Run Date: 22^nd May, 2017
Run No #1911
Hare: Hooker (Assisted by Knicker Licker)
Venue: 4 Pharlap Parade, Oorlaea
Hashers: 23    

23 eager Hashers turned out at Hookers abode in the red light district of Ooralea to partake in the weekly ritual. Unfortunately we were unable to see what markers looked like because Hooker had parked her car over the top of them. So with that said Nicka pointed into the air in a general direction and we were off. That is not entirely true, I am sure he said something about walking and running and chalk and some other stuff but we were all like a bunch of school kids off on an excursion and were too excited to listen.

On return and after some canapes and dips were consumed, Golly called for a loosely formed circle and nailed it! Hooker scored a down down for being the hare but not before she tried to tell us Nicka set the run which of course he denied. The monk ordered an ice cold VB for past birthdays to McFanny and Radish, who incidentally is not in past its on the 25th, before more terrible jokes were told.

Knothead was charged not for telling bad jokes for a change but scored a drink for wearing his hat and using his phone in the circle. Lassie also enjoyed a beverage for not wearing a hat in the circle and Hooker for not turning up to hash for 2 months so she did not have to write a run report.

Well done Zorro for a massive 250 runs with a VB chaser I bet you felt like you were back in Mexico.

With all that done and a few more trumped up charges just to get rid of the down down piss, the song was sung and we moved onto hash nosh.

What a great feed of pasta something, it really wasn’t bad. More bull was spoken before we adjourned and headed back to reality for the week.

Next week’s run is in Campbell Street, Slade Point. Go left onto Campbell Street and go to the end from David Muir Street. Please bring a chair, insect spray and a joke…. until then…..

On on

JCF

Run Date: 15^th May, 2017
Run No #1910
Hare: Shocker & Sweet Meat
Venue: 9 Hi-Grove Terrace, Andergrove
Hashers: 26

A contingent of 26 eager hashers turned up for what was anticipated to be a long run. As it turned out none were disappointed. Reports came back that there were 3 potential piss stops but many were flat out finding just one!

No wonder they were hard to find, many ignored the well defined chalk marks and made a new trail to suit each individual. Nothing really unusual but returning runner Oui Oui was first back reporting that it was a fantastic run.

Over the next 30 minutes, runners, walkers and crawlers all returned safe and sound. How is a miracle as we later discovered that Lassie had actually led a small group on the trail.

With everyone back and some hash piss consumed we got down to a pretty regular circle. Bad jokes supplied by the monk prove the need for people to bring a joke but as usual no one would charge him in fear of the charge being reversed.

Retuning hashers Oui Oui and Champion both featured in the circle as congratulations were awarded to Sweet Meat for 50 runs and Who Hasn’t Paid for a whopping 400. Some other trumped up charges were created but as usual no one cared so long as all the down down piss was consumed. The monk noted that Prick actually took one of the ice cold down down VB’s and consumed it prior to the circle.

With all official business out of the way we all sat down for what was a great lamb and lentil curry hash nosh. Careful best hash nosh competitors we have a budding young chef competing for the award.

TGIF will be at 80A Maple Drive, Andergrove for all those interested.

Next Week’s run will be at Hookers place at 4 Pharlap Parade, Ooralea see you there!

On on

JCF

Run Date: 8^th May, 2017
Run No #1909
Hare: Zorro
Venue: Mackay Fencing, 70 Satellite Crescent, Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 31

Everyone gathered at the Mackay Fencing Undercover Area to start the usual run that Zorro puts on – the marks were sparse and the the paint used for the marks was orange – one of the first colours you can’t see when it gets dark… Luckily we had some keen eyed Hashers with good torches who could still – by some miracle – find them in the green grass. It was on on out to the Harbour and do the main strip, losing the trail then finding it again.

When everyone was back the Hash potatoes came out and were gobbled up. The fire was lit and the lovely smell of treated pine wafted through the gathering. Circle was called and Zorro took his Hare down down. Baagoose told a great joke then had to take a down down for wearing a hat. Raggedy had to take a down down – she was dobbed in for pointing by Knicker. Knothead had a Hashy Birthday down down and Golly had one for saying Fork didn’t have Hash attire, but it was reversed as she did (it was Flannel and hard to tell). Cummalott had a down down for a returning runner and we had a virgin runner Karen also had her down down.

Circle was closed and the nosh was on. Great turnout, and a great night was had.

On on

Shocker

Run Date: 1^st May, 2017
Run No #1908
Hare: Lassie
Venue: 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia
Hashers: 21

21 hashers appeared at Lassie and Tonto’s place for a public holiday run .

Thru bushland , sand hills and beaches , JCF , WHP and Sweet Meat all lost trail according to my drone I had sent to cover the run.

Read below for the rest of the run report , bring a chairs and mozzie fuck stuff next week for my run from MF at the harbour.

