Date: 25/06/18
Run #1970
Hare: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Street Beaconsfield
Hashers: 21

 

21 fine Hash specimens assembled at the abode of Flaps, for run 1970. No, it wasn’t set in 1970, although Flaps is old enough to remember the fog that was 1970. In the yard we found a fire cheerily burning, under a hovering light held up by a fishing rod. After much dribble from the horde, the hare marched us out to the front, to tell us, and not tell us again, that the trail started some distance away. We had to go left, right, left again to find it. So, off we went, right, left, right again, until Fil de Jour wheeled Wheelie into a suspiciously dark park. As they disappeared Corgi called the OnOn form somewhere off to the left, and we actually found the trail, leading us through some very dodgy back streets of Beaconsgrove. Around about now, rain started to fall, scattering the pack into several directions. We all managed to find a way back to the beer, and settled in under the patio, leaving the fire to sizzle in the rain by itself. Then, amazingly, Delicious rounded the corner, having actually completed the trail….. and even ran the last few metres!

Flaps had prepared some garlic bread and other nibblies, and had 3 or 4 kettles simmering away. Thinking he was trying to convert us to tea drinkers, we quickly grabbed a beer, when, lo and behold, Flaps began pouring pea n ham soup from said kettles. Very tricky.  And very tasty.

In the absence of the monk, Golly stepped up and called the circle. There was the usual down down for the hare, followed by a second coz he still looked thirsty. Daffodil came forward for a birthday sip, as did Zorro…. Piccolo also got a free drink courtesy of Knicker, but details elude me. A couple of jokes produced some polite snickering, but then, Half A Boat stepped forward with a frighteningly  true story that puts him squarely in the league of Ivan Milat. That, coupled with recent interactions with the boys in blue made us very very nervous.
A quick chorus of the club song ensued, followed by more beer to wash away images of Ivan.

Flaps disappeared inside, and then produced an excellent chicken curry, accompanied by a Mac Cheese with prawns in it….. muchios deliciousiousness. Another Hash Nosh Award, perhaps?

More dribble continued, until Half a Boat pissed off which the Hash Piss, so we all went home.

Another fine night at The House Of Flaps.

See y’all next week at 12 Douglas Cres Rural View, where I’ve managed to find a trail with NO hills. Bring a torch.
Pensioner.

 

Run Date: 18/6/18
Run #1969
Hare: Baagoose
Venue: 21 Park Street Mackay 
Hashers: 14

 

14 hardy hashers gathered at the home of Bargoose  for the usual Monday night run. It must have been too cold for a lot of hashers who didn’t make it, they missed out on a very pleasant evening.

The run started outside Bargoose’s residence where he proceeded to give instructions on how the run would, although it was a bit disconcerting when he mentioned there were no false trails (Hotty would have been disappointed) it was essential everyone had a torch and to make sure no-one was left on their own at the back of pack as there was going to be an obstacle that may challenge a few of the not so fit runners (ha ha).

The pack headed off down Park street, a quick left and it was on from there.

There was everyone was following trail, as all good hashers do, however the marks seem to have disappeared, so it was a good excuse for everyone to head on back to the on on. Delicious actually went on the run in her Japanese running shoes, only because she got to a point where it was no use heading back. Delicious was also the only one to get into trouble at the obstacle (a drain crossing) however she did have the reliable Mango to give her assistance.

Everyone made it safely back to the on on but had to wait for Bargoose to get back, as he was the only one to follow trail.

Bargoose received his down down without too much complaing ( well for Bargoose anyway). Golly received a down down for blocking the main roundabout at Heaths road and Sugar Shed roads. Unfortunately he was spotted by that intrepid motorcyclist Pensioner who called out “buy a Holden”, the car also caused havoc outside Bunnings, perhaps he should buy a Holden. Raggedy Anne and Mango got a down down for wearing hoodies in the circle after much protest by Raggedy Anne.

