Run Date: 10th June 2019
Hare: Teflon 
Venue: 37 Mango Ave Eimeo
Hashers: 28

 

So a rowdy bunch of 28 Hashers gathered at Teflons beachfront abode with expectations that “she who is super organized” would deliver her usual standard ………..and they weren’t disappointed.

Welcoming lights & a blazing fire set the scene for a great night.

Out the front for the instructions! On On you Hashy bastards turn R onto Mango Ave..

McFanny took the lead with McTavish and Little Ted on a well planned envelope run only to come home disenchanted that clue #11 envelope had gone missing and the mob wouldn’t partake in the extended trail leading to nowhere! Thankfully Viagra had found Clue #11 on the road and picked it up! Those that did all #11 clue envelope run, enjoyed it. Not too long, not too hilly, not too short, but just right! (just like Goldilock’s porridge) 

Those short cutting bastards JFC & Zorro recon they made it to #2 stop but frankly I’m suspicious! And then there’s the author who’s been using sickness as an excuse not to attempt the run for weeks & of course there those that make no attempt any week. Honestly what’s Hash coming too??? Thank God the grog & grub is good! 

The usual amount of bad jokes & bad manners went on throughout a disorderly circle with one of the highlights being that we got to toast out illustrious Grand Master Streaker for her upcoming birthday. Happy Hashy Birthday Streaker X

Teflon outdid herself with the nosh: entree- chips & LBD’s gobbled greedily by both sexes: main-  delicious curry finished with all the trimmings. Finished off with a choice of chocolate biscuits ended another great Hash gathering,  of all sorts of misfits of society

ON! ON! Hooker

 

Run Date: 3rd June 2019
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Ave Andergrove
Hashers: A massive 30!

 

Hashers arrived at Delicious’s place, putting their Tu Tu’s on out the front – too worried if pulled over by the Cops what might be said of them? 

A good turn out of colours too, I might add. Pink, blue, yellow, aqua, red and even a Black one. GM couldn’t decide so chose a rainbow one!

New reflective bands were given out to those that didn’t get one last week, in keeping with our new safety practices. 

Out the front for the instructions, meet at the Piss Stop and Delicious will give us further details from there. She assured us we would ALL make it to the Piss Stop and that we did! Yummy piss too!

Well she had 3 x pieces of paper, broke it down to Small, Medium or Large runs (short, medium or long) and you chose what pack you wanted to be in. All you needed was a person that could read the mud map and a torch.  

Off we dispersed and found ourselves all over the shop! Yelling out from one side of Bedford to the other, BUT lucky we could see one another with our reflective ankle and wrist bands on.

Back at the ranch, Delicious had provided the nibbles which included Fairy Bread of course. 

Circle called, down down for Delicious, as JCF called Best trail ever but still a ‘shitty trail’

McFanny had her ‘Everready batteries’ charged and prattled on about Hashers not being able to follow instructions, JCF said she hadn’t had a whinge for 6 weeks and in the midst the Monk was asking if there was actually a charge involved? Can’t even remember if there was? McFanny still prattling on about getting her Citizenship next Straya Day!

Then McFanny drew us all and particularly Viagra into her story, about not knowing the difference between a Camel Toe and a ……(will leave it there)

Prick was glad to be back amongst the ‘crazies’ with the chatter, bad jokes and tu tus.

Charge for Baagoose as returning runner.

Award was given to Raggedy Ann for 300 runs. Congrats Raggedy Ann. Thermos mug with her named engraved. 

Virgin Runner Gaynor (friend of BT’s) was welcomed into the circle, Destiny dildo was given to McFanny which goes with the Camel Toe story.

Nothing like a sausage sizzle with the trimmings, as 30 Hashers took their turn in the line-up. Good Hash Nosh. Then a tray of assorted lollies & chocs to top a great night off!

See you next week at Mango Ave. On On Teflon 

The Girls – 

   

The Boys (including Donny) 

BUT WE ALL THOUGHT THE BEST COORDINATED WAS:- 

 

 

Run Date: 27^th May 2019
Run No #2021
Hare: Hooker (with assistance from Jenny Craig’s Fucked)
Venue: 39 Lloyd Street, West Mackay
Hashers: 22 + 1 Stray (Thanks Teflon)

 

Well it’s me again writing the Hash report, let’s hope I can remember some details…. 