On On

Zorro

Run Date: 24^th April, 2017
Run No #1907
Hare: Piccolo Pirata
Venue: 82 Grendon Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 26 + 4 Visiting Hashers = 30
Shizza – Airlie Beach; Pull Out – Cutlery; Haemorrhoid and Mother Duck – Townsville

Well it was a fine evening for a run so a bunch of motley crew assembled at a fine establishment for some festivities. After some hair raising moments, mainly Knicka reversing his tank down a long and treacherous driveway with the precious cargo of beer on board.  The beer was unloaded and the rest of the stragglers meandered in, there was some bullshit talked about, beer was drunk and we assembled out front for the run instructions of which no one listened to or cared about, we set off.

Much to the dismay of the hares there were no runners so we all disappeared into the ever decreasing light so we could hide round the corner for the first walkers to return so we could sneak back in and claim our prizes  (beer)

To our delight we had managed to not lose Lassie or anyone else so no search parties were organised. We concentrated on the consumption of the beer as the entree was presented, pumpkin soup. At this moment it was brought to our attention that said pumpkins were assembled in the downstairs gymnasium opposite the pair of duck ponds (at this point I should point out that I think that they were still breeding as their numbers seemed to be growing).

The circle was called for the hares to take their comeuppance, just then the courtesy bus showed up carrying Haemorrhoid and Mother Duck who were ushered out front for their presents. There were some awfully bad jokes told to the assembled masses who were suitably rewarded. Bullshit spoken about some run to be held for Anzac day etc. and they closed the circle as we all ran for the eskies.

The mains were served of a savoury mince and more beer was unloaded into our gullets, some more bullshit was uttered as we finished off the majority of the beer. We all snuck off with our precious cargo of pumpkins (to be strapped into the baby seats of our vehicles) into the darkness.

A point to be made is that the pumpkins had in fact been breeding as there were more of them after we left!

A splendid night was had by all as we all stumbled off into the night to the safety and comfort of our respective beds or as the case may be where we fell over and went to sleep.

ON ON

Knothead

Run Date: 17^th April, 2017 (Easter Monday)
Run No #1906
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hashers: 20

Sorry Hashers, no Hash Report received from Piccolo Pirata!!!

I can tell you that 20 Hashers turning up on a Public Holiday, would have to be a first, clearly we all didn’t have anything better to do……

Knicker Licker must have been in the Easter spirit, as all the eskies were out before he even left on the run, bloody shame I didn’t realise that until after he returned from the run!

Pensioner & Mango clearly didn’t have their Easter Bonnets on or were on strike, no Easter Egg hunt, no eggs on the trail, in fact not an egg to be seen anywhere?  Allthough, Pensioner’s magic trip did manage to place a coin at the bottom of a bottle, much to Flaps’s surprise, after getting an eye full of water. Ha Ha Ha most of us had seen it on Facebook.

Circle called, all the usual dribble, charges, jokes etc. reminders about Cutlery’s 950^th Run on the 28^th April at Keppel Sands Cricket Grounds, and also our Mystery Bus Trip on Saturday 13^th May.

Hash Nosh was a very nice Lamb Stew and Vegetables, with loaves of bread (No fishes).

Next weeks run is Piccolo’s from 82 Grendon Street, North Mackay.

On On

Delicious

Run Date: 10^th April, 2017
Run No #1905
Hare: WHP and Breaststroke
Venue: Optus Tower, Mount Bassett Drive, Radar Hill Lookout, Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 23

A merry band of hashers gathered at WHP’s abode…. No, not the house this time, rather the communication tower at the top of of the hill at the Harbour…..I think he was waiting for a call-out so he could show off his tower-climbing skills! It soon became apparent that this was in fact the major breeding ground for most of Mackay’s mossies. Amid much slapping and scratching, WHP aimed the mob off in the only uphill direction left, which of course had a false trail at the end. From there the run rapidly went downhill. Through scrub and 4×4 tracks and mud n shit, the intrepid crew slogged along, before emerging at the cemetery, which was awash in the eerie glow of solar lights attached to graves that may or may not have contained half-dead bodies. Back up the hill we trudged, back to the tower, were we discovered the entire exertion had lasted less than 30 minutes. Good. Time for a beer. Or 3. Some rolled up pizza appeared, and much shit was talked. We were introduced to a new bloke, Ian, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Smeg. Then, amazingly, The Missing GM arrived, muttering something about a bad back. Zorro also decided this was a good time to make an appearance, decked out nicely in thongs.

Shortly after the circle was called. The Missing Monkee launched into a joke, before blocking  The Monk, who also had a story to tell. Awards were handed out to Golly 250 runs, Lassie 200 runs and DT 100 runs, more lame jokes were told, then The Monk called for even more jokes which led to the Tunning of Tounger and Zorro for not having one ready. The returning GM sampled some Tun, as did Ian (Smeg in disguise)…. And another joint downdown for the southsiders, who dared to venture to The Brightside. We also had a returning runner, Billy Tea, who turned up after 17 years. Muttered something about being a pilot for BA, which meant his time was mostly spent overseas….what a lame excuse! Lassie did it again….. got lost. She eventually found her way back, long after everyone else, and this little diversion earned her a delicious Tun. Speaking of delicious, she rattled off something about a bus trip, but no-one was listening so it didn’t matter. Another sparkling rendition of the club song and the circle closed.

