Run Date: 22nd June 2020
Run No #2068
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: 4 Evans Ave North Mackay
Hashers: 20 ish

 

No more than 20 eager hashers landed at Tarzan and Uturn’s abode for a run which was to be like no other.

Gathering early to get the greetings and gossip out of the way, all 20 of the conclave were eager to receive the enchiridion by the hare. He did not disenchant with the announcement of a chalkless course in the form of an envelope run!

Tarzan carefully selected reliable hashers and handed them envelopes. After handing out the first envelope his plan was dashed as no one else cared or accepted responsibility so he handed them out to anyone!

Off we went with vigour and at a blistering pace. Words used to describe the trail include, brilliant, best in ages, amazing and after Tarzan finished talking it up the pack commented. Words like dangerous, knee crippling and simple, bloody trail were bantered around.

Nevertheless, the dedicated team of envelope lickers soldiered on and on and on on until….. big gap because ghost author went back on home and thanks Zorro for carrying him the last kilometre.

Back at MH3 COVID-19 Safezone, the beers were on as everyone returned from the trail, 20 people, no more, no less iterated stories of h1n1, covid-19 and other critical diseased numbers from the past. Finally the circle was called and loosely formed.

The hare was charged along with the Birthday Kids before some serious charges were laid, heard and sentencing delivered to a plethora of people. The song was sung, well I might add and clozed as the monk says.

Dinner was pizza for the people and bbq’d steaks for those few fortunate enough not to be there.

Drinks and a great passage of story telling by the usual suspects topped off a great night.

Next week’s run is at my shed, me, Half a Boat so come along as I think Annie is cooking Turkish food!

 

Run Date: 15th June 2020
Run No #2067
Hare: Zorro
Venue: Mackay Fencing 70 Satellite Crescent Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 20 ish

Galloping through the COVID-19 restrictions a gathering of 20 turned up at Zorros workplace for some well earned HASHING. Not to disappoint Zorro set a torturous run through the outer harbour precinct taking in the new access road & picturesque scenery abounding in this area. How did I know it was picturesque (it was bloody dark that’s how). No only that I saw it in the daytime. Trooping on we soon discovered there was no shortcut to Home. I got a lift after assessing my chances of clambering down a horribly steep concrete bank. Once back at the business end a circle was called with the official down down song for the hare. Some jokes old and new were told. Down downs for Golly (no hash attire) SMUT returning runner after 6 years in the wilderness. ZORRO & STREAKER (hashers birthdays). Then Matches did her absolute magic trick of producing the best home made dips in the whole hash world (THANKS MATCHES). Next copious amounts of sausages, bread, potatoes, sauce etc.were dished up. Then another trump card was played.Zorro produced a tray of mixed chocolate biscuits & licorice all sorts for dessert. I think Zorro is after the best hash nosh trophy. Thanks for a great night, see ya all next week at The TARBOYS..

Run Date: 8th June 2020
Run No #2066
Hare: Live GM
Venue: John Breen Park Malcolmson Street North Mackay 
Hashers: 20 ish

Last Monday night 8^th June, saw the start-up of Mackay Hash, where there was a good turn up 20ish eager to be back in the Hash fold again.

We met at the John Breen Park where Streaker blew her horn just after 6pm and we headed off in the dark with our torches around the Goose Ponds and chattered merrily along the way, something we’ve all missed.

Gathering back at the BBQ area Pensch resumed his position after 11 week break collecting the Hash Cash. Circle called with something about 1.5 metre distancing which meant the circle was a rather large one. Jokes, stories and updates were shared and enjoyed. Pizzas were ordered and enjoyed down to the very last piece. Good on you Dominoes $5.00 value pizzas does the trick to fill those Hashers tummies.

On On

On Sec

 

HashNonTrash for run 2067 or 8 or 9…….. 13/04/20

Following on from an action-packed Easter where everyone stayed home, a whole hoard of non-hashers failed to descend on the White House in Rural View, to find the only Donnie in view was not His Royal Trumpship, but was in fact Streaker’s non-dog Donnie, who was viciously set upon by Mango’s non-pussy, whom she had inspiringly named Kit. Kit The Puss.
Swarming around the anti-Corona Virus spray, a dedicated band of non-hashers failed dismally in social distancing, non-hugging each other with pent-up glee. Things were starting to non-heat up and get a little steamy, so Pensch called the throng to the front yard, where he drew attention to the hill-levelling installation of three escalators, which weren’t there at all. Instead, the throng weren’t told to piss off in the direction of the park, beside which a patient herd of cattle stood quietly moo-ing, wearing their new saddles, upon which the non-hashers would be transported to the true start of the non-run at the bowls club, which had it’s doors firmly closed. Unfortunately, once aboard, the cows decided this was not a good idea, and immediately bucked the offending hashers off. That’s bucked, with a B…..

