Run Date: 27th February, 2017
Run No #1898
Hare: Shizza
Venue: Fischer St  Bucasia
Hashers: 21

21 intrepid, lethargic, or Oh its Monday again, hashers assembled for the first and last time at Shizza’s for the usual saunter around the suburbs. After a long winded explanation from Golly about what the trail was set in, he was absolutely no help what so ever when he pointed at the HHH sign saying there is the start now fuck off and find the trail

After much milling around in circles some idiot found the trail and bellowing ON on took off in the direction of Shoal Point.  Like good little lemmings we dutifully followed the leader away from the Eskeys    Will we never learn?

A short distance down Bucasia Rd we did a sharp turn to the left and headed west along a track beside a field occupied by some very bemused cattle who, from the expression on their faces, thought we were a pack of bloody idiots.  Which was probably correct because the track we followed was trying to beat the Nullarbor’s record for being the longest straightest track in the world. Eventually we did a right turn and circumnavigated some suburb, back to Bucasia Rd then on on back to the booze. And what a pathetic sight that was. A pack of winging hashers all close to tears because the booze was locked in my car.  Sorry chaps & gals Hahaha maybe i will have stopped laughing by next week.

It was fairly quiet, except for the sound of guzzling, till the circle was called.

As I had no idea that I would be bullied, strong armed and brutalized into writing the hash trash I really did not take much notice of the waffle going on in the circle. All I remember is that there was usual selection of good and bad jokes and the following received Down Downs.

 

Shizza & Golly    for setting a good and well marked run

Shizza                    for being a wimp and pissing off

Sweetmeats x3 for being a very naughty girl

Shocker                                I don’t rely know

Hot Rocks x2      why bloody not

Viagra                   the list is a long one

Nicka LIcka          totally unjustified just collateral damage

At last the Mackay song was sung and put us out of our misery

Nosh was served and the swarm of gulls swooped in for their fill and all was quiet for a while. Just as the last of food was being scraped from plates and the noise level was rising, Shizza pulled of a master stroke and produced a pav & cream and fruit.  That buggered them!

A few more drinks a lot more lies and the evening wound down

Thanks to Shizza and good luck up in Airlie I didn’t swear to much Shiz so U can probably read this.

Good run, good food, good night.

On On

Nicka Licka

Run #: 1897
Hare: Lassie
Venue: Unit 5/ 8 Hague Street, East Mackay. ( Yaaa The Bright Side)

Run report –  20 Feb 2017

After many hours of journeying from the bright north of mackay an eager group of reprobates assembled in downtown dark side.

We were eagerly greeted by a chilled Lassie who while preparing a cordon blue snag and rissoles selection was freezing her tits off using free powered aircon set at sub artic levels.

Lassie confidently explained the run, everyone nodded agreement then proceeded to wander off in a variety of directions. It soon became clear hanging back has its rewards and allowed the runners to veer off and return from on backs.

Golly did an oscar winning performance of a dying swan early in run and briefly gained concerned sympathy from a few female runners. Raggety knew how to handle him though and we all ignored him after that just like she did.

The run went on for days with a pissstop just before we all dropped from dehydration., enabling us to limp home.

The circle revealed our monk clad in his fetching new gown and sporting a rather fetching new hair do to match.

Finally, after many weeks of wanting to with Jenny …..the deed was done. Not that deed you grubby ferrets!!!

Jenny became Wunshu.

At times listening to monks long verbal diarrhoea which we gave up trying to understand he appeared to be about to name her an ass. Anyway Wunshu was named and welcomed to mackay hash with a healthy tot of tun.

The usual noisy banter and charges followed and at last circle closed so we could get into the lovely food.

That’s it. Oh and Golly, next time you’re looking for sympathy, it is between shit and syphillis in the dictionary.

On on. Shizza.

NEXT WEEKS RUN
Run #: 1898
Venue:  Unit 2/8 Fisher Street Bucasia
Hare:  Shizza
NOTE:  DRIP TRAY please pay attention to the goings on at Shizza’s run, caus you have to provide me with the run report. Ta.

Run #: 1896
Hare : Nicker Licker
Venue: Oui Oui’s place , Andergrove
Date: 13-02-17

 

Hi Hashers,
Well a small but eager group turned up for run number 1896. Slightly after 6 we moved out the front ready for our instructions. Heading off together wasn’t long before the pack stretched out up the road which we all ended up disappointed for doing so well when Tonto and JCF lagging behind scored a free can of double strength Jack Daniels off a young man whom JCF is hoping to convert into a hasher. We continued on with walkers going home when they had enough of the heat but we did have a few completing the whole run.

JCF was very eager to do a christening but with a few walkers taking so long to come home she was gone and the opportunity was lost we might have to have a christening before the run to catch her. So amongst the mozzies mozzies and more mozzies we had nibbles and a chit chat then circle was called.

