Run Date: 5th February 2018
Run No #1950
Hares: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Court 
Hashers: 23 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Run Report for Golly and Raggety Ann from their lovely home at Slade Shoal Point.  

It was a hot sunny day on the island of Sodor and Thomas aka Golly, set off with all the other locos (hashers) and carriages (more hashers) from the shed. Everyone of course was delayed a little because Grundfather loco (Tounger) was late as he was piston broke. As they approached the first switch (check), The Fat Controller (JCF) commented to Thomas that the refuelling truck (Half a Boat) had not arrived. Thomas barked at the Fat Controller saying if all the locos get back from the route (trail) and they have no fuel (piss) that the locos would flog Thomas and his good friends (Mismanagment) until they were within an inch of their lives.

The Fat Controller decided to go back to the station and call the refuelling truck and find out what was happening (Half a Boat where the F$#k are you! These hashers are gunna kill us if you don’t turn up with all the piss!!!!!!) The refuelling truck replied it’s all good I am on my way now I won’t be long I promise. The Fat Controller breathed a sigh of relief and disappointment, as he knew no one would be flogged today.

Except of course Thomas who planned on shunting Clarabel (Raggety Ann) some time later that night. 

 

All of a sudden and out of nowhere, some of the locos started to appear and they looked like they wanted refuelling now, much to the amazement of Thomas and the Fat Controller who were still waiting on the refuelling truck. All of a sudden a gay toot toot was heard and the refuelling truck pulled into the station to refuel the locos.

With this done a performance review (circle) was held and some naughty engines including Thomas and Clarabel for making the railway line, returning engines,

Arthur (Who hasn’t Paid) and Molly (Breatstroke), Neville (Blurry) for something, Salty (Pensioner) and possible some others got lubrication forced down their intake manifolds whilst the other engines sang with glee. Some extremely funny jokes were told and if you missed them come along and hear them again at another performance review soon. Before long attention was drawn to a special refuelling session (Executive Lunch) which was to occur at Harrup Park.

 

 

 

Next week’s adventure will be from Merlin’s (Prick’s) station at 5/1 Kenzey Street, North Sodor (Mackay) and all Thomas’ friends want to see you there. With that done and everyone wanting to restock their boilers with coal (fantastic hash nosh made by Clarabel), the locos tooted their horns and sung the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song (MH3 club song) and ended the performance review. Everyone re-stoked their boilers and talked about magical fantasy things before heading back to the shunting shed but that’s another story and it can’t be told in this time slot right Thomas?  

Until next week this has been The Fat Controller standing in for Merlin who magically disappeared tonight. 

ON ON

Run Date: 29th January 2018
Run No #1949
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: 4 Evans Ave, North Mackay 
Hashers: 24

 

24 Hashers arrived at Tarzans house for his run,

We all headed off towards the goose ponds

Some of the pack went different directions, didn’t miss the piss stop though,

Golly spotted the car and hoped it was the right one as he attempted to open the boot,

Very nice brew it was,

When everyone arrived home we were served with dips and crackers,

Circle was called down down for Hare Tarzan, one for Snot who is back for a short visit,

And returning runner U,Turn.

Jokes were told, more down downs, circle closed,

Hash nosh served, heaps of tasty spaghetti,

Thanks Tarzan for a great night

ON ON

Raggedy Ann

 

See you all at our house, beautiful shoal point.

 

 

Run Date: 22nd January 2018
Run No #1948
Hare: Streaker
Venue: 5/3 Hunter Street West Mackay
Hashers: Heaps 30

 

Tarzan turned up for the first time in 6 weeks (holidaying of course) to find a massive hash crowd of  30 eager runners champing at the bit to sample another of  Hotties Marathons.Well it wasn’t long b 4 lots dropped off the gruelling pace & made their way back to Streakers.Some battled on for at least 1 hr 15 mins then the true hashers rocked up about 7.30. At least Half  a Boat had the esky well stocked. It was under a lot of pressure come stumps. The circle brought the usual hash jokes, Down Downs & crap about not much. Tarzan said he won some obscure Down  Down comp on New Years Eve in Vietnam!!!!!, Streaker skolled for Hare, Tarzan for stealing the Hares drink & pulling weird faces after the first sip. A few others for the usual talking in the circle & Skipper  & McFanny for returning runners. Nosh was served up with loads of Corn meat, potatoes ,bread, condiments etc. 7 was eagerly gobbled up by the pack. A few things coming up were discussed, Full moon Run on Sat 27 Jan at Flaps & night out at Methira Rest, 3 Feb & Diamonds & Pearls Run later in the Year.Then I buggered off home.See Ya next week.