Jokes were then told. Flaps told a joke about doing something sexy to a tractor complete with gyrating movements learnt from the educational movies on the internet. It must have been good but I hear Pensioner tried the same moves when he got back home only to get a quick slap, told to behave himself and there would be no pudding for a week.

The song was sung and the nosh came out. Plenty of rice, bread and curried sausages which fill de jaw couldn’t comprehend, however her and Tom had to go home early, as they were on their own for the night, no Wheelie Bin.

On on until next weeks run at flaps’s place at 17 Jarrah Street.

Run Date: 11/6/18
Run #1968
Hare: The Blurrrrrr.
Venue: Cnr Peel & Alfred Sts Mackay
Hashers: 21 

 

The mob drifted into Blurry’s place by about 5.30.  The fire was going, chairs possied, Half a Boat had his piss truck positioned.  Ready to roll.

He hare called the pack to order, and mumbled something about marks, then led the pack onto the road, pointed us in the right direction, and told us to piss off.  Off we went, in anticipation of a challenging task ahead of us.

Some of the infirm, like Flaps and JCF were conspicuous by their absence on the trail.

What a trail?

What trail? A doddle around the block – must have taken him 30 seconds to have planned it and mapped it.  At least it was well marked.

Still, we set out with good heart, and high expectations.  I think there were 21 runners registered, but maybe 8 or 10 actually seemed to be on trail.

At the On Home, some really nice snacks to get the tucker flowing. And Half a Boat had the beer at the right temperature – just right.  Somebody was whingeing that there was no Great Northern. Wimp.

Then the monk calls the circle.

A pretty sorry lot. Down down for the hare, down downs for returning runners, a call for jokes was met with near total silence.  Someone told a goodie, but my memory is so bad that I couldn’t remember it.  A couple of charges, and Golly was waffling on about a V8 meet coming up soon.

V8.  I had one of those in America – a man sized Pontiac Trans Am, 6.6 litres of brute power. Leave this mob here for dead.  Actually, I am tossing up whether I should get a real man sized car – Dodge Viper – V10, 8 litres of brute power.  But where could I take it for a run at 200 plus km/h?

Enough waffling.

No more business, so the monk closed the circle.  MH3 Anthem.

Then the tucker.  Real grouse.  I had double helping.  Onya Blurry and Blo Jo for a great feed.

One more beer then home to beddy byes.

Baagoose

 

Run Date: 4/6/18
Run #1967
Hare: Golly
Venue: Golly and Raggedy Anne’s Ponderosa, Shoal Point
Hashers: 16

 

The usual gaggle of suspects (16 + Donald) gathered at Golly and Raggedy’s ponderosa at Shoal Point, for the Monday night run/walk, on a cool still night. Golly had erected the big tarp across the garage entrance to keep the chill out, and setup the burner in the middle of the area, for a fire to keep us warm after the run. (No Corgy, so the timber for the fire looked adequate) Donald gave us all a wonderful welcome in his usual friendly way, and it was good to see Streaker back at Hash.

After instructions on trail markings, Golly advised us all that he would not be going on the walk, as the trail was marked so well, that he would not be needed, so off we went. A check at the end of Trochus Crt. had us going left and right. The discovery of a baby arrow, and a call of ON ON was heard, that had us heading down a small lane to the beach front esplanade, so off we went. Blo Jo, having been trained by the Sunshine Coast Hash, rubbed out the wrong arrow on the check, so late comers would be able to find the correct way…… I suggested that she may have been a little premature, and guess what….wrong trail, so back we went and tried to rub out the wrong/right trail marker, as not to confuse the late comers.

Down the highway we went towards Bucasia, dodging the evening traffic of people returning home after a day at work. (Wonder what that feels like?) We went left at the roundabout into Seychells Rd. and that’s where things got interesting. On scanning the options at a check, I noticed an arrow heading in the wrong direction, which made me think that the others, who had headed off down a walkway through a park, were on a big loop back, but I could not work out where the trail went from that mark on. Turns out it was a slight brain fade from the Hare (for which he received a charge in the circle later on). We went around and back so many times that in the end were getting giddy, and sadly towards the end, missed an arrow crossing the road to the correct trail. So on we went back down the highway the way we came, and made it back to the Ponderosa.

