Run Date: 29/11/2020
Run No #2145
Hare: McFanny’s Wee Hoose 
Venue: 13 Grasstrail Street Andergrove 
Hashers: 25

Once again the intrepid Hashers assembled on a Monday night, with not as much enthusiasm as normal, after last week’s leaking roof  experience and the deluge over the weekend firmly in their minds. But big surprise McFanny’s pocket handkerchief of a back yard was covered with gazebos, good one McFanny. Those who were worried about frizzy hair are eternally grateful.

No surprise that there was no trail to follow so out came the little white envelopes with instructions to find our way around. I did notice that there was some difficulty handing them out because nobody wanted the last one in case it started to rain and they couldn’t bugger off on a short cut, but Mcfanny fixed that by assuming her stern face  and stating “you Vill take it”

Cannot tell U much about the trail because I took a shortcut but I do know that the rain held off and there was a piss stop & there wasn’t any grumpy faces on those that did the whole thing

Anyway everyone returned back safely and got stuck into the hot chips and cold beverages until the Monk got sick of seeing people enjoying themselves and called the circle to tell us about some old buggers who are now dead and did a lot of stupid things with their lives. With that out of the way, we then turned on ourselves starting with the hare for setting a shitty run, Tounger for getting caught opening the instructions before we even started, Flaps for bringing a turkey into the circle, Top notch for wetting the pin number and not being able to read it and the 4 mammary mob for loudly conducting their  own  circle in the corner. It was also noted that some of the mammary mob were particularly taken with the turkey because the spent a lot of time making it scream Gobble Gobble Gobble  over and over again. Sigmund has the answer for this type of behaviour I believe. 

Finally the circle concluded with the Hash song and we all waited for McFannies  delicious meal to be served. And it was, Soup followed with Han, and Chicken and Salad rolls with a good selection of sauces and then topped with a large Carrot cake.

 Then as is traditional in Mackay after a period of time to digest the food and have another drink the Lemmings departed and within a short period it was all over

It was a good night good food good company and it didn’t bloody rain

on  on

Nicka  (for Piccolo)

Ps  it has been suggested that I was home early because I didn’t have to wait for Piccolo to finish eating     ‘Surely not’          

 

 

                                               

 

 

Run Date: 22/11/2020
Run No #2144
Hare: Fork & Screw
Venue: Melaleuca Golf Course 200 Keeleys Road Andergrove
Hashers: 26

Run Report for tonight. Adapted to Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

Oh what a night Late November in 2021

What a very special time for Hashers

As I remember, what a night

Oh, what a night, you know I didn’t even know it was going to rain

But I was never gonna be the same

What a night

Oh, I, I got a funny feelin’ when we walked out of Melaleucas Golf Course

Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon

Oh what a night, the storm started rolling in

Was it going to rain or leave us be

Sweet surrender, what a night I felt a rush like a rollin’ ball of thunder as 25 Hashers huddled under the tin roof while the storm closed in..

Oh, what a night

Oh, I, I got a funny feelin’ when Smut called the circle

Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon

Oh, what a night Why’d it take so long before the Nosh was served

Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right

We had to have the charges, and jokes and congrats to Tounger on having a new granddaughter

Oh what a night Oh I felt a rush like a rollin’ ball of thunder Spinnin’ my head around and takin’ my body under as I braved it to the car with Penny in my arms

Sloshing through the puddles… oh what a night … thank you to Fork & Screw & On On to all and to all a good night?

Teflon

Run Date: 15/11/2020
Run No #2143
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: Shoal Point Park
Hashers: 23

 

From the sands of the Northern Beaches 23 hashers gathered on Monday night. To stroll over the trail of Golly’s and Raggedy Ann’s hashy night.

Were there any naughty perverts? Nowhere I could see. Only saw a Streaker, and a friend of mine she’d be.

An award for the Baagoose, a boogie board, it must be, with a see-through top for the pictured lady.

Under the glow of the red fluoros, some were bitten by carnivorous mosquitoes, while we got into our beers.

On this hashy night, Raggedy Ann’s chilled nosh was served, and down downs given, in the circle just heard.

For this lovely evening, there was no panic or fear, of running into mud or running out of beer. For Golly in his wisdom, had packed an extra esky, for this said reason.

