Run Date: 21st October 2019
Run No #2042 AGPU
Hare: Trail Mistress
Venue: Mackay Bowls Club Nebo Road 
Hashers: 29

All arrived at the Mackay Bowls Club for the AGPU, off we trotted on our walk down George Street across to Evan Street meeting up at the Piss Stop Rotunda on the cnr Evans & Milton Sts where a good brew had been mixed. Back to the Bowlsie where the bar was open for all to enjoy a drink and mingle. Pensh took his place taking the $$$ and beside him was Delicious helping with the raffle tickets for the Fire Pig to raise money for Motor Neuron Disease. The raffle is drawn next Monday night 28/10. 

Couple of jokes for the evening until the GM took the floor and started with the Birthday song for Mango & Raggedy for their decade birthdays! Congratulations girls. 

GM went on and put it to all Hashers that the existing committee be allowed to take the reins for another 12 months. This was accepted (some wanting them to take it on for 5 years!) Congratulations to all the Committee. 

We were called into our dinner so off into the dining area where a great BBQ had been prepared and we relaxed and enjoyed. 

The Monk appeared dressed in his attire for a Christening who was Annie (Half a Boat’s other half). Annie did as she was told and knelt down and received her baptism with beer crossed on her head and in her hair and gracefully accepted her name as ‘Chopsticks’. We all welcomed Chopsticks into the fold as she made her way around the mob. 

GM then presented the awards which are as follows:- 

Wheelie took the cake for his expressions on receiving the plague of the pin up girl! 

1. Wheelie Bin – Dirty Old Man Award – for sucking on Prick of the week and snogging all the Harriettes.
2. Prick –  The ‘Nev the Pieman Mushy Peas Award’ 
3. Daffodil -The Nothing Better to do on a Monday Night Award’ – with 48 runs 
4. Blurry – The ‘I don’t go that Far on My Annual Holidays Award’  for making us trek down to Salonika Beach
5. Hooker – The ‘Where do you live now Award’ – for moving 3 times in a year.
6. Delicious – 22Run – ‘best fancy dress’ Hash night
7. Fill de Jaw – Pocket Rocket – ‘can manoeuvre that wheelchair in just about any terrain’
8. Flaps – ‘original packaging for Hash Nosh’
9. Knick Licka – ‘Kleptomaniac’ at our Social night.
10. Wheelie Bin + Fill de Jaw – ‘Ernest Hemingway’ Award for their run report
11. Tarzan – ‘Thanks Bro Award’ for his contribution to the containers for change recycling programme. 

Almost forgot a down down for returning runner ‘Cummalott’ great to see her present at the AGPU! GM then presented to the Mackay Bowls Club with our trophy for their mantel. 

On On 
Teflon 

Photos from the evening below:- 

     

   

        

      

     

    

       

 

Run Date: 14th October 2019
Run No #2041
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Blacks Beach Park 72 Bourke Street 
Hashers: 24

 

On On 

Wheelie Bin & Fill de Jaw 

Run Date: 7th October 2019
Run No #2040
Hare: Delicious & Fork
Venue: 80A Maple Drive Andergrove 
Hashers: 15

15 dedicated hashers turned up at fork and delicious’s run from 80a Maple Drive. There were 3 runs, short, medium and long. Everyone took the short run which was along Maple drive into Peaty street, down to Tropical avenue and on to at delicious’s place for the piss stop and a lovely brew it was too. From there the pack broke in to two with half continuing down tropical avenue to Fernleigh Avenue, then into Maple Drive and on home to Fork and Screw’s. The other half went back on tropical avenue to  peaty street right into Maple drive and on home.

A lot of bs was bandied about before the circle was called by the Monk, Tarzan, as usual it was a very orderly circle, down downs were given to the Hares, Fork and Delicious, as it was a queens birthday run hats were allowed in the circle, Pensioner with his crown larger cap, fork with here lady in waiting hat and flaps with a  beautiful diamond encrusted tiara. Tarzan was given a down down for leaving his tiara on the kitchen table and was awarded the dunce hat. He finished his down down but forgot the hat and the excess beer ended up all over the floor. Jokes were told, song was sung and it was on to traditional British fare, bangers, mash and peas followed by blue (green under the yellow light but I still think it was green even without the light), and vanilla ice-cream. More lies were told and then it was on home.

Next weeks run is at Blacks Beach park, set by Viagra.

On on until then. flaps

  

  

Run Date: 30^th September, 2019
Run No #2039
Hare: Fill De Jaw, Wheelie Bin & Hot Salami
Venue: 32 Spinnaker Way, Royal Sands, Bucasia
Hashers: 24

 

We all arrived like a swarm of bees to a honey pot, with the hope of some exquisite French Cuisine, to find Hot Salami out walking the dogs, and Fill De Jaw directing traffic to appropriate parking spaces (didn’t want to piss off the neighbours)!!!!  Wheelie Bin was up and about knocking over my Cider bottles again, Yep, I reckon that is about a 6 Pack now.

