Run Date: 16^th August, 2021
Run No #2129
Hare: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Court Beaconsfield
Hashers – 24

Arriving at Flaps, we all lined our chairs around the fire in a big circle out the back where the coals were burning (heating up apparently) to be placed on the fire just at the right time. Flaps called us out the front where he then gave out ‘Legs 11’ envelopes for the run for the evening for a 4.1 kilometre walk apparently.

Very cleverly marked run – by the time you make it to the 2^nd envelope reading, you’d done over half the course, so some short cutting bastards, were in a dilemma. Some dropped out but most meandered the streets of Andergrove getting a good view of the new Coles at Andergrove which has good reviews! And learning the names of the streets as we went along.

Once back, Esky opened, the fire was ablaze, and nibbles were out along with soup for the weary wanderers.

Circle called, remembering 16^th August for whatever Smut had dug deep back to 1500’s. Hooker noted the Monk had omitted to inform the group of the real reason Michael Angelo was commissioned to create ‘David’, being that it was out there for the world to see; it’s OK to have an average sized penis.

A special down/down touched the hearts of even the toughest Mackay Hashers. A special drink for Rita Zammit (Golly’s Mum’s 100^th birthday). Golly and Raggedy couldn’t be there with her in Victoria as bloody COVID interfered. Anyway, we had a cheers to Golly’s Mum.

Hare Flaps was given several down downs and 1 was for not putting stamps on the envelopes he gave out! After all he was the Post Office best Manager, what was he thinking!

Hashy Birthday down down to me….yes 21 again on Wednesday. Thanks for the male Hashers for providing the entertainment with their jokes.

Flaps then managed to produce a feast of 2 dishes, sweet and sour pork and a very yummy chicken and rice dish, all devoured and appreciated. But wait there’s more, apple pasties, donuts and the ‘all-sorts cake’.

Gradually the numbers started fading as chairs got packed up, goodbyes were said as everyone made their way On Home, thanking Flaps for an awesome effort.

On On

Teflon

Run Date: 9^th August, 2021
Run No #2128
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: 4 Evans Ave,Nth Mackay
Hashers – 26

Hi Hashers. Mondays run from Tarboys place of residence was a party affair, it being Tarboys seventyturd (sorry seventythird) birthday. A crowd of 26 turned out to help celebrate the occasion.

The mob was called to order (it turned out to be disorder) no-one taking any notice of the hare as he tried to explain the run. Different coloured arrows, which everyone thought meant different things like a check or an onback, but no Tarboy was just using up the left over chalk. It was then out to the front to find out which direction to take, then it was off down Evans ave to Grendon steet down Palmer, Tarboy had to let Mariki Pussy know there would be a fence involved on the run, so had to take her and Wheelie on a separate run. It was then on to the piss stop a concoction of left over wine and fruit in what could be called a Spanish sangria. The FRB flaps was sprinting on home past the Kooyong hotel, when a voice called out FLAPS come on inside, it turned out to be JCF, Zorro and Half a Boat, enjoying the hospitality of the said hotel. Everyone eventually made it back safely to enjoy a cold beer on a cold night.

It then changed, with the Monkee calling for a circle in five minutes, when the Monk said the nosh was going to be served first (a first) U-turns sister turned up with a boot load of pizzas, which everyone then quickly got into. Then out came the spag bol, very delicious.

Finally a circle was formed with the hare getting his just desserts (the cake came later), charges were laid, and down downs given. I think Blurry is getting a bit forgetful telling a joke he told only two runs earlier, at least he didn’t forget how to have a down down. Cake came out with candles on it, no room for 73 candles, u-turn had a bit of trouble getting the candles to light, but eventually did, and hashy birthday was sung to Tarboy with great gusto. The song was sung and the circle was then close-ed.

The fire was lit and marshmallows toasted. In the end a great night was had by all.

A reminder about our celebration run on the 15^th of September, reminding everyone to get their nominations in ASAP.

On on to next week at 17 Jarrah Street Beaconsfield.

