Run Date: 23rd December 2019
Run No #2052
Hare: McFanny’s Hoose
Venue:  13 Grasstrail Street Andergrove
Hashers: 16

 

12 Lonely Walkers

11 Christmas lights flashing

10 Dogs barking

9   Harriettes

8  Lips are burning

7  Male Hashers

6  Down Downs

5  Rings of fire

4  Tales of bullshit

3  Cob loaves

2  Pots of Curry

1  Pregnant hasher due in the new year.

 

Merry Christmas.

On On Matches

Run Date: 16th December 2019
Run No #2051
Hare: Pensch & Mango 
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent Rural View 
Hashers: 21

 

With what was promised to be a hilly affair, Pensioner explained the relevance of the sex symbol written in chalk on his driveway. For a few moments I thought I introduced some new runners to a swingers group not a hash group! Luckily, when I change angle to look at it again it was a check trail symbol. Anyway, after the safety meeting and briefing we were all released to run havoc climbing Rural View. 

Corgi and some other front runners took off into the distance and it was not long before the group was stretched across many kilometres due to the false trails which was incredible as the trail was only 4.5km. Maybe it had something to do with Zorro finding another invisible arrow or something.

Back at base camp we recalled the activities of the trail with little or no exaggeration whilst a few cold beers were sucked down to rehydrate. 

The circle was called and Golly took the reins as monk. Of course the hare took one for a shitty and rather flat trail, I got one along with streaker regarding culinary opportunities, we welcomed a virgin runner Gary, Susans partner, our Gold Coast mates copped one but the rest of the circle was a blur. 

With a poor rendition of the MH3 Hash Song out of the way, hash nosh was on. What a great variety of food it was too. Well done Pensioner and Mango. 

The setting was lovely to eat the meal and I was really enjoying my burger and sausage when I noticed innocent little petite Raggedy Ann sitting and enjoying her meal. I smiled and thought gosh Golly is a lucky bloke to have a lady like her, when all of a sudden I noticed a fu%*#ng big male appendage hanging between her legs. I fair dinkum choked on my bloody sausage! But then realised apparently its okay for Golly to be lucky to have a bloke like her/him/other also. 

Scores for 2051
Swingers Club Symbol – 10/10
Run – 4/10 – too many invisible arrows and not enough hills
Circle – 5/10 more jokes people
Entrees – 1/10 who does entrees at hash anyways. Oh wait, TJ loved the mango dip thingy so that’s why it got one point, otherwise it would have been 0, like the need to entrees, 
Main Course – 10/10 just bloody perfect and it’s not the hares fault I chocked on a sausage. 
Pudding – 0/10 because what is that anyway? 
Raggedy Ann coming out of the closet – 10/10

Until next time on on 

JCF and TJ 

Run Date: 9th December 2019
Run No #2050
Hare: JCF
Venue: John Breen Park North Mackay 
Hashers: 20

 

20 brave souls turned up for JCF’s masterful attempt at setting a challenging trail.
The usual banter was being slung around, until JC stepped forward, armed with a long piece of gyprock/chalk, started laying down a series of hieroglyphics, and trying to explain what each one was…. Luckily, no-one was listening and with a cry of OnOn headed of into the wilds of Nth Mackay. Eventually, they all came back, from many different directions, all wondering where the hell the trail went! Last to roll in was the very popular Half-a-Boat, who was cheered like a Rockstar, mainly because he had the key to the HashPiss.

The slurping began, and shit was talked, until The Monkee, who actually turned up for a change, yelled “Form a Circle”. Stand in Monk Prick seemed a little amused, as there wasn’t any hashpiss on the table, and so, with encouragement, the Monkee went and got some. Prick immediately went to town doling out down downs to the many unquiet attendees for not being quiet. JCF got his just deserts, as did returning runner TJ, and newby Sue, a friend of TJs. Lassie seemed delighted to be called forth for free beer. Last week Zorro charged myself with short changing him $1.90, so I called him forward, gave him a $2 coin, and a demand for 10 cents change. Zorro quickly produced a 20 cent coin and demanded 10 cents change from me! He got a free beer instead. I think there was more down downs, but can’t really remember. Only one joke was told, by yours truly, and was quickly nominated for “joke of the year”. Well done me. Eventually the song was sung, well, snippets of it really, and the circle closed.

JCF produced a massive pot of sausage stew, along with fresh bread and smashed potato. Musta took him a day or three to get it all ready, and the hungry hoards did their best to scoff it all, but I fear ole JC might be eatin sausage stew for a day or two. With bulging bellies the unwashed masses tried to slurp more beer, but there didn’t seem to be any room left. Slowly in dribs and drabs they wandered off home. Well done JCF!

Bring your mountain gear next week, for a forage amongst the slopes of Rural View!