With monkee (Flaps) and stand in monkee (Golly) both missing in action JCF took control on his own. Receiving a high score except we would have liked air con, the hare Knicker Licker was charged. Shocker was called for a joke and after admitting to just reading 100 of them that very day and could not remember one of them was rightfully charged and Tarzan also come up empty and charged. Shocker was charged again I think for not using rope to keep runner from leaving before she could be christened. Screw was fined for wearing of hat. Now I think Sweet Meat was charged twice but can remember only the one charge of not knowing where next weeks run is after just signing off that she knew where it was must have been a gold fish moment. Tarzan lead us into our Club Song and circle was closed.

Chicken and potatoes were served with bottles of Knickers chutney and jam. With us all knowing how warm Knicker likes his jams and chutneys Screw tested and decided it was too hot and it was decided he must have had the chilly jam, then we worked out it was the chutney which Sweet Meat says the chutney was not hot, so JCF test tasted both by the spoon full. Sweat Meat felt that neither was that hot called us all sooks and to harder up so we went home.
ON ON
LASSIE.

Hope this is enough details for you Blurry!!
(When is it ever enough Lassie?)

 

Run #: 1895
Run Date: 06/02/17
Venue: 10 Barons Drive, Andergrove
Hare: Knot Head
Hashers: 21

Hi Hashers
Following is an unbiased, truthful and factual account of the activities which occurred at 10 The Barons Dr
last Monday night. ????????? Really ?
After the staggered entrance of 21 hashers, the run got under way at the remarkable time 6.12 pm. We set
off down The Barons Dr to a check, left into Investigator St, left into Norfolk Dr to a halt at a false trail.
It was all very confusing but I have figured it out, knowing Knot Head he had probably ran out of beer, so he quickly
scribbled a “on back” scrambled through the hidden lane, back home. picked up more beer, ambled down to the
check, forgot the first trail and started a new one going the opposite direction down Investigator St. We continued
down the St until he got sick of that and did a ninety degree turn into Ananda Dr and into Fatnowna St. At the roundabout on Tropical Av Screw sent me on a wild goose chase down a drain then snuck off with the what was left of the pack in the other direction.
Now all alone and confused, I did what any self respecting Hash man would do, I sniffed the air to ascertained the direction of the On On, said “fuck it”, and took off at a much faster pace back to the Eskey’s . If want to know about the rest of the run ask someone else.
After the usual bullshit, lies and beers, some arse hole stuffed it up and called the circle.
Then some pretty terrible jokes, and Knot head didn’t even open his mouth, the usual round of down downs

Knot head Hare
Radish & Zoro Something about absent GM’s
Boom &Bust Returning runner
Pensioner Still Living or something
Lassie WHY NOT
WHP Not writing Hash Trash

There was something about the Red Dress Run but the date didn’t match so more about that later, any thing else I can’t remember because I was talking by then. Another bloody awful rendition of the hash song and circle was closed.
Bloody great, “food” Some pretty flash gourmet sausages, fried onions, cheese, lots of sauces with fresh buns and garlic bread.
A good night, good food, cold beer, a shit run :- Perfect

On on

Nicha Licka

Next week run 60 Wattle Street, Andergrove

Run #: 1894
Run Date: 30/01/17
Venue: toungers hillside, the Genella
Hare: Tounger
Hashers: ?

No report

Next week run 10 The Barons Drive, Andergrove

Run #: 1893
Run Date: 23/01/17
Venue:  BBQ area at North Mackay Bowls Club Gooseponds
Hare: Prick
Hashers:  ?

Prick run [I got piss at lunch and didn’t  make it ]  the mob 30 fit hashes  had a walk around the goose ponds , then had a lots beer and few sags, and talk a lot shit ,on home . tounger

Next week run 12 Hill End road ,Glenella.

 

Run #: 1892
Run Date: 16/01/17
Venue:  4 Trochus Court Shoal Point
Hare: Golly – the Birthday Boy
Hashers:  35

Oh what a hot January night. The air was chocca with mozzies and the troops were hot to trot. Golly rounded up 35 for his birthday run and that included most of his kids and some of the grandkids. Most of the big kids were there too.

Off we went along the bitumen, into the scrub, through a few sandhills, along some beach and then onto the foreshore. Finally more beach, a foreshore piss stop and then on home via the road. The circle was extended, with multiple down downs and a few of the usual jokes and bad language. And in front of the kids! This was followed by the club song and then started the feed of the year- multiple entrees, a full barby, cake and fruit. What a blow out! There was a yard of piss and when Golly threw out the last at 1230 there was bugger all left. A great night!!

On On Prick

 

 

Run #: 1891
Run Date: 09/01/17
Venue:  12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Hashers:  24

 

Hi all

We all turned up at the x-monks place where there is not a flat area to be seen. I wasn’t sure it was the right place as when I pulled up, it looked like a group of Back packers picking passionfruit all heads in the vine on closer look was all the old pensioners trying to supplement their pension .

We headed  out front where the hare gave us some envelopes with numbers on them and proceeded to tell us that there was a note inside and to be opened in the right order or we would get lost.

No 1 opened head east then turn left  till you get to a H-H wait for everyone to catch up. WHP decided to have his own  run and away he went. No 2 envelope was opened and so on. At one stage we went down a path and some Harriet’s were hanging around Mango half way down the hill I think she must have had some inside information because the rest off pack turned around and went back up hill. More envelopes past a watering hole without stopping 2^nd week in row WTF is going on, then to Coles than Woolworths all shutting down for day. So off to Porters we headed some should have told hare he was a year late back across Bucasia Rd  up more hills and back home.

