Run Date:  24th February 2020
Run No #2061
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Slade Point
Hashers: 9

 

9 hashers arrived for half a boats run at his big shed and little Donny,

After waiting and waiting for more hashers to arrive, O well no more coming off we went,

With our heads to the sky, was a wonderful walk, no rain, no mud, no hills, no humidity, and no mozzies,

Half a boat made a delicious sea food cob loaf, which didn’t last long, for nibbles,

Circle was called , down down for hare, a few jokes, was a very quick circle,

Hash Nosh was served, we chatted for a while, then off to home for an early night,

 Thank you half a boat,

On On  Raggedy Ann.

See you next week at Shoal Point Park, hopefully there will be a beautiful sun set, should it be raining it will be back at home 4 Trochus Court Shoal Point 

Run Date:  17th February 2020
Run No #2060
Hare: Wombat 
Venue: 8 Hokins Court Glenella
Hashers: 20ish

 

As we gathered waiting with gusto to start the run of runs with hare Wombat, many commented about the readiness of the fire pit. Just what we need, a bit of heat, said some sarcastic nameless Hasher. She’ll be right, we will use it to get rid of the mozzies, said a professor hasher. We made a perfect circle as we set up our chairs and eagerly awaited instructions. The group grew and before long at precisely 18:03hrs we were called to attention. Geriatric Zorro was a late comer most likely because his Alzheimer’s took him to a run of yesteryear. As we gathered in the front at the driveway, everyone took out their notepads and began writing the orders for the run.

The trail was hot, long, hot and fun. The trail was also rather hot. We meandered like old people at the local crossing at 18:08 with drivers not quite sure if they should brake, slow or accelerate. Our lives were in our hands and although scared some had the courage to yell at the naughty cars. We navigated the crossing by 18:12 and with renewed confidence we fearlessly followed Wombat who was worried that the trail was washed away, led the pace. Under pressure Wombat conceded to the author she could not recall if she had set the trail. We both giggled for a few seconds before we forgot what we were laughing about. The highway crossing scared the crap out of me, but someone kindly pointed out the traffic went past on an overhead crossing. Appeased with that answer and forgetting what I was panicking about I looked at my notepad and wondered what the f#ck do I have a notepad for? As we walked and forgot we were on a trail, we lost the main group who went in search of some arrows.

Back home, we scoffed some beers, chatted about the things we talked about last week, because we can’t remember things anymore. Except for Golly, he had a story about Fords winning the final battle over Holden’s.

The Circle was called and the monk gave the hare a drink, the jokes were excellent even though some had to be explained. Charges were dished out and more jokes were told.

The song was sung and dinner was served.

Great food Wombat but none of us can recall what it was.

Good night in all for those of us that can remember. Oh and by the way, please don’t forget to fill out the CWA Membership Form for those who did not do it last night. See attached. CWA Hash Membership Form

On On
Per
Half a Boat

Run Date:  10th February 2020
Run No #2059
Hare: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Street Andergrove
Hashers: 23

 

The pack all gathered around the back of Flaps place on a very hot, hot, steamy night!

Where the lawn had been freshly cut !! At just after 6pm of we went, with hardly a mark in sight.

With a promise of a piss stop , only a handful found it, and it was non alcoholic !!!!! It’ Hash for Gods sake . After a hot walk

Slowly we drifted in all hot and sweaty !

Nibberlies were had , Circle was called eventually, by Monk Tarzan. Jokes were told, charges were made to God knows who , I  can’t remember ! Happy birthday was sung to Del-lish-us !!! no other noteable charges.

Hash song sung splendidly, without the voice of Pensch!!!

Circle closed,

Nosh was spaghetti Bol. And Lasagna, Picolo tipped her spaghetti into the sauce, just slid of her plate !!!!

And I threw whole peppercorns all over mine, as the lid came of !!!

M &Ms , Jaffas and Mentos were dessert.

Then after much chatting or bullshit talking we all drifted home to our air- con homes to get cool !!