OnOn, Pensioner.

Run Date: 2nd December 2019
Run No #2049
Hare: Lassie & Tonto 
Venue: 23 St Bees Ave Bucasia 
Hashers: 18

Well another great night was enjoyed by all. Tonto set the run , barb wire, “COWS”, and a sewerage plant or so I was told !! and lots of scrub! and even a piss stop, when we got back there was plenty of watermelon.

Circle was called ,charges to Pensioner, he actually done the hole run! Only because Zorro led him astray and missed the trail.

Forgot to charge Fork! she also did the full run. Congratulations !!!!

Hair Trigger was charged, don’t know what for ? Couple of jokes were told, I think they were Knothead ones!!

Nosh was bought out,” It looked a bit like Xmas” without the prawns , then dessert same deal plus ice cream! at the end we still had potato salad coming out of our ears### Think Mcfanny has a potato farm up at her wee hoose !!

A big thank you to Zorro who made sure we had hash piss.

Hash Song. Circle closed.

ON ON till next week with hare JCF  .

GM Streaker

   

Run Date: 30th November, 2019
Run No #2048
Hare: Trail Mistress McFanny
Venue: @ Delicious’s 117 Tropical Ave Andergrove
Hashers: 23 

Everyone had a great time, and if you didn’t it was your own fault !!

Hooker  took a couple of spills during the night, and now has a nasty looking graze on her leg,

I guess she was sober or so she said !!

Delicious and myself REALLY enjoyed the jelly shooters at the Piss stop! and Delicious is still enjoying them!

Secret Santa Tonto was fun not the usual crap! Although someone stole my xmas pudding, and I now have to build a 6+ CACTUS.

Mcfanny Trail Master was charged . Run was too long, It’s just around the block she says ! 40 mins later!!

Circle was full of charges.

Knothead made a grand appearance, and told his usual piss poor joke!!!!

Oui Oui (Wee Wee) supplied a superb light display!

Thanks Delicious for supplying the venue & to all the Hashers who helped with the catering to make it such a festive feast! 

I think the last hashers went home about 1am

                                   MERRY CHRISTMAS  all you Hashers.

                                                    GM Streaker.

P.S Lots of photos were taken and have been loaded by Teflon somehow!! Not my department!!!####

 

 

  

 

  

  

  

  

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

  

 

Run Date: 25^th November, 2019
Run No #2047
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point
Hashers: 22    

20 plus runners travelled from near and far to the big smoke of Shoal Point.

The run started with the normal everyone waiting for the ON ON or which way

Raggetty Anne was heading.  Getting caught on my first false trail, was back on track

and heading onwards zigzagging down roads. Second false trail was heading towards

the beach.  JCF seeing my direction took it decided to short cut down to the beach with visitors

M.D. and Kennel following along.  Hearing the on back I returned to trail and continued on to see Fill de Jaw and Wheelie Bin flying by in the car running late cause Wheelie didn’t want to get out of the pool I’m with you mate.  On On up the road to the piss stop and the best treats compliments from Flaps thanks. Another little loop and back home to the On On. 

Crackers and dip then the circle was called.  Hare got a score of 4 for his run from Kennel and was given his down down. Visitors were charged and Half a Boat took the charge for the return of the Holy Grail that Chop Sticks just gave to the enemy because they asked for it.  Can’t remember other charges there were jokes don’t remember them either but remembered the club song and circle was closed. Followed by ham, chicken and salad rolls just right for this weather. More beers were drunk and tim tams to finish off at which time I was off like Mum’s knickers on Dad’s day.

ON ON Lassie.

 

Run Date: 18th November, 2019
Run No #2046
Hare: Tonguer
Venue: 12 Hill End Road, Glenella
Hashers: 28

We all gathered a Hills End ready for Tounger’s Run not sure what colour paint we would be running on. But the old Hare fooled us and set a more common run in lime and chalk. All headed out front, where a few more starters met us out front pushing prams good to see they are training new Hashers. Off we set past the hall where they were trying to lose weight or just getting away from cooking dinner. Around a few blocks than through cane this is where we lost Wheelie, some others parted earlier, no names. Back to Pizza Man Cave but before dinner, the circle had to be done some jokes, charges and welcome of new runners to MH3 from Rockhampton/Gladstone Dobba and Hairtrigger and Hash Horrors. Piccolo’s birthday. Wendy had all the pizza’s set up ready for the oven, they looked good even before burning them to eat. Say no more, they didn’t have time to hit the table and they were all gone, everyone had their fill. Drank all the beer, only fruit juice left.

Good night, see you at 4 Trochus Ct Shoal Point.

ON-ON GOLLY.

