Run Date: 28th November
Run No #1885
Hare: Oui Oui, Champion or Knicka Licka (take your pick)
Venue: 60 Wattle Streeet Andergrove
Hashers: 29

29 hashers gathered at wee wee’s place in Andergrove for a pyromaniacs dream and in memory of Roots a great pyro and piano burner.

All gathered out the front and we were thrown in to total confusion as to actually who set the run.

Was it wee wee and champion or was it knicker licker the hash piss, wee wee insisted it was him however champion said it was knicker licker so I tend to believe her.

So it was on on everyone broke in to a brisk walk, except for hot rocks who spotted a cute bottom run past him and then found a new lease of life and proceeded to chase it down the road unfortunately the bottom was a bit too fast so he fast and was left languishing behind thinking of what might have been death with a smile on his face. It was then on through the bush through more streets and everyone finally made it back safely.

Knicker was fined several times because he love Tun beer so much, I am sure he deliberately set the run so he could drink more of this beautiful beverage the nectar of the gods.

Many jokes were told (mostly by the monk).

Then nosh was consumed with great gusto a truly great feast supplied by Champion.

Then the entertainment began, with a fire over the creek set up by wee wee so everyone knew what was going to happen and it did. The pile of wood was so high Sire Edmond Hillary was have had trouble scaling it. With plenty of diesel to send it on its way, the fire began. Everyone sat about 20 metres away then 30 then 40 and then 50 finally everyone watched from the front bar of the Andergrove Tavern just to get away from the heat.

Of course the fire then began to get out of control so some intrepid hasher swam across the creek with a hose to help contain the huge blaze. Some say it was Bar Wench unfortunately I didn’t get to see that I was too busy hiding under my car in case the fire brigade police and ambulance turned up.

There were embers flying everywhere I think Andergrove can think itself luck it didn’t burn to the ground.

With the fun over everyone headed of home smelling of burnt wood and burn hair ( except for Pensioner and Flaps) and smelling of smoke.

On on until the next run at 17 Jarrah Street, should be a nice short one.

Flaps

Run Date: 21st November
Run No #1884
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Northview Gardens Park, Cnr  Schapers Road & Royal Boulevard, Glenella.
Hashers: 26

26 intrepid hashers gathered at the park, eagerly anticipating another of Viagra’s gruelling tests of Hashman/womanship. With jogging shoes at maximum revs, the crew awaited Viagra’s detailed instructions, only to have him drowned out by a tumultuous downpour.  A collective sigh from the floor meant this may be a non-event, but bravely Golly leapt out into the intense storm, shouting “OnOn”….. a cry taken up by several others. Into the swirling mist they vanished, when, in an intensely religious phenomenon, the clouds parted and the rain eased, allowing more of the gang to depart, leaving behind those poor incompetents who obviously suffer severe allergic reactions to rainwater. On through the streets of Northview we surged, oblivious to the incredulous stares of the locals, and vicious barking of fluffy dogs. The trail was marked in builder’s chalk, which doesn’t wash away with rain, but we still managed to go in 4 different directions, until miraculously coming back on trail with an O.H… so, O.H we went.

Back at the park, we discovered HashPiss was still out in the dark….. with his car keys firmly locked in his pocket. Much derision was hurled his way, until finally, through the mist staggered Knicker, with a satisfied grin, and opened the door to the amber fluid. Viagra produced some store-bought bikkies and dip, and the mob settled in for some bullshit.

