Run Date: 11/6/18
Run #1968
Hare: The Blurrrrrr.
Venue: Cnr Peel & Alfred Sts Mackay
Hashers: 21 

 

The mob drifted into Blurry’s place by about 5.30.  The fire was going, chairs possied, Half a Boat had his piss truck positioned.  Ready to roll.

He hare called the pack to order, and mumbled something about marks, then led the pack onto the road, pointed us in the right direction, and told us to piss off.  Off we went, in anticipation of a challenging task ahead of us.

Some of the infirm, like Flaps and JCF were conspicuous by their absence on the trail.

What a trail?

What trail? A doddle around the block – must have taken him 30 seconds to have planned it and mapped it.  At least it was well marked.

Still, we set out with good heart, and high expectations.  I think there were 21 runners registered, but maybe 8 or 10 actually seemed to be on trail.

At the On Home, some really nice snacks to get the tucker flowing. And Half a Boat had the beer at the right temperature – just right.  Somebody was whingeing that there was no Great Northern. Wimp.

Then the monk calls the circle.

A pretty sorry lot. Down down for the hare, down downs for returning runners, a call for jokes was met with near total silence.  Someone told a goodie, but my memory is so bad that I couldn’t remember it.  A couple of charges, and Golly was waffling on about a V8 meet coming up soon.

V8.  I had one of those in America – a man sized Pontiac Trans Am, 6.6 litres of brute power. Leave this mob here for dead.  Actually, I am tossing up whether I should get a real man sized car – Dodge Viper – V10, 8 litres of brute power.  But where could I take it for a run at 200 plus km/h?

Enough waffling.

No more business, so the monk closed the circle.  MH3 Anthem.

Then the tucker.  Real grouse.  I had double helping.  Onya Blurry and Blo Jo for a great feed.

One more beer then home to beddy byes.

Baagoose

 

Run Date: 4/6/18
Run #1967
Hare: Golly
Venue: Golly and Raggedy Anne’s Ponderosa, Shoal Point
Hashers: 16

 

The usual gaggle of suspects (16 + Donald) gathered at Golly and Raggedy’s ponderosa at Shoal Point, for the Monday night run/walk, on a cool still night. Golly had erected the big tarp across the garage entrance to keep the chill out, and setup the burner in the middle of the area, for a fire to keep us warm after the run. (No Corgy, so the timber for the fire looked adequate) Donald gave us all a wonderful welcome in his usual friendly way, and it was good to see Streaker back at Hash.

After instructions on trail markings, Golly advised us all that he would not be going on the walk, as the trail was marked so well, that he would not be needed, so off we went. A check at the end of Trochus Crt. had us going left and right. The discovery of a baby arrow, and a call of ON ON was heard, that had us heading down a small lane to the beach front esplanade, so off we went. Blo Jo, having been trained by the Sunshine Coast Hash, rubbed out the wrong arrow on the check, so late comers would be able to find the correct way…… I suggested that she may have been a little premature, and guess what….wrong trail, so back we went and tried to rub out the wrong/right trail marker, as not to confuse the late comers.

Down the highway we went towards Bucasia, dodging the evening traffic of people returning home after a day at work. (Wonder what that feels like?) We went left at the roundabout into Seychells Rd. and that’s where things got interesting. On scanning the options at a check, I noticed an arrow heading in the wrong direction, which made me think that the others, who had headed off down a walkway through a park, were on a big loop back, but I could not work out where the trail went from that mark on. Turns out it was a slight brain fade from the Hare (for which he received a charge in the circle later on). We went around and back so many times that in the end were getting giddy, and sadly towards the end, missed an arrow crossing the road to the correct trail. So on we went back down the highway the way we came, and made it back to the Ponderosa.

It turned out to be a good walking trail, with lots of sneaky lanes and walkways that made it interesting. All the poor buggers with bones in their feet and nails in their toes, who stayed at the Ponderosa, and did not walk missed out on a great walk on a very pleasant evening.

Back at the On On, marinated chicken wings and garlic spuds were served, as we gathered around the fire. After a little chit chat, Golly formed the circle and gave himself a drink for being the Hare. Radish received a welcome back drink, along with Half A Boat for not having any hash gear on. He tried in vain to move the blame to his beautiful wife for not bringing his Hash gear, but it was voted unanimously that he was big enough to dress himself, and he should take the drink. Lassie led the pack with a down down song of “Bull shit, bull shit, it all sounds like bullshit to me….” Jokes were told, and the history of how Pensioner became interested in model trains was explained.

