Run Date: 11th April 2022
Run No :2164
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: 4 Evans Ave North Mackay 
Hashers: 24

As another Monday evening descended on us, 24 eager Hashers gathered at Tarzan aka Tarboy and U Turn’s humble abode in Nth Mackay. The over riding factor of the night was, Wheelies 40^th bday, he turned up early with his side kick Maneki Pussy, the excitement was the hash piss was early also. 

Six pm came and the hare was casually putting on his shoes, so we waited while he chatted and put his shoes on.

When ready Tarboy called us to attention, the run was sent in chalk and on the right-hand side. If there were no marks, they were washed away in the scud of rain that came through at 5pm. Poor excuse, he just didn’t steal enough from the school. Tarboy, you have to put marks down so they can be washed away. Full marks for piss stop brew, then on home. It was noted that a few hashers lost trail very quickly, sniffed out the pub next door, as you do, dropped in and held up the bar for a short while.

Nibbles were served, sans 1 lot of salsa, which ended up the walls and on the floor of the kitchen. Beers were drunk, fees paid and a voice from out of the darkness called the circle. We all jumped to attention and formed said circle very promptly, (just joking).

Tarboy called forward to get his just desserts for a shitty trail. There were a few other charges can’t remember them all. Jokes were told, hashy birthday sung for Wheelie, Hash song sung and circle closed.

Nosh was served, and devoured in record time. Birthday cake, poppers, sparklers and desserts were ready. Another rousing rendition of Hash birthday sung again. Wheelie had a gay old-time testing most of the slices of his. Fantastic quality control technique he has.

Was a great night, with cold booze, great food, great company. With that mineself, Fork and Deliciousssh headed home.

See you all next week at Maple Drive.

Onon Screw

Run Date: 4th April 2022
Run No :2163
Hare: Pensch & Mango 
Venue: 12 Douglas Street Rural View 
Hashers: 21

Here is the run report for Mon 4/4/22. Run 2163 I believe. About 21 motley crew showed up at Pensh & Mangos for this sortee  thru Suburban Rural View. What a hilly little project it turned out to be. Anyway I missed the Piss stop because I was gossiping to (Pissed) a returning Runner from afar. However (Lassie) my extensive knowledge of Rural View took me on a slightly shorter trail. A fair bit of crap was talked about till the stand in monk JCF arrived in the nick of time. On casually glancing around I mentioned to Zorro that we had no GM, No Monk , no Choirmaster till JCF did his stand in Monk thing. I thought no Smut so we won’t get a history lesson from Wikipedia. Zorro then  piped up & said he has been in contact. ON ON I thought However he was pulling my leg. Thank the Lord. Circle called some charges were delivered. Pensch 1 shitty trail, 2 patching furniture with cable ties & some more obscure ones. Fork for Hash Spillage while telling jokes Pissed came up with one about refurbishment of the Taj Mahal which flew over most heads. Circle then lingered on with charges for no hash attire.(Lucky, Moth, Pissed & Blind. We welcomed visitors from Brisvegas Moth & Soak plus returning runners Lucky & Pissed. Circle finally completed & all agreed it was our longest circle in living memory. Then Nosh time. Dips bikkies for starters, Chicken pasta with side of sweet potato bake then dessert of Mangos rock cakes & brownies. All hit the spot very pleasingly. Thanks Pensch & Mango. Then it was time to toddle off home. See ya next week at the TARBOY  & U -TURNS joint. On On The TARBOY.

Date: 28th March 2022
Hashers: 2162 
Committee Run at Harbour

22 Hashers rocked up to Mulherrin Park at the harbour, supposedly held at the big concrete crocodile, but since this seemed to be too far away for the mob, we moved closer to the toilet block, which also happened to be closer to the beer…..no brainer!

The mob milled around talking assorted shit, when Wheelie turned up in a different car, guided by yet another carer…. AshRae (hope the spelling’s right.

