Run Date: 06.07.2015  #1810
Hares: Who Hasn’t Paid
Venue: Pacific Esplanade, Slade Point (Opposite Slade Court)
Hashers: 18

 

HHHi HASHERS

A motley crew of 18 assembled in the public park on the beach at Slade Point.

Come time for us to start the run, everybody was thinking very loudly, that apart from Baagoose, there was a very big lack of darksiders from the southern side of town, bloody slackers!!!

They stayed away in droves! Oh well…….

We all took off down the beach in an orderly chaos, as usual. Then bashed through some scrub trails, and out into the beautiful surrounds of Slade Point.

Poor old Pensioner buggered up his dicky knee on the sand tracks, and had to return to the starting point to rest and apply some ice cold medication to relieve the pain, poor old bugger.

The run was very good, with a variety of terrain covered, with lots of false trails and check-arounds to throw us off, and we all stayed together, which is unusual, even WHP stayed with us for the whole run.

Back home the hot garlic spuds and nibblies were greatly appreciated by all. Then the circle was called with the usual sick, and sometimes funny, sometimes corny jokes, then some charges n all.

Snot even charged poor old Hash Pisser (being me) because the beer can he had dropped on the ground getting it out of the Hash Esky, had a few little dents in it???    WOT THE FU#@K ?

The Hash vittles were really great, thanks to Breast Stroke, with hot curry sausages and veggies, and some glorious bread n butter pudding or incredibly scrumptious apple crumble with custard,  MMM  MMM!!!!!

Lots of bullshit was told and swapped by all and was interrupted by an occasional beer or cider, till we all departed @ 9:00 pm.  It was another great run, that’s fursherr. Thanks WHP.

See you all next Monday for my run.

Cheers and ON ON.

Viagra.

 

Run Date: 29.06.2015  #1809
Hares: Drip Tray & Cummalott with a little help from Nikka in Cummalott’s absence
Venue: DT’s place 13 Burgess Street North Mackay
Hashers: 27

 

Quite a crowd gathered at the rear of 13 Burgess St. North Mackay

At hash run start time we all got badgered to go out on the street to be given info regarding the markings for the pending run.

Gyprock and flour “plain” we were informed there is a walkers trail and runners would leap frog the walkers.

The 2 runners headed off to the ponds via Harrington St. and the walkers buggered of somewhere else.

Hot Rocks and WHP passed the walkers on the bike track at the back of the North Mackay Bowls club. And headed off up Canberra St. to Swayne St. past the Mackay Natural Environment Centre then around onto the levy bank back to the goose ponds past MCC, crossed Glen pack Rd. heading towards the dreaded Hill St. haul up to the top to the lookout, Hot rocks and WHP had mentally prepared themselves for the climb as athletes do, only to be foiled by a false trail at Burgess St, so they sniffed the breeze for the esky and headed home.

The walkers hadn’t returned so there was no crowd at the esky for a cool beer.

Hot Rocks and WHP cased the joint for a bit more wood in the end looked like we may have to pull the rafters out of the shed  as the was no stock pile of fire wood anywhere.

The walkers returned Pumpkin soup was served very nice the circle called to the usual whining and winging.

Usual frivolities Jokes and down downs etc.

We noticed the Flapps had returned from touring our great land he got a drink also.

Nosh was 4 different types of Sheepyard pie and stew and tasted great.

ON ON

WHP

Run Date: 22.06.2015  #1808
Hares: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Quota Park Quota Park Binnington Esp near the Ocean International.
Hashers: 20

 
All were gathered at the edge of the world. Much milling followed until Daffodil sent us off on our merry way. The trail led us through parts unknown, marks were lost at one stage until the Hare moved to the front of the pack stating ” The marks were clear in the daylight”. Go figure!!!  Maybe the piss stop was lost to the darkness as well.

After a good solid walk, runners were long gone so who knows what adventures these loveable larrikins found on the way, we returned to base camp and Hash Piss was open. A rousing cheer was heard from afar.

Cumalott made her usual bee-line for her own piss stop, only to be locked in the loo and would have been trapped all nite if not for the courageous effort by Streaker.

Golly’s raffle was drawn and Delicious was the lucky duck who won the wine in her absence.

Circle was called, bad jokes were heard and down downs were given. Baagoose getting a much deserved one for sending us to a closed Aero Club for TGIF drinks and not even turning up anyway. Circle closed and many drinks had by all.