Teflon also received a drink for some misdoing that I cannot remember, and don’t believe, caus nothing sticks to Teflon, so it must have been a fabrication. Lastly but far from least, Zorro was dealt a drink for not missing an advertising sign that was removed from his business the previous week. He enjoyed the drink so much, that he left it at Gollies that night, so that he would get another drink at Hash next week.

After the official notices and usual information was dispensed with, the circle was called to an end, with a very very short rendition of the club song (We thought about it but rejected the idea). Golly then put his cook’s hat on, and helped by the wonderful Raggedy, whipped up an excellent feed of tender steak and capsicum/egg burgers, followed by desert of chocky biscuits that Raggedy had baked up that afternoon. (looked almost like Tim Tams).

This story is turning out to be longer than the actual evening, so with that, thanks to Golly and Raggedy for a wonderful evening, and don’t expect anything like that from me next week. Thanks especially to Golly…. Set up the venue, set the trail, ran the circle and cooked the tucker…….great effort.

Next week’s run from Blurries abode on the corner of Peel and Alfred Street. Bring a chair and see you there…..

ON ON……..The Blurrrrrr.

 

Run Date: 28/05/2018
Run No #1966
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 70 Satellite Crescent Mackay Harbour
Hashers:12

 

We all arrived at Zorro yard, a Bakers dozen of runners. To our surprise Mackay Fencing had gone to a lot of trouble for the night by putting a new gate in and a wind break so all us old Farts did not have too far to walk. He brought out the Board room chairs but not the table, thinking one of us would cut HHH into it.

We gathered out in front of new gate and given instructions marked in pink paint, chalk, a piss stop if you had money. So off we set heading towards beach, marks were few and far between, he had us walking a around looking lost not sure where to go, some headed back some tried to make a run out of it but went back to the PISS.

Nibbles were served crackers and tuna dip boiled spuds which went well with the tuna dip.

Circle called by Monkey usual down downs – hare, New runner Leanne Who has just scored a fulltime job DT had it for her with Beer Tap. Circle closed. Food brought out Rissoles some with a bight to them some mild for the pussies very nice not many left over for smoko next day.
It was suggested that no one was to go home until esky was empty, but we would still be there all night. Great night, great food, good company, well done Zorro and Matches.

GOLLY.

PS see you next week will be no sand hills.

Run Date: 14/05/2018
Run No: #1965
Hare: Drip Tray & Knicka
Venue: 17 Fairmeadow Drive Mt Pleasant 
Hashers: ?

 

Run was from a new location in Fairmeadow drive Mt P. Knicka sent the mob off round the back of the old bunnings building

Then right up Malcomson Street towards Mt P Tavern, I sort of got side tracked there on.

Back to DT new abode with a sparkling pool which looked so inviting, but I’m thinking water temp would have been warmer that the outside temp

Along with the chill factor this scribe decided on giving a quick dip for another time.

Pumpkin soup [take 2] was inhaled by the returning tribe. What happened to Pumpkin soup No 1? 

Down downs to ??? don’t remember other than 1 to Tonguer for over achieving and bring MH3 into the news

Next week run from MF at the Harbour, bring a chair and mozzie fuck off.

Good luck to the hashers heading to FIJI this week, is the cannibals over there still?

The GM will make a guests appearance back in Mackay next week so special TGIF drinks somewhere? coming up

With the much-missed GM. Has this GM missed more runs than Knot head when he was GM?

Attached is a couple jokes for you wine toting people

On on 

Zorro

Run Date: 14/05/2018
Run No: #1964
Hare: Tounger
Venue: 12 Hill End Road Glenella
Hashers: 23

 

The night started off with 23 intrepid walkers. We walked up hill and down dale. As hard as it was for some, congrats must go to wheelie for sticking at it through hills, grass and water obstacles! We got back to a feast of tonguas pizza varieties. It was hard to beat the rush but I’m sure everyone went home full as a goog. The circle had some undeserving down downs where apparently being on back order is a no go. The jokes were on the poor side, so a big effort is required for next weeks joke. All in all a great night was had by all and especially for Golly who won the raffle. Next weeks run is at DT’s 17 Fairmeadow Drive Mount P. Park at the back of the old Bunnings and walk down the path it’s the house next to the park! See you all there.