Deciding that 100 metres was far enough for a non-run, the non-hashers agreed to return to the White House On The Hill and enjoy some delectables. However, on arrival, they found that, being a non-run, there was no nibblies. And no Nosh. And since the HashPiss hadn’t arrived, no drinks as well. All topped off by no dessert. There was no circle, no charges, no jokes, no talk. A superb non-event. Topped off by what could only be described as a stoke of genius by Pensch. A quick phone call to the local constabulary saw a fleet of police cars not arrive on scene, and several Const. Plods cheerily handing out $1300 fines to all non-attendees. A magnificent windfall for our State Govt.

Tired, broke and hungry, our non-hashers decided to call it a day, but were further disappointed when they discovered their cars had all been non-vandalised by the local non-urchins.

All-in-all, Non-Hash at it’s finest.

Geez, I hope this shit doesn’t go on much longer

Pensch……

Non HashTrash #2067 or 8 or 9

57 brave non-hashers didn’t turn up at someone’s place, for what turned out to be the non-hash event of the year. Upon arrival we found non-hare Prick had gone all out with a team of masseuses busily preparing benches for a quick rub down. Massages over, the venerable non-hare led us down the drive, where he explained the trail had not been marked in chalk, flour or gold-plated toilet paper. Amid a cry of OnOn we didn’t set off. At the first corner we found the non-hare had not provided a piss-stop of refreshing cold Coronas. Nor had he provided any Virus Vodka, which could have made up an interesting CoronaVirus beveridge. We then failed to proceed, with Screw complaining his knee was not sore. Delicious claimed her knee was likewise not sore, and even old Knicker didn’t do a highkick with his non dodgy old leg. Fork didn’t quite run a sprint, and Hooker failed to get lost, not helped by Lassie, who claimed to not know the way. Running late, Tonguer failed to appear, but Snot did, having not picked up Blurry for a non-attempt to flee S.A.’s rigid border patrols. Golly didn’t find any non-false trails, and Corgi was quick to not find any either. A large group of nattering harriettes did not gossip, and the rest of the blokes didn’t short cut, not following Zorro to the nearest non-open pub. Eventually, we all didn’t wander back to Prick’s abode, where we weren’t at all surprised to find a team of white-coated silver service waiters not serving marvelously decadent hors d’oeuvres.
We didn’t gather around the portable bar not staffed by red-coated barmen, serving non-drinks of any description. Some of our Harriettes nearly suggested said barmen were not wearing enough clothes on such a chilly night.
Suddenly the non-monkee called for a square, not having a circle. The NonMonk likewise didn’t have a run report, a hare downdown, or any charges. No jokes were told, and no-one said anything. The non-GM had no announcements, and several members fell asleep.
The mob was not surprised then, to hear the non-hare call for quiet, as he didn’t wave his arm in the direction of a vast buffet of fillet steak, lobster, and a full menu of ready vegs and salads, meats and fishes, pastas and various sauces, served by voluptuous serving wenches.  All of which wasn’t there, and therefore not paid for from his own vastly deep pockets.
After not indulging in such a feast, we non-hashers settled in for a session of non drinks not served by the non-barmen, until 11.00pm didn’t roll around, and the hare gleefully told us all a fleet of stretched limousines were not waiting to drive us all home.
Once home, I fell into an immediate deep-sleep, didn’t snore once, and failed to have a throbbing headache in the morning.
All in all at terrible hash non-night   

See ya, Pensch.

                             *******************************************************************

Well what a week it has been! So many liberties shutting everything non essential down. I like all hashers across the world was extremely upset, yet understanding, when MH3 held its last run for some time last week.

Having said that I emailed all of the applicable applicants in my email list and decided to rebel against the decision and hold a virus rebel hash anyways. Well all of the recipients on the email list turned up and what a great evening it was.

For the fist time ever, held the run from my kitchen. At precisely 608pm I called everyone to attention and explained the trail markings etcetera along with the usual puns, short, no hills, mud or water on the trail. I laughed because I called bullshit on that one. I’ve never set a trail without some surprise!

Off I went and it was not long before I found a check, leading me all the way to the coffee table before finding it was a false trail. On back I went, finding the right trail leading me to bedroom 2. I thought at one stage I was on a run set be Delicious because I passed through a downpour of rain in the bathroom and crossed a water trap bathtub before moving onto the main bedroom. Stuffed from the run I took a quick nap before moving onto the courtyard. The jungle caused by the owner not weeding the garden was like crossing a forest and getting onto dark I realised I didn’t bring a torch.

I heard the familiar “on on” call thankfully knowing I was on trail and finally found an on home taking me back to the kitchen.

Back home and not finding the familiar piss truck, I reached into the fridge and pulled out a coldie. Pensioner being absent I also took the money for the night crossing off the attendees.