Wombats next week, ON ON !  Streaker

 

 

Run Date:  3rd February 2020
Run No #2058
Hare: Knicka 
Venue: BBQ area at Gooseponds North Mackay
Hashers: 18

18 very good looking hashers (and JCF) gathered at the Goose Ponds for knicka’s Run. Unfortunately he forgot to have the place fumigated for mozzies and the rubbish bin. Lucky he didn’t have to use the barbecue, because it was in no state to use.

It turned out to be an envelope run. He gave the first envelope to me thinking I wouldn’t Be able to do the whole run. It was on to Arcturus Street then left in to Malcomsen Street and on to Glenpark Street. The next envelope was an on back (bastard). Down kenzey Street to Lard Street (or was that Laird Street. Then on to the retirement village,following the path down to the  Goosies. It was here gravity overtook me and I broke in to a trot, luckily it was only 10 metres.turned left and headed towards Will Road, but turned off just before and crossed the Goosies, right and on to Malcomsen Street.stooped at the lights where Lassie pressed the button to cross over, a few decided they would cross before the lights changed. Then run the next envelope was opened and it was the off around the “bloody Goosies again, well for Lassie,Corgi, Shocker,Piccalo and the GM, the rest were smart enough to head back to the cold beer. Zorro was late, so he and JCF headed straight to the bowls club.

The circle was called by the new acting monk, Zorro. JCF was fined for bringing out the rubber glove, then not using it. Flaps was fined for breaking into run. Jokes were told. Circle ended with the song. Nosh was served fried rice curried chicken with mango and chilli chutney.

Everyone then headed off home before they were eaten alive.

See you at 17 Jarrah Street next week. On on flaps

 

Run Date:  27th January 2020
Run No #2057
Hare: Screw & Fork
Venue: 80A Maple Drive Andygrove 
Hashers: 19

 

19 Hashers gathered at Screw & Fork’s joint in deepest dark Andygrove. Trying to be oblivious to the rain, we all squeezed in under the rear porch. Did I mention it was raining? At the appropriate time Screw led us out to the front gate, in the rain, and proceeded to mumble something about chalk marks washing away in the rain. Because it was raining. Anyway, with umbrellas pointing skywards, we set off, in the rain, to the local pub, The Andygrove Tavern. Well, we got there, even though it was raining, and yours truly, having access to the HashCash, procured several jugs of refreshing ale to wash down the rain. I might add here that the manager of said pub is in the running for publican of the year for giving us a 10% discount. $4 off an $18 jug = $14. Huh? I hear you ask….. that’s 22.18%. Well, yes it is, so don’t tell him.
After slurping the beer, including the 22.18% we got for free, it was time to dive into the rain once more, and back to the beer at home, in the rain. Did I mention it was raining….? Well, actually, it seems, Mackay got the highest rainfall in the state, so yes, it was raining.
Back at the ranch, a cobloaf appeared, and quickly disappeared….along with more beer, until the circle got called, and the usual happened….down downs for the hares, a joke or three, general bullshit, charges? dunno, can’t remember, and a rousing chorus of the hashsong….. and then, circle closed!
Fork dived into the kitchen and returned with a steaming pot of rice n curried sausage stuff, which went down a treat, seeing as how it was a wet nite. And then, after hearing stories of an unfortunate woman who choked on a lamington, produced a big pack of ……. lamingtons. No deaths though, as they all got chomped….. more general banter, and then the hoard wandered off home, in the rain.
A great wet night, although a slightly marred ending when we got home, and Mango decided to enter the garage at breakneck speed, crashing into my new motorcycle. Hmmmm. Not happy.
OnOn…. Pensch.

Run Date:  20th January 2020
Run No #2056
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: John Breen Park 
Hashers: 20ish

 

Around 20 intrepid hash people turned out at John Breen Park, to partake in former hash monk Tarzan’s run, Tarboys freshly back from his Elvis pilgrimage, he finally got the rabble away, after telling everybody that there would a piss stop, and pointed towards the gooseponds, and away we went, as I had seen marks getting there and had a good idea where we were going and 4 hashers made the piss stop at Tarboys place, the rest just shortcutted, back at the onon the circle was called by stand in monk, JCF, but was a total fuckup, as the GM was doing the trailmasters job, trying to conjure up runs, so we sang the song and fuck the down downs and jokes, then the nibbles came out, while the main course was cooked, sausages, mash and gravey well done Tarboy, most people talked shit and drank piss till hashpiss yelled last drinks, at which mineself and Fork trolled off for sleepys, a good night ON ON. Screw.