It turned out to be a good walking trail, with lots of sneaky lanes and walkways that made it interesting. All the poor buggers with bones in their feet and nails in their toes, who stayed at the Ponderosa, and did not walk missed out on a great walk on a very pleasant evening.

Back at the On On, marinated chicken wings and garlic spuds were served, as we gathered around the fire. After a little chit chat, Golly formed the circle and gave himself a drink for being the Hare. Radish received a welcome back drink, along with Half A Boat for not having any hash gear on. He tried in vain to move the blame to his beautiful wife for not bringing his Hash gear, but it was voted unanimously that he was big enough to dress himself, and he should take the drink. Lassie led the pack with a down down song of “Bull shit, bull shit, it all sounds like bullshit to me….” Jokes were told, and the history of how Pensioner became interested in model trains was explained.

Teflon also received a drink for some misdoing that I cannot remember, and don’t believe, caus nothing sticks to Teflon, so it must have been a fabrication. Lastly but far from least, Zorro was dealt a drink for not missing an advertising sign that was removed from his business the previous week. He enjoyed the drink so much, that he left it at Gollies that night, so that he would get another drink at Hash next week.

After the official notices and usual information was dispensed with, the circle was called to an end, with a very very short rendition of the club song (We thought about it but rejected the idea). Golly then put his cook’s hat on, and helped by the wonderful Raggedy, whipped up an excellent feed of tender steak and capsicum/egg burgers, followed by desert of chocky biscuits that Raggedy had baked up that afternoon. (looked almost like Tim Tams).

This story is turning out to be longer than the actual evening, so with that, thanks to Golly and Raggedy for a wonderful evening, and don’t expect anything like that from me next week. Thanks especially to Golly…. Set up the venue, set the trail, ran the circle and cooked the tucker…….great effort.

Next week’s run from Blurries abode on the corner of Peel and Alfred Street. Bring a chair and see you there…..

ON ON……..The Blurrrrrr.

 

Run Date: 28/05/2018
Run No #1966
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 70 Satellite Crescent Mackay Harbour
Hashers:12

 

We all arrived at Zorro yard, a Bakers dozen of runners. To our surprise Mackay Fencing had gone to a lot of trouble for the night by putting a new gate in and a wind break so all us old Farts did not have too far to walk. He brought out the Board room chairs but not the table, thinking one of us would cut HHH into it.

We gathered out in front of new gate and given instructions marked in pink paint, chalk, a piss stop if you had money. So off we set heading towards beach, marks were few and far between, he had us walking a around looking lost not sure where to go, some headed back some tried to make a run out of it but went back to the PISS.

Nibbles were served crackers and tuna dip boiled spuds which went well with the tuna dip.

Circle called by Monkey usual down downs – hare, New runner Leanne Who has just scored a fulltime job DT had it for her with Beer Tap. Circle closed. Food brought out Rissoles some with a bight to them some mild for the pussies very nice not many left over for smoko next day.
It was suggested that no one was to go home until esky was empty, but we would still be there all night. Great night, great food, good company, well done Zorro and Matches.

GOLLY.

PS see you next week will be no sand hills.

Run Date: 14/05/2018
Run No: #1965
Hare: Drip Tray & Knicka
Venue: 17 Fairmeadow Drive Mt Pleasant 
Hashers: ?

 

Run was from a new location in Fairmeadow drive Mt P. Knicka sent the mob off round the back of the old bunnings building

Then right up Malcomson Street towards Mt P Tavern, I sort of got side tracked there on.

Back to DT new abode with a sparkling pool which looked so inviting, but I’m thinking water temp would have been warmer that the outside temp

Along with the chill factor this scribe decided on giving a quick dip for another time.

