to keep the glare of those $100 notes all the hashers seem to have. Jacob told a joke and it was not like normal hash jokes, no rude words. I’m sure he knew some as he is still at school.

The song was sung and the circle close-ed.

Nosh came out, turkey stew and rice, very yummy (the turkey was given to Piccolo) Then nice cold watermelon for dessert.

Teflon texted U-Turn to find out how Tarzan was. He came out of hospital that day and was feeling himself (sorry his old self) looking forward to having him back, soon I hope.

Don’t forget the Christmas run from 17 Jarrah Street, Christmas attire for the night, not necessarily hash gear. Bring a $15 secret Santa present. Cost will be the usual price $10 for non drinkers and $15 for drinkers & Hash Nosh

 

See you next week.

On on flaps.

Run Date: 29/11/2020
Run No #2145
Hare: McFanny’s Wee Hoose 
Venue: 13 Grasstrail Street Andergrove 
Hashers: 25

Once again the intrepid Hashers assembled on a Monday night, with not as much enthusiasm as normal, after last week’s leaking roof  experience and the deluge over the weekend firmly in their minds. But big surprise McFanny’s pocket handkerchief of a back yard was covered with gazebos, good one McFanny. Those who were worried about frizzy hair are eternally grateful.

No surprise that there was no trail to follow so out came the little white envelopes with instructions to find our way around. I did notice that there was some difficulty handing them out because nobody wanted the last one in case it started to rain and they couldn’t bugger off on a short cut, but Mcfanny fixed that by assuming her stern face  and stating “you Vill take it”

Cannot tell U much about the trail because I took a shortcut but I do know that the rain held off and there was a piss stop & there wasn’t any grumpy faces on those that did the whole thing

Anyway everyone returned back safely and got stuck into the hot chips and cold beverages until the Monk got sick of seeing people enjoying themselves and called the circle to tell us about some old buggers who are now dead and did a lot of stupid things with their lives. With that out of the way, we then turned on ourselves starting with the hare for setting a shitty run, Tounger for getting caught opening the instructions before we even started, Flaps for bringing a turkey into the circle, Top notch for wetting the pin number and not being able to read it and the 4 mammary mob for loudly conducting their  own  circle in the corner. It was also noted that some of the mammary mob were particularly taken with the turkey because the spent a lot of time making it scream Gobble Gobble Gobble  over and over again. Sigmund has the answer for this type of behaviour I believe. 

Finally the circle concluded with the Hash song and we all waited for McFannies  delicious meal to be served. And it was, Soup followed with Han, and Chicken and Salad rolls with a good selection of sauces and then topped with a large Carrot cake.

 Then as is traditional in Mackay after a period of time to digest the food and have another drink the Lemmings departed and within a short period it was all over

It was a good night good food good company and it didn’t bloody rain

on  on

Nicka  (for Piccolo)

Ps  it has been suggested that I was home early because I didn’t have to wait for Piccolo to finish eating     ‘Surely not’          

 

 

                                               

 

 

Run Date: 22/11/2020
Run No #2144
Hare: Fork & Screw
Venue: Melaleuca Golf Course 200 Keeleys Road Andergrove
Hashers: 26

Run Report for tonight. Adapted to Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

Oh what a night Late November in 2021

What a very special time for Hashers

As I remember, what a night

Oh, what a night, you know I didn’t even know it was going to rain

But I was never gonna be the same

What a night

Oh, I, I got a funny feelin’ when we walked out of Melaleucas Golf Course

Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon

Oh what a night, the storm started rolling in

Was it going to rain or leave us be

Sweet surrender, what a night I felt a rush like a rollin’ ball of thunder as 25 Hashers huddled under the tin roof while the storm closed in..

Oh, what a night

Oh, I, I got a funny feelin’ when Smut called the circle

Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon

Oh, what a night Why’d it take so long before the Nosh was served

Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right

We had to have the charges, and jokes and congrats to Tounger on having a new granddaughter

Oh what a night Oh I felt a rush like a rollin’ ball of thunder Spinnin’ my head around and takin’ my body under as I braved it to the car with Penny in my arms

Sloshing through the puddles… oh what a night … thank you to Fork & Screw & On On to all and to all a good night?

Teflon

Run Date: 15/11/2020
Run No #2143
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: Shoal Point Park
Hashers: 23

 

From the sands of the Northern Beaches 23 hashers gathered on Monday night. To stroll over the trail of Golly’s and Raggedy Ann’s hashy night.

Were there any naughty perverts? Nowhere I could see. Only saw a Streaker, and a friend of mine she’d be.

An award for the Baagoose, a boogie board, it must be, with a see-through top for the pictured lady.

Under the glow of the red fluoros, some were bitten by carnivorous mosquitoes, while we got into our beers.

On this hashy night, Raggedy Ann’s chilled nosh was served, and down downs given, in the circle just heard.

For this lovely evening, there was no panic or fear, of running into mud or running out of beer. For Golly in his wisdom, had packed an extra esky, for this said reason.

A bloody good hasher I do believe. On On.

Matches.

