Run #: 1891
Run Date: 09/01/17
Venue:  12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Hashers:  24

Hi all

We all turned up at the x-monks place where there is not a flat area to be seen. I wasn’t sure it was the right place as when I pulled up, it looked like a group of Back packers picking passionfruit all heads in the vine on closer look was all the old pensioners trying to supplement their pension .

We headed  out front where the hare gave us some envelopes with numbers on them and proceeded to tell us that there was a note inside and to be opened in the right order or we would get lost.

No 1 opened head east then turn left  till you get to a H-H wait for everyone to catch up. WHP decided to have his own  run and away he went. No 2 envelope was opened and so on. At one stage we went down a path and some Harriet’s were hanging around Mango half way down the hill I think she must have had some inside information because the rest off pack turned around and went back up hill. More envelopes past a watering hole without stopping 2^nd week in row WTF is going on, then to Coles than Woolworths all shutting down for day. So off to Porters we headed some should have told hare he was a year late back across Bucasia Rd  up more hills and back home.

Nibbles got devoured and washed down then the circle called. Some jokes told, some were I think passed on from Knot Head or Peabeau. They were sick than the pimple sucker came out.

Charges were given don’t know what for, but if you received one you should know. Why, Old returning runner Jock Strap.

More jokes song sung circle closed. Grub came out pasta dishes very yummy yummy. Well done  Mango.

More bull shit  more beer drank odd passionfruit eaten. Made up for a start off a another

Good hashing year.

ON_ON  GOLLY>

Run #: 1890
Run Date: 02/01/17
Venue:  80A Maple Drive, Andergrove
Hare: Screw & Fork
Hashers:  10 – 30

10, or maybe 30, or somewhere in between, excited hashers turned up at Screw & Fork’s abode on the brightest bright-side. Strolling around the back into Screw’s personal manicured botanic gardens, it quickly became clear that Screw has waaaayy too much time on his hands! A can of round-up will clear out all that flowering stuff and greenery, and leave a nice clearing to enjoy a beer or two.
On to the run….. Screw led us across the road and announced the circle on the ground was the start and finish. Great. Let’s head back over the road for a coldie! But no. Screw insisted we walk up the road to an arrow which marked the true beginning. I figured if I stuck close to Screw I’d avoid any false trails. Well, that kinda worked, as he headed left right straight ahead left left right again….at one stage we passed The Grove tavern, but no piss-stop occurred…. We just kept on goin…. even as most of the pack dropped off and short-cutted…. more left right straight ahead, bloody hell, finally we stopped touring Andergrove and arrived back home with smouldering sneakers!
On in to a cold beer or two, some bikkies n dip, then Fork bought out a pile of hot nibblies, which quickly disappeared, washed down by more brew.
Stand in Monkee Golly called the circle to order and JCF The Monk hobbled forward on his blistery old leg and began with some tired old jokes, then administered a Tun to the hare for daring to set such a magnificent trail. Some more tired old jokes. Another Tun was forthcoming for newbie Pam, who told us her life story in a record 1.3 seconds. Tonto took the Tun on her behalf, muttering something about Pam having introduced Lassie and himself some years back…… grumble grumble…..
a few more slightly improving jokes, and then….
I received a Tun for having taken in a stray doggie on NYE. Screw’s little mutt pricked her ears up at that and scrambled for safety under Fork.
Corgi got a job! And a Tun to celebrate.
Golly got lost on the way to Screw’s, and was rewarded with a Tun.
Chuck had a Tun for being a returning runner.
Breastroke had a birthday drink (67 according to WHP)
and finally, Shizza had a Tun, just for being Shizza.

Announcements for 12.29, next week, TGIF, usual shit…..
A resounding rendition of the song was sung, and the circle got shut.

Fork then produced her contender for The Hash Nosh Of The Year Award: Steamed rice with spaghetti meatballs minus the spaghetti, and a delicious prawn curry. And, as if we weren’t all chubby enough from Chrissie, a dessert of fruitcake!

More beers and bullshit, and the crew began to disperse homewards to sleep it off!

Next week at our joint, 12 Douglas Cres Rural View, where we’ll get back to basics with sausage in bread.

On On, Pensioner.

Run #: 1889
Run Date: 26/12/16
Venue:  23 St Bees Ave Bucasia
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Hashers: 9

A modest crew but enough to form a circle not a square attended Tonto and Lassies run 1889. 

Warned in advance that the run was well marked and it was a cock and ball run excited the attendees especially the Harriettes. The trail even had a runners section! All full from Christmas lunch and dinner we meandered off to the first check. Lucky the hare was pretty lazy as the on backs within eyeshot of the checks. 