Flaps

Run Date: 2^nd August, 2021
Run No #2127
Hare: Blurry
Venue: Sugar Bowl Skate Park, Norris Rd, Nth Mackay
Hashers – 24

Here is the run report for Mon 2 Aug 2021. A gallant band of 24 turned up at a new venue.(Slightly controversial) Off to a slow canter towards the roundabout  Where  there  were multiple checks. Lost a few on the way & a few short cutters. All arrived at the piss stop eventually. On home from here quite uneventfully. Then a  group decision Was made by way of a democratic vote to stay or go to another venue. Eyes were upon  us as it was a public place .The circle was then conveniened in an inconspicuous space with no raucous singing of hash songs. A few down  downs followed by some  very tame jokes none of which require retelling. Nosh was basic fare of sausages with bread(unbuttered) & sauce. Pineapple for dessert as a bonus. ON home then .See you at the Tarboys place next week, Birthday spectacular is promised. All gifts, Down downs greatly appreciated.

See you there TARBOY.

Our medal winners were our diving/swimming champion Flaps, and best supporters were Delicious & Distillery. What a champion team we are.

Run Date: 26 th July, 2021
Run No #2126
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Muller Park, Planlands
Hashers – 19

19 Rugged up beautiful people turned up at the dog/train park on Monday night to take on the Corgy/Daffodil trail.

Instructions were given to the raucous crowd, and off we went. Through the back blocks of Oralee we walked, with Lassie (a late bloomer by the looks of it, as years ago she would rarely hit the trail, what’s more, be striding out in front) disparaging into the distance, with the rest of us unable to keep up.

We went through streets that I did not know even existed, and at some stage we can’t have been far from Sarina and Walkerston……(editorial B.S.)

Anyhow we eventually made it back to the esky via a very well marked trail.

Everyone rugged up to keep out the sneaky cold wind, while nibbling on crackers and yummie dips.

The circle was called to order and the usual down downs to the hare along with various charges were administered with songs by the stand in (retired) song master, Tar Boy. While on the topic of Tar Boy, the young fella turned up in shorts and a T shirt, with no warm gear. Would say that he was feeling numb by the end of the night.

Corgy and Daf whipped a tasty chicken curry brew from the back of their car, along with a big bowl of rice. The pack hoed in to the nosh, and within no time the tucker was gone.

? Pussie (hash piss) who advised earlier that she was no longer committed to the boyfriend, and was now a free agent, decided it was time to pack up the esky and Wheelie and get back to Tinder, and so called last drinks. 

By then, our bellies were full of tucker and beer/sider, and we all waddled off to our various roosts.

A good night out, so thanks to the Corgy/Daffodil team.

Next weeks run is from the Sugar Bowl Skate park, down the road to the PCYC.

See you all there, Bluuuurrrrr.

Social Weekend 23 – 25th July 2021 
Golfers

Friday night with Keith Dunn – great night

Saturday’s frivolities 

The Gorgeous Golfers

Run Date: 19th July, 2021
Run No #2125
Hare: Top Knot & Wheelie 
Venue: Beachway Boulevard Park Shoal Point
Hashers: 18   

Another cool clear night but extra icy down near the water. As we were driving in we noticed a lady and children with fishing rods and Screw said she told him a barramundi was caught in the lake. Screw said it wouldn’t be good eating due it was limited with what feed it was getting. To our surprise Fill de Jaw was Wheelie’s escort on the run while Top Knot was organising the piss stop and food for the night. Pensioner commented to Fill that she needed to have another baby for she wasn’t carrying any extra weight. A new hair cut, trim and fit again. Fill waited for any late comers so we were off following the large arrows similar to his last trail. On in to Top Knot’s & Wheelie’s place for a drink stop of a cherry flavour which half a cup equalled two drinks Top Knot warned us. A water bowl and dog bite snacks for the small pack of dogs was on offer. We all headed back to the lake to put extra layers on before the circle was called. Vegetarian chips were a treat before Smut made us put our thinking caps on to remember on this day. Jokes and charges were called for. Blurry was asked by BloJo to charge Top Knot for writing the run report and saying it was Blurry’s Run and not hers. Lassie was quick to say she had to be here to charge a fellow Hasher. After some bantering on the subject both Blurry and Top Knot had down downs. Wheelie told his joke via Fill and maybe another joke was told.  Streaker tried to charge Top Knot for his alcoholic drink stop making it harder to resist more drinks before the drive home. Fork charged Teflon for talking in the circle. Fill de Jaw had a returning runner drink and Tarzan charged Delicious for sending the Hash Magazine out which was many pages long. Its a good read. Song sung, Top Knot & Golly brought out the Hash Nosh of home made pasta and Bolognese. The air got cooler but Golly & Tarzan didn’t put a coat on. Another great night out under the stars and half moon.

