Run Date: 27/04/2015
Hare: Radish
Venue: Riverside Drive Cremorne
Hashers: 25

We all started to gather on the bank of the Pioneer river on the BRIGHT side

The DARK side had there lights on so as to find their way. Some came  from

South some North but we all got there. Some of the old crocks walked to the

Rivers edge looking for their relatives .The Hare gave us the instructions on start

Up there 1^st Left at arrow Off we went most did not find marker S C B cut the

Corner. Off down track river one side cane on other While setting run hare

Was heard saying he came across a couple seedy character’s in the middle

Off the cane this is where the trail got a bit erratic for a bit gave the knees

A work out. Looking back all long river the dark side looked OK lights & reflection

On river. No checks  no false trails up all on bank to Marter hospital over to sams

Road across road towards Malcomsons road Right turn on walk ways back towards

Sams rd  Game off Russian roulette With cars but we all got over than headed

Back to on in.Paw Paw & 2 & ½ sibling’s had the nibbles out good choice.

Circled called Hare given down down some very bad jokes Knot Head hasn’t

Got any better..where’s Pea Beau. Golly got one for taking Raggedy Ann to

Magpies for 48^th anniversary had to pay full price not like some tight person

2 for 1. Smegma gave as a report on their fishing  trip Snots Fishing Adventures

Not a dull moment. Circled closed Hash Nosh was served Good hash tucker

More beer drank more bull shit was spoken last drinks called.Every one must

Have been cold all left early. Time for a fire another good night had.

See you all on the BRIGHT side ,

ON-ON GOLLY.

Run Date: 20/04/2015
Hare: Golly & Teflon
Venue: 37 Mango Ave Eimeo
Hashers: 33
‘Bring a friend night’

The usual gaggle of hashers slowly grew at Teflons on Mango Av. at Eimeo, not the easiest place to find a park, probably why they were a bit slow to gather.

Some 30plus supremely burnt out old crocs,and the others,headed off around the eimeo headland at dead low tide(luckily),along the beach and back along the guided tour route of beautiful downtown Eimeo.

Good run/walk,plenty of slippery rocks,soggy sand and the usual sandflies but not an endurance test like some eh Hotrocks.

Back at the Teflon abode the lock was duly removed and we all hooked into a coldie.

The circle was called and after the history of the internet and those who have used it delivered by our most esteemed and drivelous monk two new hashers received their official Hash titles of Popeye and  Sweetmeat. Then began the usual elbow pointing and frivolous accusations resulting in quite a few cold drinks for the convicted. Two run kilometrestone awards were duly awarded to Radish (author of this tripe) and Who Hasn’t Paid both reaching 300 runs.

The usual jokes etc after which circle closed,pizzas aplenty arrived and were scoffed down followed by,for the weight conscious,some very tasty desserts.

A very good night and hopefully some new regular Hashers.

 

 

 

Next weeks run on Riverside Drive at Cremorne. Run site about one kilometre from Barnes Creek Rd. BRING A CHAIR,TORCH AND BUGSPRAY.

On On Radish.

Run Date: 13/04/2015
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent Rural View
Hashers: 20

 

It seemed a quieter night at Pensioner & Mango’s ponderosa with 20 Hashers. Lovely evening weatherwise, with a cool breeze sitting out the back. The run report will be brief as was my bit of the walk as that consisted of walking down the driveway, so I can’t report on the run itself, but everyone seemed to enjoy it and arrived back sweaty and panting so must have been a good one.

Circle called & jokes shared.

• Hare gave himself a Down down for such a marvellous run.
• Down downs for returning runners Blurry been away for 6 months and Tounger been away for 4 months gallivanting about Tasmania.
• Down Down for Fucked for mobile phone on the run. Feeble excuse about having to sort out a fight with his children!
• Down Down for Cummalott for misplacing her torch last week & found it in the back of her car, Mango for their 25^th Wedding Anniversary, Drip Tray for Hashy Birthday and award for Hot Rocks for 1100 runs which was a camping cutlery set embroidered with details to commemorate the event.

