Run Date: 4^th April
Run No #1850
Hare: Zorro
Venue:   Mackay Fencing 70 Satellite Crescent Outer Harbour
Hashers: 27

27 Hashers turned up at Zorro’s ‘hang out joint’ at the Harbour.

Longish walk by the time on my clock, not too much said about the run, only that some got lost. Sweetmeat was the first to return. As the others slowly filled up the space, nibbles were brought out to stop the hunger pangs.

After Hash Cash had done ‘her thing’ and also Hashers were asked for expressions of interest for the bus trip on Saturday 25^th June, her folder was zipped up and the circle was called.

Charges for:-

• Hare
• Delicious for changing the venue for the TGIF from Airlie Beach to Townsville, and not letting anyone else know. The lights and single men of Townsville lured Cummalott and Delicious to travel further north. Fork and Screw had a lovely w/e in Airlie Beach without them! Were they responsible for burning down the Whitsunday Shopping Centre…..or was that Delicious and Cummalott and that’s why that got out of town quickly?
• Charge for Chuck returning runner.
• WHP charged Shocker for Stand in Sweet Meat (Sweet Meat2) for leaving her personal items at his run (due to the rain) and hadn’t been back so Shocker got the fine and to return the items
• Snot charged Golly something to do with the last Ford coming off the production line? 

Pensch entertained us with his jokes, some supposedly from Peau Beau, but could you believe him??

Nosh brought down to feed the hordes, Spag Bol in the biggest pot I have ever seen! Parmesan Cheese to boot! Was there any left Zorro or did the Hashers live up to their eating reputations?

Put your thinking caps on as to who you can bring along on Monday night for our Bring a Friend Night.
On On
Teflon

Run Date: 28th March 2016
Run No #1849
Hare: Viagra
Venue:   Blacks Beach Park Bourke Street Blacks Beach
Hashers: 16

Hash Piss arrived at the said place of the run only to find all of Mackay was having Fish and chips at this beach or Hash had a sudden influx of members. Those who don’t like walking for a cold beer had not saved a Hash Piss Car Park and no offers to remove their own wheels. Comments were made. A crowd of 16 hashers gathered at the beach. On On was called and off down to the beach we all meandered, filling our shoes with sand. Taking in the beautiful sunset and perfect night’s weather. a slight sea breeze and very few mozzies. Trail was set with multi colored surveyors tape, but tape markers were removed or nowhere to be seen or never installed. As trail tape was limited and as usual nobody listens to the trail notes, Hashers made their own trail and continued to find their own way home in the dark. All Hashers arrived safely.

Circle was called. Hare was called, meander report dispatched then the hare was TUN’ed. Popeye was TUN’ed for being born on April fool’s day, and appropriate Hashy birthday song sung. Delicious received was TUN’ed for smoking within 100metres of a children playground area and 100meters of the beach. Then Delicious plus Cummalot’s partner in nicotine were TUN’ed for smoking within 100meters of the beach as well. A few jokes were told. The new Hash song was sung and circle closed.

Hash nosh was served. Hot Cross bums, traditional and brown chocolate ones, for starters. Then homemade rissoles, fresh salad from Viagra’s garden and burger bums “YUM”.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPEYE for Friday 1st April.

See you all at Zorro run.

Have a great week.

WHP

Run Date: 21^st March 2016
Run No #1848
Hare: Golly
Venue:   Shoal Point Park
Hashers: 24

 

Down to the park on the beach at Shoal Point, under the beautiful aging paperbark trees, there gathered a crew of some 24 hashers, which included some returning runners, such as Golden Showers, Snot back breifly from holidays, Lovemuscle, Hartrarcks, and Streaker, who found their way over from the dark side, all were welcomed back with much hugs and greetings by the throng.

The run set off down along the beach, and up into the scrub at the northern end of Bucasia Beach, then finally threading back home, under the paperbarks, good run Golly.

After  hashcash had collected all the dough, and we enjoyed the inviting nibblies that Golly had lovingly prepared, he assured everyone that Raggedy Anne might have helped him make them up.

The circle was called with all the usual bullshit and bad jokes, the returning runners were tun’d.

The Honourable Monk was resplendant in his formal, shall we say, ever devious habit and sword,

To partake in another of his, as always, interesting, and entertaining, naming ceremonies, which, as it turned out, was targetted at our newest hasher, Tamara. She being now known as ‘Bubbles’.

Hart rarcks received a well deserved down-down for relieving the monk of his ceremonial chair from the naming pulpit, but he was spotted by the monk,  and had to reluctantly return it, with another rewarding tun for his efforts, Hope that you guard, and return the ceremonial sword back safely next week Hart rarcks, or you’l cop more than a down-down for that. Oh well, that’s Hash???

Golly then presented a very delicious hash-nosh, of lamb ghoulach with rice . Very nice Golly!!!

He did assure us that Raggedy Anne did lend a hand in helping him prepare this food also.

Well,  that’s it from me, see you all next Monday at Black’s Beach park.