Some pretty funny conversations and stories from the week were told but I was rudely interrupted by not Mango calling the member to form a circle.

Not Tarzan got me up for a drink for being the front running bastard and last home. Charges were also given to JCF for not wearing hash attire and me for chatting in the circle. I winged and whined dictating I was not Streaker but not Tarzan being monk wins the argument every time.

Executive Lunch will be in the courtyard for those interested, just scratch around the fridge and see what you can find.

Dinner was good, grilled cheese on toast. As usual no desert which again caused an argument, I had to laugh, again.

As the evening and alcohol continued to flow I can’t remember what else happened.

Until next week on on and enjoy your isolation!

On On

JCF

 

Run Date: 23rd March 2020
Run No #2065
Hare: Corgi & Daffodil
Venue: Picnic area at Ooralea Waters, Bakers Creek. 
Hashers: 13

 

HHHi Hashers

It is with a sad heart that I have to tell you that Corgi & Daffodil’s run last night was our last run until all is well again due to the Corona Virus.

It was great fun down at Bakers Creek, with Parkland and new subdivision area along the side of the creek. When I arrived Corgi & Daffodil were scrubbing the tables and benches, so they were nice and clean for us. Then it was off on the run, got dark quickly everyone enjoyed it.

On our return the usual nibbles, eventually circle was called a couple of jokes told, no charges except returning runner Baagoose.

Disposable cups were used and yours truly gave them the sad news no one wanted to hear that this was our last Run, postponed indefinitely.

A great rendition of the Hash song sung, circle closed Nosh was beef stew followed by chocy biscuits. Very nice!

A lot of chatting was done, and good-byes were made 1.5 metres from each other, and hoping we see each other soon.

On On until we meet again at Hash.

Run Date: 16^th March 2020
Run No #2064
Hare: Teflon & Golly
Venue: 2 Geoffrey Thomas Drive Bucasia
Hashers: 15   

 
It was good to come back into an area we haven’t been for quite awhile. No we weren’t the last to arrive. Zorro was trying to find the entrance too. No Tonguer & Prick. Maybe they had to self isolate because they have been away in New Zealand. After six now Teflon called us out to the front to hand over to Golly who had had set the trail for Teflon because she had only just moved into this new address but she had it looking immaculate. Golly said the trail was set on chalk and lime. Off we went checking towards Bucasia and to our surprise it was a Hot Salami, Fill de Jaw and the dogs walking towards us. I recognised the dogs first of course being a Corgi. Fil said Wheelie was self isolating as well and wouldn’t be at Hash for a couple of weeks. On over to the other side of the highway towards the shopping centre we followed trail to a check. I checked two directions but it was the third one that was the trail. On over back across the highway towards where the old dump used to be and then back up and around the streets to view the sun setting. It was getting into torch time for it was near dark when we got back.

The short cutters were back before us again. Lost trail they said.

Chips and Dips came out and everyone was catching up what they’ve been up too including the Social night on the weekend at Malaysia House.

No Tarzan tonight so Mango called for the circle and Zorro took charge. The Hares Teflon and Golly took their down downs for their resilient consistent efforts in keeping us on trail.

No drinking out of the mugs more than once was adhered to so we didn’t pass on germs and the leg hand shake was practised by Golly and Zorro. 

No jokes were told but Pensioner said Corgi should tell one. I could only remember part of the one so I declined but it was – What do you call cattle with a sense of humour? Laughing stock! Charges were called and I thought Half a Boat looked like he came straight from work which he did- no Hash tshirt but he had his Hash cap. He took a down down anyway. One down down left for Delicious for giving up the cigarettes and fixing Teflon’s toilet seat which had a note on it saying it was a little wonkie. The screws were loose underneath and Delicious took the task in hand and tightened them. 

St Patrick’s day on Tuesday so Executive lunch was decided to be at the Shamrock. To our surprise it was pizza’s for tea so before the circle had finished Teflon and Streaker went out to collect them.  No left overs tonight they were all gone by the time Teflon brought out the chocolate biscuits. Last beers were called by Half a Boat who had been up since 5am.

 On On

 Corgi & Daffodil.

 Bring torches & chairs for next weeks run please.    

 

HHHi Hashers

Our first Social event for 2020 was a hit! With 14 Hashers in attendance, those that were there had a great night. Very pleasant evening weather-wise, we were outside so the area to ourselves to get up to Hash nonsense which we did! Food great and BYO…what more could Hashers ask for. GM arranged a couple of Hash games guess the number of jelly beans in the Corona bottle which Golly won! with 165 (there were 167) and pass the parcel which was cleverly done with cards on the parcel to indicate how many to pass the parcel. Fork won the parcel and guess what it was! A toilet roll! which she then distributed evenly amongst us, to which turned into using them as masks, pirate eye patches, blindfolding, nose stops you name it! Photos below for your entertainment!

On On 
Teflon