Anyway we all enjoyed a well marked trail which was cut short by bad weather but we still had time for the piss stop. What was going to be awarded the worst piss stop for the year turned around with Lassie making an adjustment to the concoction and it then became the best piss stop ever! 

The cock and balls was found with a little prompting and we gladly headed on home with mosquitoes in hot pursuit… lots of them.

A circle was formed for the nine attendees and as the monk was still too drunk from Christmas run balls and pudding he nominated WHP to take care of proceedings. 

The hare was charged, jokes were handed around to ensure that no one got a down down for not having a joke but it was soon realised WHP collected all the Bon Bon jokes from his lunch yesterday. I honestly believe Knothead has a sideline writing Bon Bon jokes.

Charges against Hash Piss – Knicker Licker ( no Tun!!!), the hare – Tonto ( not spotting the second appendage on his cock and ball run), the usual monk – JCF ( no real reason other than they could) were passed and of course all were guilty saw a crude brew of beer and port being consumed as a down down. 

A few more quality jokes were told before the business end of the evening got underway and the song was sung with gusto. Hash Nosh was a popular sausage curry and rice which was promptly followed by a ice cream mix which was a great hit. Hope you got a bit Tonto? (Ice cream that is.) on on! JCF 

Run #: 1888
Run Date: 19/12/16
Venue:  16 Lochmaben  Ave.
Hare: WHP & Breaststroke

Everyone sat around wanting some pre-lube before the run waiting for Tounger to show up. Once it was decided that Tounger wasn’t coming everyone started gathering around Pensioners Shiny Ride. We waited until the Hare finally decided to come out and and explain that it was a Christmas Lights run and it wasn’t Dark enough. That was understandable since we were on the Bright Sid of town for the 5th Run in a row. Hare decided to get the run underway by running off and setting a live hare pre-run before the set Xmas Light show. There were plenty of marks and no rain to wash them away. The Xmas lights were well spread out so most of the hashers shortcut back to the nibbles early. There was a F.T?? out the front of a well lit house which confused Shocker. What does F.T mean – Fucken Terrific lights?? Circle was called – Down downs for The Hares Breaststroke and WHP, Viarga and Corgi for Hashy birthdays – Visiting runner Ryan and Daffodil for not having a joke ready. Excellent nosh and even better crumble and cheese cake finished off a great night.

Shocker

Run Date: 12th December, 2016
Hare: Delicious (Hash Whip) 
Venue: Jaycees Park – Cnr Bedford Road & Fernleigh Ave (deep on the Dark side)
Hashers: 28

28 Fit + healthy + beautiful Hashers assembled at Jaycees Park, Bedford Rd on a typical Delicious rainy run evening.

Delicious set us off on a well explained unmarked trail. We all headed off, runners, walkers and SCB’s, with the expectation of getting wet.

JCF has apparently become a Muslim, as he was seen during the run, facing east, kissing the ground.

We all managed to arrive back to the Hash Whips house on Tropical Ave, to the usual crap in the circle, when after we fed ourselves on a farmiliar looking nosh.

A good night in all.

WHP.

Run Date: 5th December, 2016
Run No: #1886
Hare: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Street, Beaconsfield
Hashers: 27

Hi Hashers
We all rocked up at Flap’s abode with the expectation of a great feed to come, and he didn’t disappoint. After all, he is the current holder of the best Hash Nash Award.
But back to the beginning, at 6:00ish The Hare called the pack to attention, and gave the relevant directions of the trail to follow. Set in flour on the left unless it is on the right, some mention of weevils x 2, maybe on backs or false trails, but he couldn’t remember! On On over the fence, past Robin in the back yard and away you go down the road he instructed. Off they went and staggered back in dribs and drabs, not long after they had left, Hot Rocks wandered back in complaining of a sore knee, oh I know that feeling. Some just did the hill, and that was enough. Until we thought everyone had returned, and started scoffing into the homemade sausage rolls and mini meat and potato balls.

Circle was called by the Monk JCF, and the round of jokes and charges followed. The three Amigos were charged for being joined at the hip, yes Knicker Licker, Drip Tray and Piccolo Pirata, you are to be separated for next weeks’ circle. Daffodil was called forward for reaching a staggering; I believe 1300 runs and received a lovely shopping trolley to wheel around the supermarket, and Knicker Licker an engraved Mug for 300 runs. Congratulations to you both, and on the subject of Congrats a toast was raised to Zorro, now Poppy Cowboy with the birth of his first Grandchild. At this point there was a whisper we were missing someone, rather obvious as it was our Choir Master! The circle continued with a reminder about the Christmas party this Friday at North Mackay Saints Ground, Cutler Drive, Beaconsfield, which will also be TGIF drinks. Executive Lunch the Golden Gecko, Sydney Street, Mackay. More jokes and charges that I can’t remember, Hash sung song, circle closed. Our thoughts are with Cummalott and her Mum at this time, well wishes coming your way.