Hash Nosh was served and Yummo, Corgi, kudos to you.

Knicka proved that chivalry was not yet dead and D.T. was cuddled up in his jacket for the end of a chilly evening.

Another successful Hash run had come to a close.

On On

Cummalott

Run Date: 15.06.2015  #1807
Hares: Baagoose & JCF
Venue: 7 Naish Street Mt Pleasant
Hashers: 26

 

Monday cleared to a clear night with stars even but clouded over like a blanket by 9pm.

All keen and ready 26 runners started from JCF’s house in Naish Street not far from Zorro’s old place. His new fire burner smoking in the corner of the yard. I noticed a pile of new timber stacked beside the house drying out. JCF said he got a trailer loader from Platypus Kuttabul Timbers.

Out front Baagoose gave us the run directions and that there was a drink stop and yes JCF had the esky in hand and he did say he was walking with it but we found out later there was no hare on the run so that’s why the whole run was not found.

I do recall Baagoose saying the run went right and right again and follow the marks on the pathway beside the creek and that there were two arrows where the runners were to follow but we didn’t find them. We went through pathways and streets behind the Greenfields old Bunnings store and back up to the main highway north and back down to the Tavern and across back home as the arrow pointed no two arrows here. We thought this was a bit short but the marks followed home.

Hammo rekindled the fire with splinters that he axed and a few frongs from the date palm I suggested having spent all weekend burning a couple of piles on our property. A bit of flapping for more breeze but it worked – a lovely smokeless fire glow. Hottie told us of the new metal detectors they were selling at this work so he tried them out at home so it looks like a bandicoot has been digging everywhere I bet.

Baagoose finally gave up and returned with the piss stop brew that no one found trail to.

We were quite comfortable around the fire but we were called to the circle by Pensioner.

Down downs for the Hares JCF and Baagoose and Baagoose again for making us all miss the second half of the run and missing the piss stop. Downs downs for the visitors Wanga and Just Horror known by Pensioner in the early days and visitors to our Louisa Creek Run and a Birthday drink for Streaker and Zorro.  Delicious tried to charge Teflon for not passing on the vibrator but was reversed because Sweet Meat was awarded it on the bus trip. Delicious and Cummalott took their down downs. Pensioner accepted a charge for what I can’t remember and Radish for being late.

Pumpkin Soup and Sausage Casserole was ready for Hash Nosh which everyone enjoyed and had plenty of. Blurry had a new down down song and JCF but I can’t remember it either. JCF’s mum was visiting and joined us all. I know where he got his height from.  Golly brought some mandarins which everyone took home to get our vitamin C intake. Golly’s raffle tickets in the wine are selling well.  Tonguer nearly toppled when his chair sank in the soft lawn. He was telling me he put on weight on his fishing trip to the gulf and was now trying to reduce his intake but Wendy’s cooking was too good to say no to.

Mango called time. Had to go home to watch Marriage at first site.

Cheers Corgie

Run Date: 08.06.2015  #1806
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Ave Andergrove
Hashers: 17

 

Typical run really we all knew that it would piss down because Delicious was the hare.

A small group braved the elements and confronted the natives of Andergrove as we set off into black of night following fictitious markers long washed away by Huey the rain god.

We soon pulled out our treasure maps to guide us which also proved futile as the h2o slowly washed the ink, chalk and flour from our lives.

With no markers and a soggy piece of toilet paper we looked again to the heavens for a sign when again they opened up, this time until the end of the run.

No piss stops except for Who Hasn’t Paid who decided to drop in on a lazy yet smart fellow hasher who also promptly evicted him after his freebie.

With no direction we decided to split up into small groups which promptly yet somehow with purpose and swagger, meander the streets and gutters of Andergrove for a while to make it look like we were serious hashers. Of course the main purpose was to make it look like we were not lost!

We all somehow made it back to the house of Delicious, well we think we did anyway, before fresh towels greeted the hashers. And nice towels they were too so soft and dry.

Our bellies were filled with pea and ham soup and we got stuck into the beer.