 

Run Date:  13th January 2020
Run No #2055
Hare:  Fill De Jaw, Wheelie Bin & Hot Salami
Venue:  32 Spinnaker Way, Royal Sands, Bucasia
Hashers: 19 & 1/2

 

Well around 19 and a half a baby Hashers showed up to run the wilds of Bucasia. The baby had to come as bubs is still hanging around in Fill de Jaw waiting until the time is right to meet us.

McFanny was the last to arrive at 6.03 expecting to be a whole 7 minutes earlier than Tonguer but blow me down the old bugger decided to be early!

Off we trotted around the hills and dunes of Royal Sands where I hear Harry and Meghan are looking for a new place to live…

Lassie was trailblazer having to be pulled back from running miles extra.

Back to the Hot Filled Salami household where the circle was formed.

2 virgin runners or just some randoms maybe? Anyway they stayed!

Birthday wishes for Golly and the birthday girl Fill De Jaw.

Bad jokes from our special sponsors, Hooker, JCF and Tonguer. Need I say more.

Beer drank from the slimmed down esky.

Lots of lovely French crepes, and a delicious carrot cake for tea!

And then we all fucked off!

Until next week where Tar Boy will show us around the natural habitat of John Breen Park!

On on McFanny

Filly and Golly comparing their bellies & Wheelie trying to understand Hooker’s joke! 

    

Run Date:  6th January 2020
Run No #2054
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Slade Point. 
Hashers: 15

 

A grand total of 15 brave souls rocked up to Half-a-Boat’s new shed in David Muir St Slade Point. Amazingly, Halfa had managed to clear some of the shit cluttering the floor by pushing it all backwards into a neat pile of shit. And Chopstix was busy creating stuff in her Annie’s Kitchen Van, so we knew something tasty was coming later. After half an hour of chit-chat, Half-a-Boat called us to attention and led us to the front gate, muttering something about pink tape/paint and sent us off….. 2 supposed runners took an immediate short cut and headed back to the beer. The rest of us followed the trail, which led us into The Melaleuca Forest/Swamp …. the boardwalk in there led us past actual swamp, until the pink arrow directed us off the path into….. The Swamp! Around about now 17,897,654 mozzies decided to feast upon us, so, amid cries of “fuck Half-a-Boat” we turned back and ran for home. Upon return to the shed we found nibblies of bikkies n dip n beer. Then the Monkee, who had actually turned up, cried out to form a circle. In the absence of The Monk, I took the reins, and doled out down downs for Halfa (shitty trail), Chuck (sometimes runner, ex Moranbah H3) and newbies Brian and Lei, both of whom told us life stories in 3 seconds. Zorro told a couple of jokes, lifted straight from Facebook, and then I opened a bag of goodies, and presented Tounger with a shirt to commemorate 1400 runs, and Mango with a towel to commemorate 200 runs   (she has a bunch more runs, but the records got lost many moons ago.) Around about now the rain tumbled down, so the circle moved inside.  Bullshit over and song sung, we fell upon a Chinese feast of rice, curried chook, beef, vegs, mushrooms, other stuff, can’t remember the names but it sure tasted good! More beers, and then the mob slowly trickled off home.

Now, I now it’s Xmas time of year, but over the last few weeks, numbers have been well down, which means the Hash bank a/c is slowly draining. So, c’mon you slackers, get up from in front of the TV/computer/playstation/kids/grandies/dogs, and head out on a Monday night…..

OnOn, Pensioner

See ya next week at Fil de Jaw’s 32 Spinnaker Way Royal Sands.

 

Run Date:  6th January 2020
Run No #2054
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Slade Point. 
Hashers: 15

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…..

