Run Date: 12/4/21
Run No: 2111
Hare: Shocker
Venue: Park at Jardine St, Settlers Rise
No of Hashers  – 26

Those who know me well know I’m not know for my amazing memory, so forgive me if I miss out important stuff or people in the following report.

But here goes: 26 valiant runners met at a nice little park at the Northern end of Jardine Street, Settlers Rise to be greeted by hosts Sweetmeats, Shocker & our youngest Hash member Landon.

It became apparent there were a noisy lot of ‘non-walking/running Hashers’ partying out of sight, led by JCF,  Zorro and a group of Merry Men. There’s some that may label this lot as ‘lazy bastards’ with no intention of participating in ANY physical  activity? But hey its Hash – we take all kinds, and that what’s makes us ‘SPECIAL’!

Can’t tell you what the run or the markings were like, because after setting off (Landon, Sweetmeat & pram in tow). meandered through the park & along some roads yours truly, became a short-cutting bastard and headed back.

 All I can say is the run didn’t seem to rate well, as the Hare got the old ‘Shitty Trail’ rendition for his efforts.

Circle called, our knowledgeable Monk gave us our weekly trivia quiz; some smart arses exceled, while the rest of us looked vague, trying not to make eye contact.

There were a few attempts at stories(Tarzan & Lima experience)/jokes & lots of charges, of which I can only remember the following

–          New runner (sorry I missed the name but can tell you he’s a friend of Shockers)

–          Hard Drive for wearing new shoes – poor bugger & they really were so flashy. He seemed to enjoy drinking out of one of them

–          Wheelie &  Fork Hashy Birthdays – Thanks for sharing your yummy cake Wheelie

–          Half a Boat for losing his boat

That’s it. My memory’s failed me, sorry for those I’ve missed out.

The night was rounded off with delicious Spaghetti Bolognaise  

Hopefully see yawl at  my place next week

On On
Hooker

Run Date: 29/03/21
Run No: 2110
Hare: Pensioner &Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Cres, Rural View
No of Hashers  – 19

19 eager bunnies turned up at Harley Heaven better known as Mango and Pensioner’s abode. The weather was fine and typically Easter so we had our raincoats and umbrellas just in case it rained.

Pensch being the hare, called everybody to his attention as he handed out 10 envelopes to the eager bunnies. The rules of the run were explained and it soon became aware to us all that we needed an onboard compass and a masters degree in mathematics. Anyway, that said off we went on our Easter egg hunt with the instructions;

1: Head in a westerly direction, down the hill and into the park. Follow the concrete path to it’s end at Dawson Blvd.

A pleasant stroll and plenty of discussion was had however no Easter eggs!

Next we were told;

2. Turn to your left. And head north to Wallman’s Road.

Fuck that said the group after falling for this trap and false trail on back in past runs! The decision was made to open envelope 3.

3.   Now turn to your right and head East along Wallman’s Rd to the roundabout.

This put us one up on the sly hare as the entire herd of bunnies in search of more Easter chocolate, short cutted!

We made it to the next envelope where someone explained;

4.   You are now in Explorer’s Estate. Take the first exit and head North along Landsborough Dve, then left to the East along John Oxley Ave. Stop outside #60.

Something was fishy, still no fucking Easter eggs, but the surprise was to be sprung as the wise old, very old, hare would make us pay for short cutting.

5. After enjoying the view, continue to Caley Tce. Turn right and head South. Stop outside #7.

On the trail, we mentioned how good the economy in Mackay region must be with this new estate showing people can still purchase new houses. We opened the next directional envelope;

6. False Trail. Return to #60 John Oxley Dve.

Shit! And more shit, still no eggs.

Back we hopped until;

7. Another false Trail. Return to #7 Caley Tce.

 The general consensus was the Pensioner is a prick!

8. Look around. How’s Mackay’s economy doing?  Continue south along Caley Tce, at the end swing left to the west, then right to the south. Stop at the end.  

 We already discussed the economy Pensch on our dizzy last few minutes. We were counting down the envelopes now but still eagerly looking for those delicious chocolate eggs.

9. See the path heading south to the traffic lights? Head to the lights.

Nice stroll, could have been some fucking eggs! Maybe this would happen on the next leg!

10. You are now at Sologinkins Road, and, if you know your directions, you’ll know which way is On Home.

And yes we did! Not one bloody Easter egg! Kill the hare!

Back at Harley Heaven, we drank and drank as we drowned our sorrows for completing an eggless Easter hunt trail.

It was not long before a robed monk called the herd of bunnies together. Hmmm what was going on? Are we getting eggs?