Soon, a large apparition appeared, and Flaps called the circle to attention. The apparition, dressed in full Monkal regalia, slowly removed his hood to reveal a Frair Tuck haircut, and proceeded to thank Delicious for making the new Monk Gown, necessary as he couldn’t fit his rather rotund frame into the old one! HashChoir Lassie led the troops in HashPrayer, then The Monk began dispensing downdowns.  Viagra first, for daring to set a wet run. Returning/visiting runner  Septic tasted a Tun. Virgin runner Jen was invited up to give her life story, and seemed to enjoy her Tun. The monk launched into some jokes, and it soon became apparent that he’d found the ex-Monk’s jokebook, as some were old chestnuts told again. Viagra told a very funny yarn about being single. A charge from Delicious against Zorro, for not having the bar open last Friday, resulted in a Tun o Fun. A further charge from Delicious along the same lines ended with the charge reversed and Delish Tunnin it. A few more jokes thrown in (including one from PeaBeau’s jokebook), and possibly more charges (can’t remember)….. and then The Monk called us to order with a request to sink to our knees, whilst calling Nicole forward. Previously known by the pseudo name of Sweetmeat 2, it was time for the bestowing of a real hashname. Nicole, it seems, has the surname Biddle. As in Biddle’s pub, which mysteriously burnt down many moons ago. It was revealed that Blurry has a mother. What’s more, her maiden name was Biddle. Therefore, with the aid of the family tree, we discovered that Nicole is Blurry’s brother 4 times removed on Uncle Albert’s side, said uncle having married his second cousin on Blurry’s great Grandfather’s side. Get the connection? No, I don’t either. But although Nicoles a PhysEd teacher, she has bar experience and a pub in the background….blah blah blah, her new name is Bar Wench.
After downing her Tun with great delight, Bar Wench went off around the circle to greet her peers. Meanwhile, The Monk called forward Delicious, and announced the committee had decided to bestow the honourary position of Hash Whip on her, for her tireless promoting of the club. With a whip draped around her shoulders, Delicious looked very, very scary. After that I can’t remember any more. The usual announcements were made, the song was sung, the circle was closed.
Viagra produced 2 big pots of chilli sausage stew with fresh bread. Must have gone down a treat, cause there weren’t none left! More bullshit was talked, more beers was drunk, and eventually the mob wandered off into the dark stormy night……
Sorry to ramble on so long….. but I just can’t help it.
Pensioner.

Run Date: 14^th November
Run No #1883
Hare: Prick
Venue: BBQ area at the Gooseponds
Hashers: 25

Hi Hashers, Prick’s run was set at the Goose ponds, and as usual the trail was both confusing, and a delight.

The runners set off in one direction, only to totally run out of marks, or onbacks, resulting in heading back the way we came, to head off in the opposite direction, supposedly the runners trail.

Anyway, the majority of us mearly wandered round for the obligatory hour then headed back for a cold beer!?!?

But what did we find back at home You say!!!  No Beer available. Our hash Piss was up to his usual trick of wandering along behind DT, somewere on the trail. Or in the Bowlo, with the Hash Piss locked up???

I shoudn’t talk, should I, It was the same when I was Hash Piss. Out on the run, when there was serious drinking to be done. Oh Well!!!

Any way, with savory hot spuds and sweet spuds to nibble on, while Hash Cash collected our oxford schollars, we all exchanged all the usual lies and gossip, before the circle was called.

Our new munk made a good job with telling some mediocre jokes, and Knot head surprised us all with a very clever joke about drones.

After the circle, Prick then produced a whole mess of vittles, consisting of his secret recipe of lamb crawdads with chitluns and grits, MMM!! Very nice Prick!!!  Well Done That Man!!!

Most Hashers were still eating and endulging till @ 9 o’clock, then we all departed to our burrows till next week.

That’s all from me, see you all next week.

ON ON Viagra.

Run Date: 7^th November
Run No #1882
Hare: Corgie & Daffodil
Venue: Quota Park – Binnington Esplanade East Mackay
Hashers: 23 includes Linda (new Hasher)

23 eager Hashers gathered for the fray; there were half still sitting and drinking piss with no intention of going anywhere when the pack headed off through the backstreets of South and East Mackay. They were still there when we got back! Nothing changes.

The streets of South Mackay were well marked with chalk; Prudhoe, Kippen, Scott, Goldsmith, Bridge, Goldsmith again, Waverly and finally to the beach. A doddle along the beach was on on back to the Park.

Afew beers and the circle was convened with the new committee in firm control. JCF dolled out the down downs assisted by Golly. A few charges, a few jokes, a drink for new Hasher Linda that Golly brought along instead of Raggedy Ann and then a great feed supplied by Corgi and Daffodil.

A good run then it was on on home to mummy.

On On
Prick

Run Date: 31st October 2016
Run No #1881
Hare: Viagra – Trail Master
Venue: Mackay Bowls Club Nebo Road
Hashers: 38

Since the AGPU was being held at the Mackay Bowls club, Corgie & Daffolil have walked to the start of the run and found Blo Jo driving back home to walk back too after dropping Blurry off.  A few children were trick or treating on the way for Halloween night. On arrival most Hashers had a beer in hand, getting into the spirit of the night. Raggedy Ann was in her best costume and greeted us all. Hooker had the best face painting and head wear for Halloween and Teflon with her Black Hat and Champion with hers and tshirt with sweet treats pinned to her tshirt to temp those willing. We were also greeted by a proud Pants as she introduced us to her son Jayden. Even Blurry was there with one crutch to support his new bandaged knee. Eventually Viagra got the attention of the around 38 noisy bastards to get the run under way. About half the pack didn’t make a start while the rest of us headed down George Street towards Evans Street onto the round about at Juliet Street. At his point the front running bastards followed trail towards East Mackay while the rest of us headed home in various directions. We arrived back to the Bowls Club where Zorro announced the night was free, being paid by the Hash Club so after a few beers we sat down and enjoyed the steak and sausage burgers.

