Date – 15th December 2025
Run – 2359
Hare – Smut 
Venue – 20 Royal Blvd in Glenella
Hashers: 20ish

Last week’s run report mentioned Smut and the Smut house in Glenella. Wrong!

It was a joint effort from Harbour and Mrs Appeel at Camilleri Park.

This week, however, it was indeed held at Smut’s den of inequity at 20 Royal Blvd in Glenella.

About 18 or so Hashers rocked up, and eagerly awaited instruction form the hare. Before that however, there was a near mutiny because Termite wanted to lock the Piss-car, whilst other SCBs demanded it remain unlocked. Fearing significant injury, Termite decided it was safer to leave the doors ajar.

Sorted… the hare pointed out blue arrows, a portable piss-stop in the backpack slung nonchalantly over a shoulder, and a dire warning about some kamikaze magpies awaiting their next victim.

So… off we trotted around the Royal neighbourhood, where we enviously observed many fine houses of the large variety, some with new caravans, and several with flash boats, and many householders watering their lawns as a lowly herd of old timers shuffled past.

Eventually, we found Glenella school, where the hare decided to offload his piss-pack burden. It was also here that the kamikaze maggies where observed sitting on the powerlines, just waiting for their victims. Maybe we looked sufficiently battered at this stage, as they didn’t swoop at all, but merely watched and giggled. Refreshments served, it was time to return to the House of Smut. Bikkies n beer in hand, the general stuff was bantered about, until the circle was called, and the Monk gave himself a down down for also being hare. There was a returning runner down down for Mango, and a welcome sip for visitor Matt. A few paltry jokes were told, and a couple of true stories, but since I didn’t know at that stage that I would be conned into writing this report, I didn’t bother to take any notice. Oops. Nearly forgot the Monk’s diatribe on Christmas History, or some such shit.

Circle shut, it time to gobble down curried snags, chicken risotto, and doul, whatever that is. Add bread, beer and bullshit, and there you have it… instant hash nosh!

The chit-chat continued on as usual, then it was time to pack up our toys, and head for home, leaving Smut to clean up his mess.

Next week it’s the Christmas Party at the home of Tarzan and U Turn.

OnOn Pensch

Date: 08/12/25
Run #2358
Venue: Camilleri Park  – 89-97 Camilleri St, Dolphin Heads
Hare: Mrs Apeel
Hashers 18

18 enthusiastic hashers descended upon Camilleri Park for a spirited bout of fellowship before the hare (Mrs Appeal) gathered a solid cohort of rogainers together to issue run instructions.

Despite a check at the start, the lead pack correctly headed seaward, encountering a pleasant forest trail before descending down a significant set of stairs where the hare was eagerly awaiting with a tasty piss-stop.

Pleasant beachscape scenery was taken in while sampling the liquid offering before continuing on the trail. Soon after, a check was encountered. One arrow pointed towards home, but despite losing trail, the bulk of the runners, led by hi-viz clad Zorro, elected to abandon any effort to find trail and headed home via the shortest possible route.

Corgi, Daffodil and the author chose to respect Mrs Appeal and Harbour’s efforts and follow all the arrows and complete the nearly 3km trail.

The circle was formed and the hare was charged twice – one on behalf of Harbour in absentia. A sluggish charge session was followed by an even more sluggish joke session. The gathering was reminded of the up-cuming Hashy Christmas run to be hosted by U-Turn and Tarzan on 22 December.

Tarzan then invoked the new system for selecting Executive Lunch venues, with Fusion being the lucky recipient.

With the club song sung and circle closed, the gathering tucked into a generous helping of cold corn beef and salad followed by a very tasty homemade slice.

See you this cuming Monday at 20 Royal Boulevard, Glenella.

On On

Smut

Date – 1 December, 2025
Run – 2357
Hare – Snot and Insex
Venue – 20 Tern Street, Slade Point
Hashers: 20-22

A few (approx. 20) runners turned up at Snot and Insex’s place, way out at Slade Point, to engage in another enthralling evening of walking and talking and feasting. The motley crew set off following a trail of big bird droppings around the streets of Sladie evading the erratic parking of Zorro’s truck. 

On return to the home abode Insex produced some little boys that were quickly gobbled up by the awaiting flock of Hashers. Circle was formed and the monk apologised for not having any fun facts to share. Charges were laid, Zorro for that amazing job of parking his truck, Pensch for becoming a grandad again and some other charges quickly forgotten. Jokes and stories told, lunch decided upon and then off to get the feedbags on. Gobs stuffed and the crowd quietened down.