A bloody good hasher I do believe. On On.

Matches.

      

Run Date: 08/11/2020
Run No #2142
Hare: Zorro
Venue: Zorro’s shed,70 Satellite Crescent, Harbour 
Hashers: 19

 

Hash report for Zero run. 

Every one started arriving at Mackay Fencing at the normal time apart from PRICK. Who thought to go early just in case he forgot where to go. Come 6-00pm  we were all19 hashers moved out onto road by Lassie with her new Horn. We were given instructions

On run markings nothing about needing cane knifes to cut our own trail. Off we set

Cross road to boundary fence left along fence this is where we became the WHERE

THE FUCK ARE WE HASH> Allot of I am not  going there F**c  ZERO. Some headed up hill to road most

Just stood there cursing ZERO Daffodil cut his way through with his teeth  and found a mark on

The other side Lassie with her new horn guided the rest through. Rest of run was all up hill to look out

To piss stop TOPNOT & Wheelie also made it Back down hill TOPNOT had to take his double pluggers off

As he was walking out off them.

  Back home we were served crackers and dips Hold ON TAR BOY Missing. Zero always seems to loose

One last time it was BARGOOSE. TARBOY found his way back all ended well.

  Circle called history lesson began which PRICK got top of class uni was not wasted. Down downs  were

Handed out charges and jokes. ZERO Was given one for being a tight ass boss for not given his workers

The required  training where to park UTES Not under Excavators .

Hash nosh was served up BIGGGG SPUDS.and other stuff to go with them A box off what to take when

Not to  take a present was quickly consumed.

WE drank more beer than slowly all wandered home to take the fucking burrs out off our socks.

Good run and another good night.

 

See you at the Shoal point park.

  GOLLY ON_ON.  

Run Date: 01/11/2020
Run No #2141
Hare: Daffodil
Venue: 17 Tropical Ave Andergrove 
Hashers: 28

 

The motley crew of hashers slowly but surely strolled in by 6pm for run. Some looking very dandy with their hats and fascinator’s. Runners/walkers and  others gathered out front for directions from Hare Daffodil. Others stayed to help with prep and beer testing to ensure it was fresh, cold and suitable for the runners when they returned.

Sweeps for the big race were sold, drinks were drunk and bullshit was flowing freely. Circle was called, Smut had memory lapse on historic events, we all suitably happy about that.  Down downs were handed out to:

Daffodil for his shit hot run

Streaker and Teflon for forcing Donny and Penny to wait to take a dump, until they got to venue, Delicious backyard.

Delicious for forcing Distillery to mow the lawn with scissors so as not to be have a beautiful rose garden like Tonto and Lassie. She got another one cant remember. Not sure to many Hash groups get away with charging the GM, MH3 breaks all the rules that aren’t rules.

There were others but can’t remember them. A few jokes were told. None by Knothead surprisingly.

The never ending circle went on and on, the second stage being awards  for the year.

Dummy Spit – Delicious

Shittiest Trail – Half a Boat

Longest run – Screw

Best Nosh  – Fork

Caterer’s Award – Flaps

Johnny Young Talent Award – Blurry

Hash Tart of the Year – Maneki Pussy

Virgin Hare Overachiever Award – Hard Drive,  Rarebutt and crew.

Wettest Run  Award – Streaker

Best Brew Award  – Top Knot and Wheelie

Santa Life time award – Golly

 

Delicious gave a brief Hash Treasury  report. Balance to be handed over to next committee  is $4000 plus.

 The circle was suspended so some vote buying and rigging could be organised, hash nosh was devoured and drinking vessels replenished.

Smut declared all mismanagement positions vacant, nominations and voting took place and the new crew were sworn in, GM – Delicious , On Sec – Fork , Hash Cash  – Flaps,  Monk – Smut, Monkee – Zorro, Hash piss – Wheelie &TopKnot,  Trail Master  – Daffodil,  Hash Horn – Lassie, Choir Master – JCF and Haberdashery – Corgi.

A decent rendition of hash song was sung,  circle closed.