The circle started, Pensioner and Hot Rocks told some good jokes, Mango was awarded for her 100^th run, Canoe and Half a Boat were given a down down for returning runners but Canoe refused, as she said she was driving so Wee Wee took it for her. Knot Head was charged  by Nicker with stuffing up the time when they were suppose to go to the movies and drinking piss instead. Pensioner moved onto the awards and Zorro then called for nominations for the new committee and thanked the old committee for their emeritus efforts.

On On
Daffodil & Corgie

Awards were presented which are below:-

Run Date: 24th October 2016
Run No #1880
Hare: WHP & Breaststroke
Venue: 16 Lochmaben Crt Beaconsfield
Hashers: 28

Well the usual bunch of hashing reprobates gathered at WHP and Breaststroke’s pink piggy. Off the gang burst into a slow trot around the streets of Andergrove with many moans and groans when we hit the hill, a few had to be given oxygen when they reached base camp. Thank goodness we didn’t go any higher as altitude sickness would have kicked in. The runners took off god knows where but they weren’t at the piss stop when the walkers showed up at Radish and Paw Paws. After a tropical fruit extravaganza cocktail  the crowd moved onward home.

Returning hashers were greeted with lovely dips and  nibblies, yum! The usual crap was talked pre-circle. Then suddenly the circle was formed with many freezing hashers. Down downs were issued with more tropical fruit piss, Mango vigilant on health and safety warning the Monk not to choke anyone on tropical fruit. What a way to go👍🏻. Speaking of choking episodes Lassie was given a down down for heroically saving Quickie’s life as she choked on a chip on Sunday after the away run. Hot Lips was welcomed back as a returning runner. Hash AGPU is next week and calls for nominations for the new committee were announced. Circle closed and the hash song was sung with gusto.

Honorary Hash Flash, Prick then entertained us with many photos. Pin up girl Shizza appearing in a high percentage of photos, anything you care to share????

Food was served in abundance lots of sausages, bacon and a lovely tomato sauce. Dessert was a yummy tropical fruit, cream and meringue number.

The crowd then thinned out as bollocks and lady bits were starting to fall off with the cold. Next week should be warmer as it’s in a bowls club.

On on

McFanny

Run Date: 17th October 2016
Run No #1878
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Venue: 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia
Hashers: 34

34 intrepid hashers turned up, well, one visitor was late, at Lassie & Tonto’s Bucasia abode, only to find it resembling a mini caravanpark, with Bundy vistors WhiteAnt & Stumps ensconced in the backyard, along with L&T’s own van. Lassie called the troops to attention, and prattled off some instructions, but no-one was listening, so the pack ambled off in a westerly direction. Tonto covered the rear, and eventually we crossed Bucasia Rd and found a trail leading off through a pineapple plantation surrounded by sugarcane. Very Queenslanderish! We roamed along through country we hadn’t seen before, past a croc-infested billabong and over a creek leading to a dirt road, at the end of which we found…… a piss stop! Apparently (according to OuiOui, who’s been known to bend the truth) the piss stop was supplied by Mackay Full Moon Hash. Dunno about that, but it tasted good anyway. On back through some backstreets, and we found ourselves back at the ranch. A great run/walk, enjoyed by all.

Lassie produced some dip and some nachos which quickly disappeared whilst hashcash was collected, and bullshit dissected.

Stand-in Monkee Golly called the circle to order, and The Monk began deliberations. It soon became apparent that Smegma and Pants had entered a competition to see who could be the loudest interrupter. A down-down for the 2 hares, followed by birthday drinks for both Mango and RaggedyAnne. The Monk fired off a few jokes which prompted TwoMoons,… (the visitor who’d turned up late, headed off on his own and got lost….. so we thought. In fact he went to a mate’s place, had a beer or three, and returned dragging along said mate Ross, complete with dog, and introduced him to hashing)… to launch into a very very long and tiresome joke about something no one was listening to. A down-down was promptly despatched, along with down-downs for visitors Stumps, WhiteAnt, Lingus, and newby Ross. Snot was charged with calling BloJo by her real name, which he tried to reverse but was over-ruled by The Monk and had a drink anyway. More jokes were told, and more charges, but I can’t remember them all……oh yes, we had a farewell drink for Blurry’s knee, which will be removed on Wednesday amid much pain, and replaced with a new improved version.

