Run Date: 21.12.2020
Run No: 2095
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Venue: 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia

A huge crowd of 15 descended onto the immaculate rear lawn of Tonto & Lassie, careful not to disturb the rose bed and the award-winning orchid display. Tonto persuaded several members to look over the fence at his neighbour’s pristine yard arrangement, and it became clear we were in the presence of gardening gurus.

Eventually Tonto called us to attention, and indicated some arrows on the ground, and told us to follow them. Which we did, through the darkening streets of Bucasia and down through the beachside walking tracks, until we found Lassie, with a bin of nasty cheap red wine and lemonade, laughingly described as a piss stop. After a slurp or two, the cry was “on home”, so off we raced, led by WheelieBin, doing his best impression of Slenderman on speed.

Arriving back at the Botanical Gardens,  er, Tonto’s joint, we each selected a square of Sir Walter turf, and carefully slipped into our chairs  then enjoy the fragrance emitting from the many and varied tropical blooms.

In the absence of Monk Smut, Flaps stepped up and called the circle to order. Down Downs were dispensed to Tonto and Lassie, and another to Tonto for the quality of his lawn, some charges were thrown back and forth, the outcome of which I forget, the stand-in Monk told a couple of dubious jokes, Flavio and Giovanni made another appearance, and then all went quiet, until the stand-in Monk  called yours truly forward with an award for 300 runs (walk, appearances??)……an engraved mug, which was quickly desecrated with left nasty red plonk. Not having any more to say, the stand-in Monk  began to warble the Hash Song, before closing the circle.

Nosh of sausages, rissoles, bread and salads were bought forward and quickly demolished. Beers was drunk, talk was talked, and slowly heads started to droop, so the mob dispersed and headed home to bed.

Next week will be an epic climb around the Rural View Ranges.                      

See ya there, if you’re not otherwise engaged in the silly season.

Pensch

 

Run Date: 14-12-20
Run No: 2094
Hare: Flaps 
Venue:  17 Jarrah Street for our Christmas party 
Hashers: 26

Hello all fellow hashers, Numbers over 20 turned up at Flap’s abode from 5 o’clock onwards. With the early arrivals wondering why they needed to ready themselves by 5 when the run didn’t start until 6. Which meant no time to check they had their knickers on. Gathering out the front all were happy to here it was only a short run with a little hill, it wasn’t even long enough to have a piss stop just what was needed for a Christmas run. All sorts of yummy nibbles were produced and eaten while waiting for Santa and Mrs Claus to appear. With runners becoming restless wondering what was taking so long for Santa to arrive with suggestions of Mrs Claus was giving him his present first. With the usual organised group of numbers given out and hashers losing and forgetting numbers with a cheeky one not being able to wait and pretended his number was called grabbed his pressie and bolted for the kitchen. The circle was called with deserved charges and the best joke ever told by U-Turn which she called Adelaide to ensure she got the punch line right. Congratulations to Matches for being awarded her 50 runs hat. Well done for Christmas feast of ham, chicken and salad very suited in this hot weather. I don’t remember what dessert was but Tonto commented it was very yummy. See you all next week for those still around during the holidays.

ON ON

Lassie and Tonto.

 

Run Date: 30.11.2020
Run No: 2093
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 70 Satellite Cr, Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 23

 

The usual suspects gathered at Zorro’s place of business for another Monday night’s  fun and frivolity.

It was a red dress run and it was pleasing to see plenty of red dresses, shorts and t-shirts.

Santa forgot to wear his red outfit, must be getting old.

We were assured there were plenty oh hills, mud, sand and a few fences thrown in for good measure, however, as a true hasher, Zorro was a little liberal with the truth.

Everyone made their way to Sails Bar for a few jugs of the amber fluid, supplied by Comlec (I think that’s how it’s spelt, where Delicious works) it was then on home.

Everyone gathered to enjoy a cold amber, but someone was missing. A search party was sent out to look for Bargoose, he eventually made it back after seeing parts of Mackay he didn’t know existed.