On On
Beer Tap

Run Date: 07/05/2018
Run No #1963
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove
Hashers: 13

 

Hash Trash….. Delicious, run # 1963, or 4, or was it 2…..

13 Intrepid Hashers turned out to brave the tumultuous weather that only a Delicious run could produce….. and because of this 5 slackers decided to stay right there under cover, and avoid the expected downpour. The remaining brave 8 listened briefly whilst Delicious waffled on about chalk n flour n checks n shit….. until we’d heard enough and headed off, leaving her still waffling.

Arrows led us along every drain in Anderfield, until we reached a smallish housing estate filled with smallish houses, in the wilds of Beaconsgrove, and there, plonked in the middle of it all, was delicious herself, sitting in the back of her wagon, surrounded by port n lemonade and a big tin of chocolates. A slurp and a chomp, and off we set again, admiring the sights in the dark, and eagerly awaiting the deluge, which, amazingly, never came. Finally found an O.H. so O.H. we went, where we found previously mentioned slackers busily slurping away. Daffodil proved that having half an arm cut off, and half a leg skin grafted, didn’t stop him from imbibing, hospitals please note: immediate consumption of piss after surgery is highly regarded.

Out came the Hash spuds, as much shit about the Keppel weekend was spread, until the Monk, having just rolled in from Rocky, called the circle. First order was to present a down-down to Rhonda and Helen……yes, we were all confused about the newcomers, but….. turns out it was Paw Paw and Mango using real names! Delicious was next, for setting such an arduous trail, and she got another, but I can’t remember what for. Mango was also called forward again, but I can’t remember why. I also got some free piss, but can’t remember why, Knothead told a woeful tale, which earned him a down-down, then awarded himself another, for being the birthday boy. Several other things happened, but I can’t remember what, then I was asked to write this report, but I can’t remember why.

Finally the circle closed after a ridiculous attempt at the hash song . And we settled in to the beer, whilst Delicious disappeared into the kitchen to rustle up some hash grub. Which turned out to be a blast from the past….. Hash sausages in bread!! Yay!! Ruined, unfortunately, by the addition of green and red salad.

More banter and bullshit, then Screw and Fork decided they had to go to bed, after being awake for 3 days at Keppel. This set the scene and the rest of us drifted off, leaving Delicious to clean up the mess. Which is only fair.

Tonguer forgot to come this week, but we’re all going to his place next week. Hope he remembers to light the pizza oven.

ONON
Pensioner.

 

Run Date: 30/04/18
Run No #1962
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: 8 Martin Street North Mackay
Hashers: 24

 

Obviously with the anticipation of many courses of Chinese food on offer as hash nosh, it was not surprising that the Hashers came out of the wood work for this run…..

We gathered amongst the swarm of midgies at the boat moored behind 8 Martin Street amongst the mangroves, waiting for Half a Boat to send the walkers on their way.

The rest of us stayed behind to try and get all the shit and chairs up to the top deck of the boat, wondering what happened to the bloody gangplank!!!!

A balmy night with a light breeze, kept the little bities away, with a waning full moon in the night sky, what a glorious location for some fun and feasting.  Once all were safely on board, a serving of crab bisque in cob loaves and spring rolls were offered as a teaser before the call of form a circle.

The hare was toasted, and also charged for over achieving by his ice making skills in the esky (see picture below).  Mango (with the help of McFanny) gave the run report, saying it was well marked and an enjoyable walk.  Jokes were told by Blo Jo, Tonguer and Prick.

Streaker was charged for shitting on her shoe, and then trying to cover it up by putting mud on the other one.  Flaps as a returning runner, and his upcoming 70^th Birthday this Saturday.

JCF confirmed after spending many sleepless nights, he had sent in his resignation, to be effective from the 8th May.    However, with a lot of afterthought and persuasion he has decided to rescind his resignation, which was motioned by Pensioner and seconded by Golly. He has also asked that the Club work together as a team and to not participate in anymore fighting.

Executive lunch Malaysia House, no wait they don’t open on Tuesdays, so BNW Asian it is then.   TGIF will be on Great Keppel Island for all those attending Cutlery’s 1000th Run.

Next week’s run is from my place 117 Tropical Ave, so probably better bring umbrellas?