Later on the sounds of On, On echoed through the town as some well fed Hashers headed of to the wilds of Mackay and surrounds.

See you all at Camilleri Park next week.  On-on, Mrs Apeel

Date – 24 November, 2025
Run – 2356
Hare – Shocker
Venue – 4/23 Sunset Blvd, Erakala
Hashers: 20

Run report, for run 2356…it was held at Shockers Abode, a western escarpment at Sunset Rise

At a guess I’d say we all assembled at Sunset Park. Anyway around 20 increasingly decrepit souls, some of whom shuddered at the thought of the hilly terrain. Me I was so terrified I headed back to my car and was joined by 5 others assembled at 4\23 Sunset Blvd awaiting Termite’s appearance with the piss.

I have it on good authority (Daffodil) that the trail went up and down, up and down hills and across allegedly snake infested lawns.(Auto sprinklers on lawns set for around 6.15) Designed to keep walkers off their grass.

No one was injured, no one died, all were accounted for at the end of the day..good run.

Meanwhile back at the venue Termite had arrived along with his box of goodies, Shocker dispensed the mandatory nibbles, a voice called ON YER FEET YOU BASTARDS AND CIRCLE UP. The monk had spoken.

A sermon was preached but alas I am none the wiser for this well researched topic as I may have been in deep conversation with Juice about caravanning. All of a sudden, reality hit, HARE front and centre! then democratically votes were taken regarding the run. None of which has anything to do with anything as the Hare always gets a down down regardless of the vote. 

Fines: Returning runners Snot, Zorro. What a top drink! Zorro and I discussed fining each other until it was all gone.

Maple syrup for changing the masthead with new after office bearers names.

There were others but I went back to caravanning with Juice.

Maple told a joke. With the Monk being hungry the circle sang the Mackay song and circle was cloze-ed.

Out came a delicious Chicken Moroccan and rice dish which when finished I found I was tired so I went home to the sick Insex.

On on

Snot

Date – 17 November, 2025
Run – 2355
Hare – Piccolo
Venue – 82 Grendon St North Mackay
Hashers: + or – 18

About 18, or 20 or 16 Hashers rolled up to the abode of Piccolo in deepest dark North Mackee, to find her proudly showing off her brand new front staircase. Very nice, but how about one for the rear? Upon wandering down the drive we discovered that a rustheap, previously identified as a Jeep, had been moved to allow yet another seething pile of metal, previously identified as a Camaro, to slip in uninvited, even though it was hidden under several tarps, previously identified as carpet. We was still peeking under said carpet, when the host Piccolo Pirata, called us to the roadside and announced she was a live hare. Setting off at an incredibly fast dawdle the mob toured the surrounding area before ending back at the start, where beer n nibbles awaited.

General bullshit was flung about with a giggle here n there, until the Monk, returning from being absent called the mob to attention for the circle. Unfortunately reverting to previous form he proceeded to bore us with an incredibly long and rambling diatribe on the wonders of…… sorry, brain switched off. Moving right along it was a call for charges that produced a sea of blank faces, until Golly threw a charge at Zorro, for being Zorro. Golly then received a payback down down for his incredible attempt at reversing the Hash Piss car. The hare received her just deserts, also some returning strollers, whom I can’t recall, followed by a call for jokes which produced another sea of blank faces. Eventually some old clangers were re-hashed. The song was sung and we sat down among much groaning from the ageing horde. Piccolo disappeared, and returned with a big pot of chicken soup/stew/stuff and lotsa bread. Better note here that Knicker was banned from pot carrying duty. The mob began slurping and burping.

Much more yackety yack, and the mob slowly dispersed into the night, leaving Piccolo to clean up.
Another successful Hash night. 

Next week it’s Shocker’s turn. He would have written this report if he’d turned up, so it got left to me to scribe whatever I could remember.

OnOn Pensioner.

Run Date: 10^th November 
Run No: 2354
Hare: Daffodil 
Venue: Quota Park, Far Beach 
Hashers: 13

A few lost Hashers turned out for a magical evening close to the beach for run 2354. After Hash Cash handed out winnings to some lucky bastards it was on around the streets of East Mackay in the ever-lengthening light of Spring twilight only to return to Quota Park.

A small circle was formed and charges laid. Very few jokes were told and then Tarzan persisted with trying to form a Hash Choir to sing a new song. Circle closed after decision made to go to Hog’s Breath for monthly dinner on 29/11/25.

Some possums joined us for an amazing feed of chicken curry followed by yummy choc bickies. Hash Cash will hold onto winning sweeps monies for those Hashers that weren’t there until they turn up or their proxy asks for it.

