Non HashTrash #2067 or 8 or 9

57 brave non-hashers didn’t turn up at someone’s place, for what turned out to be the non-hash event of the year. Upon arrival we found non-hare Prick had gone all out with a team of masseuses busily preparing benches for a quick rub down. Massages over, the venerable non-hare led us down the drive, where he explained the trail had not been marked in chalk, flour or gold-plated toilet paper. Amid a cry of OnOn we didn’t set off. At the first corner we found the non-hare had not provided a piss-stop of refreshing cold Coronas. Nor had he provided any Virus Vodka, which could have made up an interesting CoronaVirus beveridge. We then failed to proceed, with Screw complaining his knee was not sore. Delicious claimed her knee was likewise not sore, and even old Knicker didn’t do a highkick with his non dodgy old leg. Fork didn’t quite run a sprint, and Hooker failed to get lost, not helped by Lassie, who claimed to not know the way. Running late, Tonguer failed to appear, but Snot did, having not picked up Blurry for a non-attempt to flee S.A.’s rigid border patrols. Golly didn’t find any non-false trails, and Corgi was quick to not find any either. A large group of nattering harriettes did not gossip, and the rest of the blokes didn’t short cut, not following Zorro to the nearest non-open pub. Eventually, we all didn’t wander back to Prick’s abode, where we weren’t at all surprised to find a team of white-coated silver service waiters not serving marvelously decadent hors d’oeuvres.
We didn’t gather around the portable bar not staffed by red-coated barmen, serving non-drinks of any description. Some of our Harriettes nearly suggested said barmen were not wearing enough clothes on such a chilly night.
Suddenly the non-monkee called for a square, not having a circle. The NonMonk likewise didn’t have a run report, a hare downdown, or any charges. No jokes were told, and no-one said anything. The non-GM had no announcements, and several members fell asleep.
The mob was not surprised then, to hear the non-hare call for quiet, as he didn’t wave his arm in the direction of a vast buffet of fillet steak, lobster, and a full menu of ready vegs and salads, meats and fishes, pastas and various sauces, served by voluptuous serving wenches.  All of which wasn’t there, and therefore not paid for from his own vastly deep pockets.
After not indulging in such a feast, we non-hashers settled in for a session of non drinks not served by the non-barmen, until 11.00pm didn’t roll around, and the hare gleefully told us all a fleet of stretched limousines were not waiting to drive us all home.
Once home, I fell into an immediate deep-sleep, didn’t snore once, and failed to have a throbbing headache in the morning.
All in all at terrible hash non-night   

See ya, Pensch.

                             *******************************************************************

Well what a week it has been! So many liberties shutting everything non essential down. I like all hashers across the world was extremely upset, yet understanding, when MH3 held its last run for some time last week.

Having said that I emailed all of the applicable applicants in my email list and decided to rebel against the decision and hold a virus rebel hash anyways. Well all of the recipients on the email list turned up and what a great evening it was.

For the fist time ever, held the run from my kitchen. At precisely 608pm I called everyone to attention and explained the trail markings etcetera along with the usual puns, short, no hills, mud or water on the trail. I laughed because I called bullshit on that one. I’ve never set a trail without some surprise!

Off I went and it was not long before I found a check, leading me all the way to the coffee table before finding it was a false trail. On back I went, finding the right trail leading me to bedroom 2. I thought at one stage I was on a run set be Delicious because I passed through a downpour of rain in the bathroom and crossed a water trap bathtub before moving onto the main bedroom. Stuffed from the run I took a quick nap before moving onto the courtyard. The jungle caused by the owner not weeding the garden was like crossing a forest and getting onto dark I realised I didn’t bring a torch.

I heard the familiar “on on” call thankfully knowing I was on trail and finally found an on home taking me back to the kitchen.

Back home and not finding the familiar piss truck, I reached into the fridge and pulled out a coldie. Pensioner being absent I also took the money for the night crossing off the attendees.

Some pretty funny conversations and stories from the week were told but I was rudely interrupted by not Mango calling the member to form a circle.

Not Tarzan got me up for a drink for being the front running bastard and last home. Charges were also given to JCF for not wearing hash attire and me for chatting in the circle. I winged and whined dictating I was not Streaker but not Tarzan being monk wins the argument every time.

Executive Lunch will be in the courtyard for those interested, just scratch around the fridge and see what you can find.

Dinner was good, grilled cheese on toast. As usual no desert which again caused an argument, I had to laugh, again.

As the evening and alcohol continued to flow I can’t remember what else happened.

Until next week on on and enjoy your isolation!

On On

JCF

 

Run Date: 23rd March 2020
Run No #2065
Hare: Corgi & Daffodil
Venue: Picnic area at Ooralea Waters, Bakers Creek. 
Hashers: 13

 

HHHi Hashers

It is with a sad heart that I have to tell you that Corgi & Daffodil’s run last night was our last run until all is well again due to the Corona Virus.