We all gathered at Hooker’s new abode, some of us eager to have a good old Captain Cook at the new set up, I must say very nice Hooker. 

Then at 6-ish JCF, called everyone together to explain the trail.  Yep chalk, flour and real pink surveyors’ tape, not sure what the difference is.   Off they set to the hhhmmm left I think, with a last comment about “Dead Men Walking” I assumed you were all heading for the Cemetery.

Late comer Blo Jo, scared the shit out of me turning up late, wanting to know which way they went and how long ago?  She later charged someone in the circle for not waiting until Tonguer arrived to set off, uh huh, we would be still waiting!!!

Hot Rocks (fill-in Hash Piss) returned from taking his ute home, to find the short cutting bastards, injured and lazy, all eagerly awaiting the return of the walkers to get into the hash piss esky.  Meanwhile our Host was busy cooking up burger patties to have with the dipping sauces as a nice nibble on their return.  With so many complaints, can’t start the BBQ, mozzie candle won’t stay lit, outdoor lights aren’t working, and so on on.  

Teflon came back with a stray “Graeme” what the fuck is a Graeme, well turns out he is a “Stop Light” from a Hash long ago.  He returned to give us a lecture on the “Work Out Visibly” Campaign IE: DO NOT BE INVISIBLE.  Hi-lighting the dangers of a group of Hashers mainly in black, walking around the streets at night unseen by motorists!  Stop Light then kindly donated high-vis bands for all to wear, which Streaker announced in the circle later we will be fined next week, if you are not wearing them……

Circle was called several times by Tarzan and our returning Monkee Mango before we all managed to show some interest, she was also charged for not leaving the Hash Mugs with anyone in her 4-week absence.  Pensioner was praised by the GM Streaker, for making sure he had passed on the Hash Cash before his Route 66 adventure.

Jokes from Flaps, Golly, Hooker, JCF and others, I can’t remember all the charges, but included one for Spreadem as a visiting Harriette from Cairns H3.  Zorro for having a fastidious employee who decided to wash his Mackay Fencing ute while parked at a petrol bowser.  Piccolo Pirata and another Harriette (possibly our GM) for talking in the circle.  Knicker Licker for showing up 2 weeks in a row.  Tonto for head butting an Esky and Stop Light and Teflon, just because.  Don’t know where the big Prick was this week (Hotty), and we still haven’t seen the return of the “Hash Dildo of Destiny” (Drip Tray). Hash song sung; circle closed. 

To Corgi, Daffodil, Lassie, Matches, Raggedy Ann and Viagra, you have not been mentioned in the trash until now as I can’t re-call you doing anything to be charged for.  Please lift your game for next week and give us a reason to charge you all for something?  If I have missed anyone out, my apologies I must have had one too many ciders.

Hash Nosh was fabulous and heaps of it, Indian Butter Chicken, and Sweet Potato something with rice as well as fresh bread and butter.  Then we all settled in for a good ol’ drink and chat around the back yard.  A late one for a change, not getting home until 20 to 10pm.

Hope to see you all next week, for Run #2022 at my place, 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove.  I expect to see at least 20 Hashers in (2-2’s) Tu Tu’s, and yes JCF you can wear a (4-4) Four Four….

On On

Delicious – Mackay H3 Hash Whip 

 

All gathered at a new address for the Hashers, 8 Palmer Street, a new abode recently acquired by Beer Tap. What a great Hash gathering space it is too! I’m sure that was on the ‘for’s list’ when Beer Tap was making her decision to buy the place.

Out the front for instructions and off we went following the well marked trail. Hashers arriving back in drips and drabs until the flock was secure back in the pen. 

Fire was lit and Hash Cash set herself up with plenty of light to collect funds, which didn’t help when she was counting up numbers as she was convinced there was only 22 and everyone else was convinced there was 23. 

Pea & Ham Soup was served as an entree in Styrofoam cups, to keep us going until after the Circle. Just hit the right spot. 