Around 6pm Fill De Jaw called everyone out the front to explain the markings, which was very hard to do without a Hash Horn to bring some order to the crowd, where are our Hash Horns?

On Trail                       Check                    On Back ?  

 

Our Hare ran out of chalk for the On Back, and it was too far to come home on the skateboard.

 

The On On was called, with Golly already halfway up the road and everyone followed after him.  From all accounts the trail was not shitty, but Blo Jo laid claim to being the only one who completed the run, with everyone else being a short cutting bastard.  This earned her a down down in the circle, as we didn’t have enough piss to charge all the SCB’s.

 

Cucumber and Carrot sticks were put out for nibbles, but after seeing everyone’s look of dismay, dips and chips were added while we waited for the circle to be called.  Without our Monk Tarzan, Streaker bequeathed this momentous job to yours truly.  Mango called the circle, and Pensioner copped one straight up, for muttering about women running the circle.

 

Jokes were told by Flaps, Golly and Blurry – hardly a joke Blurr, you must have lost your touch.

Charge for Flaps for losing his fridge out the side of his blue ute and taking off the entire side panel as he drove in his carport.  In his defence, he reportedly picked up a Swedish Backpacker that wanted to have her way with him, and that’s how the damage occurred.  HHHmmmm

No Birthdays to celebrate, Executive Lunch was decided on at Taylors Hotel, Virgin Hasher Elena from Italy – visiting the Hare, took a down down.  Streaker tried to charge Raggedy Ann for taking 2 hours to go from Canelands to Harrup Park, but the charge was squashed as it had nothing to do with Hash.  Apologies for anything I missed, as I was meant to be taking notes in the circle. With nothing further to discuss, the Mackay Hash Song was sung and the circle closed.

 

 Hash Nosh was not Escargot or Coq au Vin, but very nice corned meat and 2 large potato bakes with fresh bread and butter, and a huge array of sauces to tantalise the taste buds.

 

After Nosh, we all sat around yacking on, until the first few left, then the hash piss was away, so we collected up our empties and the rest of us buggered off home.

 

Hope to see you all next week on Monday 7^th October for Run #2040 at Fork & Screw’s abode, 80A Maple Drive, Andergrove to celebrate the Queen’s Birthday Long Weekend.

 

To commemorate this significant occasion, you are formally requested to wear a Crown, Tiara, Court Jester Hat or any other kind of headwear you feel appropriate.  Our most honourable Monk Tarzan will be charging anyone not wearing something on their head in the circle.

 

 

           

On On

Delicious – Mackay H3 Hash Whip

 

                             

 

 

Corgi and Daffodil 

Run…..I can’t remember 

Hashers: yep they were there about 15.  Where the fuck are the rest of you? 

 

The intrepid crew headed off following trail and live hares- very impressive. 

One fury friend Minnie chucked a wobbly and wouldn’t do trail so stayed behind with her wounded master Blurry. Never spar with a girl half your age. 

The other brave fur ball became under attack by a huge mastiff. Hashers came to the rescue and guarded Donnie- thanks Matches and Daffodil bravely fought off the offending animal. 

On we went through streets of Mackay until we miraculously found ourselves back at the On On. 

The circle was called  by our  Monkee- some good- thanks Zorro and some bad- thanks Pensioner jokes were told. Charges and counter charges made, didn’t think I deserved that… moving on, song sung and nosh appeared. 

Yummy chilli con carne and the best cooked rice in Mackay. Thanks Daffodil. To top it off the red and tim tams appeared. 

We may not have had a big crowd however we had a big time. 

On On to next week at Wheelies 

Blo-Jo 

Run Date: 16th September 2019
Run No #2037
Hare: Teflon
Venue: 37 Mango Avenue, Eimeo
Hashers: 18

 