It was great fun down at Bakers Creek, with Parkland and new subdivision area along the side of the creek. When I arrived Corgi & Daffodil were scrubbing the tables and benches, so they were nice and clean for us. Then it was off on the run, got dark quickly everyone enjoyed it.

On our return the usual nibbles, eventually circle was called a couple of jokes told, no charges except returning runner Baagoose.

Disposable cups were used and yours truly gave them the sad news no one wanted to hear that this was our last Run, postponed indefinitely.

A great rendition of the Hash song sung, circle closed Nosh was beef stew followed by chocy biscuits. Very nice!

A lot of chatting was done, and good-byes were made 1.5 metres from each other, and hoping we see each other soon.

On On until we meet again at Hash.

Run Date: 16^th March 2020
Run No #2064
Hare: Teflon & Golly
Venue: 2 Geoffrey Thomas Drive Bucasia
Hashers: 15   

 
It was good to come back into an area we haven’t been for quite awhile. No we weren’t the last to arrive. Zorro was trying to find the entrance too. No Tonguer & Prick. Maybe they had to self isolate because they have been away in New Zealand. After six now Teflon called us out to the front to hand over to Golly who had had set the trail for Teflon because she had only just moved into this new address but she had it looking immaculate. Golly said the trail was set on chalk and lime. Off we went checking towards Bucasia and to our surprise it was a Hot Salami, Fill de Jaw and the dogs walking towards us. I recognised the dogs first of course being a Corgi. Fil said Wheelie was self isolating as well and wouldn’t be at Hash for a couple of weeks. On over to the other side of the highway towards the shopping centre we followed trail to a check. I checked two directions but it was the third one that was the trail. On over back across the highway towards where the old dump used to be and then back up and around the streets to view the sun setting. It was getting into torch time for it was near dark when we got back.

The short cutters were back before us again. Lost trail they said.

Chips and Dips came out and everyone was catching up what they’ve been up too including the Social night on the weekend at Malaysia House.

No Tarzan tonight so Mango called for the circle and Zorro took charge. The Hares Teflon and Golly took their down downs for their resilient consistent efforts in keeping us on trail.

No drinking out of the mugs more than once was adhered to so we didn’t pass on germs and the leg hand shake was practised by Golly and Zorro. 

No jokes were told but Pensioner said Corgi should tell one. I could only remember part of the one so I declined but it was – What do you call cattle with a sense of humour? Laughing stock! Charges were called and I thought Half a Boat looked like he came straight from work which he did- no Hash tshirt but he had his Hash cap. He took a down down anyway. One down down left for Delicious for giving up the cigarettes and fixing Teflon’s toilet seat which had a note on it saying it was a little wonkie. The screws were loose underneath and Delicious took the task in hand and tightened them. 

St Patrick’s day on Tuesday so Executive lunch was decided to be at the Shamrock. To our surprise it was pizza’s for tea so before the circle had finished Teflon and Streaker went out to collect them.  No left overs tonight they were all gone by the time Teflon brought out the chocolate biscuits. Last beers were called by Half a Boat who had been up since 5am.

 On On

 Corgi & Daffodil.

 Bring torches & chairs for next weeks run please.    

 

HHHi Hashers

Our first Social event for 2020 was a hit! With 14 Hashers in attendance, those that were there had a great night. Very pleasant evening weather-wise, we were outside so the area to ourselves to get up to Hash nonsense which we did! Food great and BYO…what more could Hashers ask for. GM arranged a couple of Hash games guess the number of jelly beans in the Corona bottle which Golly won! with 165 (there were 167) and pass the parcel which was cleverly done with cards on the parcel to indicate how many to pass the parcel. Fork won the parcel and guess what it was! A toilet roll! which she then distributed evenly amongst us, to which turned into using them as masks, pirate eye patches, blindfolding, nose stops you name it! Photos below for your entertainment!

On On 
Teflon 

      

 

 

Run Date:  9th March 2020
Run No #2063
Hare: JCF 
Venue: Slade Pt Lookout _ Half a Boat’s Shed 
Hashers: 14

 

With rain looming , some hashers walked up the hill and some lazy buggers drove !

To be told at the top, that the actual run started down the bottom ! so down we went again.

The run was set in pink tape and toilet paper, the later was stolen!!!!! JCF didn’t stockpile !

It was a short walk along the beach and back via the road, then ON ON to home at Half a Boat’s shed

For the circle etc. The rain held of again ! Nibberlies were brought out, ( but we don’t do nibberlies at

JCF’s runs! ).Monk Zorro  called the circle, and the monkey of the night was Golly,Ha Ha !!!