Back to our missing Hasher, who was the sweeper? Do we even have a sweeper? Are you sure she was here at the start? Did anyone walk with her on the trail? The first search party sent forth, could find no trace. Where was Lassie, her car is here! A new search party was sent out, this time of hashers who had actually done the run, and success at last. There she was meandering aimlessly down the street, following the trail from last week’s run. This is what happens when you have runs in the same area, with no rain. Hhhmmm I will work on a solution to this problem for next weeks’ run from Jaycee Park, Corner Fernleigh Avenue and Bedford Road, Andergrove.

With all the commotion over, we settled into a fabulous feed of Thai Chicken Curry and Fish
Stew with plenty of rice, very nice indeed. Copious amounts of alcohol later, we all pissed
off home to go to bed.

Have you been naughty or nice? It will have no effect on the Secret Santa present you will
receive on Friday, so come along and help celebrate the Mackay Hash House Harriers
Christmas Party.

On On
Delicious – MH3 Whip

Run Date: 28th November
Run No #1885
Hare: Oui Oui, Champion or Knicka Licka (take your pick)
Venue: 60 Wattle Streeet Andergrove
Hashers: 29

29 hashers gathered at wee wee’s place in Andergrove for a pyromaniacs dream and in memory of Roots a great pyro and piano burner.

All gathered out the front and we were thrown in to total confusion as to actually who set the run.

Was it wee wee and champion or was it knicker licker the hash piss, wee wee insisted it was him however champion said it was knicker licker so I tend to believe her.

So it was on on everyone broke in to a brisk walk, except for hot rocks who spotted a cute bottom run past him and then found a new lease of life and proceeded to chase it down the road unfortunately the bottom was a bit too fast so he fast and was left languishing behind thinking of what might have been death with a smile on his face. It was then on through the bush through more streets and everyone finally made it back safely.

Knicker was fined several times because he love Tun beer so much, I am sure he deliberately set the run so he could drink more of this beautiful beverage the nectar of the gods.

Many jokes were told (mostly by the monk).

Then nosh was consumed with great gusto a truly great feast supplied by Champion.

Then the entertainment began, with a fire over the creek set up by wee wee so everyone knew what was going to happen and it did. The pile of wood was so high Sire Edmond Hillary was have had trouble scaling it. With plenty of diesel to send it on its way, the fire began. Everyone sat about 20 metres away then 30 then 40 and then 50 finally everyone watched from the front bar of the Andergrove Tavern just to get away from the heat.

Of course the fire then began to get out of control so some intrepid hasher swam across the creek with a hose to help contain the huge blaze. Some say it was Bar Wench unfortunately I didn’t get to see that I was too busy hiding under my car in case the fire brigade police and ambulance turned up.

There were embers flying everywhere I think Andergrove can think itself luck it didn’t burn to the ground.

With the fun over everyone headed of home smelling of burnt wood and burn hair ( except for Pensioner and Flaps) and smelling of smoke.

On on until the next run at 17 Jarrah Street, should be a nice short one.

Flaps

Run Date: 21st November
Run No #1884
Hare: Viagra
Venue: Northview Gardens Park, Cnr  Schapers Road & Royal Boulevard, Glenella.
Hashers: 26

26 intrepid hashers gathered at the park, eagerly anticipating another of Viagra’s gruelling tests of Hashman/womanship. With jogging shoes at maximum revs, the crew awaited Viagra’s detailed instructions, only to have him drowned out by a tumultuous downpour.  A collective sigh from the floor meant this may be a non-event, but bravely Golly leapt out into the intense storm, shouting “OnOn”….. a cry taken up by several others. Into the swirling mist they vanished, when, in an intensely religious phenomenon, the clouds parted and the rain eased, allowing more of the gang to depart, leaving behind those poor incompetents who obviously suffer severe allergic reactions to rainwater. On through the streets of Northview we surged, oblivious to the incredulous stares of the locals, and vicious barking of fluffy dogs. The trail was marked in builder’s chalk, which doesn’t wash away with rain, but we still managed to go in 4 different directions, until miraculously coming back on trail with an O.H… so, O.H we went.

Back at the park, we discovered HashPiss was still out in the dark….. with his car keys firmly locked in his pocket. Much derision was hurled his way, until finally, through the mist staggered Knicker, with a satisfied grin, and opened the door to the amber fluid. Viagra produced some store-bought bikkies and dip, and the mob settled in for some bullshit.