Hare Daffodil announced the run, which started at the croc, but we was at the dunny, so the whole lot of us short-cutted from the very start. Off we went anyhow, heading towards the surf club and into gardens and sand dunes as was to be expected at the harbour. Eventually the mob returned, where everyone tried to give me money, not believing this was a freeby Committee run. Fork and Corgi produced some bread, bikkies, dip which the hoard gobbled down…. Then the circle was called by the eminent Monk, who had trouble reading his own notes due to lack of lighting. Finally got going, only to be drowned out by local Harley Hoons having a loudest exhaust competition.

Daffodil was called forward for a hare down down. Charges ensued which saw down downs thrown about to Paw Paw, Rarebit and Titanic, Fork, JCF and Wheelie’s new helper AshRae…. I think that was all, may have missed some. Tonguer told a joke, which seemed to fall flat, so I tossed one in about a gynecological mechanic. The song was sung and the mob settled into the beer, only to have the Harley Hoons return, to prove that a Harley can rattle windows with a twist of the throttle.

Corgi and Fork rustled up some nosh… pulled lamb and veggies and bread rolls… very chompy.

More bullshit was bandied about, until folks started to wander off home. All in all, a very pleasant evening in idyllic surrounds!

Next week I’ll introduce you to a few small hills around The White House On The Hill.

See ya then.

Run Date: 21^st March, 2022
Run No :2161
Hare: Maneki Pussy & Wheelie
Venue: Park @ Beachway Bld, Shoal Pt Waters
Hashers: 20

 A beautiful day and evening to follow. The temperature last night was 20 degrees. Last to arrive was Zorro and Half a Boat but they weren’t walking either, a sore toe for Zorro and a broken toe for Half a Boat? Wheelie and Fill de Jaw were ready to lead us off to follow Maneki’s trail as she was finishing off her cooking for the night. Our two newbies from Hookers’s run Thomas and Joy joined us as we were heading towards the beach. We discovered large colourfully decorated arrows following around the paths and across the main road circumnavigating Nautilus Park and arrived at Wheelie’s house for a drink stop. The Hash piss stop sign on Wheelie’s driveway had flowers drawn on either end, you couldn’t miss it.  Quite the artist. An old young runner came back tonight. It was Blind, Pissed’s youngest son.  He was first in as he wanted a run. From here it was homeward bound around to the other side entrance to the park. I think only Blind and Corgi found that bit.

Wheelie and Fill had their favourite dips and chips ready for us. The sun setting was a glorious reddish gold. We were waiting for the lights to come on but didn’t eventuate, maybe because of the swallows nest glued to either side of the light fittings was the problem? Maneki left the lights from her car on, while she ferried the smorgasbord of foods to the table. Tonto came to the rescue with a lantern and Pensioner left Flaps solar light on too. 

The circle started with Smuts lesson on this day! Maneki and Wheelie were given a drink for setting the run and a welcome back drink was given to Blind , Fill , Thomas and Joy. Charges and Jokes were called for. Hooker was brave and remembered her joke as she was telling it. Pensioner came through with another. Maneki’s friend Mariano with the 4wd came to the rescue with his head lights, when the circle closed with Pensioner leading the Mackay Hash Song off. Japanese style food was kept warm in the bay marie. Plenty of rice dishes and Sushi, followed by a chocolate brownie slice and green tea flavoured chocolate biscuits. Taste buds were tested. Thanks for a wonderful night.

Daffodil & Corgi

Next weeks run; Mulherin Park, The Harbour, near the crocodile

Run No:2160
Hare: JCF
Venue:  5 Margaret Grant Place, Mt Pleasant
Run Date: 14 March
Hashers: 15

15 Lost Souls turned upon a bleak and wet night at Hooker’s humble abode, excitement escalated when Maneki & Wheelie, not because they are hash piss, but because WHEELIE not only in a new sporty red wheelchair, but also a brand new car. Hashers mingled seemingly to admire his new wheels, they were checking out how well the esky fitted , there may have been a comment overheard, ‘ great we can get a bigger esky now’.

JCF called us to order and handed out the dread envelopes, the pack trundled off, returning sometime later very wet. Pensioner short cutted and was back much earlier than the rest of the pack, muttering something about KFC  or maybe it was Macca’s.

Nibbles were served, garlic butter spuds, (very nice).