On On

JCF

 

 

Run Date: 01.06.2015 – #1805
Hare: Blurry
Venue: Cnr Alfred & Peel Streets, Mackay
Hashers: 26

“Is Tonguer here yet?” Blurry called.  “Tonguer is away” was the response from Shocker and Sweet Meat.  “Better start the run then” Instructions were given by the Hare to follow the trail on right from the driveway.  What was he thinking; there are no bloody pubs that way!!!!   The pack headed down Peel Street and followed the bitumen trail, ending up at Queens Park where it has been noted, that some Harriett’s did three laps in the hope of being propositioned by someone.   Corgi appears to have been the only Hasher that struck it lucky, by finding a golf ball.  This little ball caused quite an interesting conversation about Bangla Road, Patong night life in Thailand and all manner of tricks that can be done with Ping Pong Balls……..  It seems most of us have witnessed a show of this type!

As for the rest of the SCB’s some went to the Austral and some headed to Taylors, clearly not a lot of communication involved, just an estimation of which pub we thought was the closest.  If Smegma wasn’t laid up in hospital, he would have known the exact distance to the nearest pub.  Hope you get better soon, you ol’ bastard.  I heard you received a lovely array of flours (Plain/Self Raising etc.)

Back among the Bonsai, Beers and Bags of chips, the conversation was lively, until the circle was called.  Pensioner, who is never short of an Irish joke or three, was told his standards were dropping, might have to lift your game there laddie. There should have been a heap of charges from the Mystery Bus Trip on Saturday, which everyone seemed to have enjoyed.  But only silence, finally they charged Hot Rocks and Snot for not attending this awesome Hash Social event.  Snot was further charged for forgetting to pick up a rather drunk Insex.  Drip Tray for doing the porcelain bowl hug x 3 when she got off the bus.  A down down for a new, young, blonde virgin which will have to stay nameless as she remained silent in the 5 seconds of her life story.  That’s also because I have forgotten her name, sorry.  Great to see you at Hash as well Peter.  Returning Hasher Two Stroke after a lapse of 10-15 years commented “what an organised bunch of social pissheads Mackay Hash is now.”  The all Men’s Bowls Team, of Zorro, Who Hasn’t Paid, Golly and Nicka for actually having a win, for the first time in two years (Viagra must be the jinx). However Zorro didn’t appreciate the lemonade in his beer down down, and cries of “soft cock”, were heard as he tipped it out.

Executive Lunch will be at Taylors Hotel at 12:29pm, because they were going to get something for $5.00, bloody cheapskates.  TGIF drinks this week will be at the North Mackay Bowls Club.  No more Hash Business, Hash song sung and circle closed.

Hash Nosh was homemade BBQ rissoles, (best made with the use of an armpit – according to Robyn) Lettuce and Tomatoes, with crusty white bread.  Teflon yours was not raw, it is called Steak Tartare, and is very popular in Europe, you lucky girl. This was followed by Jam drop Biscuits and Banana Bread.

Everyone then gabbled more shit, until fill in Hash Piss Knicker Licker called last drinks, and we all went home.  Next week’s run is at my place, 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove (Queens Birthday Public Holiday) and yes it will probably rain yet again…….

On On
Delicious

Run Date: 25/05/15 – #1804
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 70 Satellite Crs at the Harbour
Hashers: Don’t Know

 

Hi Hashers

This will be interesting,  Knot head (apprentice to Hot rocks who we all know has never written a run report  in his entire hash history) just called with an amazing array of bullshit excuses as to why he cannot do the run report.  After  some intense bargaining, culminating in a huge blackmail ransom demand, I have agreed to butcher out a complete fabrication of the activities from last Mondays run.

As you have probably worked out by now my recollection of last Monday  is very limited, so let the fairy tale begin.

An unknown number of hashers assembled to listen to Zorro tell us that there would be no rain, the trail was in “night coloured”  paint, scrunched up tape, and to fuck off that way.  “That way” proved to be a recently churned up bush track where the ability to imitate a stump jump plough was a distinct advantage. This ended at the Outer harbour road where for a short time we were on a flat trail and then back on to a stump jump track again. After a short stint on Ron Searle and  Mount Basset drive we took the back track to the solar lit cemetery, then onto M B Cemetery Rd  to Harbour Rd where it was On On Home.  It was noted that the walk was near as dam it exactly 60 mins.  This had to be a monumental stuff up on Zorro’s part.