On On Viagra

 

Run Date: 14th March 2016
Run No #1847
Hare: WHP
Venue:   16 Lochmaden Court Beaconsfield
Hashers: 26

We all started arriving at WHP place in dribs and drabs. Even Lassie found the right house not like Saturday where she waited at the wrong number then walked past Delicious House.

Already to go phone call 2 Harriet’s lost wrong part off town but they made it. Pack ready to run WHP gave instructions and we were off. Meters down the trail the heavens opened up and down it came not once but twice on the run hence a lot of SCB.

Back at ON IN wet shirts were swapped for dry  no white pointers around. Nibbles & dip were served.  Head count taken Hare &2 runners & dog were missing who cares they know where to go, they were at the Piss stop that the Hare forgot to mention.

Circled was called  down downs were given to the Hare. Lassie for walking past Delicious on Sat night.

2 Moons becoming a grand dad to his 1^st grand daughter.

Don’t remember who the others were but am sure they know who they are.

Song sung circle closed.

Good old hash Nosh was dished up Pan cooked snags & onion in bread roll & how lucky were we to have  left over dessert from Saturday night.

More piss drank more shit was talked and then we all headed home some still wet in & out.

On On

Golly

Run Date: 7^th March 2016
Run No #1846
Hare: Missionary
Venue:    132 Blacks Beach Road Blacks Beach
Hashers: 20

20 or so hashers dribbled into Missionary abode. The skies were grey, raining and threatening. Finally we got underway with instructions from Missionary that the run or walk will be short and a hill or two. First 500 meters WHP had a nice stroll and chat with Zorro, when WHP decided to run. WHP found the surveyors tape that took him over a couple of hills and ….. to Missionary’s abode in a short time. The pack was stretched out. HASH Piss (the bastard) had given the car key to Breaststroke for safe keeping so no bastard could drink the HASH piss before everyone was back. The PISS was safely locked away and no Breaststroke in sight, but in the mist Breaststroke, Raggedy Anne and Tarzan straggle into view and the HASH PISS was released to the thirsty camels.

Once the HASH PISS was flowing we were provided with nibbles to satisfy the hunger. The circle commenced. Missionary being the hare received a down down. Zorro gave a run report (which was bullshit) as he was off visiting a friend and proceeded to drink 3 beers at this friends place. Zorro received a charge for not doing the run and bull shitting. Viagra received a charge for taking the surveyors tape off too early and there was walkers behind him (great blue heeler he is). Teflon received a charge for being exact about being extracting correct information. HASH song sung and circle closed.

The heavens opened up and the rain came down. HASH nosh was severed Russian stroganoff and rice, to warm the bellies of every Hasher. Everyone mingled, and then it was time for home.

On On
WHP

 

Run Date: 29th February 2016
Run No #1845
Hare: Screw & Fork
Venue:  The Leap Hotel
Hashers: 28

 

Another Monday night and the mysterious gathering of hashers (people?) started gathering for the weekly ritual starting at 6.00pm. Of course those of us in the know (hashers) new exactly what was about to occur   A shuffle, meander, or run to work up a thirst, followed by guzzling of alcohol, circle of bull shit,  ritual eating of food ( so far it sounds religious)  followed by more alcohol and bull shit.

 At last, after all avenues of procrastination were exhausted, the Hare stood up and informed us the trail was marked in chalk and pink survey tape and go find it. The first search proved wrong so back to the start and off in another direction. At this point it looked like the perfect new “Hasher” had been recruited. Piccolo was seen strolling  along fag in mouth with a beer in hand.  🙁   but more about this later. *

Being a run at the leap (29/2/16), the direction of the trail started a few derogatory comments about the hares parentage, as we headed in the direction of ‘the’ hill. But all was saved because we tumbled down the railway embankment through a soggy muddy patch, back onto the highway, left onto the old leap road  to  the piss stop. From there it was on on home to the Leap hotel.

Eventually the circle was called by the Monk, following a suitable delay after Delicious tried to hijack  an earlier start. The following down downs  were dispersed between jokes and interruptions:-

Screw              for setting a great run
Zoro/Zero       Just so people could recognise the clubs GM
Golly               For having on obscene no of runs 200
Raggedy          Can’t remember but she deserved it
*Piccolo          After a promising start, dropping and wasting beer on the run
Shocker          For running away from what he thought was a proposal but was in fact a an offer  of a blow job from Sweetmeat  **

 

After that there was no bloody way I could remember what happened. Song sung.  Circle closed.

** Being The gentleman I am, I offered Sweetmeat my services to organise a Queue of hashers to  help her with the extremely attractive offer she made.

She graciously declined.     Sorry chaps.

The nosh was cooked in record time by the Leaps staff and was excellent. So good in fact that the almost imposable occurred. just about everyone shut up while they ate.  

A few more drinks and more general chit chat then the exodus back to town began

 Good run, good food and a good time had by all.

Don’t tell the government the bastards will want to tax it.