The Monk called the circle, down downs given to the Hare, Pensioner can’t remember why and Zorro for not dying and returning to the fold. Jokes told by Hooker and Screw, ( of course Mine was the best). Song was sung and circle closed.

Nosh served, with JCF saying that there was not meat in nosh as he couldn’t buy any sausages, me thinks he was playing with his own sausage. The night carried on , ‘til last drinks was called and there was a mad dash to the esky. Wheelie was worried about his car being scratched, by the thirsty hashers.

With that mine self and Fork toddled of home in my old car.

Next weeks run @ Park@  Beachway Boulevard, Shoal Pt Waters.

ON ON Screw

Run No:2159
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue:  Evolution Park, Paget
Run Date: 7 March
Hashers: 19 

19 Hashers rocked up for a 3km walk/run, with relatively pleasant temperatures and stunning sunset to take in.

Circle was called and the monk, came up with his usual trivia, that we all gullibly believe. He could tell most of us any shit and most of us would believe it. Charges were handed out to the Hare, Daffodil for setting a run with no marks or hills.

Tonto for not responding when Lassie, snuck up and tried to give him a horn or two.

Queen B ( nick name for Evelyn, not her hash name as she hasn’t been christened yet), for pissing of to Canada.

Hooker, for trying to drink her cruiser with the cap still on.

Thanks Pensioner for the only but good, Flavio and Giovanni Joke.

Circle closed.

Delicious meal of savoury mince and mushy peas on rolls.

Next weeks run at 5 Margaret Grant Place, Mt Pleasant

Run No:2158
Hare: Smut
Venue:  57 Bradman Drive Glenella
Run Date: 28^th February
Hashers:21

We were running late for we had an extra passenger, a wallaby that was released on our block but was still attached to humans. A Wild Life Carer was picking it up the next day. Corgi decided she would keep it a night to see how it was faring.  Just as we were turning the corner Maniki Pussy was backing in with the Hash Esky. All set, Smut called us all out the front and the trail was set with a round imprint that looked like bird poop Maniki Pussy explained after we got back from the trail. It took a while to find the trail for Nicker had parked on top of the first mark. Seeing a couple of marks, we headed south along Bradman Drive, all chatting   following the ones in front until  someone asked if any more marks were seen? No marks so we about turned and headed back to Tallon Street where JCF was calling OnOn. On reaching Davey St, I seen a young bloke with no shirt on, running after JCF shouting out at him, a bit of a worry I thought but he eventually came back to us and explained that he heard JCF calling out something. Apparently a stray dog had wandered into his place and he thought JCF was the owner.  All walking in the right direction we headed for Hillside Terrace, Arthur Street to the Piss Stop at Emmanuel Park where we found Smut patiently waiting. JCF and myself informed Smut that we hadn’t see or heard any other walkers for some time and thought they may have headed home but several minutes they arrived. It was on home from here, only 1.7klm’s, Smut’s car wasn’t big enough to fit everybody, so home we walked to find a cold beer. Dips and bickies were on the table and soon after the circle was called. Nicka was charged with parking on the first mark, Corgi for bringing a wallaby to the run(definitely a first), Daffodil took it for her, Delicious for leaving 2 pot holes in Wombat’s back yard after she was bucked face forward by her chair, Queen Bee, Hard Drive & Rare Butt for returning runners. Several jokes were told by whom we can’t recall.

Smut brought out two large pots of curry (1. Massaman & 2. Dahl) and one of rice which was soon devoured by the hungry Hashers, compliments to the cook, more drinks were had until Maniki Pussy announced last drinks. Shortly after we all said our good-buys and headed home.

Thanks Smut, another enjoyable night was had by all. 

OnOn

Corgi and Daffodil.

Next weeks run is from Evolution Park, South Eastern end of Maggiolo Drive, Paget.

Date: 21st February 2022
Run No: 2157
Hare: Wombat 
Venue: 8 Hokins Street Glenella
Hashers:20

Anticipation was high when enthusiastic Hashers gathered in the backyard of Wombat’s Hokins Court ponderosa.