Run Date: 25/10/21
Run No #2140
Hare: Tounger
Venue: 12 Hill End Road Glenella
Hashers: Lots

And what a night! The celebration of the inaugural hash run in Mackay 40 years ago. There were 45 runners with a great turn up of old faces, ex GM’s, lapsed current runners and sundry hangers on. 

A few had drinks before a quiet amble through the back streets of Glenella, along the banks of Janes Creek, past Maggies and on to a piss stop outside Wombat’s place. Then on home to the venue. There was plenty of catching up with some of the originals, and in the circle down downs for the old runners, for the ex GM’s, for the undressed and the overdressed. Tractor gave us a potted history of the club origins. A few jokes then on to the fibs that were tales of days gone by.

Tucker was started with nibbles followed by tacos, followed by Little Boys, followed by hot potatoes then on to the pizzas. They just kept coming! Produced by Mrs. Tonguer there were so many that the home fridges are full of frozen pizza awaiting a mouth. Never before  has food been turned down at a Hash Nosh!!

Then it was a few more beers, a few more lies and then On On home to Mummy. A great night in celebration of the 40 years of Hashing in Mackay!

Next weeks run is the AGPU at Delicious’s place. 

On ON . Prick.

 

Run Date: 18/10/21
Run No #2139
Hare: Teflon
Venue: 2 Geoffrey Thomas Dr, Bucasia
Hashers: 26

HashTrash 2139 @ Teflon’s….

I have been coerced into writing this week’s report, cause Tonguer apparently can’t use a computer. Or is dyslexic. Or hurt his little pinky. Or some such…..Anyway, here we go…..

26 hashers gathered at Teflon’s Bucasia residence. After the usual milling about, Teflon declared herself a live hare, and said “follow me to the pissstop”, which may or may not have happened, dunno, I blew a fetlock after a km or so, and reluctantly headed back to the beer. This is where I discovered HashCash Delish had forgotten to turn up and the reigns had been delivered in my direction. This is where I also discovered that, having no previous warning, I hadn’t brought along my glasses, rendering me half-blind, so, with a borrowed pair I attempted to count the cash, only to find the HashPen had ran outta ink! Job finally done, the tribe settled in to chips n bikkies n dips n stuff, which got quickly scoffed, in time for the monk to yell his usual, and gathered the mob into a circle to regale them with historic questions. A down down for the hare, then onto the charges…. Lassie charged Tonto with something or other, dunno, no-one was listening, but Tonto bravely took a sip… as did Zorro, who was also charged with something…. by someone. Fork was called forward to receive a 500 run shirt. And Hare Teflon was called forward to receive a 300 run mug. A couple of birthday gals were bought forward, Mango turning into old age, and Raggedy Anne already being there!

A few old jokes were bandied about, with Wheelie doing a reconnaissance around the table in case some food had magically appeared. If anything else happened I forgot…. Then the choirmaster launched into a rousing rendition of the club song, and Everyone stopped listenin, 

And got on with the job, 

Which was drinkin beer,

And arguin,

And talkin of the heat,

And boggin in the bitumen,

In the middle of the street…… John O’Grady, Tumba Bloody Rumba

Sorry, got as little poetic there,

Now then, where was I? oh yeah….. Teflon dived into the kitchen and produced large pots of savoury mince and spuds with bread… good old “stick to your bones” tucker.

Munching done, the mob returned to the beer, and slowly started to wander off into the night.

Thanks Teflon, (with a little help from Hooker.)

Next week at Tonguer’s, the actual 40^th Anniversary Run of Mky H3 I’m reliably informed some old, old hashers from way way back will bless us with their presence. Along with the ghosts of hashers passed.

See ya there

Pensioner

  

Run Date: 11/10/21
Run No #2138
Hare: Knickerlicker
Venue: 16 Dolby Crt, Nth Mackay 
Hashers: 22

Run Date: 4^th Oct, 2021
Run No:  2137
Hare: Hard drive &Rarebit
Venue:  Slade Point
Hashers: 21      

Arrived at the designated location in the middle of a unseasonal dry cyclone, nearly lost Piccolo before she hid behind the car just to remain on site. Then I remembered that one of Gollies farts are strong enough to blow her sideways but had to revise back up to a gale warning when she climbed back into the car to stop her tobacco blowing away when rolling a cigarette. 

