Run Date: 16th April 2018
Run No #1960
Hare: Wheelie & Fill De Jaw
Venue: 21 Spinnaker Way Royal Sands Bucasia
Hashers: 19

 

19 curious runners turned up to see what sort of run Willie was going to set for us, but once the run started it soon became obvious that Fill De Jaw ( a secret marathon

runner ) was responsible. It was an unusual run, because all those who went on the shorter trail got back much later than the pack that took the longer one. There was a distinct smell of short cutting in the air when the 7 trail followers finally made it back. I expected banter from the short cutters but, No, the main topic of conversation from the ladies was about Fill De Jaws partner Tom. There was sighing and panting none of which could be contributed to the exercise they did on the run,

    

There were the usual snacks and slurping of  beverages before a large gentleman dressed in a brown tent swept through our congregation and ordered us to line up in a straight circle Huh ???  After the usual confusion and minor defiance we got down to nights agenda. Drinks were handed out to the hairs, Tom, a Airlie import who didn’t drink, Beer tap who did but no hash attire, Golly for 300 weeks attendances (runs??) a few others but I was busy talking by then and cannot remember. Only kidding, Cody was called out and ordered onto his knees in front of the Monk. “Shudder”. But decorum was maintained and the naming ceremony proceeded. Henceforth he is now known as “Icing” After a few bad and good jokes a few snippets of information the hash song was butchered and the circle closed.

 

“FOOD”  After some sidelong glances and a few questions, it was established that it wasn’t frog’s legs or snail’s so the seagulls swarmed in to beautiful meat dish cooked in buckets of red wine  Hic  Very Nice.   Not long after that the exodus started but with a different twist, this time they had to negotiate some very erratic dart throwers. I don’t think anyone was hurt but that was by good luck not good management.

 

On on

Nicka

Run Date: 9th April 2018
Run No #1959
Hare: Hooker & JCF
Venue: 4 Pharlap Parade Ooralea
Hashers: 26

 

No run report for this week. 

Run Date: 2nd April 2018
Run No #1958
Hare: PaWombat
Venue: 8 Hokins Crt Glenella
Hashers: 11

With many hashers full of chocolate and candy eggs and probably many alcoholic beverages too, the expectation was that almost every member of MH3 would attend run 1958 at Wombats abode.

At 605pm ten eager, committed and enthusiastic hashers set off on a “ladies run” as it was known because yours truly set it in pink tape. True to my trickster form we passed the Sports Club and ventured on up the hills of Glenella. Threw a left onto the highway at which time Pensioner laughed and said wouldn’t it be funny if a B Double came screaming along and soaked us all in his spray. Well sure as shit and just as Pensioner giggled his last word before screaming Kenworth!! Yep we got B Doubled. Heading back to Wombats we noticed water under foot as we followed the park trail next to the creek. So much fun was had on that trail I have been invited to set another next week.

Back at Wombats burrow, all 11 of us were treated to hors d’oeuvres and drinks in the sitting room prior to the main course. Dinner was delayed by a keyhole looking circle and everyone in attendance was charged. Terrible and fantastic jokes were told but the topic on everyone’s lips was, ”what a fantastic trail t’was this evening.”

With not too much to say I closed the circle and we ate food. Lots and lots of it too. Well done Wombat and well done team Iris no fear in us hahahaha.

Until next week everyone enjoy your week and don’t forget to eat your vegetables.

 On On 

JCF

 

Run Date: 26 March 2018
Run No #1957
Hare: Paw Paw with help from Pensch
Venue: 44 Jarrah St Andergrove
Hashers: 18

18 runners came along to 44 Jarrah St. The run was made with messages in envelopes. One new runner was welcomed. The run went sloppy and muddy. We all enjoyed HASH meal especially the sweets.

On On
Wombat

 

Run Date: 19^th March 2018
Run No #1956
Hare: Teflon (with assistance from Golly)
Venue: 37 Mango Avenue, Eimeo
Hashers: 17

 

We all gathered under Teflon’s abode, dribbling shit as usual, waiting for the obligatory 6:00pm start. However, without the late arrival of Tonguer, we seemed to lose track of time. About 6:08pm as the sky’s opened up and sent it down, that was when the mad scramble for umbrellas and the rush to get under way began. 

After all of Golly’s hard work in the stinking hot heat of the afternoon setting the trail, he seemed to have a heat stroke moment, and forgot where he set the trail from.  Everyone gathered out the front on the road, and then we were all guided back under the house and out towards the foreshore to stand forlornly on the beach, looking more like a funeral was taking place, than an anticipated run in the rain.

This is where yours truly left them to it, but I am sure with the lack of remaining marks to follow, they all just took a stroll around the block, looking more like a bunch of Mary Poppin’s rather than a running club, and promptly returned to the Hash Esky.  Tarzan seemed to be the only one too tough for an umbrella and arrived back as wet as a shag, followed by an impromptu strip and a dry shirt. Where the Mackay Fencing shirt came from I don’t know, maybe Zorro is hoping for a new fencing contractor once Tar Boy retires in two weeks?