The Monk called the cicle, the hare was called to receive his just desserts. Bargoose gave a great run report, seeing things like kangaroos, snakes and crocodiles on his epic journey.

Down downs were given to Corgi for her 30^th birthday, Bargoose for overachieving, Insex and Snot for being returning runners.  Jokes were told by Pensioner, Tounger, and yours truly, continuing readings from what is expected to be a best selling novel.

Nosh was served,  curried sausages and bread, dessert consisted of rum balls and lemon balls, made by Matches, both were delicious.

Zorro was extremely upset because there was no curry for his lunch the next day.

See you all at 17 Jarrah Street for our Christmas party, early start 5pm, so get in early for a good seat 

On On Flaps

 

Run Date: 30.11.2020
Run No: 2092
Hare: Knickerlicker
Venue: 16 Dolby Crt, Nth Mackay
Hashers: 25

 

Heaps of hashers turned up to Knicka  place and he deliberately set the run to go thru Palm View retirement village

Where I heard that Mango has been looking for a place for Pensioner

Good run

Great circle

Great Nosh [ loved the curry pies ]

On On to Zorros next week, bring insect fuck off

Run Date: 23.11.2020
Run No: 2091
Hare: Wombat
Venue: 8 Hokin Street, Glenella
Hashers: 26

 

Turned up at Wombat’s and found that for the second week in a row we were not the first to arrive (No i wasn’t waiting for Piccolo to finish her lunch she found other Girlie things to do that murdered time schedules) . The rest of the rabble wandered in until we numbered 26 by the time we started on the run. We shuffled out on the same path as Wombat’s last Ultra marathon, which caused a few rumbles from the back of the pack, but she lulled us into a sense of false hope with a sharp left heading towards “Smuts” old stamping ground. But NO! we ended up on a tour of the cleanest and best manicured drains in Mackay, before we ended up on the On Home    

The circle was called by  the Not so honourable  Monk. who then proceeded on his rendition of a history lesson on what happened around the state, country, and the arse end of the nearest -planet in the next galaxy, in year run number minus one thousand.  Finally the hare was told to drink for setting the run and for forgetting how to set a check. Delicious for taking months to find the right colour (which doesn’t exist) shorts just for her 400 th run.  Jokes from the gay virgin and Old Italian and what happened after that I don’t know because i was talking 

After the Hash song sung and circle Closed, a great hash nosh was served & devoured and a few more drinks until  hash piss took them away.

Something else happened that night but it wasn’t worth remembering so I haven’t

 0n on

 Nicka
PS please brink a chair next week because I 0nly have 4

Run Date: 16.11.2020
Run No: 2090
Hare: Wheelie & Top Knot
Venue: Shoal Point , Beachway Park
Hashers: 27

 

27 intrepid hashers turned up to an awe inspiring venue, beside a lake and great covered bbq area. Run started a little late,  we had to wait for Wheelie and his carers to make their grand entrance.

Top Knot called the called for order and gave run directions and off we all trundled. That is all excluding U-Turn who over achieved and ran. The trail was on pathways and road so

Wheelie could follow trail . We found a piss stop, with a warning the Sangria was very potent, Wheelie being in charge of the brandy bottle was very inaccurate with his measuring. It was on home from there.

The circle was called by  the honorable Monk. A run report was called for, U-Turn gave a stride by stride description of run, taking so long that we were all yawning by the end as it was so exhausting listening to it. The hares duly took their down down. More down downs were hand out to returning runners U-Turn and Matches; Smut and JCF for not attending important Hash meeting;Tonto and Piccolo for Hashy Birthdays; Zorro for his 400^th run.

Jokes by shared by Tounger and Flaps. General bussiness discussed , Hash song sung and circle Closed. Great hash nosh was devoured and more pissed drunk and bullshite talked. Then it was on home to bed.

 

Fork

 

Run Date: 9th November 2020
Run No #2089
Hare: Tonguer
Venue: 12 Hill End Road Glenella
Hashers: 26

26 hashers gathered at the residence of Tounger in Glenella’s hill end road. The run was marked in chalk and we were off. Starting with a steep incline to tease us with the thought of a challenging run, we were quickly set onto a steady flat surfaces remaining.