Usual crap jokes were told, where are you Pea Beau ? Delish had a birthday drink, and no other special

occasions occurred. Hash song sang ,and beautifully done to !!!, with harmonies from Pensch and JCF!

Circle closed.

Nosh was Spagetti Bol. , made to Grandma’s recipe so we were told ( bit more bullshit).

Followed by Tim Tams (but we don’t do desert at JCF’s runs !! he blamed it on someone else! Typical.

Cost of nosh was $63 , amazing what you can do, if you try!! Well done JCF !! take note all you other whinging bastards !!!!

A lot of rubbish talked before we all left for home.

ON ON to Teflons new abode next week!

 

Streaker.

 

 

 

Run Date:  2nd March 2020
Run No #2062
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: Shoal Point Park 
Hashers: 18ish

Somewhere between 18 and a thousand turned up in a park at Shoal Point to see a Hash trail set by Rageddy Ann and she did not disappoint ordering Golly to set the trail.

It was the longest trail on record for run 2062 and also the best run ever for run 2062. The lime markings every 10 metres guaranteed non of ya could lose the trail yet somehow it still happened. Additionally, some of us thought the trail was too short so we made our own.

Finally back at the park the bullshit and banter started along with the snacks. Yummy as it was I still can’t work out why you would eat before dinner!

Next on the agenda was the circle which saw honorary, standby, part time as required monk Zorro take the stage. Charges were given and jokes were told but what happens at Hash stays at Hash so come along and find out for yourself!

Dinner saw snags, onions, bread, some green shit and some spuds. It was yummy. Obviously some people didn’t have enough because they needed more in the way of sweets.

We drank some more and talked a little more bullshit and then went home because we were all excited to hear we are doing it all again next week.

Run 2063 will start at Lambert’s Lookout with the circle and dinner back at Half a Boat’s shed. Until then have a great week!

On On

JCF

Run Date:  24th February 2020
Run No #2061
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Slade Point
Hashers: 9

 

9 hashers arrived for half a boats run at his big shed and little Donny,

After waiting and waiting for more hashers to arrive, O well no more coming off we went,

With our heads to the sky, was a wonderful walk, no rain, no mud, no hills, no humidity, and no mozzies,

Half a boat made a delicious sea food cob loaf, which didn’t last long, for nibbles,

Circle was called , down down for hare, a few jokes, was a very quick circle,

Hash Nosh was served, we chatted for a while, then off to home for an early night,

 Thank you half a boat,

On On  Raggedy Ann.

See you next week at Shoal Point Park, hopefully there will be a beautiful sun set, should it be raining it will be back at home 4 Trochus Court Shoal Point 

Run Date:  17th February 2020
Run No #2060
Hare: Wombat 
Venue: 8 Hokins Court Glenella
Hashers: 20ish

 

As we gathered waiting with gusto to start the run of runs with hare Wombat, many commented about the readiness of the fire pit. Just what we need, a bit of heat, said some sarcastic nameless Hasher. She’ll be right, we will use it to get rid of the mozzies, said a professor hasher. We made a perfect circle as we set up our chairs and eagerly awaited instructions. The group grew and before long at precisely 18:03hrs we were called to attention. Geriatric Zorro was a late comer most likely because his Alzheimer’s took him to a run of yesteryear. As we gathered in the front at the driveway, everyone took out their notepads and began writing the orders for the run.

The trail was hot, long, hot and fun. The trail was also rather hot. We meandered like old people at the local crossing at 18:08 with drivers not quite sure if they should brake, slow or accelerate. Our lives were in our hands and although scared some had the courage to yell at the naughty cars. We navigated the crossing by 18:12 and with renewed confidence we fearlessly followed Wombat who was worried that the trail was washed away, led the pace. Under pressure Wombat conceded to the author she could not recall if she had set the trail. We both giggled for a few seconds before we forgot what we were laughing about. The highway crossing scared the crap out of me, but someone kindly pointed out the traffic went past on an overhead crossing. Appeased with that answer and forgetting what I was panicking about I looked at my notepad and wondered what the f#ck do I have a notepad for? As we walked and forgot we were on a trail, we lost the main group who went in search of some arrows.

Back home, we scoffed some beers, chatted about the things we talked about last week, because we can’t remember things anymore. Except for Golly, he had a story about Fords winning the final battle over Holden’s.

The Circle was called and the monk gave the hare a drink, the jokes were excellent even though some had to be explained. Charges were dished out and more jokes were told.

The song was sung and dinner was served.

Great food Wombat but none of us can recall what it was.

Good night in all for those of us that can remember. Oh and by the way, please don’t forget to fill out the CWA Membership Form for those who did not do it last night. See attached. CWA Hash Membership Form

On On
Per
Half a Boat