Pumpkin soup [take 2] was inhaled by the returning tribe. What happened to Pumpkin soup No 1? 

Down downs to ??? don’t remember other than 1 to Tonguer for over achieving and bring MH3 into the news

Next week run from MF at the Harbour, bring a chair and mozzie fuck off.

Good luck to the hashers heading to FIJI this week, is the cannibals over there still?

The GM will make a guests appearance back in Mackay next week so special TGIF drinks somewhere? coming up

With the much-missed GM. Has this GM missed more runs than Knot head when he was GM?

Attached is a couple jokes for you wine toting people

On on 

Zorro

Run Date: 14/05/2018
Run No: #1964
Hare: Tounger
Venue: 12 Hill End Road Glenella
Hashers: 23

 

The night started off with 23 intrepid walkers. We walked up hill and down dale. As hard as it was for some, congrats must go to wheelie for sticking at it through hills, grass and water obstacles! We got back to a feast of tonguas pizza varieties. It was hard to beat the rush but I’m sure everyone went home full as a goog. The circle had some undeserving down downs where apparently being on back order is a no go. The jokes were on the poor side, so a big effort is required for next weeks joke. All in all a great night was had by all and especially for Golly who won the raffle. Next weeks run is at DT’s 17 Fairmeadow Drive Mount P. Park at the back of the old Bunnings and walk down the path it’s the house next to the park! See you all there.

On On
Beer Tap

Run Date: 07/05/2018
Run No #1963
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove
Hashers: 13

 

Hash Trash….. Delicious, run # 1963, or 4, or was it 2…..

13 Intrepid Hashers turned out to brave the tumultuous weather that only a Delicious run could produce….. and because of this 5 slackers decided to stay right there under cover, and avoid the expected downpour. The remaining brave 8 listened briefly whilst Delicious waffled on about chalk n flour n checks n shit….. until we’d heard enough and headed off, leaving her still waffling.

Arrows led us along every drain in Anderfield, until we reached a smallish housing estate filled with smallish houses, in the wilds of Beaconsgrove, and there, plonked in the middle of it all, was delicious herself, sitting in the back of her wagon, surrounded by port n lemonade and a big tin of chocolates. A slurp and a chomp, and off we set again, admiring the sights in the dark, and eagerly awaiting the deluge, which, amazingly, never came. Finally found an O.H. so O.H. we went, where we found previously mentioned slackers busily slurping away. Daffodil proved that having half an arm cut off, and half a leg skin grafted, didn’t stop him from imbibing, hospitals please note: immediate consumption of piss after surgery is highly regarded.

Out came the Hash spuds, as much shit about the Keppel weekend was spread, until the Monk, having just rolled in from Rocky, called the circle. First order was to present a down-down to Rhonda and Helen……yes, we were all confused about the newcomers, but….. turns out it was Paw Paw and Mango using real names! Delicious was next, for setting such an arduous trail, and she got another, but I can’t remember what for. Mango was also called forward again, but I can’t remember why. I also got some free piss, but can’t remember why, Knothead told a woeful tale, which earned him a down-down, then awarded himself another, for being the birthday boy. Several other things happened, but I can’t remember what, then I was asked to write this report, but I can’t remember why.

Finally the circle closed after a ridiculous attempt at the hash song . And we settled in to the beer, whilst Delicious disappeared into the kitchen to rustle up some hash grub. Which turned out to be a blast from the past….. Hash sausages in bread!! Yay!! Ruined, unfortunately, by the addition of green and red salad.

More banter and bullshit, then Screw and Fork decided they had to go to bed, after being awake for 3 days at Keppel. This set the scene and the rest of us drifted off, leaving Delicious to clean up the mess. Which is only fair.

Tonguer forgot to come this week, but we’re all going to his place next week. Hope he remembers to light the pizza oven.

ONON
Pensioner.

 

Run Date: 30/04/18
Run No #1962
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: 8 Martin Street North Mackay
Hashers: 24

 

Obviously with the anticipation of many courses of Chinese food on offer as hash nosh, it was not surprising that the Hashers came out of the wood work for this run…..