 On On

Corgi & Daffodil

Run Date: 12/07/21
Run No 2124
Hare: Blurry (should have read Blo Jo) 
Venue: Corner Peel & Alfred Streets, Mackay
Hashers: 27

A decent crowd of 27 hashers and a small pack of dogs gathered together at the home of Blurry and Blo Jo for a venture around the streets of Mackay. A run set with lines marked in the street “on the left side, if not on the right” directed by Blo Jo.

After venturing forth through the seemingly flattest run in history, a piss stop accompanied by popcorn was a treat missed by none. Some turned back, others enticed by the directions to “keep your cup” to be spoiled further with a tantalising concocture. Instructions clear enough one would think.. *cough cough* Bargoose.. Like spinach to popeye, the beverages to the hashers – was all that was needed to boost the energy for an on back to Blurry and Blo Jo’s.

NIbbles and drinks all round as Blurry began to fuel the fire.. just as Hard Drive was bent over adjusting his chair with his rear a little too close to the heavy aroma of petrol, Blurry thought a good flick of the lighter would be just the thing to light up his Hard Drive’s firewall.

A circle was called on and led by Flaps with a few good decent charges thrown about… Bargoose for his litterbug ways. Followed by Tarzan for keeping his jungle clean and healthy by picking up a stray cup found along the trail. Onya Tarboy! Some great stories and jokes told before Blo Jo awarded a good looking stick to the fire warden Corgi as Corgi had forgotten to bring her own for the fire, one would think the hospitality couldn’t have gotten any greater..

But then came along the food, silverside and coleslaw bread rolls with a detailed 101 of how to make a bread roll was given by Blurry. Not long after, the hashers were treated to cupcakes and custards to top things off!

With full bellies and bladders, hashers started to head home. A fantastic night had by all.

See you next week at the run at the park on Beachway Boulevard in Shoal Point!

On on

Topknot

Thanks

Awarded for the 3rd time, get your act together Prick!

Run Date 05/07/21
Run No 2123
Hare: Smut
Venue: 57 Bradman Drive, Glenella
Hashers: 17

Ah……17, I remember it well, just got my license and the world was my oyster.

Anyhow, that was the number of ageing Hash House Harriers gathered at Smuts abode to head into the bowels of Glenella for the Monday hash walk.

Off we set, after a briefing by the Hare, to discover parts of Glenella previously unknown. Smut’s trail marker worked a treat, and the trail was easy enough to follow if you had your mind on the job. I don’t know how Smut found it, or where it was, but there was a bloody steep hill involved in the trail that made us all aware of how unfit we had become over our ageing years.

By the end of the trail, the numbers had dwindled to 4 or so, with walkers taking their own way home towards the end of the trail.

Nibbles were provided to replenish our lost energy on arrival back to the esky, and the ritual of draining the esky commenced with gusto.

The circle was called by the Monk as we all huddled around the greatly appreciated fire. First up the Monk gave himself (the Hare) a down down to the song of Shitty Trail, then charges were called. Bloody Mango decided that it would be a good idea to give the five impeccably dressed hashers, who were standing together in their regulation Hash jackets……well, Pensioner disagreed with the validation of said charge, and tried to reverse it, but to no avail, and the five had a down down. Pensh also received another DD for wearing his hat in the circle. A drink was bestowed upon a returning and visiting runner and his mate from Victoria whose name I can’t remember (something like Rectum Wrecker??? or Swollen Colon), who then proceeded to find a winner for one of his highly sought after ironing board covers and peg bag.

Mango won the cover, and Bargoose won the peg bag.