ON ON The Tarboy 

Run Date: 15th January 2018
Run No #1947
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Ram Chandra Park
49 Pacific Esplanade, Lamberts Beach
Hashers: 12 brave ones

 

12 Brave Hashers turned up on Monday night, (would have been 14 only Willie Bin and  ? De Jour decided it was too windy and wild, so they pissed off) at Ram Chandra Park, on the foreshore of Lamberts Beach. Blowing a F#$%@ing gale and getting sand blasted, we decided to get moving. Viagra explained that the run was set on surveyors tape, and would start from the lookout on top of the hill. Up the hill we went, some via the road and most up the side of the hill on the dirt track. After admiring the windy but splendid view, we set out to find trail. Corgy and returning Cumalot found the first tape, and off we went. A pleasant but steamy walk around the environs of Lamberts beach and back via the Seabreeze Tavern, (no piss stop) saw the run out of the way.

Back at the start point, the non-walkers and SCB’s had already pissed off, so with a beer in hand we jumped into our vehicles and went around to the mouth of McReady Creek, opposite Snot’s house, where the wind was not as bad, but the f-ing mozzies were still hungry. Dips and crackers were laid out for the snacking Hashers, then Golly ran the circle, as our illustrious monk was absent, and down downs were dished out, as well as one for returning runner, Cumalot. Golly even gave himself one for his birthday the following day, after no one charged him for same. Jokes were told, important items discussed and a vote to pass on the club song was successful.

Viagra then set up the food and we attacked. Burgers with patties and fresh salad items were on the menu, and as not many were present, seconds were encouraged. Chocolate finger biscuits were for desert. Idle chit chat and steady drinking was the go, until Zorro had decided that he had had enough, and decided to depart. Alas, his beer fridge on the back seat had drained the battery, and Half a boat had to come to the rescue with a jump start. (sounds like a serious drinker-beer fridge on the back seat)

Eventually we all decided that it was time to go home, so off we drifted. A good night despite the weather.

Next weeks run will be from Streakers house, west mackay. C U all there.

The Blurrrrrr.

 

Run Date: 8th January 2018
Run No #1946
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Drive Rural View
Hashers: ?

Well… Wot a great run. Pensioner’s old idea of sequensional  envelopes of run instruction has worked well yet again. The mob were handed numbered envelopes at the pre-start, and off we all trotted, over hill and down dale, through the back blocks of Rural View. Fil De Jaw and Weelie kept pace with everyone, even across the paddocks. Much to some hashers annoyance that Pensioner happily let poor Fill De Jaw push the wheelchair all the way down a steep 4WD track to a locked gate, only to be sent backtrack back up the steep track to where we started. 

Fortunately to Wheelie’s credit, he was happy to get out of his chariot, and he walked all the way back up the hill, with the aid of two beautiful assistants, and Blurry did the good deed and pushed the empty chair back up hill  to civilization.

Back at Pensioner’s place, we were all entertained during drinks, with Sweetmeat hacking into the rear garden, and bits of plants flying everywhere, and then did the right thing by taking all the scraps away free of charge, much to Shocker’s dismay, as-to how he was going  to fit in the drivers seat, to drive home in the poor old D-Max

Then during the circle, Fill de Jaw copped a speeding fine down-down, for pushing the chair wheelie fast down one of the back roads.

The circle went well with the usual stale jokes, and the equally meaningless down-downs, which all got a good laugh.

Mango was up to her usual, excellent form with her glorious hash tucker, which went down a treat, God we’re spoilt sometimes, with quality hash food like that.

A BIG well done to Pensioner and Mango, for an excellent shitty trail and well organised run overall, that will be hard to beat.