We gathered amongst the swarm of midgies at the boat moored behind 8 Martin Street amongst the mangroves, waiting for Half a Boat to send the walkers on their way.

The rest of us stayed behind to try and get all the shit and chairs up to the top deck of the boat, wondering what happened to the bloody gangplank!!!!

A balmy night with a light breeze, kept the little bities away, with a waning full moon in the night sky, what a glorious location for some fun and feasting.  Once all were safely on board, a serving of crab bisque in cob loaves and spring rolls were offered as a teaser before the call of form a circle.

The hare was toasted, and also charged for over achieving by his ice making skills in the esky (see picture below).  Mango (with the help of McFanny) gave the run report, saying it was well marked and an enjoyable walk.  Jokes were told by Blo Jo, Tonguer and Prick.

Streaker was charged for shitting on her shoe, and then trying to cover it up by putting mud on the other one.  Flaps as a returning runner, and his upcoming 70^th Birthday this Saturday.

JCF confirmed after spending many sleepless nights, he had sent in his resignation, to be effective from the 8th May.    However, with a lot of afterthought and persuasion he has decided to rescind his resignation, which was motioned by Pensioner and seconded by Golly. He has also asked that the Club work together as a team and to not participate in anymore fighting.

Executive lunch Malaysia House, no wait they don’t open on Tuesdays, so BNW Asian it is then.   TGIF will be on Great Keppel Island for all those attending Cutlery’s 1000th Run.

Next week’s run is from my place 117 Tropical Ave, so probably better bring umbrellas?

Finally, the song was sung, and the circle closed. Then the promised glorious food was served, and Annie most certainly did not disappoint.  Chinese Chicken and rice, beef strips, chicken stir fry, coca cola chicken, Singapore noodles, fried milk and fried bananas.  I think we had to roll most people of the boat to leave, a big thank you to Half a Boat and Annie for their hospitality.  I think it might have to be back to traditional hash snags and bread next week, to bring you all back to reality

 

.

On On to the Island

Delicious 

Run Date: 23rd April 2018
Run No #1961
Hare: Nicka Licka
Venue: Unit 6, 16 Dolby Court North Mackay
Hashers: 20ish

 

Quite a number of eager Hashers assembled at Knicka’s abode,can’t remember exactly how many, DGAS.

Tonguer was remarkably early, so off we all trotted at 6:00 pm, right on time.

The trail lead off towards the Goose Ponds and along the pathway beside the ponds, and circled up Norris road and back to Prick’s favourite haunt for a quick piss-stop at the BBQ area, before returning home to the final piss-stop back at Knicka’s place, for nibblies and a cold bevie from the esky.

After Hash-cash collected his “NOTES ONLY” dues for the run, Zorro inadvertently upset our returning runners, Fork n Screw, by invoking the new “No Coin Rule” which unfortunately sent Fork n Screw off in a huff? Not sure why that happened, but???

Anyway! The circle was called, and the usual pointless charges were handed out for returning runner, Runny Poo, Cess Pool got one for paying too much for a beer at the Hash bowls tournament, and Tonguer got one for over acheiving by his timely arrival. What th fuxa tom and Fill De Jaw for failing to supply an impromptue joke on the spot, And there maybe a few more for which I can’t remember the exact reasons.

Three Hashers received a present for achieving their milestone runs, namely Teflon and myself for 200, and Tarboy for an amazing 500 runs attended, well done for that, good thing someone keeps count, Hey

             

 

 

After all the song n dance, we all enjoyed a very delicious, (not Delicious) hashnosh of Knicka’s curry chicken stew with special rice to boot, that went down a treat, thanks Knicka.

I think next weeks run is at Half a Boat’s boat, but it was not known were the meeting point will be,

But I’m sure that the Monk will soon find that out, and relay that to the masses in time.

That’s all from this stand-in run reporter,

On On 
Viagra.