Run Date: 12th September 2016
Run No #1873
Hare: Zorro/Committee run
Venue: Mackay Fencing 72 Satellite Crescent Outer Harbour
Hashers: A whopping 34!

As we walked through the gates of Mackay Fencing we were pleasantly surprised to find Poppy’s Wood fired Pizzas setting up. Yum Yum!  Phil or Poppy was a Hasher so knew that Hashers would eat whatever was put in front of them, so with 34 people, we almost ate a whole pizza each with 28 pizzas consumed + garlic bread (or a couple in the end were stashed in Zorro’s fridge for his workers the next day) ….I think that beats Tonguer’s pizza numbers.

Order was called and Zorro sent us on our way. He then decided to do some moving around of ‘stuff’ so the 34 of us could fit in on our return. Everyone took their pace, went distances that suited their ‘sore bits’ but we all returned to the smell of those yummy pizzas.

Mango worked her little butt off getting all the $$$ sorted, so the circle could begin as we couldn’t be too long for Poppy had been given a 7.30pm start. The monk gave usual charges to Hare, but a few others copped a down down, Snot for being Snot, who then produced a toilet brush from his arse crack, god knows where that had been (had he found it on the run?) and then proceeded to push it in one of the ‘down down’ pewter mugs. Well that went down like a lead balloon and was immediately removed to the back so as not to confuse it with the other mugs. The monk continued ‘catching my eye’ with his jokes though.

2 birthdays were sung to and down downs – Blurry and Lassie. We welcomed Shannon who took a down down, friend of Cummalott and Jessica, Lassie’s daughter. The bestest award went to Tonguer for 1300 runs where he received a very impressive blue jacket. Good on you Tonguer. Well done.

Hash song sung with gusto and the pizzas just kept coming! Hooray for Poppy and we hope to see him next Monday night as a regular Hasher.

See you all next week at 37 Mango Ave Eimeo.

On On
Teflon

 

Run Date: 5th September 2016
Run No #1872
Hare: Drip Tray
Venue: Northview Gardens Park, Cnr  Schapers Road & Royal Boulevard, Glenella.
Hashers: 26

Hi you all

Well, about 20 plus people wearing all different club shirts from all around the country gathered at a kid’s playground in Northview Gardens to play on the play equipment, only to find the gates locked. WTF is with that!

Anyway, DT disguised as Knicka sent us on our way. Run went this way, and that way, who cares? Did I mention that the mighty Sydney Swans finished minor premiers yet again? Well they did, and I couldn’t even share the glory with Prick. Where is that lad, probably getting his tickets for the Grand Final. But I’m not doing that again, like in 2014 when this scribe bought flights to Melbourne, then went to the ticker tape parade. Woke up early GF day and walked around the MCG, not once, not twice, but yes 3 times, asking everyone for a ticket. To my relief, a Carlton Supporter who had a long season with no success was happy to off load his ticket for the princely sum of $500. Then I retired to Federation Square for some quite ales to wait for the game to start, only to be offered $1000 for the ticket prior to the bounce down, 🍺🍺 and I knocked it back. I then proceeded to watch my Swans get a proper flogging. Should have taken the cash! I see the Storm finished On Top but maybe the Cowboys might come good for back to back flags.

 

I love September, and then we were back at the playground enjoying beers.   A tad chilly but it was ok, no fire again WTF.

Circle called and the usual bad and poor taste jokes, until Delish put her hand up to try and tell a joke she had seen on faceless book. Added a few expletives which was part of the script but it came out alright, still enough for a down down.  Daffodil got one for joining the “old retired bastard’s brigade” he can now go to Executive lunch with all the other free loading bastards that live off my taxes.  Can’t remember anything else that was special, apart from Blurry going the grope on Delish from behind and saying “Guess Who “and she declared “Don’t care”.  Circle closed and into the nosh and more beers, wind was getting fucking cold so we packed up and pissed off.

Next week’s run from my work place so remember full hi vis, steel caps, JSA , WMS, take 5′ Slams etc. etc. bring a chair too.  I don’t have many of them, can’t have my workers sitting down even for crib.

 

On On Zorro

Run Date: 29th August 2016
Run No #1871
Hare: Piccolo
Venue: 82 Grendon St North Mackay
Hashers: 28 Lots

A new venue and lots of Hashers turned up for Piccolo’s first (virgin) run. Thank god for that, she has been as nervous as a virgin in a brothel for weeks about it.  A good 5 hours over three secessions was spent tromping all over North Mackay until she was finally satisfied. I blame “the Prick” for that, because he advised her make the run a hard one, “to make the bastards suffer”. Then didn’t turn up.  Monk please note.