Meanwhile Teflon was offering around pappadums, which tasted like they had been offered up by the sea a week earlier and dried for our enjoyment. Luckily Streaker saved the day with a big bag of Potato Chips. The nibbles improved after that with Adrian (Boom N Bust & Teflon’s Son) also known as Spotto, set to work cooking the potato wedges on the BBQ, served with sweet chilli and sour cream, now you have it happening.

Due to the absence of our glorious Monk, something about growing wings on his feet for next week. Our illustrious Monkee Golly, got to stand tall and run the circle for a change. With the assistance of Ex Monk Pensioner, who only tried to take over a couple of times…

Jokes were told, charges laid, one for Corgi, but I don’t remember why? We welcomed visiting Hasher Moaning Lisa and his Virgin Bride to Be Cassie, and another welcome down down for Spotto.  Executive Lunch was decided as Singapore Sam’s.  Please bring a little extra raffle money next week, as we will be selling tickets in a Meat Voucher, to raise a little extra funds for the two Away Runs we have coming up in October & January.

Hash Song sung, circle closed.

Teflon, Hooker and Raggedy Ann all helped to serve up curried savoury mince, to the starving horde, which was very yummy. Even McFanny put in a late appearance, to aid support.  Obviously, she sensibly waited for the rain to stop, so she didn’t risk shrinking anymore!

A wet night, but very enjoyable. 

On On

Delicious

Run Date: 12^th March 2018
Run No #1955
Hare: Knothead
Venue: 10 The Barons Drive Andergrove
Hashers: 22

 

I arrived at Knotheads where the Pack had dispersed, some were already back keeping Delicious company who had taken her position for the Night as Hash Cash. A fire already stoked all ready to go in the back corner. Talk about a staggered appearance of the Hashers, the last ones being Piccolo and Knicka at 7.40pm where had they been? Was anyone worried? Piccolo said we can only presume, and presume we did, at Who Hasn’t Paid and Breast Strokes for the Hash Piss stop, gasbagging.

Circle was called, and the jokes started with Knothead about the guy who lived in a grass house. Well it went on and on and on (how unusual). Charges for a few Hashers who had made their own Circle within the circle and one for Corgie for being left out on her own from the circle within the circle. The best charge of all was to Raggedy Ann and Golly for turning Great-grandparents during the week.

Nosh was served of frankfurts with fried onion, bacon bits and condiments to complement the hot dogs. Everyone loves a hot dog! If we didn’t clear the lot up, then the huge dog/horse certainly did.

A good night was had by all.

Next week is at 37 Mango Ave Eimeo. Limited parking so for those that have been here before, please use the house across the road as no-one lives there still.

 

On On
Teflon

Run Date: 5^th March 2018
Run No #1954
Hare: Drover’s Dog
Venue: 16A Gold Street, East Mackay
Hashers: 22   

 

It was good to see returning runner, Drovers Dog getting involved again after many years in Mackay Hash. We gathered in front of Drovers Dog’s place while he gave instructions for the run. Starting out north along Gold St onto Goldsmith St where we found an on back when Drover’s Dog and his 2 dogs pointed us in the right direction N along Goldsmith St. Zorro said he had to see a man about a dog at Langfords Hotel and soon after while I was checking trail with JCF, he said he needed to be at the Met and followed Zorro along Gordon St, I rejoined the pack in Queens Park. Continuing onto Shakespeare St and along Hauge St where we followed the hare past an arrow to the left ( I think he felt sorry for us walkers ) and onto the walkway and park at the end of Iluka Dr where the trail went across the grass. At this point Fill De Jaw and Wheelie continued along the pathway and we didn’t see them again until we got home. A short walk across the grass to the Piss Stop and on home. As we arrived home, Tazan, a late cumer, pulled up on his push bike, everybody was accounted for except Nicker who became a little lose but eventually turned up ok.

The circle started with the hare having his down down and a drink for Gavin, a virgin runner who was welcomed to the group. Jokes were told, Pensioner came up with a Viagra joke which went over well while Streaker was selected to tell a joke but didn’t have one so Zorro volunteered a joke but that didn’t let her off the hook and received her down down. Lassie got a down down for being a returning runner. It was noted that after the run Mango was talking on her phone at her car in the street and when finished walked into the back yard next door to where we were gathered, she promptly retreated and joined the group, for this she received a down down. JCF and Zorro were charged with being sooks and not following trail, instead going to the pub.

Hash Nosh was served, a big pot of hot mince curry and a smaller pot of not so hot mince curry, everybody enjoyed their fill. By 9 o’clock most hashers were packed up and heading home. Thanks Drovers Dog for a good night and hope to see you on more runs in the future.

OnOn
Daffodil.