      

Run Date: 08/11/2020
Run No #2142
Hare: Zorro
Venue: Zorro’s shed,70 Satellite Crescent, Harbour 
Hashers: 19

 

Hash report for Zero run. 

Every one started arriving at Mackay Fencing at the normal time apart from PRICK. Who thought to go early just in case he forgot where to go. Come 6-00pm  we were all19 hashers moved out onto road by Lassie with her new Horn. We were given instructions

On run markings nothing about needing cane knifes to cut our own trail. Off we set

Cross road to boundary fence left along fence this is where we became the WHERE

THE FUCK ARE WE HASH> Allot of I am not  going there F**c  ZERO. Some headed up hill to road most

Just stood there cursing ZERO Daffodil cut his way through with his teeth  and found a mark on

The other side Lassie with her new horn guided the rest through. Rest of run was all up hill to look out

To piss stop TOPNOT & Wheelie also made it Back down hill TOPNOT had to take his double pluggers off

As he was walking out off them.

  Back home we were served crackers and dips Hold ON TAR BOY Missing. Zero always seems to loose

One last time it was BARGOOSE. TARBOY found his way back all ended well.

  Circle called history lesson began which PRICK got top of class uni was not wasted. Down downs  were

Handed out charges and jokes. ZERO Was given one for being a tight ass boss for not given his workers

The required  training where to park UTES Not under Excavators .

Hash nosh was served up BIGGGG SPUDS.and other stuff to go with them A box off what to take when

Not to  take a present was quickly consumed.

WE drank more beer than slowly all wandered home to take the fucking burrs out off our socks.

Good run and another good night.

 

See you at the Shoal point park.

  GOLLY ON_ON.  

Run Date: 01/11/2020
Run No #2141
Hare: Daffodil
Venue: 17 Tropical Ave Andergrove 
Hashers: 28

 

The motley crew of hashers slowly but surely strolled in by 6pm for run. Some looking very dandy with their hats and fascinator’s. Runners/walkers and  others gathered out front for directions from Hare Daffodil. Others stayed to help with prep and beer testing to ensure it was fresh, cold and suitable for the runners when they returned.

Sweeps for the big race were sold, drinks were drunk and bullshit was flowing freely. Circle was called, Smut had memory lapse on historic events, we all suitably happy about that.  Down downs were handed out to:

Daffodil for his shit hot run

Streaker and Teflon for forcing Donny and Penny to wait to take a dump, until they got to venue, Delicious backyard.

Delicious for forcing Distillery to mow the lawn with scissors so as not to be have a beautiful rose garden like Tonto and Lassie. She got another one cant remember. Not sure to many Hash groups get away with charging the GM, MH3 breaks all the rules that aren’t rules.

There were others but can’t remember them. A few jokes were told. None by Knothead surprisingly.

The never ending circle went on and on, the second stage being awards  for the year.

Dummy Spit – Delicious

Shittiest Trail – Half a Boat

Longest run – Screw

Best Nosh  – Fork

Caterer’s Award – Flaps

Johnny Young Talent Award – Blurry

Hash Tart of the Year – Maneki Pussy

Virgin Hare Overachiever Award – Hard Drive,  Rarebutt and crew.

Wettest Run  Award – Streaker

Best Brew Award  – Top Knot and Wheelie

Santa Life time award – Golly

 

Delicious gave a brief Hash Treasury  report. Balance to be handed over to next committee  is $4000 plus.

 The circle was suspended so some vote buying and rigging could be organised, hash nosh was devoured and drinking vessels replenished.

Smut declared all mismanagement positions vacant, nominations and voting took place and the new crew were sworn in, GM – Delicious , On Sec – Fork , Hash Cash  – Flaps,  Monk – Smut, Monkee – Zorro, Hash piss – Wheelie &TopKnot,  Trail Master  – Daffodil,  Hash Horn – Lassie, Choir Master – JCF and Haberdashery – Corgi.

A decent rendition of hash song was sung,  circle closed.

Run Date: 25/10/21
Run No #2140
Hare: Tounger
Venue: 12 Hill End Road Glenella
Hashers: Lots

And what a night! The celebration of the inaugural hash run in Mackay 40 years ago. There were 45 runners with a great turn up of old faces, ex GM’s, lapsed current runners and sundry hangers on. 

A few had drinks before a quiet amble through the back streets of Glenella, along the banks of Janes Creek, past Maggies and on to a piss stop outside Wombat’s place. Then on home to the venue. There was plenty of catching up with some of the originals, and in the circle down downs for the old runners, for the ex GM’s, for the undressed and the overdressed. Tractor gave us a potted history of the club origins. A few jokes then on to the fibs that were tales of days gone by.

Tucker was started with nibbles followed by tacos, followed by Little Boys, followed by hot potatoes then on to the pizzas. They just kept coming! Produced by Mrs. Tonguer there were so many that the home fridges are full of frozen pizza awaiting a mouth. Never before  has food been turned down at a Hash Nosh!!

Then it was a few more beers, a few more lies and then On On home to Mummy. A great night in celebration of the 40 years of Hashing in Mackay!

Next weeks run is the AGPU at Delicious’s place. 

On ON . Prick.