 

ON ON

Nicka Licka

 

Run Date: 22nd February 2016
Run No #1844
Hare: Teflon
Venue:  37 Mango Avenue, Eimeo
Hashers: 18

Everyone gathered in the shade of Mango Avenue just as the down pour eased. It was On On left towards the Eimeo Pub, then down to the Esplanade.  Along the beach to Eimeo Creek, where Shocker spotted some orange tape on the far bank, so it was on over the croc infested gushing torrent. Past Dolphin Heads, along the access road then up over the hill then on home through the park. 

The rain stayed away and the runners and the injured got stuck into the beers, ciders and the delicious nibbles.  The walkers turned up just in time to sample the nibble scraps then the circle was called.  Pensioner thought we needed a little taste of Pea Beau and threw in some really sick jokes, just to remember him by.  Teflon and Viagra both had down down’s for setting the run, Viagra had a second down down for assaulting the Monk with a half drunk beer.  Baagoose had a down down for being a returning runner, Viagra had yet another for trying to steal the Hash mug.  Cummalott had a Hashy Birthday down down, and Nicole a virgin runner also got introduced to the hasher way.

Circle was closed, with a much better attempt of the new Hash Song to the tune of “Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble”.  Teflon put on some excellent hash Nosh – Pulled pork soft burritos with coleslaw and Nicka Lickers homemade hot chutney.

On On Shocker

Run Date: 15th February 2016
Run No #1843
Hare: Prick
Venue:  Gooseponds & Kenzey Street North Mackay
Hashers: 32

32 Hashers came out of the woodwork for Prick’s run at the Gooseponds. Even Snot managed to come back from his escapades to join us. Prick said at the start that it was 4.048kms, but Pensioner claimed he & JCF did exactly that amount by short-cutting. Everyone else went way too far! Meanwhile back at Kenzey Street stragglers made their way through the gate & managed to find the eskies. Lots of chitter chatter going as chairs were shuffled around and brought in to take their spot in Prick’s backyard joining the mosquitoes where they were having a party on their own.

Prick brought out a huge pot of boiled potatoes out to keep us going while the circle was called.

Pensch & Golly called the circle…number of charges for:-

Sweetmeat for something to do with Hamo or should it be WHP…

Tounger for something to do with Sweetmeat…

Cummalott for something returned to her – can’t remember what…

JCF for something…was it returning runner and then I think there was more charges

Snot for something… (or did I make that up)

For Virgin runner Ryan (Golly’s friend)

Smegma for not wearing Hash Attire, which he managed to have reversed, good one Smegma you got them – no one looked at your back!

Delicious for something.. was that the reverse charge for Smegma

The Monk put his attire on and we dropped to our knees for Daphine’s christening which resulted in her now being called ‘Piccolo Pirata’ Italian for ‘Little Pirate’ – Monk put it to the circle was it to be ‘PP’ or ‘Piccolo’ for short. Piccolo took the vote hands down. Piccolo was then welcomed into the group as she made her way around the circle. Welcome Piccolo once again.  

 

 

 

 

Delicious reminded everyone about the progressive walk/bike run on Saturday 12th March.

Hash song sung, circle closed and Prick brought out his sliced Corn Meat which went down very nicely with fresh bread and all sorts of condiments.

On On
Teflon

Run Date: 8th February 2016
Run No #1842
Hare: Popeye
Venue:  Richmonds Hills Park
Hashers: 13

 

Oh what a lovely run! A pitiful 13 runners turned up for the run of the year; best venue, best piss, best tucker and best company.

The weather was cool as were the participants. We covered a bit of road, a bit of mud, a stream, some hills some dry periods and rain. We went up and we went down.

The on on was great with a short circle, a few down downs and then some great hash tucker cooked by Popeye. This will give everyone a new standard to aspire to.

Then we were tired and went home to Mum.

On on. Prick.

Run Date: 1^st February 2016
Run No #1841
Hare: Tounger
Venue:  12 Hill End Road, Glenella
Hashers: 29

The run was set in indelable pink painted marks starting from Tounger’s  place in beautiful uptown Glenella , and 30 odd, (and some odd looking)  hashers departed promptly just after six pm, following a well marked trail, with the live hare going on the entire run, just to officiate the course.

It didn’t  take long for the usual SCB’s to peel off at their earliest opportunity, and head back home to a well undeserved beer, and the promise of a full belly of  glorious wood-fired pizza.

Those that did the full run were rewarded with a great scenic tour of the highlights on the bright sights of North Mackay area, and a cooling, lite fall of rain, to nicely cleanse away the sweat.

After the first nicely chilled beverages were consumed, and everyone forked out their hard earnt oxford schollars, the circle was called, and the usual semi, funny jokes were doled out, including a well responded, if, very long winded, funny from our ever-popular Knothead, after which he was rewarded with a cold tun down his throat.

The executive lunch venue was anounced, and next weeks run by Popeye is to be at the Richmond Hills park, off Dawson Blvd, which is out from Mackay/Habana Rd, 2nd turn on right from the Mackay Golf club roundabout. That’s  just 15 mins from the CBD, for those slack darksiders that will complain that they can’t possibly travel that far out of town. 😢

ON ON and on behalf of Popeye. Cheers fron Viagra