Hash Horrors x 2

Run Date: 11th November 2019
Run No #2045
Hare: Hooker with JCF 
Venue: 5 Margaret Grant Place Mt Pleasant 
Hashers: 24

 

24 ardent and eager hashers arrived in the bowels of North Mackay for the run of the year. Hooker was in the new abode and the intent was to initiate the venue [ and the neighbours ] to the merits of Hash.

A start was made down the street, round the corner and then via a drain to the Gooseponds. The drain was not wheelchair friendly, so Wheelie had to divert via an adjacent suburb so he could join the run. The Equal Rights people would not have been impressed, but after all this was Hash. Along the Gooseponds, through the Greenfield area, onto the road near A Mart , and then bck to the creek and on home. 

Some points. No hills. No mud. No grass. No fuss! Well marked if you like that sort of thing.

The On On circle was administered by Tarzan, there were a few jokes- Tonguer and Flaps – down down for Hooker’s house mate Simon – a few other down downs, a few charges , a great feed, a few beers and then it was on on home to Mummy. Cheers. Prick. 

 

     

Run Date: 4th November 2019
Run No #2044
Hare: Zorro
Venue: Mackay Fencing 70 Satellite Crescent Mackay Harbour
Hashers: 21

 

An enthusiastic crowd of 21 spritely hashers (including our newly named Chop sticks), gathered at Zorro’s Outer Harbour place of business keen to see what treats lay ahead on yet another beautiful North Queensland Monday evening.

We set out on a path explained vaguely by the Hare who led us to believe the he’d gone to the trouble of setting 2 runs? What the? And facing opposite directions??

I heard people muttering ‘full of shit’ as they wandered off in safe numbers, keen to avoid the barbed-wire-fence-fiasco & swarms of midges they were subjected at his LAST run.

What started off to be a pleasant run, could have had a dreadful outcome for the author – alias:’ Hooker the short cutter’. Such were we absorbed in hashy-gossip, that we took a wrong feckin turn. Thank God Raggedy-Ann alerted Teflon & I to the fact that we were headed in the direction with only one way out: the track of past-run best forgotten, filled with nothing but horrors, pain & misery.  Phew, thanks Raggedy – longest walk I’ve done for a while, 40 minutes a record, but at least thanks to you,  we got back in one piece

We were excited to get back to a yummy dip make by Matches & to find that Fork had organized a Melbourne Cup sweep – turned out to be a pretty shitty sweep really cause me, Teflon & Raggedy  won noting L Pretty sure McFanny, Lassie & Tounger are happy about raking in the money though. Thanks Fork for a great job.

Our honourable monk called the circle with myself filling in as a surprisingly talented Monkee. Chrissy party’s sorted for the 30^th at Delicious’ place 5.30. Charges were given to those-who-must-be-punished (even though our trusty GM choked on hers) & some pretty tame jokes flowed. Never thought I say it,  but I kinda miss the discussing jokes from  Peau Beau & Knothead. A Hello and Good-bye Charge given to TJ & Returning runner JCF. 

Hash nosh was frankly amazing – who ever would of thought you had it in you Zorro? I believe I did miss out on the best part though – some of Flaps creations my favourite Rocky Road and Cherry Slice. Why did I leave early? 

Great night – On! On! Till next week

Hooker

     

Run Date: 28th October 2019
Run No #2043
Hare: Live Hare –  Streaker
Venue: 5/3 Hunter Street West Mackay
Hashers: 24

Winner of the Raffle to raise funds for Motor Neuron Disease – The raffle raised $255.00 in total, cash handed over to Pensioner for the Motor Neuron Disease foundation walk this Sunday 03.11.2019.

1st Prize – Chopsticks (Fire Pig) – Half a Boat’s other half

2nd Prize – Hooker (Large White Sweet Potato) – very upset that she didn’t win the Fire Pig!

3rd Prize – Tonto (Little Car) 

Delicious with a charge

    

 

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ:   “We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you.” Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”; In a Podiatrist’s office:     “Time wounds all heels.”; On a Septic Tank Truck : Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels At an Optometrist’s Office : “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, You’ve come to the right place.”; On a Plumber’s truck  : “We repair what your husband fixed.”; On another Plumber’s truck : “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”; At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee  : “Invite us to your next blowout.”; On an Electrician’s truck : “Let us remove your shorts.”; In a Non-smoking Area:   “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”; On a Maternity Room door : “Push. Push. Push.”; At a Car Dealership : “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”; Outside a Muffler Shop:   “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”; In a Veterinarian’s waiting room : “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”; At the Electric Company:   “We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.” In a Restaurant window:   “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”; In the front yard of a Funeral Home : “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”; At a Propane Filling Station: “Thank Heaven for little grills.”; In a Chicago Radiator Shop:   “Best place in town to take a leak.”; And the best one for last…;   Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”   Next week’s run from Mackay fencing yard Bring repellent and chairs   On On  Zorro