All the usual circle entertainment was delivered and we laughed and laughed and laughed some more, but it was not long before the robe reason was revealed as the monk ceremoniously named Billy, Hard Drive was born!

More alcohol was consumed and hash nosh served. Yummy food Mango but no eggs?

Until next week have a fantastic week team MH3, on on!

JCF

 

Run Date: 29/03/21
Run No: 2109
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: Palm St, Cremorne.
Number Hashers – 24

A sturdy group of 22 hashers (or was it 24?…..25?…..23?….. dunno) met at the overgrown site of an old old car yard, now mostly occupied by mossies and sandies. With vehicles parked strategically around the perimeter, it began to resemble a caryard once again, although with a distinct lack of customers.
Hare Half-a-Boat called us to order and sent the troops off over the bridge and into the depths of Mackay’s CBD, and around and around before arriving back where we started (I shortcutted in a little ahead of the throng.)
Some banter was bantered, and some dips dipped, until the Monkee issued a shrill call to order for the circle, whereupon the Monk launched his days of yesteryear quiz, keenly challenged by all present.  Hare Halfa was called forward for his reward. And then called forward 3 times more for a variety of offences. Newly named Dogstyle was charged with having zero hash attire, and some other charges were thrown about, which I fail to recall. Hooker told a joke that I told 2 weeks ago, Tonguer messed up his attempt at humour, Flaps regaled the ladies with a tale about his wrinkled penis, and I brought forward my old friends Flavio and Giovanni.
Some awards were handed out: Daffodil scored some shorts in recognition of 1600 runs. 1600! Let’s put that in perspective. With 52 runs in a year, deduct 3 for being away on holidays. Deduct 2 for occasional illness. Deduct a further 2 for the “couldn’t be bothered” factor, and that leaves 45 runs/year. Divide 1600 runs by 45, and we find Daff has been at it for 35.5 years, which takes us back to around 1984 or so. Obviously there’s been nothing on Monday night TV for many long years…..
JCF received a towel for 200 runs, and….. Piccolo received a towel for 200 runs. Now, if we slice Piccolo’s towel in half, and sew one half to JCF’s, they’ll both have the right sized towel!
Enough dribble…. The circle closed with the club song, raucously savaged by JCF and Streaker, and we got further into the beer. A magic pot of hot stuff appeared (Dunno what it was but it tasted just fine) and filled the hungry bellies of the crew, before slowly drifting off into the night.

See y’all next week at the little white house on the hill (did I say hill?) in Rural View

Pensch.

Run Date: 22/03/21
Run No: 2108
Hare: Streaker
Venue: Hunter St, West Mackay
Number Hashers – 30 give or take a 1 or 2

 

No report received.

 

Here are a few photos from the night,  we had torrential rain, a christening, an honorary position presentation, a birthday and a great night . Thanks Streaker.

 

     

 

 

Run Date: 15/03/21
Run No: 2107
Hare: Lassie
Venue: 8 Hague St, East Mackay

 

Up the driveway turn left follow the arrows, which were petite. There was SCB run announced – did anyone go on that? Flaps and Pensch followed their own trail.

Little did we know that we were in for a marathon, once on the Trail there was no going back. You were on it for the long haul. The piss stop was a welcome site. Mixture of ginger beer, stones ginger wine, couple of beers. Couple of Hashers 2 lazy bastards hopped in Lassies car for a ride back.

Lassie said its simple to get back. Turn left and go up to the end and turn right into Shakespeare, and that’s where it all went wrong for us 6 hashers. Snot and his harem wandered around East Mackay looking for the direction from the stars rather than navigating from Snot’s Google maps. All Piccolo was worried about on the run was missing out the nibbles. Shantelle (virgin runner) came to the rescue and guided us home arriving back at 7.30pm. Circle called immediately, didn’t have time to sit down so we sat in the circle – legs aching and ready for a drink.

Monk did his normal bullshit chatter. Hare was charged, she should have been shot instead! Bang Bang! For giving such incomplete directions. Biggest charge of the night was Nicka who went out to water the plants and feed the cat at Bucasia & Piccolo for going along for the ride.

Shantelle given a charge for Virgin Runner. Snot gave a charge to me for not listening to him and using Google Maps, but I pulled up the rest of the crew along with Snot and we all had a charge together.

Lassie brought out the feast for the army. Steakettes plenty of them along with sausages, pasta salads, onions hit the spot for a Monday night after a mammoth walk. But wait, there was more, ice-cream with wafers. I thought I was 10 yrs old again.

Picked our chairs up, said our goodbyes, until we meet again next Monday night at mine!

