Date – 13 October, 2025
Run – 2350
Hare – Hot Rocks
Venue – Mackay City Bowls Club
Hashers: 32???

Hashers out of the woodwork…30-32 past and present Hashers convened in anticipation of AGPU at the Mackay Bowls Club.  
I lie.  They convened in anticipation of FGAFF.
“I’m the live hare,” announced Hotty and he led us all (well 2/3s of us or so) on a merry chase to he and DT’s stomping grounds for some excellent Hash Piss.  Well lubricated Hashers hit the bar in droves on our quick return.  A rowdy circle was called and duely facilitated by our history-less Monk.  Many down-downs included a huge circle of returned runners, (not sure if they’ll be returning, but) and nearly twin birthday girls.  We’ve all definitely heard better jokes, but someone definitely appreciated Christian/Christine.

Nosh was announced and consumed with great camaraderie before the serious business of AGPU began.  It was a painless procedure due mostly to behind the scenes negotiations on the Goose Ponds last week.  More importantly, perhaps, the annual awards were proclaimed:

Short-cutting Bastard went to Zorro for his dash to the Cooroy at Run 2340.
Best Run was all Blurry’s for his memorable efforts at our Away/Celebration Run.
Worst Nosh was indisputably Prick’s prize.
Shortest run went to missing in action (get better soon) Fork.
Longest run was won by Juice who accepted her prize with this comment…”We’ve all become a bunch of Sooks”.
Best Nosh was all Flaps’s!
A new award, Most Exotic Executive Lunch Experience,  went to Golly (and we’ll never forget why.)
Finally, Most Runs went to Pench, despite his motorcycle adventuring.
To top off the night, the new committee was formally presented to the ragged cheers of pissed Hashers.  Congratulations to the new team! 

New Committee below

Run Date: 6 October 2025
Run No: 2349
Hare: Nicka Licka
Venue: Park behind Goosies, North Mackay
Hashers: 24

A merry band of enthusiastic worn out broken down hashers gathered at the shelter adjacent to the Goosies bowlo.

As the sun set, the throng of some 20 souls set off around the goose ponds. Not the 4 Beer hunters,  who were straight off to the bar at the bowling club. A distance of approx 300meters. Whilst there, we enjoyed beer and wine to our liking. 

After a suitable time, we returned to the venue only to find the hare didn’t pay the power bill so all was in darkness. Thank goodness for led lights. The pack arrived back with their little tongues hanging out, the piss stop was still in the hares 4WD.

A vast array of nibbles, homemade dips and chips were laid out. Our gorging soon ended as Smut called the circle to order.

Following our now mandatory history/fact lesson, the hare was given a sip of his piss stop brew. It was discovered that Nicker did a great job making the brew so Zorro gave all the Beer hunters a down down.

Returning runners Lassie, Tonto, Mango, Prick, JCF were charged as was a second charge for Mango for referring to a Harriet named Judy. I hear you ask what the fuks a Judy. There was a joke told by JCF that took out the Knothead award.

All good things come to an end; the Song was sung and circle coolosaid.

NICKER produced a feast that prompted seconds and his special recipe Brownies. We then sat around talking shit until the led lights dimmed whereupon we went home.

Next week’s run is the AGPU from the Mackay Bowls Club

On ON 

Out Going Committee 

Run Date: 29 September 2025
Run No: 2348
Hare: Smut
Venue: 20 Royal Boulevard, Glenella
Hashers: 21

About 20 Hashers assembled at Smuts  abode for what looked like being the first Dry run from this area for quite some time. After first dragging the hare out of the kitchen the group assembled out the front at 1808 to get their instructions for the wander around the neighbourhood of which nobody took the slightest bit of notice because Smut had the piss stop across his back and they just followed him. Some people will do anything to have a following. 

Don’t know what the run was like because I was forced to stay behind to guard the esky for the group which I did in the most excellent and efficient manner confirmed by the Hashers first action of checking their precious refreshments immediately on their return. Followed by a extended period contentment and conversation until the Monk called the circle.

Following the deluge of information dragged off the internet for those boring TV game shows we got down to the business of charging people for misdemeanours (smut, harbour, returning runner’s, virgin runner’s,  etal ) and then the Alzheimer’s Blurrie who could not remember why a castrated bull wears a bell, then the sad story from Insex about the virgin amputee learning his astronomical fate (by high tide) 

By  now a few of the crowd were getting restless so the song was sung and the seagulls circled waiting for the hash nosh to be served  After the initial swarm things settled down to the quietest time of the evening before the great Lemming exit 

Next week’s run will be from the BBQ area behind the Gooses bowls club

On on

Nicka

Run Date: 22 September 2025
Run No: 2347
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: John Breen Park, North Mackay
Hashers: 16 

The travel weary hare (Pensioner) ambushed arrivals at the carpark entrance to the John Breen Park and regaled unwary hashers with tales of his recent motorcycle pilgrimage through the US.