 

Hash nosh served which were tender lamb pieces with gravy with boiled potatoes and breadrolls. Top Nosh Pensch & Mango.

On On

Teflon

 

Run Date: 6/4/15 (Easter Monday)
Hare: Knicker-Licker
Venue: Bucasia Beach Park
Hashers: 14

A mere 14 souls braved the elements to gather at Bucasia amid brooding grey skies and brilliant lightning. (The rest of the troops possibly weaving home from Easter or too bloody pissed to get there).

Knicker regaled us with stories of multi-coloured tape for runners and walkers alike, assured us there was no sand and gleefully sent us off in the direction of the sandy beach. Amid the lightning the rain began to fall prompting everyone to abandon such silliness and head back to the beer, with the notable exeption of WHP, who managed to complete the run. He then stripped off his wet gear and wiped his face with an old pair of jocks found in the depths of his car.

The circle was called, but as everyone huddled beneath the shelter roof, the circle became a rectangle. The Monk, recently returned from riding all over the country, launched into some poorly-received jokes and then gave up. Down downs for the hare, and for Driptray for wearing a hat in the circle….. er, rectangle. Radish received one for rushing off to a 4X4 sale, only to find there was no sale at all. Gary was then called forward to explain himself. It seems the redoubtable Mr Buttons has journeyed to The Philippines in the company of one Baagoose and one OuiOui, where, during a visit to Subic Bay H3, was officially named…… Jenny Craig’s Fucked.

In the interests of decorum, we decided to abbreviate that long moniker, but were unable to agree on JCF, or simply Fucked. I think Fucked will probably win.

Knicker-licker then produced a gastronomical delight…..an excellent cob dip, and……

 

Yep… that’s coloured rice…..which Cummalot took pleasure in destroying, and two curries. In case that wasn’t hot enough a selection of Hot, Bloody Hot and Faaaaarrrkkkk sauces were also produced.

The troops dived in, but around half was leftover, so Knicker’s right for a feed for the rest of the week.

More talking of shit and drinking of beer followed, until everyone decided en mass that enough was enough and headed off into the night. A small but enjoyable gathering.

OnOn Pensioner.

 

 

Run Date: 30th March 2015
Hare: Prick
Venue:  From under the south end of the Ron Camm bridge near the carpark and walkway..
Hashers: 22

 

On a stormy looking evening a motley group of hashers gathered on the dark and swampy side of the river,” No amount of walkways and paths built by council will ever improve this side of town.”

In a magnanimous gesture of good will and charity, a apprentice saint from the enlightened side has bravely ventured into the wilds of bouganville to try, for a few hours at least, to bring some peace and tranquillity to this troubled region.

SHUT UP SMEGMA

In tune with the confused psychic of these southern soles the enlightened hare wisely set a false trail, first up, so that they would have to return to start, where they were pointed in the right direction. Not given a choice, it saved confusion. By this time there was a reasonable mix of light and dark side hashers so the locals could be guided out of the false trails and dead ends. Although it must be said that the primeval cunning of the wisest of the locals came in handy in avoiding the darkest areas and other dangers.

We were also fortunate that the largest and loudest of the dark side’s protagonists decided that he would do his own trail which was a straight line to a point then straight back again. He was heard muttering something about a bad hip.  It’s probably gout.   (See paragraph 3)

Finally at almost exactly the one hour mark, all had returned to the esky. Except for the usual short cutters who arrived earlier.

The circle followed with the hare and others receiving the usual down downs. There was also a virgin runner and two visitors who also partook in the downing of amber liquid. There was one hasher who actually owned up to stupidity and nominated himself for a down down,  and was voted most worthy   ( see paragraph 5 )  Then the dark side weather struck and it pissed down, circle was closed without song and wimps ran for cover.