Another sunny day and a cool evening we all gathered at Teflon’s place. The fire keg was ready with shredded paper and fire wood. We waited for Zorro and yes he has replaced Tonguer being the last to arrive for tonight anyway. It was a live hare run so Teflon led us out the front along the beach front and past the coconut trees with the thongs growing on the trunks. Down the easement  heading towards the Eimeo Pub but no we then turned towards the Surf Club and along the front and down onto the beach to see the sun setting. On towards a water crossing on the beach where Golly had put a board for us to negotiate across the rocks but he was in the water steadying us, what a gentlemen. All across except Pensioner, Tarzan and Zorro who lost us at the Eimeo Pub Ascent.  Little Donny had a few attempts after Golly had taken the board away at this stage. Tummy wet and a few shakes Donny was away joining Mini and Tefons dog Penny. On through the streets to Dolphin Heads and around up to where Wheelie, Fil and Ben were waiting for the pack to catch them up. Ben was in training for Wheelie’s care and still to master the wheel chair for they nearly ended up in the drain when a car came and they got off the road a little too far. It was On Home and Delicious had started the fire for us to enjoy. Teflon brought out the Dips and Chips while she was heating the Spaghetti Bolognese for tea. Circle called by Tarzan but no Monkee to get the supplies. Golly came to his rescue and the circle started with Teflons down down for the run. Tarzan called for jokes but no one responded. A down down for Hooker being on the phone whilst on the run and one for Blurry for something that he didn’t do on Saturday night get together. A welcome back drink for Delicious who had been missing for a few weeks on away runs and Ben being a virgin runner. Executive Lunch was decided to be at the Bomerang Hotel. The song was sung and dinner was enjoyed by all, followed by tim tams and chocolate biscuits.

Next weeks run will be from Quota Park, Eastern end of Bridge Road, South Mackay.

On On

Daffodil & Corgi

Couple of photos from Saturday night 14th September for our Social evening. Winners of our cartoon drawings were: – 

 

    

Run Date: 9th September 2019
Hare: Piccolo 
Venue: 82 Grendon Street North Mackay
Hashers: 19

 

We all gathered at the front of Piccolo’s, even the dogs took their marks, Ready, set go!

A set of envelopes distributed among the pack to responsible runners, at that No 1 was opened and off we went to Swayne Street. Turn left down the street into the forest, out again along a drain, God knows where we will end up! The numbers kept the pack together & the pack livened up the neighbourhood!

No 10 read On Home and at that we crossed a paddock and came in through the back entrance to Piccolo’s place. A grand walk.

On arrival, the fire was lit to set to stop the pack freezing to death. Nibbles were welcomed whilst Hash Cash sat up on his top deck and did his ‘thing’ that he does so well.

Circle was called, welcoming charges for Nicka’s friend Bob (who the fuck is Bob) returning runner Two Moons and his son Mr Squiggle and Metro also charged for Hat in the circle. He joined us for his last time this trip before heading to his home kennel in Coffs Harbour. 

 

The jokes were a plenty, coming thick and fast, one seemed to set off another, bit like Fireworks, Zorro then Two Moons, then Pensioner, then two Moons again. Pensioner had to check if Mango got them though, wasn’t that nice of him. He said he would explain later!

2 X Awards for tonight. 1 to Corgi for 1400 runs with a white shirt 

and 400 runs for Nicka pair of shorts. Pensioner then went on to tell us a short story of how the embroidery lady forgot the ‘K’ and now he is Nicka Klicka adding in the ‘K’ on the wrong word! 

Hashy Birthday was sung to Blurry. Circle closed, Hash song sung, and the Hash Nosh was served. The biggest pot of curry sausages, mashed potato as well as rice. Good Hash Nosh. All enjoyed sitting around having a chat with our Hash mates. Thanks to Blurry for filling in for Half a Boat in his absence.

See you next week at mine. You all know the drum about the parking.

On On

Teflon

Run Date: 2nd September 2019
Hare: Raggedy Anne’s
Venue: 4 Trochus Court Shoal Point
Hashers: 18

 

A fairly quiet attendance compared to recent turnouts, but being at Raggedy and Golly’s  it didn’t take very long for things to liven up. The group was called to muster at the front of the house, only to be hijacked  by Prick desperately  trying  to hide the fact that he and a half dressed Tounger were late, by a bloody awful rendition  of Hashy Birthday. After we had recovered from that, instructions were given on where to find the first check and told to fuck off.  Eventually the trail was located and the circumnavigation of Shoal Point began. I was very pleased to find that the topography had not changed very much.  It still has the hidden walkways, sandy beaches, bloody awful rock walls to clamber  up and down desperately trying not to break an ankle or your neck. Just to give you an indication of how rough the rocks were poor old “Blurry dog” had to be carried up the only  stairs. (more about “Blurry dog” later.)

Back at the On on the bullshit, lies and general crap (more about crap later) increased in direct proportion to the amount of alcohol consumed. Eventually  the festivities were rudely interrupted by the Monk calling us to order (????) or disorganized kayos. First cab off the rank was of course was the hare Raggedy bravely stepped up to take the verdict on the run and down down but still managed to offload some of the amber liquid into other mugs. Naughty! Next our three visitors Horse, Jockey and Metro were subjected to sampling the worst beer in the esky. Finally Teflon was handed a mug, I don’t know what for but she deserved it, she was doing it all night.