Following multiple repeats of the same story, the hare handed out six envelopes with run instructions, citing a dicky knee as his excuse for not setting a marked trail.

A welcome piss-stop laced with fully imported bootleg Jack Daniels whiskey was gladly consumed by runners before returning to the piss truck.

The circle was called and the hare was charged, not once, but multiple times – Mango had to gracefully decline consuming a charge as she had become the designated driver following Pensioner’s numerous indiscretions.

The song was sung and circle closed before participants hoed into lashings of sausages and onion on bread followed by tasty chocolate and / or coconut slice.

See you next week at 20 Royal Boulevard, Glenella.

On On 

Smut

Run No: 2346
Hare: Juice & Termite
Venue: 12 Barclays Rd, Dumbleton
Hashers: 16

The evening sun was setting as we headed out to a supposedly snake free sojourn across the Barclays Road meadows. It was downhill, then uphill then down n up and down again for a piss stop. We eventually went up n down in the reverse order to find the on home. 

Then it was up n down steps to get to the hash piss truck all nite. Talk about exercise!!. Our lovely Juice surprised us all with her salsa tacho mix on corn chips. Definitely got a keeper here Termite. As the last of the nibbles was devoured Tarzan called the circle to order.

The hares got their down downs as usual, Blurry received his birthday gift. Golly was immortalised for his cockroach sweet n sour pork at our last executive lunch. Several jokes and a few true stories saw the circle closssed.

Another excellent meal co-cooked by Termite was eagerly devoured by all followed by fresh Anzac bikkies for dessert. 

Everyone sat around solving the world’s problems for ages. Then one hasher left and everyone followed 

Next week is a Pensioner and Mango affair from John Breen park, see ys there.

On On

Snot

Run Date: 12 to 14 September 2025
Run No: 2345
Hare: Celebration Run, Bow Hunters, Seaforth
Hashers: 16

A great time was had by all at the cfa, gfa at Seaforth Bow Hunter’s  park on Friday 12^th Sept to Sunday 14^th Sept 2025.

Friday night was spent at the local Seaforth Bowls Club with most of us catching the courtesy bus there and back where local dishes were eaten, great music was listened to and lots of drinks were devoured by some.  U-Turn made it her duty to show the locals how to drink and dance. In fact, in true hash tradition one drinks and dances until they all fall down.  Whilst all this was happening Tounger and Blurry joined with Jock Strap and decided to empty their wallets over the bar until 12.30am when they were asked to leave.  

Saturday saw a slow start by the author and a quiet start to the day by the drinking team. Breakfasts were consumed between 8am and  noon. The run commencing at approx. 2.30pmish from front gate. The first piss stop was held here whilst the throng assembled.

The walk was beautifully set by Blurry around the roads to the beach, along the waterfront.

We chatted with some locals and visitors alike as we ambled along the beachfront.  Four more piss stops before we then ventured on to the Bowls Club again. It was here we were joined by our much beloved Jock Strap. This time just for a toilet stop and the second last piss stop and then on back through lovely green vegetation to the On home.

Not sure what the piss stop drink was but there was plenty of it and lots of stops which made for a beautiful run/walk/meander.  Thanks to Insex and Snot for the refreshments!

Circle was had with a few nibblies and dirty ditties.  Jockstrap, the now local, joined us for the festivities.  Pants had won a meat tray the night before so kindly shared her winnings with us for a beautifully cooked BBQ tea.  Kahlua used to wash down.  Yum! 

Sadly, all good things must come to an end and we all had to be gone by Sunday lunch.  A few light showers in the morn helped us on our way. 

For a weekend of cfa, gfa and Tarz adds “dfa” for ‘do fuck all’, a great time was had by all.  Here’s to the next one.  Am sure we can do it again.

On On U-Turn

Run Date: 8 September 2025
Run No: 2344
Hare: Maple Syrup
Venue: 66 O’Brien Esplanade, Shoal Point
Hashers: 18

It was the usual meet and greet at the starting point however Piccolo unwittingly spiced things up as she wrapped her arms around Zorro. He absent-mindedly placed his arm around her and called her Matches.

Maple Syrup tried to smooth over the fact that the run marks had disappeared in the rain and she didn’t want to cover the course again. Honeyed words of contrition didn’t wash; all knew it was a complete fabrication of facts – “Willy Weather” stated otherwise.

So up Volute St and left along busy Shoal Point Rd to the roundabout, further along to Sunset Beach Park where we walked thru foliage to a natty little lookout. Maple Syrup was concerned about the strength of the drink stop gin and decided that a thimbleful was sufficient – it was not. Welcome to the Nanny state!

The hare had magically aligned heaven and earth just for the Hashers it seemed. A blood moon hung in the dark sky and reflected in the waves. It was quite a spectacle. As we walked along the beach, the sand was firm and the torches put out circles of light. This must have prompted another torch bearer who came down to the waves and cut right behind us. 