After that, the Pizzas were presented on the table and we all pigged out until they were all consumed. It was then that the pack noticed the esky was starting to run dry, and slowly started drifting off home.

Minnie made sure Smut would remember the occasion by leaving a small nugget in the yard.

Hoo Roo till next week, and see you at Blurries abode for Blo Jo’s run. Bring a chair.

ON ON,

Blurrrrrrrry.

Run Date: 28.06.2021
Run No: 2122
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hashers: 16

Please find my rushed and poorly cobbled together offering below: Run Report Sixteen cold, tucked-up individuals were met with miserable and blustery conditions on the top of the Douglas Crescent hill. There was a surprise appearance from Knicker Licker who has recently undergone surgery for a bionic knee and was eager to illustrate his athleticism later by standing up in the circle – with those obvious powers of healing, is no surprise that he’s taken to death-defying stunts later in life – what a legend!! Pensioner gathered the highly expectant participants in the driveway of Pensioner’s & Mango’s palatial palace for pre-run directions. Some sneering murmurs suggested that marks were likely to be few and far between based on Pensioner’s previous efforts – turns out, they were right. Most were unaware of the great 2021 chalk drought. However, surprisingly, there was a false trail, and everyone fell for it (without exception), although Bargoose’s tardiness in arriving late turned out to be strategic master-stroke, and he went from a long way last to handsomely first upon the call of “on-back”. Some front runners made their own trail (or as it appeared) in the absence of any marks and the rest followed mindlessly. Turns out, they were on the money, with the discovery of one of the very few marks on the way home – so it all worked out well, as by the time the front runners had returned, the fire pit was blazing and Mango had lashings of simmering hot pastries to bring up the core temperature. Upon formation of the circle, following a brief trip down memory lane, Pensioners “economically” marked trail was raised with a level of bravado, and in true Pensioner style, shrugged his shoulders and told everyone to build a bridge. There were a few fines, mainly Pensioner, even fewer jokes – Reece was given a down-down as a returning runner and the circle was closed in the usual manner before tucking into a raft of culinary delights expertly prepared by Mango. The evening was finished off with a Tim Tam and a beer or cider chaser before the crowd dispersed to slip into their flannelette pyjamas.
On On Smut

Run Date 21/6/21    
Run No 2121
Hare: Golly and Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Crt, Shoal Point
Hashers: 21

21 peeps turned up at the beachside abode of Golly and Raggedy Ann to enjoy the Winter Solstice (actually a day early, but who cares?)

Golly ushered us out to the front, and tried to explain the marks were arrows on the right hand side of the road, whilst pointing to an arrow on the left. Off the tribe marched, and soon realized this trail consisted of multiple checks, which confused the mob somewhat. Eventually though, after a trip down to the beach and a pisstop in the dark, the mob began to dribble back to the start, where Raggedy produced some nibblies, including party quiches and sausage rolls. The fire was lit as the beers were tasted, and the banter about nuthin was dribbled, until The Monk bellowed out something about a circle.

Some modern day history was offered including the little known fact that John Lee Hooker died on this day

in 2001, aged 83. Who? I hear you ask? Look him up on YouTube, one of The Blues greats.

In the absence of any stories, Blurry decided to tell a joke.  Which left everyone puzzled. Flavio and Giovanni made another appearance, then it was time for some charges, most of which I forget, although Matches was awarded The Dildo, which seemed to amuse her.  Zorro’s brother received a down down for being Zorro’s brother, along with returning hasher, whose name escapes me.

Returning from Airlie Beach that morning, TopKnot picked up a hitch hiker, who TopKnot decided would make a good pet, so took him home. Then brought him to Hash. Said hitch hiker was a Frenchman named Francois. (of course), who was awarded a down down for being there. And no, he had absolutely no idea what was happening. (Sacre Bleu, you Aussies)

Circle over, it was time for nosh…. Pumpkin soup with bread, and savoury mince with more bread, settled the stomachs of the mob, along with more sips of favourite drinkies, until we all wandered off into the sunset….. sunset? No, it was very dark.

Another fine night was had by all.

See ya next week at the house on the hill. Did I say hill?

Pensioner.