At as close to 6.00 as it is possible with that rabble, the herd were sent off in two directions, runners one way, walkers the other, while there was still some daylight left to see the special features of a well thought out trail.  But as usual as soon as there was the slightest deviation from a super highway in the trail the first breakaway group wimped out and headed back home. Muttering of wimp’s, soft cocks and chicken were heard wafting  through the breeze behind them.

At this point a commendation of bravery for Mango, who is not happy with heights, ventured  onto the bridge anyway . Then when the brain started to take note of her surroundings special thanks to DT who leaping from girder to girder like a spider monkey assisted her safely to the other side.

Once all the Hashers were safely across the bridge back on trail, we then lost another splinter group, but  led by the intrepid Smegma the rest of us followed the trail over a small creek with its stone causeway, built by the industrious trail setters, through the old dump, onto Harbour road.   Only Raggedy Ann had a wobbly boot at the creek and ended up with one wet foot.

Back along Harbour road where 80% of drivers have no idea where the left hand side of their vehicle  is in relation to pedestrians, into Hamilton St then On Home.

Back at the Piccolo ranch, the fire was glowing, the beer was flowing and conversations were growing, when some basted interrupted everything  and called a circle. The hare’s were given down downs for setting an excellent run, I got another one I think for Alzheimer’s, DT for getting a new job, sane for Smegma I think, visitors for visiting and others but I can’t remember or was talking .

You only have two days to get discounted registration for beach party, but that finished Wednesday so forget that it’s too bloody late.  More prizes wanted for the raffle. Song sung circle closed. Thank Christ for that because that is all I can remember.

What I do remember is the food. Started  with homemade dips followed with Lasagne and curry and rice and topped off with apple pie and cream  Not a bad spread for someone who has been telling us for months that she doesn’t know how to cook.

After that sumptuous meal managed to waddle back to the Esky for one last beer probably bored the crap out of people because not long after every one On On’d   home.

Good run, good food, good night.

 

On On

Nicka

 

Run Date: 22nd August 2016
Run No #1870
Roots wish run – Hares: Screw, Fork, Roots and Wombat
Venue:  Willetts Road Park, then On On to 8 Hoskins Court, Glenella
Hashers: 43 came & went throughout the evening.

An intrepid crew of Hashers turned up at the run site to gather for a run for ROOTS.

By the end of the night the count was close to 40

In perfect hash style the oldies appeared Crabs, Drovers Dog, Lucky to name a few.

Pensioner kindly let ROOTS lean on his Mercedes and never commented. It was noted Pensioner was breathing heavily!

The offer was made by Fork and Screw to wander off round the goose ponds and while the pack was away more of the oldies appeared…U Turn Tinky Winks Chris….. Some of this lot including Daffodil went to school together…how do they remember it was so long ago!

ROOTS and WOMBAT kept everyone entertained until the pack returned and consumed nibbles and a traditional brew of port and lemonade. We then made our way to the ON ON at ROOTS and WOMBATS house in hash convoy…except for Blurry who decided to go another way and ended up in the convoy anyway!

We were met by more family and friends with Skipper Fresh Fanny and Trickle arriving after work to join in.

Once the Hash Piss arrived…not sure why it got lost ? the circle was called.

Pensioner did a fine job of dragging the ROOTS stories from the mob, thank you Snot Tonguer, Pants, Tar Boy, Drovers Dog, Hot Rocks, Blurry, Jock Strap and ROOTS himself. Apologies if I forgot anyone.

There were a few charges….Fork, Snot, ROOTS, WOMBAT, Golly, Blurry and of course a big down down to the oldies but goodies The returning hashers who came to see ROOTS. Pensioner managed to tell the longest worst joke and the circle closed.

NOSH was a serving of fine quality hash sausages with the trimmings and desert. 3 course meal a bit flash for hash I thought! The snags must have been good as even ROOTS ate one.

ROOTS bad everyone farewell as he returned to the Mater before they locked him out.

The stories continued as the beer flowed until the last of the hashers made their way home.

Thanks to the Hares for a great night.

And a big Thank You to ROOTS and WOMBAT for opening their house and allowing us all to share some great stories and many laughs with a very special family.

