Run Date: 27th November, 2017
Run No #1940
Hare: JCF
Venue:  John Breen Park North Mackay
Hashers: ?

 

No run report for this week. 

 

22 eager hashers turned out at the Optus Tower to complete the weekly challenge, this time the hares were WHP and his partner in crime Breaststroke. We all stood around with bated breath waiting for 6pm, then 6.05pm and 6.08pm until WHP uttered the words, “Righto you pack of w$#kers, listen up!” something should be inserted here about the directions, chalk, pink surveyors tape and on on that way but I can’t remember what was said because I was too busy talking.

Off we went down, down and down into scrubby territory inhabited by millions of deadly creeping and crawling things where many Mackay Hashers dare not go. As we walked in and out of thousand foot high grass where no man had ever been, well except for WHP who laid lots of pink tape for us to follow. T’was a pleasant walk as we had time to admire the array of orchids and cactus flowers and other exotic plants like grandfathers beard well that’s what greenfinger Blurry called them anyway.

It was not long though before we entered mud, slippery greasy clay in fact. It took all my ballerina skills to gracefully navigate the quagmire but true to form I did it without falling once, twice or three times even. Finally we made it to solid ground and headed quickly back into the scrub for the second leg of the 50km trail. Exiting the mangroves and hitting asphalt was actually a good solid and steading feeling. So it was pretty much on home from there.

Back at base camp, the rehydration process was in full swing so we joined in and settled in for a couple of refreshing Powerades.

Golly called everyone to attention as the circle festivities got underway. WHP got a few for being himself, some charges were made and severe penalties were handed down down. Knothead told some terrible jokes channelling a few hashers so with that the song was sung and the circle closed.

Food was fantastic! Rice, curry and sausages fed the masses as we sat around eating and drinking til the early hours of the morning.

Next week’s run will be from John Breen Park, Malcomson Street, North Mackay so until then, get back to work or whatever it is you do.

On On

JCF

Run Date: 18th November 
Run No #1938
Hares: WHP
Venue:  Buffalo Club 37/39 Victoria St, Mackay
Hashers: 25 ish

CHRISTMAS PARTY

 

Run Date: 13th November, 2017
Run No #1937
Hare: Delicious
Venue:   Harbour Beach
Hashers: 18

 

The night’s  run not many stars, the hare talks to the hashers, yes the weather is not good, no surprises I hear.  You have four Options, 5 km run out on the breakwater and back. 2.5 km to the boat ramp along the foreshore and back along Mulherin Drive enjoy the scenery.  Extreme stamina required for a sand dune run – please take a partner, we can’t guarantee your return. Or a bit of sand blasting and croc spotting on the beach. 

Delicious starts the run as the the live hare for the 2 .5 k m run , and must have spoken with the gods, as the weather is good, we have sun , so we decide to go on the run.

Fill in Monk Golly did a good job in the circle, and the rain stayed away.  The BBQ was lovely and the potato’s were sweet.

 

On On

Half a Boat

Run Date: 6^th November, 2017
Run No #1936
Hare: Jock Strap
Venue:   222 Hansens Road, Te Kowai
Hashers: 24

 

We all meandered in to Jock Strap & Bloomer’s cane farm, with high expectations of a good night, and we weren’t dissapointed.  The Hare assembled the pack and headed them off towards the creek through the cane fields.  Was there a sweeper, as I didn’t see Jisembell from Townsville again after she headed off on the run???  Hopefully not wandering around Te Kowai somewhere, totally lost!!!!

 

First SCB’s on home were Flaps, Blo Jo & Pensioner, closely followed by Hot Rocks, complaining about everyone who didn’t do the run, why would he be surprised by this….  Everyone gathered around the esky and dribbled shit as usual, until it was time to call the circle. 

 

Charges for the Hare Jock Strap (setting the trail) and  Bloomers (Cooking the nosh), and another for Jocky Boy for his 60^th Birthday.  Charges from the run, JCF accepted a down down for something to do with a weight limit on a bridge, and had to let Matches go first! Blurry for not jumping in as the Heath & Safety Officer in this situation. Blo Jo charged Paw Paw for an incorrect email address.  Streaker charged Bloomers for no hash attire.  Then Jock Strap & Daffodil copped one for talking in the circle.  Jokes by Flaps, Blurry, Prick & Tonguer and maybe some others, sorry I can’t read my notes that I wrote in the dark.

 

It was finally revealed why our Monk was dressed in his full regalia tonight?  We were all asked to drop to our knees, and Zorro’s Brother Paul (Alias Scruff) visiting from Wallan Victoria was asked some questions about himself.  Married with 5 kids – “Breeder” or “Catholic”? Builds and repairs caravans for a living, hhhmmm, after much banter he was officially named “Trailer Trash”, by popular consensus.  We also raised our glasses and had a toast to Roots, who passed away 12 months and one week ago.