Soon, a large apparition appeared, and Flaps called the circle to attention. The apparition, dressed in full Monkal regalia, slowly removed his hood to reveal a Frair Tuck haircut, and proceeded to thank Delicious for making the new Monk Gown, necessary as he couldn’t fit his rather rotund frame into the old one! HashChoir Lassie led the troops in HashPrayer, then The Monk began dispensing downdowns.  Viagra first, for daring to set a wet run. Returning/visiting runner  Septic tasted a Tun. Virgin runner Jen was invited up to give her life story, and seemed to enjoy her Tun. The monk launched into some jokes, and it soon became apparent that he’d found the ex-Monk’s jokebook, as some were old chestnuts told again. Viagra told a very funny yarn about being single. A charge from Delicious against Zorro, for not having the bar open last Friday, resulted in a Tun o Fun. A further charge from Delicious along the same lines ended with the charge reversed and Delish Tunnin it. A few more jokes thrown in (including one from PeaBeau’s jokebook), and possibly more charges (can’t remember)….. and then The Monk called us to order with a request to sink to our knees, whilst calling Nicole forward. Previously known by the pseudo name of Sweetmeat 2, it was time for the bestowing of a real hashname. Nicole, it seems, has the surname Biddle. As in Biddle’s pub, which mysteriously burnt down many moons ago. It was revealed that Blurry has a mother. What’s more, her maiden name was Biddle. Therefore, with the aid of the family tree, we discovered that Nicole is Blurry’s brother 4 times removed on Uncle Albert’s side, said uncle having married his second cousin on Blurry’s great Grandfather’s side. Get the connection? No, I don’t either. But although Nicoles a PhysEd teacher, she has bar experience and a pub in the background….blah blah blah, her new name is Bar Wench.
After downing her Tun with great delight, Bar Wench went off around the circle to greet her peers. Meanwhile, The Monk called forward Delicious, and announced the committee had decided to bestow the honourary position of Hash Whip on her, for her tireless promoting of the club. With a whip draped around her shoulders, Delicious looked very, very scary. After that I can’t remember any more. The usual announcements were made, the song was sung, the circle was closed.
Viagra produced 2 big pots of chilli sausage stew with fresh bread. Must have gone down a treat, cause there weren’t none left! More bullshit was talked, more beers was drunk, and eventually the mob wandered off into the dark stormy night……
Sorry to ramble on so long….. but I just can’t help it.
Pensioner.

Run Date: 14^th November
Run No #1883
Hare: Prick
Venue: BBQ area at the Gooseponds
Hashers: 25

Hi Hashers, Prick’s run was set at the Goose ponds, and as usual the trail was both confusing, and a delight.

The runners set off in one direction, only to totally run out of marks, or onbacks, resulting in heading back the way we came, to head off in the opposite direction, supposedly the runners trail.

Anyway, the majority of us mearly wandered round for the obligatory hour then headed back for a cold beer!?!?

But what did we find back at home You say!!!  No Beer available. Our hash Piss was up to his usual trick of wandering along behind DT, somewere on the trail. Or in the Bowlo, with the Hash Piss locked up???

I shoudn’t talk, should I, It was the same when I was Hash Piss. Out on the run, when there was serious drinking to be done. Oh Well!!!

Any way, with savory hot spuds and sweet spuds to nibble on, while Hash Cash collected our oxford schollars, we all exchanged all the usual lies and gossip, before the circle was called.

Our new munk made a good job with telling some mediocre jokes, and Knot head surprised us all with a very clever joke about drones.

After the circle, Prick then produced a whole mess of vittles, consisting of his secret recipe of lamb crawdads with chitluns and grits, MMM!! Very nice Prick!!!  Well Done That Man!!!

Most Hashers were still eating and endulging till @ 9 o’clock, then we all departed to our burrows till next week.

That’s all from me, see you all next week.

ON ON Viagra.

Run Date: 7^th November
Run No #1882
Hare: Corgie & Daffodil
Venue: Quota Park – Binnington Esplanade East Mackay
Hashers: 23 includes Linda (new Hasher)

23 eager Hashers gathered for the fray; there were half still sitting and drinking piss with no intention of going anywhere when the pack headed off through the backstreets of South and East Mackay. They were still there when we got back! Nothing changes.

The streets of South Mackay were well marked with chalk; Prudhoe, Kippen, Scott, Goldsmith, Bridge, Goldsmith again, Waverly and finally to the beach. A doddle along the beach was on on back to the Park.

Afew beers and the circle was convened with the new committee in firm control. JCF dolled out the down downs assisted by Golly. A few charges, a few jokes, a drink for new Hasher Linda that Golly brought along instead of Raggedy Ann and then a great feed supplied by Corgi and Daffodil.

A good run then it was on on home to mummy.

On On
Prick