Onya ROOTS and CHOOKY

ON ON

Blo-Jo

 

 

Run Date: 15^th August 2016
Run No #1869
Hare: Snot
Venue:  Boat Ramp, end of Tern Street, Slade Point
Hashers: 24

Well about twenty Odd hashers (and I mean Odd) turned up in cyclonic conditions for a Snot/Smegma debacle.  At the run site, Snot had (3) pigs on fire (he must have something against the police).

Around 6pm we were all called to order that the run was set and there was no mud (1st Fib).  So on we went, straight into the close by swamp, through mangroves, water, MUD, grasses, trees and finally out of the swamp onto Slade Pt Road.  Down the road until we turned left and back into the swamp again.  Cross a small waterway and then onto the on on, where drinky’s were attacked with gusto and the bullshit started.

Snot bought out hot spuds (tasted better than the nosh), circle was called and down downs given to the hare and to others even if they were duped, all because they could not get rid of the Tun. (I suggest if this happens again, just get the monk and monkee to drink it themselves, piss poor planning). Hash song was sung and circle closed, nosh was called (called what the fuck!)  After a very small serving of cold chips, small plastic bags containing, (1) raw snag, (1) raw rissole, (2) pieces of white bread and a couple of marshmallows were presented, to be cooked by oneself on the hot pigs.  Well, as I like the police I did not want to upset them, so myself and others decided to enjoy some home cooked nosh and I bade goodnight.  (Something I forget to mention about the circle, that, on the run there was plenty of toilet paper set as trail, but no Cummalott to be able to take advantage of it for her wee stops).

On On

Screw

Run Date: 8^th August 2016
Run No #1868
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue:  4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point
Hashers: 29

 

What a great number of hashers turned up for Golly’s run.

Hare was all prepared, tarp put up, to shield us from the wind, and a great fire going!

We all set of , after directions from the  hare, the pack broke into 2 lots ,

some heading left up a hill, the other lazy bastards turned right to do our own thing!

Then we broke into 3 packs.  Pensioner took this lot back to the eskie!!

By all accounts, hashers who headed up the hill ,said it was a great run,

On getting back beer and nibblies were consumed. Circle was called!!

jokes  and usual garble was had !!!

New hasher Sharon was named  ” Shizza”.

A better hash song was sung this week!! probably because Hoty actually sang

Circle closed, and a lovely bbq was put on by the hares, a few more beers , bellys full.

Then it was time to head off home !!!!

 

ON ON

Streaker.

Run Date: 1^st August 2016
Run No #1867
Hare: Prick
Venue:  BBQ area – Gooseponds, North Mackay
Hashers: 30

Was great to see so many keen hashers arrive at the goosepond for pricks run,

We all gathered around, and were told which way to go,most headed off in the right direction,

While some chose to go their own way,

Hot potatoes were waiting for us on our return

Circle was called,down, down for hare,

Hooker for 50 runs, and her birthday,

Virgin runner, and more down downs, a few jokes, then everyone tried to sing club song.

Circle closed,

Very tasty nosh was served of meat and sweet potato and bread.

Another great hash night,

On On.

Raggedy Ann.

 

Run Date: 25^th July 2016
Run No #1866
Hare: Streaker
Venue:  Unit 5/3 Hunter Street, West Mackay
Hashers: 21

Oh, what a run. This was the run that had a dozen runs incorporated into it!

There was a run from Streakers’ over to the Bowls Club; guess who availed themselves of this option! No prizes for the answer.

There was the run that went via the old rail line, to the Army Barracks, to Nebo Road and then to Streakers’.

There was the run via the rail line, Army Barracks, Bowls Club then to Streakers’ place.

There was the run via old rail line. Army Barracks, levee bank and Ron Camm bridge to Streakers’.

There was the run via the old rail line, the cemetery. round a few graves then to the Bowls Club and on to Streakers’.

All in all we had a great time. There was enough flexibility in the run organisation for everyone to cater to their own taste in venue and distance and everyone availed themselves according to their personal taste and the distance they wanted to go! Well done Hottie and Streaker.The night was capped off with a few jokes, a few down downs, a great feed cooked by Smeg and then we all hit the frog and toad.

 

On on. Prick.

Run Date: 18^th July 2016
Run No #1865
Hare: Sweet Meat
Venue:  Shockers – 9 Hi-Grove Terrace  Andergrove
Hashers: 27

Leaving the BRIGHT SIDE of town we left the sunshine behind and once again heading into

the dark of Andergloom we were expecting a SHOCKER of a night only to find that shocker

had pissed off to somewhere down south and left all the work to Sweetmeat.