 

Executive lunch is at the Andergrove Tavern at 12:28pm today (they decided they needed to be there early). Don’t lose to much on the horses, and good luck to those who purchased Melbourne Cup Sweep Tickets from Paw Paw.  TGIF – not decided?  Next week’s run is from the far end BBQ’s adjacent to the Mackay Surf Club, East Point Drive, Mackay Harbour.  Hash song sung, but circle did not close, last minute show of hands required for the Roast & Red night for next Tuesday’s Executive Dinner at The Dispensary at 6:29pm.  Also who will be attending the Christmas Party, which was followed by more whinging by Hot Rocks that it should be on a Monday night.  Circle finally closed.

 

Hash Nosh was very yummy shepherds pie, served in two giant trays, that of course were demolished by the hungry pack, and the plates were licked cleaned by the happy dogs. More bullshit and hash Piss comsumed, and then we all headed home to bed, another enjoyable evening.

 

On On

Delicious

Run Date: 30/10/2017
Run No #1935
Hare: Half A Boat
Venue:   Cremorne
Hashers: 20 something???

 

20 something Hashers predominantly North Siders turned out in the middle of Cremorne, which is the first northern suburb as you cross the bridge you slack arse south siders to enjoy a wonderful evening of Hashing and bullshit. 

Once Tounger arrived at 610pm the hare quickly mustered the crew and said something before pointing off into the distance. Off we trudged all knowing what we left behind. The Hash Piss was top of mind as we quickly set out on the search for Southside Hashers. With some daylight left the pending weather was the topic of discussion amongst the group as we trudged through the city heart looking for what was to be allusive arrows. 

With all finally finding the way back over the bridge to the relative safety of the Northside, we began to consume the well deserved ice cold rewards and chat about everything from nothing to North Korea crisis as if we knew what we were talking about. The crap started flowing so bad that we just had to call a circle. However the Hare forgot to bring plates for the Hash Nosh so he abandoned the chit chat to duck into town and purchase a high quality disposable set of dining plates. 

the circle was finally called, the Hare got a charge for the run and another for leaving a chair behind at last weeks run, Wayne, Rino and Cuntry were charged because they were ugly I think and Virgin Sophia got to tell us her life story before the jokes and serious charges were delivered. Sorry I fell asleep so I can’t remember anything else. 

Executive lunch is at B&N in Sydney Street Markets but because Pensioner wasn’t there no one could remember the correct time. Someone suggested 12.29pm so it was confirmed. 

Next weeks run will be held somewhere but the Trailmaster couldn’t remember so that’s the reason I am rambling on this week. Cuntry will let Blo Jo know and she will inform you all where it will be held. 

Hash Nosh was a hybrid Chinese concoction which Half a Boat created under instruction from his missus who barked orders over the phone like she was Gordon F#$k*&g Ramsey. Turned out okay though as at the time I pissed off no one was ill or screaming in agony. Well done Half a Boat it was all gone so it turned out well mate. 

Have a fantastic week people until next time 

On On

JCF

Run Date: 23rd October, 2017
Run No #1934
Hare: Blurry  & Flaps
Venue:  Blurry & Flaps- Eastern end of Gordon Street at the Beach
Hashers: ?

No Run Report  for this week. 

Run Date: 16th October, 2017
Run No #1933
Hare: Prick 
Venue:   Under the Ron Camm Bridge
Hashers: ?

Under threatening skies, the pack assembled at the start of the Cathy Freeman walking track, under the Ron Camm bridge. After waiting for Corgy and Daffodil, the pack eventually rambled off heading south and east at a check to start the run no less, along the walkway. Prick being the sneaky prick that he is, hid an arrow under a bush to make it look like he was hiding the correct way, which caught half the pack on a false trail. Eventually we all headed south along the Cathy Freeman walking track. Part way to the Base Hospital, we had a scenic stop on the river bank to admire the wonderful night view of the pioneer river reflecting the lights of Mackay. On we went to the Base, where there was another check, but no turning the pack now. Like a herd of cattle that have not had water for three days, they had the scent of the esky in their nostrils, and there was no chance of influencing them with a check in any opposite direction. Eventually on to Hume St. via Streeter Av. We made it back to base.

As a misting rain was falling, it was decided to move the proceedings to a dry spot under the bridge. Here we found a monument to a murdered young lady, and something that resembled a burial site. Not deterred, the old/new monk took charge of the circle. Down downs were given to the Hare, Prick and Tounger for being a naughty boy. Tounger was straight back out again with Viagra for wearing hats in the circle. Mango got a Hashy Birthday drink and song, Cuntry got one also for being late on his first day/run as trail master. Delicious and Piccolo both received a drink for talking in the circle. Blurry got one for some bullshit item and the Monk also received a drink for offering Mango a cup to skull with no amber fluid within.

A couple of jokes were told that raised a laugh, then Tarzan as conductor, rallied the pack in a lively rendition of the club song.

Out came the nosh, hot pies and sauce. At first all we saw was tomato sauce and paper towels, and were thinking that we were going to have a lasagne type dish with layers of paper and sauce. The usual chatter took over and the rain became more serious. Pensioner had to leave early with Mango…..something about having to get home to give her a birthday present?? Eventually we all headed off to home. Thanks to Flaps for saving Blurry and Hot Rocks a wet walk home, by driving them.