Next weeks run will be at Lamberts Beach, at the Ram Chandra reserve. Half way down the beach strip.

ON ON Viagra.

 

 

 

Run Date: 1st January 2018
Run No #1945
Hare: Fork & Screw
Venue: 80A Mapleton Drive Andergrove 
Hashers: 20 or so

A merry band of hashers , around 20 or so, journeyed out into the blistering heat and violent windstorm of a typical Andergrove summer’s day.
Gathering strength from informal chit-chat, we hoped that Screw wasn’t silly enough to set a run in such energy-sapping conditions. But alas, a cry of OnOn saw us assembled at the gutter, where  Screw regaled us with tales of the epic trek he set , we just had to get past 2, that’s 2, checks at the start! Confusion reigned as hashers wandered about in several directions, no mean feat, as the route could only be left or right. One pack went north, one went south….. the northerly group being almost run down by an old bloke in a decrepit Landrover Something. Turned out to be a late-arriving (as usual) Tonguer, who wisely abandoned said vehicle to join the fray. About then a cry of OnBack meant he hadn’t gained a shortcut at all, but had to hurry along to rejoin the southerly mob. Down near the end of Maple Dve the trail turned left, or was it right, but I was accosted by the sight of 2 elderly rotund hashers puffing heavily in the heatwave. They obviously needed immediate re-hydrating, so I did the only decent thing and escorted said rotunds back to the shelter of the HashHouse and some cool life-giving ale.  Some time later, about 3 cans worth, the rest of the mob began trickling back in, showing various degrees of sweat-soaked exhaustion. Good on em!
Bullshit prevailed as beers was drunk, and then the Monkee called the circle to order. Charges were doled out to Mango for sitting under a rather large penile bottle opener, which almost caused her to be renamed Cockhead. Tonguer got one for something…. probably to do with refusing to finish Shocker’s  house….. and come to think of it Shocker got one too, for not having a joke ready. Yours truly was charged with short-cutting, a blatant lie, as I was helping the rotund ones in a medical emergency. That didn’t bother the rotund Monk (see the connection there) administering a down-down,  and I even had to sing my own cunt of a song. Jokes were offered by Blurry, Tonguer, The Monk  and myself. Tuesday’s Executive Lunch was set down for the Shamrock pub, and 13 of us showed up, almost as many as last night’s turnout! TGIF was set for Langford’s pub, where the rotund Flaps (get the other connection) is hoping to win 32 cartons of piss, almost enough for a month’s supply! The song was sung with much abandon, as in most abandoned the singing, even the Monk who stuck his nose in his phone (in the circle!!) and got away with it.
Out came the nosh, which was Fork’s spread  of ham and salad and rolls n stuff, very Christmassy.
We all stuffed our gobs, drank more piss, then pissed off home leaving a mess behind.
Next week is at the abode of Pensioner & Mango, 12 Douglas Cres Rural View, where it’s much cooler. And flatter.
See yez there……
OnOn Pensch
 

 

Run Date: 25th December 2017 
Run No #1944
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Venue: 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia
Hashers: 7

 

7 intrepid hashers turned out for yet another Christmas day hash run, continuing the age old tradition of running on every Monday of the year, Tonto & Lassie had set a ball grabber of a run, through the tree lined streets of Bucasia, then home to a post run cobb loaf, washed down with the nectar of the gods drinkys, circle was called and run by well-known monk & monkey, down downs given to the hares and all others who turned out for a great gathering, jokes told, charges given and Christmas carols sung, WHP, Screw and Fork were seen splashing in Tonto & Lassie’s newly installed pool, more drinkys drank and bullshit told, until we all  headed off home, leaving the hosts to clean up, and take a skinny dip in their pool.

Executive lunch this week: where ever it was!

TGIF drinks: where ever you feel like.

Next week’s run: Screw & Forks abode, 80A Maple Dr, Andergrove.