 

Sweetmeat issued instructions as to where the marks might be and that they were on the

right or the left or possibly in the middle and marked with surveyors tape.

Off we went at a gentle pace down the street when a late hash piss tried to run the pack

down with his car loaded with eskies, but the pack easily avoided this poor attempt to slow

the pack up and continued on through the streets of Andergloom , Finding trail marks was like trying to find those elusive Pokémon’s or the local Andergloomers thought our marks were Pokémon and stole them. As the marks were as little as the tun in our down down mugs.

Tounger produced a map of the run but alas no one’s eyesight in the gloom could decipher

1. The runners did their own thing as usual and ignored all marks and just ran around in the gloom and eventually returned to the on on. The pack led by Tounger kept up the charade of following the trail and meandered back after an hour or so.

 

Good to see that once again Snot, Flaps & Delicious gave up their run to guard the eskies and our plunder from Airlie Beach. These hashers deserve medals for the sterling work they

have contributed to guard duty, instead of enjoying the wonderful runs.

 

The circle was called by monkee Flaps who handed over to our esteemed monk Pensioner,

who dispensed down downs with his usual fair and balanced outlook. Down downs for

Sweetmeat the hare, Eugene a new runner who looks a little shady. I later found out he

lives in Andergloom hence the shady look, JCF for birthday and another for phone in the

circle, Hot Rocks as usual for something, Sweetmeats dad for being there and once again

Smegma, unjustly. Could have been more down downs but I can’t recall as the gloom was

making it hard to see. Then like a ray of sunshine next week’s run was announced that it

would be held at Streakers abode on the BRIGHT SIDE – bring your sunnies.

 

Hash nosh was served up and the circle was closed and the serious part of the evening

began until we ran out of Gold beer.

 

A great effort from Sweetmeat minus Shocker as he was off hunting Pokémon down south

 

ON ON to Streakers run

Smegma

 

PS: Don’t forget the Combined Central Qld H3 at St Lawrence Hotel on the weekend of the

1st of October. Remember the last time, we still need to find the Holy Grail as it is rumoured

to be still secreted somewhere at St Lawrence. Watch your emails for further updates about this exciting event which will be bought to you by Cutlery, Rocky, Gladstone & Mackay Hash

Clubs and every club that attends must put on a hash act or be fined 3×30 packs of coldies.

So start auditioning for your role in MH3 PRODUCTION OF SOMETHING

Wanted actors, directors, costume designers and an IDEA FOR OUR ACT anybody with

Talent, apply now by auditioning next week in the circle.

 

Run Date: 11^th July 2016
Run No #1864
Hare: Cummalott
Venue:  BBQ Area at the Goose Ponds behind the North Mackay Bowls Club
Hashers: 18

 

A motley crew of about (16) hashers turned up at Lake Gooseponds, while waiting for the rest of the crew to show, a bit of excitement unfolded with a hungry dog tried to have a Duck sandwich, but the duck won and swam away minus a few feathers.  So with a smaller than usual crew, the hare called us around and said that the run was marked in chalk and the marks (a dog with a hare lip) were on the right side, if not on the footpath and maybe on the left.  Just wish the hare could make up her mind, so just before we set off, the hare informed us that she would not be partaking of the run (something about she had other things to do, so we were a crew without a Captain). But onward we went with runners and walkers going up and down roads, paths and sometimes on no paths at all, until finally we arrived at a really Pleasant place with drinks and peanuts (they went with the rest of the nuts that made it).

Finally it was on home where their were more thirsty hashers waiting for the hash piss to be served. With all the crew having returned, a circle was called, with the first down down going to Tounger (something about an early attempt at a joke, not in the circle).  Then the hare was given her just desserts, (if you can call a Tun a dessert).  A few more jokes and a couple of charges, the hash song was sang or sung, then nosh was served (top nosh) curried Beef stew, sausage and vege stew all served with fluffy white rice and bread as well.  Then the hare informed us that the sausage stew nearly did not make it as the hares son also liked it, and then with our belly’s full, desserts were now served.  Menu: Banana timtams, Pineapple timtams and Mint slices (such a variety) now our belly’s were really full, then, at this time I was told that I was going home, so off I went with my mummy.

 

ON ON Screw.