On On

Streaker (typed by my personal Sexretary Teflon)

 

Run Date: 08.03.21
Run No: 2106
Hare: Wheelie & Top Knot
Venue: Beachway Boulevard Park, Shoal Pt
Hashers: 28

28 hashers checked in for run 2106. Most were happy to hear it was only a short run with a possible piss stop. All were hoping wheelie had helped put together.  As promised which is very rare the run was a nice length with a piss stop to quench our thirst on the way.   We return home to the sunsetting over the water and a nice breeze to keep the bities at bay.  Circle was delayed as the hare had disappeared to grab the night’s dinner. 

Circle was started with what happened when until the hair returned.  Hare was charged followed by a joke from Pensioner guess who about.  Charges I remember were given to Delicious for being a absent GM, U Turn for getting lost when only having to drive across the road, U Turn again for gettinglost going to the toilet Saturday afternoon cause we wanted her to tell the tail again, Snot returned a cup to half a boat that didn’t belong to him thathad been returned to Snot but didn’t belong to him either, will the cup ever be returned to the right owner?  Insec is having a birthday on the 9th andwas charged given the choice for Tuesday executive lunch. Sorry can not remember other charges but they were all deserved.

Hashers all then dived into the evenings food of some delicious looking chicken dish with everyone wanting more only to be told there was no roo in the stew or chicken either, that’s right we had all turned vegetarian for the night and were very surprised with how yummy the no meat dishes were well done Top Knot. 

ON ON Lassie

PS please remember chairs for next week and the run is at 8 Hague St East Mackay but if you do go to Bucasia by mistake can you check the mail and feed the cat thanks.

 

 

Run Date: 01.03.21
Run No: 2105
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Col Story Park (Old Info Centre) City Gates Nebo Road Mackay
Hashers: 26

26 keen hashers turned up at the old Information Centre, all keen for the night’s  run/walk, beers and fun and frivolity.

Corgi and Daffodil were conerned about having enougn nosh to keep the worms at bay.

As those that were really keen headed of with Corgi around the botanical gardens, others sniffed out the pub and some stayed at the run site, while Daffodil performed some magic and ‘abracadabra, there was plenty of nosh.

As the runners/walkers straggled in desparate to get to the esky and payed up, the bullshit banter flew around. The monk called the circle: down downs were handed out toe the hares Corgi and Daffodil; virgin runner Rhys (wtf’s a Rhys); returning runners Insect & Snot. There were others but cant remember them.  Jokes and stories were shared,  business attended to and Hash Song sung, circle closed.

Nosh was served,  more piss drunk, and bullshit flowed freely. Then we all toddled of home. Thanks for a good night Corgi and Daffodil.

Run Date: 22.02.21
Run No: 2104
Hare: Teflon
Venue: 2 Geoffrey Thomas Dr, Bucasia
Hashers 25

Written on behalf of Hooker, who, after recent by-pass surgery, is too weak to push the keys on her keyboard!
25 hashers turned up at Teflon’s on the most humid night in Mackay’s history. So, of course we all shuffled into the sauna, commonly referred to as the outdoor entertainment area, an enclosed area bereft of breeze. With sweat beginning to bubble, we slowly formed up at the front gate (?) to be informed by Teflon that she was the live hare and we all should follow her. Which we did, around and around the wilds of Bucasia, only to end up back where we started.
Beer and cider flowing, we all compared sweat stains on our shirts, whilst nibbling on corn cobs and chips. Banter was being bantered, when the monk called the circle to order. After a history lesson on this day, the hare was called forward for a drink. Now, not knowing I would have to write this report, I carefully didn’t take note of proceedings. So…… a bloke told a joke, followed by another bloke who told a better joke, Hooker had a go as well, then new runner Fred (or was it Freddie) came forward to tell his life story and have a drink. A visiting runner from somewhere, named The Bat (or was it just Bat) ((or was that his name at all?)) was also called forward for a free sip, then Hooker tried to charge someone with something, only to have the charge reversed, and a down down to match thrown her way, After which, she was immediately called back for another drink, before laying a charge on Mango, who likewise had a drink, and then something else may or may not have happened, buggered if I know, I wasn’t listening….. So, onto the club song, after which, 2x time visitor Swollen Colon set up a quiz with ironing board covers as prizes. The men’s prize was won by…. Who cares, it’ll never be used, however the women’s prize was hotly contested by all the mad-keen ironers among them, Hooker coming out victorious. So, from next week, we should all hand over our sweaty hash shirts to Hooker, for washing and ironing, I’m sure she’ll oblige. Teflon then laid out a Mexican style feast (or was it Iranian, dunno, maybe Spanish?) which the sweaty ravenous hordes gobbled down with gusto. More beery banter, and the tribe began to wander off into the night.
Corgi and Daffodil are in charge of proceedings next week, if Daff’s back will allow him to stand up!
See ya at the old Tourist Info Centre City Gates. Pensch

Run Date: 15/02/21
Run No: 2103
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Crt, Slade Point 
Hashers: 21

21 turned up at Half a Boat’s Shed. 6.05pm and the pressure was on to start the run.