Next weeks run.  Eastern end of East Gordon Street, at the car park and BBQ area.

ON ON……….Blurry.

Run Date: 9th October, 2017
Run No #1932
Hare: Committee Run: Who Hasn’t Paid
Venue:   Mackay Bowls Club, Nebo Road
Hashers: 36

 

 Oh what a lovely run!  Out of the Bowls Club, a doddle around the gentrified areas of South Mackay and then on back to the Bowls Club. Pretty absorbing and demanding stuff.  But then the main event- the AGPU.

Never has there been a better organised or well run AGPU. It ran like a well oiled Swiss watch. Superb food of the Cordon Blue tradition. Elegant wines and boutique beers.  Superbly crafted speeches to the ideals of Hash. Genteel conversation. Speeches supporting  all the new club officers who were elected and accepted their new positions. A superbly organised evening to usher in the new Committee.

The new Committee is: ??????????????

Too much fine wine was drunk to remember

The next run is at Club House Number 3. Under the southern end of the Ron Camm bridge.

Cheers. Prick.

 

TGIF: Mackay Bowls Club Nebo Rd, 3.59pm (Happy Hour 4pm till 7pm)

Circle for AGPU as remembered by Glove Box (glad someone was taking notice)

Circle called to order.

Down Down –  for Bruce McLaughlin and Sue for the cooking of Hash Nosh.

Was agreed to cut the committee to 5 – GM, Monk, Hash Cash, Hash Piss & On sec. 

The rest to be non-committee – Haberdashery, Trail Master, Hash Horn, Choir Master, Monkey.

Down Down – for Who Hasn’t Paid for AGPU run, too far.

Charges – Monk for allowing people to sit when circle called, by Pensioner – down down.

Down Down –  for Glovebox returning Hasher

Charge – Tubby 2 Dicks no Hash shirt, down down.

Down Down – Kylie the barmaid for phone ringing in circle.

Charges – Smegma & Hotrocks (Heckling incircle), but was reversed and Smegma did Down Down for new shoes, then for spillage.

Monk charged everyone for sitting down – Down Down.

Oui Oui charged Matchstick & Champion for drinking tea in the circle, charge reversed.

Jokes

Blurry – Joel Garner joke – shit

Half a Boat – Little men in boxers – shit

Awards

Dummy Spit – Hash Piss – Zorro

Smelliest Run – Daffodil & Corgi

5 Runs for Year – Smegma

Biggest Loser – loosing mugs on away run – Golly

Ernest Hemmingway – Run Report of the Year – Raddish

Dirty Old Man Award – Viagra

Biggest Shit Stirrer – Hotrocks

Best Outfit – Monk (Jenny Craig)

Election of Committee

GM – Raddish

Monk – JCF

Hash Cash – Zorro

Hash Piss –  Half a Boat

Hash Onset – Blo-Jo

Non – Committee

Monkey –  Golly

Haberdashery – Pawpaw

Trail Master –  Country Member

Hash Horn –  Viagra – assistant Trip Tray

Choir Master – Tarzan

Hash Whip –  Delicious

Run Date: 2^nd October, 2017
Run No #1931
Hare: Teflon
Venue:   Mango Ave. Eimeo
Hashers: 22

 

22 hardy souls braved the elements to turn up at Teflon’s place. For the first time ever, there was Teflon guiding traffic for parking places.  But we all seemed to get a satisfactory place to leave our vehicles and head into her place.

Well, not so hardy, and the elements actually were almost perfect – except for the bloody mossies. As usual, a picture perfect view of the ocean just across her back fence.

Of course, Teflon was too smart to actually set the trail herself, so she co-opted Golly as a willing soul to actually do all the work.  Actually not so much work.

We stood around and talked idle chit chat till Golly called the pack together, waved vaguely in the direction of the raging seas and left us to it.

The trail started out to be interesting, along the sea shore, over some slippery rocks, but then up the bank and onto terra firma.

Then off along a trail on roads, paths, nothing to even get my boots a bit muddy. Flat as a tack. Till we got home after about an hour.  Pretty short trail.

But well marked.  Needless to say, I managed to follow a false trail to a mark for on back. By the time I had got back on the trail, everyone had disappeared.

Finally got back to the On Home, grabbed a freezing cold one – onya Nicka Licka – and joined into the chit chat.  Teflon turned on some very nice snacks, and eventually the circle was called. The usual trivia for the hares, down downs for a returning runner; Snot got a couple for some bullshit story of a truck on fire; Pensioner got one for holding hands in the circle; a couple of lame jokes.

Then the event of the night – Raggedy Ann got called into the circle – the stunned expression on her face was priceless. Can’t recall what was the nature of her misdemeanor, but I am sure that it was well deserved.

JCF was remonstrating about this being his last circle.  Then the circle was closed – but Golly got one last one for leaving a stubby half full.

Then Teflon brought on some really good nosh, we all tucked in till we were stuffed, more beers, more bullshit.

Then off home.

Next week’s run is at the Mackay Bowls Club on Nebo Road, next to the KFC.  By the way, it is also the AGPU.

On On

Bagoose