We proceeded at a fast pace with a whipping wind moving us along. Not content to allow us just to mooch on home, Maple Syrup organised an obstacle course. 5 minutes before we traversed the rocks Raggedy Ann and I were engaged in a conversation about old age, falling over, broken bones and sprains. This might be the reason we were very tentative and needed a helping hand.

Back at No: 66, Blurry and Insex competed for loss of memory as their jokes seemed to come and then flitter away. Smut announced that his blast from the past was just dry facts.  Nothing different from the usual fare. Termite had no money in his wallet, wrote an IOU but then was voted in to be the treasurer the following week – no way to run a business.  Maple Syrup has obviously spent time in Texas because the chilli con carne, in my opinion was flavoursome and beany.

Next week’s true blue Hash run will commence at 12 Barclays Rd, Dumbleton. The riverbank and cane paddock headlands will be off limits as venomous snakes abound at this time of the year and people who are struggling with the economic situation may not be kindly disposed towards a crowd tramping thru their living quarters. Therefore, there is only one option left.

On On

Juice

Run Date: 1 September 2025
Run No: 2343
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Muller Park, Ooralea
Hashers: 20 

20 Hashers pulled into the Muller Park lot in dribs and drabs on a breezy first day of Spring run.  Everyone marvelled at Daffodil’s poached power using his extremely long cord, plug-in light and wondered why TF council provides no lighted area here despite the table and BBQ.   ‘I sure hope there’ll be beer tonight,’ commented one concerned Hasher before the final ‘drab’ arrived right on 6.

Run directions, partially listened to, and all were off through convoluted, flat streets.  Amazingly, nearly all the ‘runners’ stuck together on their leisurely stroll.  Perhaps it was because even those with the best sense of direction were completely bamboozled by where exactly we were or maybe it was because everyone was in a chatty mood and enjoying each other’s company!  Finally, the lights of Woolies and Macka’s hinted we were almost ‘home’; official distance: 3.45 km.  Crackers and dips were eagerly devoured after that record distance!

Circled called, the monk impressed us with some interesting sporting facts including World Record number of push-ups (10,507 was it?) closely guessed by ever knowledgeable Insex, and the two countries who have attended every ‘modern’ Olympic Games (Greece and Australia) nailed by ‘facts at her finger-tips’, Mrs Appeal. 

After some interesting charges, clever jokes, and a rousing rendition of the Hash song (with harmony by Golly, making up for Pench’s absence) Corgi’s sausage ‘au jus’ with assorted breads and root vegetable mash was inhaled.   Port with Tim Tams sent all off nicely warmed despite the ‘winter-ish’ breeze that picked up to chase us to our vehicles.

Run next week at 66 O’Brien Esplanade.  See you then.

On-On, Maple

Run Date: 25 August 2025
Run No: 2342
Hare: Smut / Committee
Venue: Park At Hospital End of Bridge Road
Hashers: 21 

21 Hashers fronted up at the park on the Pioneer River at the Hospital end of Bridge Road.  Smut gave instructions for the run and we started walking along the concrete path between the hospital and the river. Emerging from the mangroves and looking across the cane fields, the steaming Racecourse Mill silhouetted by the setting sun was a sight to be seen, should have had my camera. Continuing along the path down Lagoon Street to Holland Street and on home along Bridge Road, a comfortable 3 k walk.

Beers in hand Smut got the book up to date with who attended and then called the circle.  Jokes and true stories were told and a few charges. Especially Tarzan for losing his car keys but were found by Snot. Smut got his down down for setting the run.

Pizzas were delivered with garlic bread for entree. They were thick crusted and had ample fillings but no Tim tams.  Another enjoyable night by the river. Getting cooler we all headed home around 830. 

OnOn Daffodil and Corgi.

Next week’s run is at Muller Park, 88 Boundary Road, Ooralea

Date – 18/08/2025
Run – 2341
Hare – Blurry
Venue – 19 Tern Street Slade Point
Hashers – 19

19 Adventurous souls made their way to the most southerly of Mackay’s Northern Beaches on a beautiful sunny day. After marvelling at the high tide, it was off on trail.

Blurry took us up a mangrove and mossie infested creek then through the burbs and into the bush. It was about this time that the whingers became louder than the mossies. 

After about 3k later a vision of Snot was encountered at a small park with numerous paper cups filled with a secret concoction of spirits and stimulants.

Returning home, the campfire was soon warming our hearts as the beer quenched our thirsts. Our Monk then called the rabble to order and the hare was given his just desserts. Following this, or maybe it was before, we were updated on the heights and depths of our oceans and mountains on Mars. Very important if we ever set runs there, I suppose. 

There were jokes told, returning runners welcomed, birthday presents given. All in all, quite an enjoyable night.

Nosh was very nice and I believe most had a second helping and didn’t seek dessert. 

Around this time, we all became tired and off home we all went.

Next week is a committee run from the park near the fishing platform on the Old Hospital Bridge  on Bridge Road (near the hospital)