Circle called:-

Charges laid:- Tarzan charged Flaps – something about Hats in the circle but I’m not sure I got it and I don’t think Flaps did either! but like a true Hasher he took the Charge.
Charge for Nicka as Returning runner. 
Fork charged Blo Jo & Golly, Snot and Piccolo for talking in the Circle. Hashers Talkers song sung (that’s a new one)
Charge for Zorro & Matches caught in a Facebook shot at the Hash Nash kissing. 
Viagra charged Streaker for perfect impersonation of a whinging Pom after her run report last week of his run.

Sincere Condolences to Half a boat whose Mum passed away. He has flown to NZ and as such, GM asked if someone would step us and do the Hash Piss for next week. Thanks to Hottie for offering. 

More Charges to Hottie & Snot for giving GM a hard time. 

Circle closed and Hash Nosh served, mashed potato with curried & slightly chilli sausages, very yummy, but wait there’s more, apple crumble for dessert!

Good work girls, whoever ended up doing the cooking. We shall never know!

On On 
Teflon 

 

 

 

Run Date: 13th May 2019
Run No #2019
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Park at the end of  Royal Sands Bvld Shoal Point
Hashers: 14

Run report for 2019 Viagra 

• Eggs
• Lettuce week 1 and 2
• Tomato week 1 and 2
• Fruit week 1 and 2
• Cucumber week 1 and 2
• Carrots week 1
• Celery
• Green beans
• Red onion
• Brown onion
• Cabbage
• Pork
• Beef
• Chicken
• Fish
• Vegetable oil
• Nuts for salad
• 1kg bacon
• Bottled water
• Sandwich tuna
• Tuna for Missy
• Soda water
• Chilli
• Coffee on special
• Coffee mate
• Noodles / pancit
• IGarlic
• Fresh chilli
• Sugar
• Pasta
• Vinegar
• Bicarbonate of soda
• Short bread biscuits
• Macaroni
• Muesli
• Dishwashing detergent
• deodorant
• Brown Rice
• Soy
• Fabric conditioner
• Clothes detergent
• Toothpaste
• Pepper
• Pink rock salt
• Face powder
• Body wash
• Cat litter
• Toilet paper
• Spray and wipe
• Butter
• Frozen vegetables
• Yoghurt

On On JCF

GM add-on!!! Report

Thanks JCF for the great Hash report!! I’ll take the shopping list when I next go to the shops. I saw Run 2019 a different way. I turned left off Shoal Point Road into Royal boulevard drive which went on and on and on!!! Past a few parks! not there and out of the dark gloomy night suddenly 3 figures appeared, I was there but where were all the others?
Eventually they all trickled in, moaning and groaning about the traffic, the weather and why the hell did Viagra set a run here because it was pitch black no lights, no toilets.
The pack set off minus 2. Donny went with Aunty Piccolo but told me a few things about her on the way home. JCF & Zorro shortcutted and were back in no time at all. Pack returned. Then a shower of rain came and we got wet and cold, Delicious was wrapped in her cuddly wrap all snug and warm. Money was finally collected, nibbles were devoured, circle was a whole lot of laughs and rubbish. Delicious contaminated the Hash Mug with her flu like symptoms and then we threw the can away, Donny peed on Golly’s shirt and then on with a bit more rubbish. The circle closed. We all wanted to go home, Hash Nosh was rissoles, large chunks of onions (Yuk) tomato, home grown lettuce, the toughest lettuce I’ve ever had. And then there was cheese and more cheese. and where’s the black pepper? then it was On On home to our nice warm beds. Oh and JCF, I stopped on the way home to do the groceries, I’ll send you the bill!

On On GM.

 

Run Date: 6th May 2019
Run No #2018
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: 43 Cremorne Street, Barnes Creek
Hashers: 18

 

18 Hashers turned up at Halfaboats lair at his Cremorne shed.

 We all headed off right on time, thanks to Tonger’s early arrival, yet again, I might add???