Episode 2054 – It is only Half a Boat!

With the rebellion totally crushed after last weeks rebel attempt by keen Ball Bay Hash to abscond with our MH3 members, we marched to Half a Boats shed at Slade point.

15 eager souls took part in celebrating our victory over the rebel scum including a virgin couple Lee and her husband matey, Bob, George, John or something like that.

We eagerly waited for directions on our next mission and were told to follow the pink paint. That’s where Zorro and I got off track never to be seen again until later that is. Everton else had a ball, best run ever apparently!

We eagerly waited institutions and were told to follow the pink paint. That’s where Zorro and I got off track never to be seen again until later that is.

Exit scene with cheaply made black side swipe effect and intro the next scene.

Once we all returned Pensioner took control bringing the troops to attention, Tarzan where are you by the way? Before long the supreme leader Darth Pensch was dishing out down downs to everyone except me. Probably because I am the Luke Skywalker type character and hero of the story. Well you will continue to let me write these things you villainous scum! Anyway, back to the story. It was a great show of force, pun intended, by Darth to utilise the dark side totally dominating the circle. With that done we sang the victory song led well by me of course.

Once the formal ceremony and victory speeches were delivered in the form of jokes, we feasted Chipsticks style with the best produce the Empire could confiscate. It was yummy Chinese food, did I say it was yummy? It was yummy anyway.

 

Exit scene again with another cheaply made black side swipe effect and intro the next scene.

 

When we finished feasting Commander Half a Boat brought out some Tim Tams in what was a miserable attempt at Imperial Pudding. As my master Yoda said, “You can only see once you have blinded your Eyes JCF”…. I am still trying to work out the relevance of that and furthermore the relevance of it to this story. But hey, Yoda has to make an appearance, somewhere right?

 

Exit scene yet again with another cheaply made black side swipe effect and intro the next scene.

 

Flashback…… Before Darth Pensch started the Imperial Circle, Commander Half a Boat served chips, biscuits and 2 dips which are apparently called snacks.

 

Exit scene yet again with another cheaply made…. Oh you have gotta get this by now stop making me make you all visualise or I will strike you with my dad’s lightsabre.

 

With that said we jumped into our Imperial Cruisers and pissed off….. so until next week where we again congregate for episode 2055 at Fill De Jaw, Wheelie Bin & Hot Salami 32 Spinnaker Way, Royal Sands, Bucasia Filly’s Birthday!

 

Key music (score) and blacken screen and roll credits…..

 

On On

JCF and TJ

 

 

 

 

Run Date: 30th December 2019
Run No #2053
Hare: Matches 
Venue: 12 Mason Street Ball Bay
Hashers: 10

What a record breaking event it was.

Run number 1 for the Ball Bay Tearaway HHH. We waited until almost 1815hrs for Golly but he did not show and we had 10 dedicated hashers wanting to do the Ball Bay circuit.

The hare aka Matches, mumbled tape and oh yeh chalk and stuff and things. With our decisive instructions it was off into the wild grey wander we went. It was approximately 2 minutes into the trail that Huey the rain maker started a tantrum but thankfully it wasn’t for long. We crossed lakes, a second hand car yard and found the most expensive council camping facility ever as we meandered the trail. It even had a piss stop. Port and lemonade which also doubled as the down down piss too.

Back at Ball Bay central we were treated to a wonderful salmon dip, nuts (Ball Bay specials), biscuits and some other dip I can’t recall. I thought is was weird having our meal before the circle but I was told they were pre dinner snacks, something this hasher has never heard of.

We all jumped to our feet as Ball Bay monk Zorro snapped us into a circle. Charges for Matches for setting the trail and a charge for not collecting the tape before the ever entertaining BBM Zorro cracked a couple of jokes. It was not long before we were introduced to a new hasher, Bernadette, who told us her life story. Well she copped a charge and then the song was sung.

We sat around chewing the Ball Bay fat for a while and then Matches presented us with the best ever ham and salad rolls.

They even served sweets which is something every run should have, except mine of course. Well until next week at Half a Boats shed ceeyuz.

On on

JCF and TJ