On On & Happy New Year

 

Run Date: 18th December 2017
Run No #1943
Hare: Prick
Venue: 5/1 Kenzey Street North Mackay 
Hashers: 28

10 past 6 we called are we? No Tonguer as yet, but Shocker and Sweet Meat said he was coming when we met them at the entrance to Prick’s place. All out the front Prick advised there were three runs, one for the runners, one for the walkers and one for Delicious. Happy about this Delicious gave him the finger. By this time Tonguer was pulling up and joining the pack.

Off following arrows down Kenzey street towards the river but before the main road Sweet Meat turned back and we checked the other way and found trail to the Goose Ponds walk ways. Around the pathways we found trail and on backs as far as Willets road. Half a Boat said his leg was paining as we jogged a little so when we found the on home we headed back. A brown skinny dog was eyeing off the ducks the other side. Lucky for them it was a swim for the dog to chase them. Sweet Meat passed us looking for more trail past the on home.

Prick had dips and bickies out ready. We were home early for Prick set us a shorter run than usual I thought or we may have missed a bit he said. Everyone enjoyed catching up what they were doing for Christmas.

Circle called, JCF and Golly took control calling for jokes and charges. Prick had two down downs for his special run 1942 and Blurry said he may have one coming up too. Flaps told a joke which was enjoyed by all. It went something like whats the cheapest cut of meat. 2 balls from under a buck.

JCF, Blurry and Wheelie Bin volunteered their jokes which kept us all smiling. A down down for Shocker and Sweet Meat who haven’t been for a while due to building their new nest. Zoro was next for not going to the Bowls Club as planned on the run due the GM didn’t have cash on him and Hash Cash didn’t either was Zoro’s excuse.  

Announcements were made for next weeks run on Christmas Day at Lassies and Tontos BYO drinks and Executive Lunch at Flaps – Asian Cuisine. The Hash song was sung and we relaxed for the night in the cool air. Prick brought out hot pies, sauces and chutneys which were enjoyed by all except for Sweet Meat not one of her favourites. All content with fodder and watered and well wishes for Christmas the mob headed for their favourite sleeping spots.

 

Thanks Prick for our special Run 1942 and your special day.

 

On On & Ho Ho Ho , Merry Christmas to Every Body

 

Run Date: 11th December 2017
Run No #1942
Hare: Radish & Paw Paw
Venue: Willetts Road Park 
Hashers: 26

 

26 runners gathered for the fray. Weather fine. Gooseponds gleaming. Path in pristine condition thanks to our Hash Curator. Water hyacinth in full bloom . An air of bonhomie in the air with the advent of the religious and festive season. 

Away along the Gooseponds heading West for about a kilometre. A loop around the Windmill motel and then back to the Goosies. A leisurely stroll for one kilometre East to the Park. All in all a superb run but still not acceptable to Delic. 

Hash circle ok. Jokes very ordinary. Charges ok. Hash song getting better. Practice does make for improvement if not perfection.

The best was yet to come.  A variety of gourmet dips, followed by a feast of rissoles, snags and salad;  probably the Hash feed of the year. And a few little drinkies!

Then all the happy little Vegemites were tired and went home to Mummy.

 

On On.  Prick

 

Run Date: 4^th December, 2017
Run No #1941
Hare: Zorro
Venue:   70 Satellite Crescent, Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 28

 

Zorro’s Run was from Mackay Fencing at the Harbour. The Hare assembled the pack and added a touch of flare with hot pink spray paint on the footpath, then headed them off around the corner.

On there return a couple of trays of hot spuds with lashings of butter were waiting for them and plenty of cold beers.

A total of 28 Hashers gathered around drinking until it was time to call the circle, with a charge for the Hare, followed by another for using half of WHP’s  trail from a couple of weeks ago.  Followed by a few jokes and a few more charges, that I can’t remember.

With Cuntry leaving town for getting himself into some sort of trouble, a new Trail Master was voted on.  Teflon nominated and the position was seconded, as such congratulations to our new Trail  Mistress.

Hash Nosh was a giant pot of bologanise meat sauce, with plenty of spiral pasta and bread and butter, which was very nice.   The sky then opened up and sent the rain pelting down, wetting everything standing in its way.

Radish’s run # 1941 next week it will be at Willetts Road, Mount Pleasant in the park. 

On On

Paw Paw