After much procrastination, a reluctant bunch gathered in the front yard to receive some basic run instructions from Wombat before setting off on a short but well-marked trail around one block of Glenfields estate. Late arrivals, Wheelie and Maniki Pussy met the inbound front runners not far from the start and were left with no other option than to turn around and head for home also.

Appetisers were served while stand-in Hash Cash (Pensioner) wrestled some cash out of the other 20 Hashers.

The circle was called, the run was critiqued and the Hare received a down-down before promptly advising of her recent birthday, which triggered a rendition of Hashy Birthday and another down-down. 

No sooner had Wombat assumed her place back in the circle, she was front and centre again, alongside Madame Curie and Maniki Pussy taking a down-down as a returning runner.

There were a couple of lame stories that I can’t remember before Raggedy Anne’s 400^th run was recognised with a pair of personally embossed shorts, which she proudly modelled soon after.

With the circle closed, Wombat presented those gathered with lashings of chicken and salads, nicely finished off with calorie laden cake.

At some stage during the evening, Delicious sought to spice things up a bit with a dead-ant impersonation – there were nearly some crowd-crush injuries as multiple well-meaning first aiders rushed in to assist. Delicious returned to her seat unaided and initiated recovery operations – rolled a smoke and gulped a slug of cider!!

Hashers bid their farewells, thanked Wombat for her hospitality and returned to the security of their own homes to begin preparations for next week’s run at 57 Bradman Drive.

 On-on Smut

Date: 14th February 2022
Run No: 2156
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: Palm Street Cremorne
Hashers:?

A very small band of warriors turned up at Palm st for the run this week. One of them being Tarzan who has been absent for about 10 weeks recovering He  landed this job of writing this  report, got a down down for  being a returning runner, and broke news of the passing of Mia a Hasher from Mackay. Honourable Monk gave a lengthy report about the true origins of Valentine’s Day which dated back to the Middle Ages and continued on to present day. Some lame jokes were told & Top Knot received a down down because he’s jaunting off to Columbia & Venezuela for some special deals & hopefully some hashing, Pensioner copped another birthday drink coz no one could remember that he had one last week. (Too bad ).The run itself was exactly 3.9 km according to hare Half a boat, got the usual song for poor planning & lack of excitement. Nosh was served up & readily consumed thanks to Chopsticks with a special serving of chicken from her hometown in China. Circle was closed & after a couple more drinks every body buggered off On On Tarzan.

Date: 7th February 2022
Run No: 2155
Hares: Tonto & Lassie
Venue: 23 St Bees Ave Bucasia  
Hashers:14

A shower this morning but it cleared to a sunny day. We arrived earlier than we used to for we found a park easy behind Pensioner. Golly & Raggedy were there with the beers. Screw had given Delicious a lift since Flaps is still away. Delicious gave us an update of how Zorro was recovering and a few were missing such as JCF, Tarzan , Top Knot & Wheelie who may be back next week. Delicious thanked Golly for doing Hash piss as well as the cans return for the last couple of weeks. Nicker & Piccolo, Tonguer alias Dad without Dave , Hardrive & Rarebutt completed the group. We set off along Bucasia road after a couple of on backs I found and turned towards the beach where Lassie was making up the piss stop. Ginger Ale, Beer & Green Ginger wine, very refreshing and the ginger certainly cleared the throat.  bike riders sounding their bells behind us. Dogs and their owners were out for the evening walk as well. Pensioner was first in again.

Lassie had a corn relish & tuna dip & biscuits ready. Mossies came in on dusk so the circle was called by Delicious. As we had no Song Master Delicious nominated Daffolil to sing a song for the Hare, anyone else charged, another hasher was nominated to sing a song and if you couldn’t remember one you were asked to join the charged.  Tonguer thought of a new one -Fu**Fu**Fu**Fu**, he was also charged. A bit of fun it made you think on your feet. Lassie had won a meat tray so we were treated with rissoles , sausages , Salad & Rolls which went down a treat. Chocolates & Carmel Mousse due the slice didn’t set. Tonto couldn’t find those chocolates in the fridge. Lassie said he had a man look because he found only two gold beers instead of the four in the fridge as well. An enjoyable night was had by all. Thanks to Lassie & Tonto.

Corgi  & Daffodil