Out the gate and which way asks Half a Boat, we don’t bloody know! Now there were probably 3 ways but I can only account for 1 of these. Making it up to Slade Point Road and some dwindled down Slade Point Road, some dwindled across Slade Point Road (this was me) along with Wheelie and Top Knot, Streaker, Marilyn, Smut, Tarboy and whingeing Faye!

Let’s go up to the The Kommo Toera Trail – it’s a short walking track allowing you to meander under the towering Melaleuca trees to observe a distinctly unique wetland ecosystem. It was surreal, the colour of the ‘moss’ was gorgeous.

We came to the end of the trail and it was a ‘On Back’ MUCH to Hooker’s horror…you mean we have to walk ALL that way back again…. But we did find mention of a ‘Marsh Harrier’ on the information board – which Smut kindly pointed out. 

  

Back at the shed nibbles were put out to the starving hoards and lids popped off for a thirst-quenching drink, while Hash Cash reined the $$ in both for the Hash night & Raffle drawn next week.

Circle called Monk talked about interesting events in 2003 – like did anyone have a vasectomy?? And Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates during re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, killing all seven astronauts aboard. Who else can remember Smut’s Wikipedia info?

Few jokes, few charges, visiting runner Swollen Colon who drew the Harriette’s in for spin the bottle…what were we in for??? Surprise surprise, the winner Fork won an ironing board cover (for which Swollen Colon is a rep working in Canelands) then he drew the Hashers in for their go and Golly won the Darwin Stubby Cooler, which ended up on his head!  Swollen Colon still here next week so you might be lucky to have another go. See you never know what a Hash night is going to bring!

Out of Annie’s kitchen, Half a Boat brings out a spread, Seafood Pasta, Mince and Lentils, Cauliflower with sauce. Well done Half a Boat. Then onto the cake!

But wait there’s more. 15 Feb is International Angelman Day. Top Knot very kindly brought a cake along for Wheelie who suffers from this condition. Angelman syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the nervous system and causes severe physical and learning disabilities.

       

More chatter, before we packed up our bits said good night. Until we meet again next Monday night at Teflons. On On

Run Date: 08/02/21
Run No: 2102
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Crt, Bucasia
Hashers: 24

 

On our way down to Shoal Point we were watching the clouds circling above and building. We thought we might get a storm later. We were running late but everyone was still out the front and Golly asked if we had seen Nicka on our way down as well. No Nicka or Piccolo tonight.

Golly let us know the run was marked in chalk and lime and there were ‘two drink stops’ to encourage us all.  Around the block and down the road we followed Lassie and Uturn setting the pace. We came to the beach where we interrupted a couple having an evening drink on the foreshore watching the sun setting. They didn’t think there would be this many people on a Monday walking their dogs – Corgie & Lassie! Raggedy explained the trees along the road would be cut down to make way for a new road to the new estate planned for the beach front.

A refreshing drink stop to quench our thirst we were off along the sand to the red light park for the remainder. We followed back through the basket’s ball park and retraced the marks back home.

No Top Knot tonight either. He wasn’t well but sent Wheelie and his other carer with the Hash Piss minus the ciders so we found out later. Golly came to the rescue picking up a new variety to sample on his way to collect the pizzas we were having for Hash Nosh. Not going without while we were waiting Golly was quick to bring out the marinated chicken wings and legs just after we all grabbed a seat. Streaker tried desperately to find the bones before Donny so he didn’t get one stuck in his neck. She’s a good mum. Smut called the circle and we remembered the years gone by in 2002? Golly & Raggedy were charged for their run. Pensioner & Delicious had a Birthday charge and jokes were told. Hooker was charged for asking where was park in a manual vehicle and I can’t remember more. Pizza’s were delivered by Golly and Teflon with lightning surrounding us. All satisfied we all started to meander home before the rain? Wheelie’s carer was packing up Wheelie’s new chair but it wouldn’t fold back down. Daffodil came to the rescue. What a sigh of relief. We all can relate to this problem. The chair was going in the car whether folded or not. Great run, location and company.

 On On Corgi