With a short but detailed pre-start from 1/2aboat and JCF guiding the mob, we headed off towards Barnes Creek bridge, then a loop underneath the said bridge, then back over the same bridge towards the Kooyong, where a certain hasher, who must Snot be mentioned, ducked into the front bar for his own piss-stop!??

The circle was very ablely managed by Golly on his own, due to a lack of any official leadership, for various, feeble excuses. Anyway the circle went well with the usual pathetic, and meaningless, jokes and charges were dished out. Then we were suitably lubricated and fed by Halfaboat, filling both rolls as Hashpiss and Hare simultaneously. A good event which was enjoyed by all.

Hope to see all at my run next week at  Shoal Point, check on your email, for details and map.

Cheers all, and On On. Viagra

Run Date: 29th April 2019
Run No #2017
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Mulherin Park (Paget) corner of Boundary Road and Connors Road. 
Hashers: 23

What a fantastic run! Somewhere between 10 and 1 million hashers gathered in the middle of Paget to complete what was expected to be a typical Daffodil and Corgi long and hard run.
Tounger turned up early which had everyone checking their watches. With a short briefing we were off around Paget. It was a pretty standard run until Hot Rocks crossed a drain which upset 2 eels who promptly attacked him. With that Beer Tap and Drip Tray completed an on back and no amount of bribing could change their minds.
A good mix of road and grass saw the pack on home within the hour. Screw was most disappointed.
Back home we were called to attention by the monk who promptly charged the hares and plenty of others including Dragon Lady and Smigma the kiwi as returning hashers.
The song was sung and JCF tried to keep up Pensioner’s destruction of the song.
Food was served soon after and as usual, didn’t disappoint. Plenty of it too. But the dessert took the cake, Tim Tams yummy.
More bullsshit was dribbled until I told everyone to go home by shutting off the eskys .
On on Half a Boat

Run Date: 22nd April 2019
Run No #2016
Hare: Tonto & Lassie/Committee
Venue: Eimeo Surf Life Saving Club

Hashers: 36

 

The weather for the day had been showering on and off and we were hoping it would hold off for the run. When we arrived at the Eimeo Surf Club the five visiting runners from the Gold Coast were there boosting our numbers. It came six o’clock and no Bunbury Hashers to be seen but after about 10 minutes they arrived. Tonto and Lassie mustered us up to give us the directions for the run. Black Red  & White tape, one for on on , two for checking, and three for on back. A total of about 36 turned up for the run and we headed towards Mango Avenue turning off at the Whittles lane to the beach facing Bucasia. Across some slippery rocks on to the sand. Luckily the tide was right and we followed trail to Sunset Boulevard around to Graham Crescent and back out to the main road. The trail continued on to the piss stop at Shann street park. Only four runners made it to the green ginger wine, beer & ginger beer piss stop with Lassie. The trail went on to Amstead street and into Wall street, down Saltwater street and along the beach front to home I think but with the rain coming in everyone took the shortest way possible.

There was a lot chatter and the Hash Esky was rattling as everyone enjoyed their first beer or cider.

Dips & Chips were enjoyed before the circle was called by Tarzan and Streaker. Tonto & Lassie took their down downs for setting the run, jokes and charges were bestowed. Gold Coast and the Bunbury Hashers were rewarded with a down down for their visit. Delicious advised of the Anzac Day Breakfast and Executive lunch was decided to be at the Mt Pleasant Tavern. The Mackay Hash Song was sung and the Bunbury Hashers sang their song. The BBQ of steaks and sausages, salads and bread rolls were enjoyed by all with Tim Tams to follow.

Beginning to drizzle again we all started for home.  Thanks to Tonto and Lassie for setting the run and the committee for the BBQ to welcome the Gold Coast and Bunbury Visitors.

 

On On

Daffodil & Corgi

Next weeks run on 29Apr will start from Mulherin Park(Paget), corner of Boundary Road and Connors Road. Bring Torches and chairs please.

 

Run Date: 15^th April 2019
Run No #2015
Hare: Pensioner
Venue: 12 Douglas Court, Rural View
Hashers: 18

 

Well, well, well, never let the truth get in the way of a good Hash story.