The time honoured attacking of the eskey  followed interrupted by short periods of eating corn chips with dip and boiled potatoes. Then the steady drinking and talking bullshit was rudely interrupted by the monkey calling for everyone to Form A Circle.  Zorro was given a down down for his efforts, then Nicka was call on to score the run.  As I was talking at the time and not listening I just told them how many beers I had  (2).  Everyone thought it was a good run score. Ha Ha

The monk regaled us with a string of jokes, Knot head muttered something  which only Cummalot  understood  “that’s scary”, Radish was fined for reaching some ridicules age, and most of what happened  after that is just a blur.  Talking  of  blur  I seem to recall Blurry displaying a severe case of “old timers ” when he forgot the verses of the Mackay hash song.  Circle closed

Nosh of Spaghetti  Bolinas  and chilli sauce was served and was attacked with gusto .  A few more quiet ones then the roadies brigade noticed that the eskey  was getting low so the exodus began.

Good run,  good food,  good evening

On On
Nicka  Licka

Run Date: 18/05/15 – #1803
Hare: Tonguer
Venue: 12 Hill End Road, Glenella
Hashers: 27

Hi Hashers

It’s amazing what a bit of rain can do to people? A couple of drops around 5.00pm scared quite a few pretend hashers from turning up at Tonguer’s abode, for what we all know is going to be a good meal disguised as a run.

About 27 hashers thumbed their noses at the elements and gathered at “Man Land “ to hear the Hares instructions, which the runnners completely ignored when they set off in the dark.  A couple of checks here and there, but really why bother, it’s a permanent trail clearly marked in orange fluro marker paint.  The runners like WHP and Sweet Meat thought they were heading for ‘Farview Tavern ‘ only to be called back to the pack. A nice stroll through Glenfields and passed the scribes old house that backs onto Jane creek, that wasn’t water proof back in 2008.   Along a very dark trail on the banks of Jane creek which was a tad spooky, given the tele movie on channel  7 on Sunday night!!! (Ivan who….)

Another couple of checks and then around the bottom of Magpies sports fields when we encountered headlights bobbing up and down coming back, being the well trained athletes bring up the rear.  Popeye said it must be the other walkers, but then around the corner came the front runners saying it’s a “false trail “  Which was answered by there wasn’t a check! WHP said it’s a false trial “white paint with a X thru it.  Clearly all 3 hadn’t listened to a word from the hare at the start? And one has to ask how they got there if they were following trail on white marks.

Anyway, all sorted with the Hare calling on on and around the back of the footy field back into street light territory when we come across ‘Shocker’ hanging around Glenella kindergarden, I was concerned for his state of mind so I asked if he was ok?  He mumbled some dribble.  We all knew that the piss stop was going to be Magpies, so we headed there for a refreshing ale only to find Smegma and Radish already perched up on the granny couch.  Hashers filled the front bar for 2 quick beers, then the on home was called.

We all sat around man land and talked shit until the circle was called . Down Downs to Hot Rocks, Sweet Meat ,WHP for whatever reason and then heaps of Irish jokes.  Sang the club song and then waited with drool coming out of the corners of our mouths for Tonguer and Wendy’s famous homemade wood fired pizzas.  Which lasted only long enough to touch the table top before being swamped by the hungry mob.  I estimate about 35 pizzas in all,  I think Tonguer is going for best nosh again.

A couple more drinks and then there was only Hahn Light left, so we packed up and pissed off, and not one bit of rain you pussy cats.

Next week’s run will be from Mackay Fencing yard, 70 Satellite Crescent at the Harbour, and don’t expect a culinary delight.  I am too busy working to pay for all you pensioners that have half price meals at the Grove.

On On
Zorro

 

Run Date: 11/05/15 – #1802
Hare: Knothead
Venue: 10 The Barons Drive, Andergrove
Hashers: 28

Hi Hashers

Well Knothead, what a damn fine evening.  Twenty three regular Hashers, three returning/visiting Hashers, and two Hash Virgins.  You certainly know how to pull a crowd.

The On On was called to the right, marked in chalk apparently!!! Almost a full on riot at the start, as no sign of the Hash Piss Truck??? WTF

Mixed reviews for the run from the circle later, but of course I wouldn’t know as I was in charge of the keys to the Piss Stop vehicle parked at Jaycee Park (Yes, I walked there). HHHmmmm Stones Green Ginger and unknown mixer (secret ingredient I was told) not bad though.  For those who actually made it to the piss stop and didn’t claim they were lost and hit the On Home button early, for fear of missing out on something.

Circle was called, Down Down for the Hare, Jokes from every direction, Pensioner, Zorro, Two Moons, Tonguer, Hot Rocks and others and charges galore.