Just when you think you know all the tricks in Hash Raggedy and Golly  have come up with the best circle stopper I have  come across. Just when the circle was in danger of dragging on (again) this dynamic duo had boxes of Pizza’s delivered under our noses and laid out on the table in front of everyone. Now as you all know there is only two things that hashers like better than talking crap. Booze and Food. With this deadly combination presented the circle was fucked, after a few seconds silence the song was sung and circle closed and the stampede began. Absolutely bloody brilliant you two!!!!

Now as promised “Blurry dog” On the completion of the demolishing of the hash nosh it seems that he was not overly impressed with the evening festivities or his share of the food and sent a message that he thought it was “crap” But good daddy Blurry quick as a flash cleaned it up, which was just as well because soon after that the motorized esky roared into action and I don’t think that Streaker would have had the skills to miss a land mine.

Not long after this the first party poopers started to trickle out but this soon turned into a rout when hash booze for the night started to pack up the esky .

A good run, good night, grate time was had by all.

On on  Nicka 

Written under  direction of Piccolo    It’s her fault

       

   

Is this what you would call an eskymobile??

Run Date: 26th August 2019
Hare: Hot Rocks
Venue: 22 Sneyd Street Mackay
Hashers: 18

 

Not a bad roll up at the Hot Rocks abode for the Monday night Hash, considering the troops away and sick at present. Hottie had the fire going and the pack mingled and fought for start positions under the big tree in the back yard.

The Rocks gave us the mail on how good the run/walk would be and that there were many opportunities to short cut on the way, but all would be useless. After telling us which way ON ON was, we all wandered to the middle of the road and immediately got lost. Zorro was off, way out in front heading towards Streakers place, and that was the last we saw of him. 

A pleasant stroll along with the dogs in tow saw us heading for Milton Street High, via some unknown back alley that had a crab pot slap bang in the middle of it, that caught all us poor buggers without a torch. A few decided to become SCB’s, and headed home. The rest of us wandered around south/west  Mackay and ended up heading home along George St. You Beauty…..piss stop at the bowls club. Alas….not to be, and on on to Hottie’s it was.

Arriving back, the pack was already into the piss, much to the dislike of the GM. The pack was also moaning that there were no nibbles!!!! How spoilt we have become.

The circle was formed and Hot Rocks gave himself a drink and a song for setting the run, totally over running the holy Monk, Tar Boy.

Zorro told a joke about the time he picked up a street walking hooker, which brought a laugh, and possibly there was another joke, but it can’t have been too good, caus I can’t remember it.

Tounger was given a down down for a returning Hasher, after wandering around the outback of Victoria for the last three months.

Numbers were taken for the social night on the 14th Sept, the song was sung, and the circle closed.

BUT WAIT……..there’s more. Setting a precedent, the circle was re-convened, and Tounger was given a Hashy Birthday song and drink, as well as deciding on the venue for the executive lunch on Tuesday. Once again the circle was closed, this time without the song. 

Hot Rocks was already cooking onions on the re-modernised Hash BBQ, and informed the hungry pack to come over and help themselves to a steak sandwich. And bloody good they were, even had a a salad and pepper sauce to lube it down.

More drinks were consumed, while Blurry spent the remainder of the night chasing the dog.

Eventually, just as Hottie was to bring out the Red Wine, Blo Jo spat the dummy and said fuck you all, I’m going home, so off I went too.

Next weeks run (Raggerty Annes place at Shoal Point)will have a new Hash Piss, as 1/2 a Boat is going O/S for three weeks.

That’s your lot for this week,

ON ON…….Blurrrrrrrrrr.

 

Run Date: 19th August 2019
Hare: Blurry 
Venue: Grendon Park Salonika Beach
Hashers: 12

 

Oh what a lovely drive: A quick run down the highway, a look at the coal terminal at Hay Point, a visit to the Hay Point Hotel and then on on to Salonika. Here we gathered for the run of the year; only 12 starters but a willing attitude to tackle the wilds of the South. Blurry gave us the well set run which had road, bush and beach. A little bit of something there for everyone.

No one did the full run and thus there was no piss stop. The piss turned up at the venue somewhat later with Blurry muttering about SCB, but the truth was they were simply too dumb to follow the trail. 

The circle was used to get rid of the piss stop drink, then we had a few nibbles and a main of savoury mince. Enough for seconds for everyone. 

Half a Boat had bought 120 cans and stubbies, so we went at it with a vengeance and knocked the lot off in trua Hash fashion. If you can’t drink 10 stubbies each over the evening you would have to be a weak poof. I managed to get my 10th down as a roadie with my head out the window. All good. 

The evening finished with the new Hash song [‘ From the sands of the Southern Beaches’ ],  a chat then all headed home to Mummy.

Photo courtesy of GM – Proof that Blurry was trying to kill the Hashers! by taking their breathe away! 

Next Run :  Hot Rocks 22 Sneyd Street Mackay

 On On  Prick.