One of the advantages of arriving early to the run is to observe the facial expressions of the later arrivals, well last week it was a real treat. They ranged from complete disbelief  to horror for the lightly built, to “fuck off wind” for the more stoutly built,  up to doesn’t worry me from JCF. But it changed to relief when Hard drive came floating down the road wind behind him to inform everyone that we will be shifting  back to his place to get out of the wind.

The hare then explained that there were two trails one along the beach fully exposed to the wind for the intrepid and the other along the road parallel to the beach. So the hashers headed off on trail into the wind bent at 45 degrees and within a few mins had travelled 10 meters but they struggled on and eventually disappeared. As usual all hardships and complaints were forgotten when they arrived at the piss stop. Now with the breeze at their back they floated back home where Top-notch wasted no time in shifting the booze to the new location

Normality returned as conversation and alcohol flowed freely for a while then Smut in the guise as the monk again gave his captured audience another history lesson before accessing the performance of the group and the virgin hares. As all who attended will agree the boys (Hard drive & Rarebit)  did a bloody good job, a sentiment reinforced after the circle with the excellent food that followed. They did such a good job the down down mugs should have been bigger.

At this point I will mention the excellent effort given by the family who assisted with the food and the top grade musical entertainment by both Sam and her mother throughout the evening.

One of the better evenings with a bit of everything and some new things thrown in for good measure .   

Well that all folks.    On On

Nicka

Run Date: 27/09/21
Run No #2136
Hare: Pensch & Mango 
Venue: Carpark at end of Radiata Street Plantation Palms
Hashers: 20ish

I started the evening LOST.

Not knowing where to head to, since I did not bother to check Pensioner’s message, I decided to get there early and wait till I recognized a fellow Hasher, and follow them. 1^st to arrive was Golly n Ragerty. No luck there, as they seemed lost as well. Next came Nicker and Piccolo….no luck there as they seemed lost as well. Eventually with cars everywhere, we tailed on to someone who looked like they knew where they were going, and we all finally arrived at the ON ON.

Pensch gave us the instructions regarding the trail, and as Tounger was at the site, it was time to go.

Around the Eimeo/Rural View wetlands we set off following chalk and surveyors tape. The skies were swarming with little black bugs, but thankfully the wind was V strong, and kept them at bay. The water birds were prolific and swarmed into the air as a cloud when we disturbed them. There was even a Black Swan….how amazing was that.  Pensioner did the right thing, and retrieved the surveyors tape as we went. This will be a great site in the wet season when the waterways are full.

A little into the trail, a HH was advised by a sign of “PS” in a circle on the concrete path. Mango dived into the bushes and just like the miracle of the loaves and fishes, returned with a drink stop brew and cups. This turned out to be good thinking by the Hares, as this allowed the late comers to catch up.

After the drink, the pack headed back to the start, however Pench was on guard with his walking stick, and refused to let us stop, and advised that the trail went on further, so off we went. Around the streets of the new housing estate, we went on a tour of the latest home design trends.

Back at the ON ON, the returning pack was treated to lots of nibbles and lots of beer. The circle was eventually called to order, and our ever knowledgeable RA (the Monk), enlightened us on a lot of history from the past that happened on this date in time. Tarzan and Flapps showed that they were paying attention at school in their early days, and displayed knowledge of past events well above the standard of the average hasher.

The usual circle banter was engaged in, down downs, charges, jokes and the club song were performed, then we tucked into the Nosh of sausages, rissoles, bread, fried onions and a salad. While consuming our Nosh, a couple of young wild ones came past our spot and started doing burnouts around the streets. Did Pensch organize this as well for entertainment??

THEN THE COPS ARRIVED……….!!

Drinks were hidden, and we all tried to put on our “old persons” innocent look. The coppers were looking for the hoons, and asked us what we knew about the event. As usual….we saw nothing and told them so. After they quizzed us as to what we were up to, and after a few vague explanations, they nicked off. By then we had had eloquent sufficiency, and started drifting off back home.

A great night of food, drink and entertainment was enjoyed…..thanks Mango and Pensioner.

Next week’s run is at Hard Drive and Rarebit’s place at Swan Park, Slade Point.

I ended the evening LOST…..but eventually found my way out, and went home. 

The Blurrrrr.