Snot for impersonating Golly with his pension card to get $5 off entry to the motor show

Tonguer for reciting two jokes without the help of cue cards

Cummalott for totalling stuffing up a joke, I think the Vodka had already kicked in

Two Moons – visiting runner; Tubby 2 Dicks – Returning runner, who hasn’t hashed for over 20 years; Hooker – long time no see, glad you made you way back; Robyn & Camille – Hash Virgins – hope to see you both again.  Hash Song, circle closed.

Our illustrious Hare thinks cleaning his BBQ with petrol is a good idea, even with the gas bottle turned off, we were definitely going to have char grilled burgers with the paper still on them, much to Natalie’s horror, and fear of losing part of the back patio in flames.  The out of control fire in the BBQ was a highlight of the evening (pictures attached) However, luckily there was still enough non burnt burgers and sausages to go around.  You might want to consider sticking with the original fire, nicely placed out of the way in the back yard next time, and not get too carried away.

As we all milled about the fire consuming alcohol and generally talking dribble, hash quiet was called for an additional joke.  The “Carruthers Joke” what can I say about this….. Two Moons was in his finest hour, and it took about that long to tell the joke!  On his knees crawling in stealth mode, the dramatisation, the unfamiliar voices of the characters, and calling for assistance to aid in the tale.  All I can tell you is it was something about a Bam Bam that ended with two fingers up a Bengal Tigers Arse! Oh, the theatrics of it all………

While we were all still shaking our heads in disbelief at what we had just witnessed, Viagra called last drinks, and we all headed home wondering what the hell was that about?

Never the less, it was an interesting end to a great night.  Until, next week.

On On

Delicious (On behalf of the illiterate Tonguer)

 

 

Run Date: 04/05/2015
Hare: Raggedy Ann Run set by Golly
Venue: 4 Trochus Court Shoal Point (THE DARK SIDE)
Hashers: 20

20 Superbly fit athletes ventured all the way out to Shoal Point, to challenge themselves against the elements, for run # 1801.

The instructions were given….. “Run set on chalk and surveyors tape, and ON ON down to the corner, and turn left”, so off we scampered. It was here that I noticed Delicious had gone all out for this event, and had her very special runners on…….black rubber thongs, now that’s getting serious.

Well Hot Rocks, being as keen as he is, decided left was right, and off he went. The HARE called him back, but Hottie had the scent of chalk in his nostrils, and there was no coming back, hence Hottie did the whole run back to front. (Ed. Thought this would have justified a down down?)

The rest of the pack (minus SMEGMA, who opted to do his own shorter version) wandered off around the streets of Shoal Point, eventually going to the top of the only hill in Shoal Point, to gaze romantically at the Moon. ON we scampered down the left side of the hill, along to the shore front where GOLLIE had organized a piss stop….no beers, just the Shoal Point public toilets.

The Hare had said no sand, but like politicians, he told fibs, so on to the beach and soft sand, heading for Reliance Creek. Moans and groans were coming loud and clear from the pack, and at one stage I heard Golden Shower call out requesting me to carry her across the water……fat chance.

Eventually we made it back up on the hard stand, and came out on to Hodgers Drive, and back on to Shoal Point road. Here the trail went back down the road towards Bucasia, however the pack had had enough, and went straight back to Gollies Ford Café.

What a fine effort the walkers put in, to come in just after the runner (single) Hot Rocks. Well done.We attacked the esky like starving dogs, and parked our butts and tired legs on one of the many chairs provided.

Raggedy then produced an abundance of mini pies, chicken and beef, that must have taken Golly and Raggedy hours to make. They should go in to business because they just looked like factory made ones.

The circle was quickly brought to order, with the Monk starting proceedings with a broadside of jokes to get the show under way. Gollie was given a down down for setting the run, Golden Shower one also for a returning hasher, and a hasshy birthday for the 1^st May. A charge was made to Smegma for getting the wrong tide chart for the tragic fishing trip, however he explained that that was the trip before and resisted. Viagra was guilty of something, can’t remember what, as I was talking at the time, and whatever else happened I missed.

Jokes were a plenty, with Blurries voted the funniest, however Cummalot and her Confucius story was a classic. Tounger surprised the pack with telling a very funny joke, straight from his memory with no support notes, to finish off the circle. The Mackay Hash song was then sung with gusto.

A very tasty mild curry and rice was served, and plenty of it. The pack fed till full, and settled into aimless conversation. Gollie warmed his ass by the unlit fire, and the pack started to break off and head home.

Another successful run over the Dark Side.

Next week’s run is at Knothead’s home

BLURRY