WHP produced a big tub of sausage stew and fresh bread, which got slurped down with gusto. Much more bullshitting with beers in hand, till the HashPiss started packing up the eskies, which meant, we guessed, it was time to piss off into the night.

Next week I’ll be busy flattening the hills around Rural View, so you bastards have nothing to look at.

See ya there

Pensioner

Run Date: 3^rd April, 2017
Run No #1904
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove
Hashers: 21

Walked to Delicious’s house back gate locked, so I had to detour via the easement further down the street.

Arrived late all hashers meandering out  the front waiting for instructions.

Deposited paraphernalia in on kitchen table came back out and they had waited for WHP, I think I need to change my name to Tonguer.

IP69 Water proof instructions are issued. We got instructions to head down southwards on Tropical Avenue.

Runnner Hot Rocks, WHP and Corgi headed off, in the back ground we heard onon back, but we knew better.

Piss stop for WHP and Hot Rocks at Breaststrokes house then on home.

Circle formed after spuds with nice stuff butter garlic etc.

Usual jokes and bullshit discussed “you know” crap & fines etc, TGIF, Exec lunch etc.

The Mackay hash song was fucked up, bout time we took it to heart as we are known for it from the combined runs.

Good old traditional banger’s and bread with chilli sauce available great tucker

ONON
WHP

Run Date: 27th March 2017
Run No #1903
Hare: Knot Head
Venue: 10 The Barons Drive
Hashers: 7
Breaststroke       WHP      Tonto    Lassie    Golly     Knothead    Nicka licka

Due to the cancellation of the scheduled run, because of some bitch called Debbie; a dedicated bunch of hard core hard nosed hashers defied the odds and heroically pitted themselves against the elements in the true long standing tradition of the HHH. 

( Will now be referred to as Debbie’s run )

As the intrepid group of hashers gathered in front of No 10 (Knot Head’s place) while being assaulted by wind & rain  the subject of a trail was discussed, only to be informed that the trail had been set in chalk but had washed down Maple Drive past Fork and Screws.

No solution was arrived at until it was noted that it was Monday it was pissing down with rain and one member of the club always said it rained on hashers at her place. So off we went, first stop at Delicious’s place. After her initial shock of being assailed by hashers, she opened her heart , her fridge and forced us to drink beautiful wonderfully cold beer.

After that pleasant  interlude we set off again in the pouring rain and headed to McFannies  where again we stunned the householder with our appearance.  After some polite conversation and a see you later we headed back into the elements.  Here we had to grapple with a big decision, go to WHP place for a beer or back to the On on   The On on won it was closer

Back at Knot Head’s we sheltered behind a tarp that he had thoughtfully put up earlier and gave the Eskey’s  some serious attention.  While we waited for Nattaly to return with the Pizzas we held the circle charged the hare, me for hat in circle and WHP just because.  We then proceeded to discuss the soft cocks and wimps who were afraid of a little rain & wind and boosted our own egos by telling ourselves what “true traditional hash people” we are.

The food arrived and was consumed along with a few more drinks.  the evening wound down and we all went home to nice dry beds.

OnON

Nicka Licka

Run Date: 20th March 2017
Run No #1902
Hare: Teflon
Venue: 37 Mango Avenue, Eimeo
Hashers: 22

A troop of 22 elite Hashers gathered in the stormy gloom and quite frankly pissing rain. Off they trotted around the neighbourhood with a map and Golly’s loose instructions, no point marking out a run in that weather.

Runners returned in various stages due to losing trail that wasn’t set, relying on soggy maps instead! Sweet Meat coming in last as she got lost and did 2 loops around the neighbourhood, a very dedicated Harriet one might say, but no, not us, over achieving bastard was heard rippling all around the group.

Circle was formed after a welcome nibble of corn 🌽 on the cob with lashings of butter, lovely after that rain.

Down, downs given to Teflon the hare and to Knothead for 400 runs. We were all given the pleasure of Knothead stripping down to his undies to put on his new Hashy 400 run shorts. Shorts were very nice and thank the holy Lord for small mercies that Knothead had on reasonably decent undies for once. Photos enclosed of close up groin and bum. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Lots of very bad jokes on the Knothead genre of bad comedy but hey ho beggars   can’t be choosers now can they?

Lassie was sporting a new hair do or no hair do thanks to her fantastic efforts raising money for cancer, $500 and counting. Well done Lassie.

Everyone was drying off a bit by now and the club song was sung with gusto followed by circle closed and a scrabble for Teflon’s delicious hot dogs seen off by chocolate and very posh lychee and white chocolate Tim Tams.

Remember to bring a chair to next weeks run at McFanny’s wee hoose at 13 Grasstrail Street.

On on McFanny