Run Report requested from Delicious by the Stand-In Monk Snot.  Up the driveway, turn right down the hill, meander around and around, like a herd of cattle following the bum in front. Aaahh but there is a twist, find the something new??? Really, a new sub-division, then up a very steep path, to another bloody hill….  But we were assured the trail was all completely flat by the trail-master Pensioner, or did he dream he had been hard at work on an excavator for the last month in Rural View!

Run scored a 9/10, purely by the fact I didn’t do it, and stayed back with the other 4 injured or lazy hashers, listening to the running commentary from the trail master on the top deck, watching his herd.  Oh, and Tonguer stuffed the entire timing schedule out, by turning up over 20 minutes late, but good news Sweet Meat and new Bub had just arrived back in Mackay 10 minutes earlier and are both doing well.

Fast circle, with the usual charges and jokes, our GM Streaker didn’t miss out either for talking in the circle or being boisterous, or some such thing. Interesting joke by JCF, although I think he stuffed up the punch line.  Someone was charged for stroking Mango’s new ginger pussy….

Gentleman Caller Flaps had a little story, Matches as a returning runner and a joke from Zorro.  Sorry I am little vague, I didn’t know I was being nominated to write the Hash Report until the end of the circle, due to the absence of Teflon.  Executive Lunch for today is at Souths Suburban Bowls Club at 12:29pm.  Daffodil remains the custodian of the “Large Prick”, and where the hell is the “Hash Dildo of Destiny” hiding? The MH3 Hash song was a disaster, that makes 2 weeks in a row, the GM wasn’t happy, but the circle was closed by Snot anyway. 

Hash Nosh was yum and heaps of it, a chicken casserole, and a sausage and vegie dish, 2 trays of potato bake, accompanied with fresh bread and butter.  Followed by home-made brownies with weird blue icing and spiced fruit biscuits.  Good work Mango, obviously Pensch had been way too busy on his excavator to help cook.

See you next week, Easter Monday at the Eimeo Surf Lifesaving Club, please come and say hello to our visiting Hashers from Bunbury WA, on their way to Croc Nash Hash in Port Douglas.

Adelaide H3 have put in a bid against Fiji for Aussie Nash Hash 2021, (they haven’t hosted since 1995) make your pledge via the web site or on the link below, let’s keep Aussie Hash in Oz.

http://adelaidenashhash.com/

On On

Delicious – Mackay H3 Hash Whip

Run Date: 8th April 2019
Run No #2014
Hare: Screw & Fork 
Venue: 80A Maple Drive Andergrove
Hashers: 21

 

A hearty band of 21 keen hashers gathered at Screw’s mini market garden, eager to stride out on a healthy round of cardiac activity. Little did they know that the ever-fit Screw had in fact set a run of truly marathon proportions! “Foller the chalk”, he yelled, whilst gleefully holding aloft a tangle of pink tape. “you might find some of this as well”

Of we went then heading down Maple Dve in the general vicinity of deepest Andergrove. Marks seemed to be infrequent, as we toddled along. Round about the end of the road the markings seemed to disappear forever as hashers scattered in various directions. A couple of staggering elderly gents decided to return to the beer, and I, as a concerned citizen, decided I better help them through the dark night. We managed to return for a refreshing ale, and then sat back and watched as dribs and drabs slowly materialized down the driveway. And slow they were. The final hashers appeared at 7.55pm, almost 2 hours after the start! Most were mumbling unprintable remarks about the hare. The hare, though, seemed well pleased with his efforts.

After throwing cash at HashCash, and demolishing corn chips and dip, the circle was called. The hare got his just desserts (twice) and then all the runners who actually completed the marathon were loudly called upon by a raucous HotRocks and his returning best mate Snot for a very noisy down-down. The same song was sung over and over, some jokes were told by Flaps and myself, then it all descended into oblivion, followed by a half-hearted attempt at the club song.

Fork disappeared into the kitchen, then reappeared with big bowls of rice and chile con carne, which was ravenously gobbled by starving hashers.

Much beery chatter followed, and the evening eventually wound up, well past darktime.

See y’all next week at our joint 12 Douglas cres Rural View., for a much shorter run, with no hills at all at all.

On On 
Pensioner