At this point we witnessed what must be some sort of dark side ritual. The table was picked up, with food, and rushed over under the Ron Camm bridge.  What this was for I have no idea, but I have seen something similar on a Dolmio add.  When they realised that the table was no were the esky they brought it back again.  Weird !

Another strange event took place, when the table was being returned the locals rushed around telling everyone to hide their drinks because the police were coming and we were not allowed to drink in a public place.  But it was only Drip Tray and Cummalot  wearing their hi vis  work raincoats.  Strange!

The Nosh was good and we all survived the night. With the evening almost over and the beer running low we quietly packed up, crossed over the bridge back to the enlightened side.

On On

Nicka Licker

Run Date: 23rd March 2015
Hare: Hot Rocks
Venue:  22 Sneyd Street Mackay
Hashers: 23

 

No run report – Prick forgot

FRONT

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BACK

Run Date: 16th March 2015
Hare: Showus
Venue: Farview Tavern 22 Chidlow Street Farleigh
Hashers: 26

 

Run report for Showus’ Run by  Hottie- (you’re a slack bastard so this report will be too)

All gathered up the hill in front of Farview Tavern. Showus pointed us down the hill and off we went. Very nice run through the back of Farleigh, through Cane paddocks and sugar mill till this SCB headed on-back.
Hash piss was opened then circle called.
Down downs were called for virgin runner, Karen, Showus’ partner, Peter, Delicious, Cumalott, Pub manager, Josh…. maybe some others. Congrats and towels were presented to Knicka – 217 runs and Smeg – 200 runs. We all thought the poo brown was a suitably shit colour for them both.
Jokes were told and circle closed.
Hash nosh was yummo – ta Josh- and a hashy time was had by all.
On On
Cummalott

Run Date: 9th March 2015
Hare: TARZAN
Venue: 4 Evans Avenue North Mackay
Hashers: 17

Well not a really big turn up for a change, only 17 runner/walkers.  Everyone arrived reasonably early but then to our amazement without 69 degrees there, everyone was still sitting and chatting at 6.05pm.

Tarzan gave us our instructions, asked Hot Rocks if he and any others were running but they indicated they were walking.  There was a piss stop, but of course Tarz had the key to the car with the goodies.

So off we set, across the road from the Kooyong, turning right towards the river, up the stoney ridge and under the bridge (he was only thinking of the short people), then up Sams Road for a couple of Ks, left onto the dirt road that comes out at Cremorne. The runners missed the pissed stop (who were supposed to be walking), cause they couldn’t find the car, and of course had no key for the drinkies anyway. Took us walkers about an hour which, all in all was a good run.

Back the Tarzans for gossiping, dips and the circle.

Not many jokes (well Pensioner had a few to be desired), Hottie charged for Viagra for being the worst shortcutter, said he was running but only ran to the Post Office and then when Hottie looked around Viagra had disappeared (we can only think, that he went back to Tarz’s to make sure no-one was getting into the piss early).

Nosh was curry and rice, full of snags and veges. Well done.

On On
SHOWUS

Run Date: 2^nd March 2015
Hare: WHP
Venue: 16 Lochmaben Court Beaconsfield
Hashers: 25

Another super special from WHP.(I thought). About 25 or so gathered at the start of what was an interesting stroll through Andergrove/Beaconsfield area with a few new sub-divisions thrown in for good measure. Lots of cross country & not too much roadways made for a good little workout but 10 of us still got horribly lost.

The circle was rather tame as our resident joke tellers were either absent or sadly lacking in new material. None spring to mind as particularly noteworthy. WHP copped a couple of down downs only because he didn,t have to drive home. Prick also for stealing the vessels from right in front of the Monk!!!

However the highlight of the night was Radars Nosh. His cooking talents were exceptional. Dessert also was served to the delight of all. Hard act to follow Birthday boy. Hashy birthday song for Radar who was rescued by Breaststroke after a big night. Tarzans run this week should be right for chairs as I have about 25 here. See you Monday.

On On
Tarzan.