The Monk then reported on last Tuesday’s 12.29 Executive Lunch, held at Norths Leagues Club. After feeding the 13 of us, later that afternoon the club closed it’s doors and ceased trading. This decision was no doubt exacerbated by Lassie winning a $120 keno payout, which was, I’m led to believe,  the straw that broke the camel’s back. Lassie received a down-down for her efforts.

The song was sung with much gusto, but right in the middle of it….. the power went out! The song then wobbled right off the rails, and the circle closed.

In the midst of darkness, torches were produced, the hashpissmobile was repositioned with lights on, and our 2 hares served up a delicious BBQ of burgers n sausages. It was around this time that I had to reluctantly agree with Smeg that The Brightside has become The Darkside, albeit on a temporary basis. More beers was drunk, and bullshit talked, and we wondered off into the dark dark night.

The away run is this weekend, the TGIF drinks will be held at Camerons Pocket.  BYO piss. See ya there!

Pensioner

The Monk

Run Date: 10th October 2016
Run No #1877
Hare: Blurry
Venue: Wetlands Amphitheater at the end of Alexandria St, West Mackay lagoons.
Hashers: 31

As we all illegally gathered to welcome yet another week of hard work or retirement, the speculation of a complex and detailed Blurry run came to fruition. We were all amazed at the detailed description he gave regarding the run as he chanted something about a check, runners this way walkers this way, a false trail and blah blah blah. With that said off we went. Arrows everywhere is the best description for this run, arrows, checks and false trails everywhere. Blurry was surely laughing out loud with the trail and its complexity. His vision of hashers being lost in the wilderness for hours was certainly about to happen. In true Mackay Hash fashion, the runners ran the walkers walked and short cuts were found. People everywhere following false trails, crossing paths, finding on backs and arrows a plenty and it was just the first check. Not sure what happened to the complex Blurry trail because the pack settled into a rhythm and followed the trail to perfection finding no more checks, false trails, on backs or arrows either! Passing conversations included, “we must have missed the on home marker”, “what is that chalk circle?” and “what does an arrow look like?”

As the last of the stragglers came on home the monk called for a circle which saw us all gather in a brilliantly lit are covered by security cameras. This made me feel extremely safe knowing we were being looked over in some control centre somewhere. At least we would not be mugged or raped tonight, not by others outside the circle anyway!

Charges were called, some stuck, some were reversed. Terrible jokes were told as usual, except for JCF who will surely be nominated for best joke of the year and Tun’s of down downs were allocated. With the circle not in proximity of the eskies, the circle was unofficially closed as the drinks ran dry. Hash nosh was served and bellies were filled. All in all good effort team MH3 great evening as usual!

On On: JCF

Run Date: 3^rd October 2016
Run No #1876
Hare: McFanny
Venue: 13 Grasstrail Street
Hashers: 27

A destroyed bunch of Hashers, partly resulting from the Inaugural Combined Central Queensland Hash weekend at St. Lawrence on the prior weekend, as well as drinking through a long weekend, found their way through the darkness of the north side, and through the bleak and rainy evening that was Monday night, to the Mc Fanny place of residence, which was to be the venue of this nights hash extravaganza.

Pristine was a word that came to mind as I looked around the back yard, to find a spot to park the chairs for the relaxing part of the evening later on.

The usual gaggle of desperados assembled in the back yard, where the Hare, McFanny advised us that she had set the run two times already, and it had been washed away both times, and hence, was not interested in guiding the pack around the run. To beef up her decision, she advised the pack that she had to prepare Hash Nosh, and that was more important.

Enter Smegma……..After running the CCQH weekend to perfection, Smeg, still on an adrenalin rush, stepped forward and advised that he would direct the gaggle of desperados through the run, so off the pack set.

The crippled and destroyed, as well as the lazy bastards, remained behind and discussed the goings’ on at St. Lawrence, until the pack arrived back at McFannies pristine back yard, where they were greeted with dips and crackers. As WHP and his assistants unloaded the refreshments and delivered same to the back yard, I had a crack at the dips. Weeellll, the Salmon and lime dip got my vote, and I just could not stop going back for more.

Pensioner started the circle with a couple of short sharp funnies, then got down to the usual chores. Hares were given a drink, as well as others for all sorts of misdemeanors.

McFanny emerged from the kitchen with a Scottish feast, and the food was devoured with gusto. Then desert followed, and all was well.

Other important issues’ were discussed until bellies were full of food and drink, then everyone wandered off home. Thanks McFanny for another bright moment on the dark side. Bless you all.

Monsignor Blurr.