Run Date: 26 February 2018
Run No #1952
Hares: Corgie & Daffodil 
Venue:  Mackay Information Centre 320 Nebo Road Mackay
Hashers: 19

 

 

Police Run Report

Police link 131444

QP 1800363787

Some dirty rotten mongrel bastards broke into Mackay fencing and stole my Reabok runners

As a result I was given a down down for new shoes .

As such I couldn’t do the whole 14 klm run or whatever Daffodil set

50 mins bullshit , more like 2 hours

Anyway good run , good nosh [so I was told ] good circle and good night

Scroll down for Zorro joke as I don’t have time to write a real report  

The Glesga Mortuary  (The Glasgow Mortuary)

A man who just died is delivered to a Glesga mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in navy. She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a navy suit for the viewing.’
The woman returns the next day. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous navy suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Tam, ‘Whatever the cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’ To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque. ‘Nae charge,’ he says. ‘No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite navy suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly, hen,’ Tam says, ‘it didnae cost nothin. You see, a deed gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive navy suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit insteed, and she said it made nae difference as long as he looked nice.

‘So, I just switched their heids.’

 

Run Date: 19 February 2018
Run No #1952
Hare: Piccolo 
Venue:  82 Grendon Street North Mackay 
Hashers: 21

 

We arrived on time to be warned of the green ants that bite if you were sliding past Half a Boats vehicle. Getting past 6 we all gathered out front but still no Tonguer. Nicker advised the run was set on chalk and flour. A new runner, Julie, had joined us tonight. Hooker and Raggedy Anne welcomed her to the group and looked after her for the run. Down Grendon street after the first on back and around the back of the houses skirting the mangroves and along the levee bank to the Goose Ponds. Nicker encouraged everyone the long way round saying we may be crossing the creek. I noticed there was a large melaleuca  tree which had boards nailed to the trunk leaning across the creek but there were no marks that way thank goodness. The front runners lead the way across the dog park entrance to Malcolmson street when we turned towards home quite a few blocks away. All were making their way home via different streets and even Tonguer who must have followed trail after arriving late. We all were perspiring and glad of the cold beers for there wasn’t much of a breeze and the mozzies were out. Knotthead was really boisterous trying to wear himself out I think after coming off night shift. Piccolo had 4 dips out for the hungry crew and all was scraped clean. 

JCF called the circle to hear the run report from Pensioner, Raggedy Anne and Mango. Nicker and Piccolo took their down downs for the run and JCF called for jokes and charges. Bagoose charged me for reading his joke sheets and asked if I’d had remembered one. I enjoyed the reading but could remember only parts. Paw Paw and DT were asked for the nominated joke but didn’t have one either. We were all charged. Knothead told his joke which was too long and was charged along with Bagoose. Zorro charged Teflon for checking the books and getting the run numbers wrong I think. Teflon took her down down. Our new runner, Julie, took her welcome drink and then Hash Nosh was ready. A beautiful lasagne made by Piccolo’s mum with extra pasta and bread and butter.  Everyone had their fill but Piccolo had made two large bowls of fruit salad for desert. We were spoilt.  An enjoyable night again and thanks to Piccolo, Nicker and Brian cooking the pasta.

 

On on

Corgie

Run Date: 12 February 2018
Run No #1951
Hares: Prick
Venue:  5/1 Kenzey Street, North Sodor (Mackay)
Hashers: 25 + Donny

 

All gathered on a lovely evening at Prick’s Place and Prick had gone to ALL the trouble of setting not just 1 run, but 3 to cater for all levels of mobility. One for the runners, one for the walkers and one for the lazy bastards which was literally over the road to the North Mackay Bowls Club. Report on the Run was a ‘good one’

On our return the pot of potatoes mixed with herbs & butter was the entrée. Always hits the spot.

Circle called..we welcomed a virgin runner Conal, who had been captured by 2 x cougars on the previous Saturday night who lured him into the world of Hashers. Will he forgive us or thank us?

Lots going on in the circle with down downs for returning runners DT & Knothead. Jokes were flowing and Tonguer should have got an overachiever award for remembering his long one. We were once again exposed to Knotheads’s  jokes. Ohh noo! Overachiever award to JCF for the best run report ever written which somehow was reversed to me, not sure how that happened? By the way this is how you spell ‘grammatical’. Snot had a few down downs for the unforgivable Hat in the circle AND no Hash attire. Wombat also had a down down for buying her brand-new bike for the Bike Hash on Saturday but then didn’t get to use it! (she said she was running late, excuses, excuses)

The down down were a little different tasting too, what was in them Golly? A potent concoction of both cider and beer, now that’s creative!

Prick fired up the Weber and just about asphyxiated the pack. Was he trying to get rid of us or the mosquitoes? Or set fire to Delicious’s hair?

We did end up with flame-grilled bangers and caramelized onions (or that is what Prick was calling them anyway) – went down well with the hungry hoards gathering around. Thank God, he had wholemeal bread, or I don’t think Streaker would have coped.. A great Monday night Hash night.

On On Teflon

Streaker & Teflon aren’t we a lovely pair?