 

Returning back, congratulations were in order to McFanny for officially becoming an Australian!!

 

The circle commenced lead by JCF, jokes were thrown about. Pensioner managed yet again to pull some laughs about his a two Italian friends… this time without even having a joke to tell. Impressive nonetheless!

Charges given out all round. One particularly to half a boat for either being too brave or too blind for walking straight past the snake in the middle of the path while others cautiously went around. Another horrible attempt at singing before stuffing our faces with food and more beer.

 

Home made wood fired pizza’s and Australian decorated desserts set a high standard for the hash grub.

Definitely a great night!

Thanks

 

Topknot

     

Run Date: 2nd November 2020
Run No #2088
Hare: Baagoose
Venue: 21 Park Street, Mackay
Hashers: 21

21 Hashers assembled at the appointed venue in expectation of a challenging and
interesting run. Fat chance! BG gave the instructions re the run; set in chalk and lime;
no hills; no mud or water; no piss stop; absolutely sweet FA.
After the guiding instructions we headed East on Park Street but a quick look over the
shoulder revealed 3 errant Hashers heading West on a beeline to the boozer. Not stupid
those 3!
Off we went through the Queen’s Park, across the oval, through the renovation area,
along the streets of East Mackay. Then through a few more streets and back to the hash
venue.
A few drinks. A sale of Sweep tickets for the Melbourne Cup. A circle which produced a
lot of sound but very little signal. The usual, followed by the worst rendition of the Hash
Song. Ever. We really need the services of the coaches from ‘The Voice’.
Great Hash Tucker followed- curried sausages and Araldite rice. A few more beers. A lot
of yap. And on home to Mummy.; Great night.
Next week: Tonguer. Hill End Road
On On.   Prick.

Run Date: 26^th October 2020
Run No #2087
Hare: Fork & Screw
Venue: 80a Maple Drive, Andergrove
Hashers: 16

RUN REPORT FROM BAAGOOSE

 The band of fearless hashers gathered slowly at the domicile of Fork and Screw in drizzling rain. Those who came prepared clutching umbrellas – so much for fearless hashers -who wants to get wet – maybe the rain will cause the colours to run on our colourful t-shirts.

 Anyhow, we are sitting round talking hash bullshit when Fork/Screw announced that there was no marked trail, so those who are inclined can go for a walk. – Not even a live hare to give some direction.

 After a short time, Flaps turned back. JCF and yours truly turned back to keep him company in the event of a mishap. Fortunately all was well, so we had a very short trail.

 As the pack trailed in, we all sat around and talked hash bullshit and munched on some munchies, until the Monk called for a circle.

 Run number 2087 – so what happened 100 runs ago. Jo Bjelke stood down and Mike Ahern became premier.

 Top Knot was called upon to give a run report. As expected: hills, hills, hills.

 Charges.

 Screw for hare, JCF gave us a new song.

 No more charges from the floor.

 Charges from the AGPU. Reportedly JCF was swept out the door with the trash clutching?? Bottles to a waiting taxi. Who knows what happened from there?

 Jokes.

 Pensioner told one of the endless stream of jokes from Flavio and Fulvio.

 Baagoose told the story of the three rats, followed by a joke about a small Italian wedding.

 With no further entertainment, discussion re executive lunch. Taylors at 12.29.

 Some discussion about international grandparents???

 Hash song.

Circle closed 7.14. 

Run Date: 19th October 2020
Run No #2086 AGPU
Hare: Live Hare
Venue: Mackay Bowls Club Nebo Road 
Hashers: 27

Awards presented:- 

1. Most eventful run….Picccolo 
2.  Swan Dive Award -Nicka 
3.  Ernest Hemingway Award – Smut 
4.  The Balls Award – Distillery
5.  Bestest helper – Raggedy Ann 
6. Our real live Santa Award – 
7. We don’t travel that far on our holidays – Matches @ Ball Bay
8. Thanks Bro  – Tarzan
9. Dirty Old Man Award – (later in the evening) went to Prick

New committee elected:-