Nibbles got devoured and washed down then the circle called. Some jokes told, some were I think passed on from Knot Head or Peabeau. They were sick than the pimple sucker came out.

Charges were given don’t know what for, but if you received one you should know. Why, Old returning runner Jock Strap.

More jokes song sung circle closed. Grub came out pasta dishes very yummy yummy. Well done  Mango.

More bull shit  more beer drank odd passionfruit eaten. Made up for a start off a another

Good hashing year.

ON_ON  GOLLY>

Run #: 1890
Run Date: 02/01/17
Venue:  80A Maple Drive, Andergrove
Hare: Screw & Fork
Hashers:  10 – 30

 

10, or maybe 30, or somewhere in between, excited hashers turned up at Screw & Fork’s abode on the brightest bright-side. Strolling around the back into Screw’s personal manicured botanic gardens, it quickly became clear that Screw has waaaayy too much time on his hands! A can of round-up will clear out all that flowering stuff and greenery, and leave a nice clearing to enjoy a beer or two.
On to the run….. Screw led us across the road and announced the circle on the ground was the start and finish. Great. Let’s head back over the road for a coldie! But no. Screw insisted we walk up the road to an arrow which marked the true beginning. I figured if I stuck close to Screw I’d avoid any false trails. Well, that kinda worked, as he headed left right straight ahead left left right again….at one stage we passed The Grove tavern, but no piss-stop occurred…. We just kept on goin…. even as most of the pack dropped off and short-cutted…. more left right straight ahead, bloody hell, finally we stopped touring Andergrove and arrived back home with smouldering sneakers!
On in to a cold beer or two, some bikkies n dip, then Fork bought out a pile of hot nibblies, which quickly disappeared, washed down by more brew.
Stand in Monkee Golly called the circle to order and JCF The Monk hobbled forward on his blistery old leg and began with some tired old jokes, then administered a Tun to the hare for daring to set such a magnificent trail. Some more tired old jokes. Another Tun was forthcoming for newbie Pam, who told us her life story in a record 1.3 seconds. Tonto took the Tun on her behalf, muttering something about Pam having introduced Lassie and himself some years back…… grumble grumble…..
a few more slightly improving jokes, and then….
I received a Tun for having taken in a stray doggie on NYE. Screw’s little mutt pricked her ears up at that and scrambled for safety under Fork.
Corgi got a job! And a Tun to celebrate.
Golly got lost on the way to Screw’s, and was rewarded with a Tun.
Chuck had a Tun for being a returning runner.
Breastroke had a birthday drink (67 according to WHP)
and finally, Shizza had a Tun, just for being Shizza.

Announcements for 12.29, next week, TGIF, usual shit…..
A resounding rendition of the song was sung, and the circle got shut.

Fork then produced her contender for The Hash Nosh Of The Year Award: Steamed rice with spaghetti meatballs minus the spaghetti, and a delicious prawn curry. And, as if we weren’t all chubby enough from Chrissie, a dessert of fruitcake!

More beers and bullshit, and the crew began to disperse homewards to sleep it off!

Next week at our joint, 12 Douglas Cres Rural View, where we’ll get back to basics with sausage in bread.

On On, Pensioner.

Run #: 1889
Run Date: 26/12/16
Venue:  23 St Bees Ave Bucasia
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Hashers: 9

A modest crew but enough to form a circle not a square attended Tonto and Lassies run 1889. 

Warned in advance that the run was well marked and it was a cock and ball run excited the attendees especially the Harriettes. The trail even had a runners section! All full from Christmas lunch and dinner we meandered off to the first check. Lucky the hare was pretty lazy as the on backs within eyeshot of the checks. 

Anyway we all enjoyed a well marked trail which was cut short by bad weather but we still had time for the piss stop. What was going to be awarded the worst piss stop for the year turned around with Lassie making an adjustment to the concoction and it then became the best piss stop ever! 

The cock and balls was found with a little prompting and we gladly headed on home with mosquitoes in hot pursuit… lots of them.

A circle was formed for the nine attendees and as the monk was still too drunk from Christmas run balls and pudding he nominated WHP to take care of proceedings. 

The hare was charged, jokes were handed around to ensure that no one got a down down for not having a joke but it was soon realised WHP collected all the Bon Bon jokes from his lunch yesterday. I honestly believe Knothead has a sideline writing Bon Bon jokes.

Charges against Hash Piss – Knicker Licker ( no Tun!!!), the hare – Tonto ( not spotting the second appendage on his cock and ball run), the usual monk – JCF ( no real reason other than they could) were passed and of course all were guilty saw a crude brew of beer and port being consumed as a down down. 

A few more quality jokes were told before the business end of the evening got underway and the song was sung with gusto. Hash Nosh was a popular sausage curry and rice which was promptly followed by a ice cream mix which was a great hit. Hope you got a bit Tonto? (Ice cream that is.) on on! JCF