Next run at Piccolo’s place. On On, Mrs Apeel.

Date – 3 November, 2025 
Run – 2353
Hare – Raggedy Ann and Golly
Venue – 3 Trochus Ct, Shoal Point
Hashers: 13

13 keen Hashers rolled up at Golly and Raggedy’s abode, ready for a walk around Shoal Point. Numbers were down with the increasing number of traveling Mackay Hashers away at this time. Golly called us to the front of the house to give run instructions but were interrupted by Prick and Tarzan who continued in their private discussion, even after Daffodil sounded the horn several times, so Golly continued under his instructions. Along the road, through a walkway and onto the beach for a few hundred meters with our heads down into the strong wind, to steps which led us off the beach. We continued around Shoal Point with the near full moon and the lightning show towards the south, onto The Playground where Golly was waiting with a Piss Stop which was enjoyed by all and on home.

Nibbles were brought out and the stand in Monk, Tarzan called the circle to attention. The monk took his Down Down for a shit hot run, Charges: Prick and Tarzan for not listening to the hare, jokes were recycled and told by Tonguer, Pensioner. Tarzan, accompanied by Maple Syrup and Mrs. Appeal gave a gut busting rendition of Giovanni Masta Barni which bought the house down. 

 Hash Nosh was bought out, going healthy tonight, ham, chicken and salad, followed by chocolates. Another beer and it was On Home from the Northern Beaches to South of the Pioneer for Daffodil and Corgi. Another good night was had by all. On the way home at the Rural View roundabout, we encountered a fire truck with flashing lights, heading towards Bucasia / Shoal Point direction, didn’t see any fires. After the Golf Club turn off, we came across more flashing lights, this time it was the police directing traffic around a tilt tray truck , recovering a car from down the bank. Just past the first tilt tray there were two more tilt tray trucks on the side of the road, don’t know how many cars were over the bank. After going through Bunnings roundabout, more flashing lights, an ambulance this time. enough excitement for the night, we were glad to get home.

OnOn Daffodil and Corgi.

Next Week’s Run, Quota Park, Binnington Esplanade, East Mackay, Next to Ocean International Hotel.

Date – 27 October, 2025
Run – 2352
Hare – McFanny
Venue – 7 Devira Ct, Harbour
Hashers:  20 ish

We all started arriving at McFanny New Weee House where we
were greeted with Christmas lights,  “smile you’re on camera”. 

While we were trying to work out how to get to back yard either through house or jumping
fence the side door opened and there stood the Hare and guard dog.
 We followed her down the path witch seemed to go ON & ON & ON till
we came out the other side.  When the rest of the cult arrived we were taken
back down path to start. Hare addressed us
There is only One F–_ing road Out.
There is only One F—ing road In
It is marked in F—ing chalk.
And it goes that F—ing way.

On down the road towards surf club, on to round about where we sort of
lost our way.   Wandering around looking for marks till our lolly pop person
PRICK pointed us the way on.
Arriving back we were greeted with crackers &  home made dips which i must
say were yummy.

Circled called by stand in monk, choir masterTar Boy.   Charges Jokes And song.
Hash grub was up and what a spread was waiting for us around the island bench…
you guessed it, one way in-one way out.
McFanny was not finished yet.  On came the fire works!  Flares and smoke lit up the
sky and to top it off the Hare arranged mobile red & blue flashing lights.  well done
Hare!

We sat around drinking till the 5 variety Tim Tams came out.  Another 5 Star effort.

Good night had by all and it was great to see you still have it McFanny.
See you at GOLLY and RAGGEDY ANN’s run.

 GOLLY

 Date – 20 October, 2025
Run – 2351
Hare – Matches
Venue – 2 Glenwood Park, Andergrove
Hashers: 22

Was it hard to find?  Certainly I was lost but Golly found his way and so did 17 other Hashers, mostly on Google maps or because they’ve lived here all/most of their lives.

22 runners made it to the seclusion of Glenwood Park; beautiful property (oodles of storage), amazing home (guided tour), and undercover area (massive) I’m jealous of.  What a gorgeous venue to host run 2351.  

The run – up hill and down, around the neighbourhood with glimpses of Harbour and Slade Point, piss stop at McCready’s Creek boat ramp, return – was voted ‘shit hot’ by all.  The usual routine was dispensed with after Ocean facts, charges, jokes and updates.  A very shitty song was sung by Choir Master and choir support to wrap things up.

Nosh was all delicious including Matches’ pre-circle dips, corned beef spread and choc-topped ice-creams.

Another great night of Hash.  Thank-you Matches and Zorro.