Finally, the song was sung, and the circle closed. Then the promised glorious food was served, and Annie most certainly did not disappoint.  Chinese Chicken and rice, beef strips, chicken stir fry, coca cola chicken, Singapore noodles, fried milk and fried bananas.  I think we had to roll most people of the boat to leave, a big thank you to Half a Boat and Annie for their hospitality.  I think it might have to be back to traditional hash snags and bread next week, to bring you all back to reality

 

.

On On to the Island

Delicious 

Run Date: 23rd April 2018
Run No #1961
Hare: Nicka Licka
Venue: Unit 6, 16 Dolby Court North Mackay
Hashers: 20ish

 

Quite a number of eager Hashers assembled at Knicka’s abode,can’t remember exactly how many, DGAS.

Tonguer was remarkably early, so off we all trotted at 6:00 pm, right on time.

The trail lead off towards the Goose Ponds and along the pathway beside the ponds, and circled up Norris road and back to Prick’s favourite haunt for a quick piss-stop at the BBQ area, before returning home to the final piss-stop back at Knicka’s place, for nibblies and a cold bevie from the esky.

After Hash-cash collected his “NOTES ONLY” dues for the run, Zorro inadvertently upset our returning runners, Fork n Screw, by invoking the new “No Coin Rule” which unfortunately sent Fork n Screw off in a huff? Not sure why that happened, but???

Anyway! The circle was called, and the usual pointless charges were handed out for returning runner, Runny Poo, Cess Pool got one for paying too much for a beer at the Hash bowls tournament, and Tonguer got one for over acheiving by his timely arrival. What th fuxa tom and Fill De Jaw for failing to supply an impromptue joke on the spot, And there maybe a few more for which I can’t remember the exact reasons.

Three Hashers received a present for achieving their milestone runs, namely Teflon and myself for 200, and Tarboy for an amazing 500 runs attended, well done for that, good thing someone keeps count, Hey

             

 

 

After all the song n dance, we all enjoyed a very delicious, (not Delicious) hashnosh of Knicka’s curry chicken stew with special rice to boot, that went down a treat, thanks Knicka.

I think next weeks run is at Half a Boat’s boat, but it was not known were the meeting point will be,

But I’m sure that the Monk will soon find that out, and relay that to the masses in time.

That’s all from this stand-in run reporter,

On On 
Viagra. 

 

Run Date: 16th April 2018
Run No #1960
Hare: Wheelie & Fill De Jaw
Venue: 21 Spinnaker Way Royal Sands Bucasia
Hashers: 19

 

19 curious runners turned up to see what sort of run Willie was going to set for us, but once the run started it soon became obvious that Fill De Jaw ( a secret marathon

runner ) was responsible. It was an unusual run, because all those who went on the shorter trail got back much later than the pack that took the longer one. There was a distinct smell of short cutting in the air when the 7 trail followers finally made it back. I expected banter from the short cutters but, No, the main topic of conversation from the ladies was about Fill De Jaws partner Tom. There was sighing and panting none of which could be contributed to the exercise they did on the run,

    

There were the usual snacks and slurping of  beverages before a large gentleman dressed in a brown tent swept through our congregation and ordered us to line up in a straight circle Huh ???  After the usual confusion and minor defiance we got down to nights agenda. Drinks were handed out to the hairs, Tom, a Airlie import who didn’t drink, Beer tap who did but no hash attire, Golly for 300 weeks attendances (runs??) a few others but I was busy talking by then and cannot remember. Only kidding, Cody was called out and ordered onto his knees in front of the Monk. “Shudder”. But decorum was maintained and the naming ceremony proceeded. Henceforth he is now known as “Icing” After a few bad and good jokes a few snippets of information the hash song was butchered and the circle closed.

 

“FOOD”  After some sidelong glances and a few questions, it was established that it wasn’t frog’s legs or snail’s so the seagulls swarmed in to beautiful meat dish cooked in buckets of red wine  Hic  Very Nice.   Not long after that the exodus started but with a different twist, this time they had to negotiate some very erratic dart throwers. I don’t think anyone was hurt but that was by good luck not good management.

 

On on

Nicka

Run Date: 9th April 2018
Run No #1959
Hare: Hooker & JCF
Venue: 4 Pharlap Parade Ooralea
Hashers: 26

 

No run report for this week.