Run date: 13/10/2014

Hare: Boom n Teflon

Venue: Eimeo SLSC

Hashers: 33

 

 

About 30 hashers gathered for the fray at the Clubhouse on the beach. This was the run to polish off the Away Run weekend up at Cameron’s Pocket, where we had gathered to take on the elements, rainforest, roaring streams and the Mushroom Party up the road.

The Hare started by handing out a few printed sheets with cryptic scrawl all over them. This he stated was a MAP. Of the RUN. This was DIFFERENT!!!  No fucking marks!!  No organisation!!  In fact, insult was added to injury, as he gave the map to Hottie.  Hottie who had left school at age 8, had a fair bit of trouble deciphering the map and was last seen looking at it upside down. He was concentrating very hard and obviously in a fair bit of trouble. Blurry and Pensioner came to help him, but their skills were no better. They were last seen having a blue over what the map was all about. I said to Teflon should I give them a hand, but all she said was  “Fuck Them”.
A verbal indication of the route was then given as very few of the Hashers can in fact read [ Hottie is in very good company ].  We all took off through the wilds of Eimeo, a few hills through to Dolphin Heads, along dark streets to the mangroves and then back to the beach. No water. No sand. No dirt. No mud. No marks. You work it out!
The circle showed a fair bit of promise as it was again conducted by the world’s best monks. The Hash mugs had disappeared, but landed in the circle from on high- a gift from God.  Pea Beau was in good form , and 69 had stowed the Box Brownie as she had run out of film after snapping at the Away Run. We had jokes, multiple charges and a down down  for the visiting  runners- Quickie 1 and 2, Quickette, Cone , Rummy and Garry.
Then we all had soup, steak rolls, salad, a few beers and when the beer ran out we all went home to Mummy.

Executive lunch on Tuesday set a new record of 18 starters. Is this a sign of increasing interest, or an indication the most of us are unemployed pensioners or simply unemployable! I feel we now have the numbers to approach Streaker [ again ] for Concession rates for those of us who are less fortunate then some of the more affluent. I can hear the answer from here!!

Next Run:  1 Kenzey Street, North Mackay.
Cheers. On On
Prick.

 

Run date: 06/10/2014

Hare: Baagoose

Venue: 21 Park Street Mackay

Hashers: 24

 

For the Labour Day long week-end the run was at Baagoose’s ponderosa where 24 enthusiastic hashers gathered ready for the run.

As always a bit of chatter before the run catching up on last week’s gossip. Zorro, Delicious, Blurry & Quickie amongst others had been to the Townsville 2000 away run at Crystal Creek Caravan Park north of Townsville.

Hare Baagoose gave us the full rundown about what/where/when of the run in 2 coloured chalks, flour & yellow surveyors tape. We set off in a south-easterly direction through Queens Park following the flour a few checks along the way along storm drains, around the streets through the sand hills in no-man’s land between the 2 Binnington esplanades along the fenceline then OH. It was well marked we got a little lost at times eventually finding trail again back to Baagooses.

There was a bit more chatter & Peabeau called the circle assisted by Golly , Baagoose got the usual down down, there were several very funny jokes by Peabeau, Tounger, Prick, Blurry but the best joke was by Cummalott where she managed to ‘pull’ Blurry in well & truly.

Zorro gave a short report on the Townsville run, with the news also that Snot was very excited at the prelube at the Townsville run he had a heart attack & ended up in Townsville hospital. (Get well soon Snot)

I got a down down for not going to the Townsville away run since I spend a lot of time up there. Teflon came in with the very good reason that I couldn’t make the week-end announcing that there was far more exciting news & that Strappa-dick-to-me (our daughter) had a baby boy! So Teflon got a down down as well for becoming a grandmother.

There were other down downs given & more jokes. Quickie seemed to receive her fair share for one reason or another. Everyone was reminded about the away run this weekend at Camerons Pocket. Don’t forget your hippie gear for Saturday Night.

Baagoose excelled himself with a really tasty beef & vegetable curry “VERY NICE Baagoose” well done.

Some of the hashers are going to have lunch at the Calen Pub @ 12.29pm on Friday before they go on to Camerons Pocket to set up for the weekends bash.

Have a HAPPY HIPPY HASH weekend.

ON ON
Boom n Bust

Run date: 28/09/2014

Hare: Knothead

Venue: 10 The Barons Drive

Hashers: 21

 

The mob gathered, as usual.  At Knothead’s place.  Your scribe had thought that it was to have been at Smegma’s place, but who knows.  So I hauled out my trusty GPS to get me there.  Typing into the address line…” Knothead’s place”   yielded  #@$%&)!(##@@.

So that was the end of that.  So much for useless technology.  Take it back to Pea Beau’s mob to get a refund because their wretched machine doesn’t even know how to find Knothead’s place.

Anyhow, the pack assembled.  Then we were waiting for Tonguer – as per bloody usual.

Eventually a Group 6 decision was made that he wasn’t coming tonight, and the hare sent us off with some fuzzy directions.  I don’t remember much about the run itself, not very memorable, suffice to say that it was a pleasant amble in good weather around the streets of Andergrove.  I suppose that the most memorable thing about it was that the trail formed a perfect rectangle.  Even I did not get lost on this one. But a bloody lazy and unimaginative hare.

So, back to Knothead’s place, the Hash piss ute seemed to have undergone some radical restructuring since last week.  But the beer was just as plentiful, and just as cold.   Goodie.

For some reason, Knothead had started a fire off in one corner of the yard, so the pack was split into two centres.  But who really cared.  Nice snacks to fend off the hunger pains until the monk appeared in his habit-like monk’s attire. Something was definitely up.

Circle called.  During the ensuing melee, the monk reprimanded Blurry, whose excuse was that he was talking on his phones speaker with Radish.  Who cares.  However the monk was having trouble exerting control over an increasingly unruly assemblage.

The hare was called for a down down.  WHP gave a run report – Fucking Boring.  And fair enough.

Knothead had barely downed his down-down when the monk blurted out his first joke.  Kind of like he had been bottling it inside, and the joke finally burst out into the open.  But nobody got it, so no harm done.

Blurry called Baagoose for a down down for something or other, unworthy of a mug of piss – but who cares?

The monk called for returning runners – Two Moons and Mr Squiggle.

Then the monk let fly with another joke – as bad as the first, and it, too, fell flat.

Blurry got a down down for failing to produce a run report for last week.

Smegma charged the monk for failing to adequately secure his possessions while sleeping in front of his TV, after more than a few scotches, with his earphones on.  So somebody let themselves in, knocked off his iPad, phone, camera and wallet.  Bloody Pea Beau.

The monk charged the GM for his birthday.

Golly called for a charge and a minute’s silence for Zorro and Prick.

Linda got a down down for sucking up to the monk.

The monk ordered all the circle onto their knees – with special dispensation for Flaps.

Linda was called front and centre. A Naming.  First, after some discussion, she was christened as  Cummalott.

Meanwhile, Two Moons is smooching Cummalott, but she didn’t seem to be too excited about his attentions.  Resulting in a charge on Two Moons for over-achieving.

Second naming for  Leanne who was called out front and centre. After some discussion, the name was chosen, with ensuing christening Drip Tray.

 

 

 

 

 

 
Then a charge on Knothead for having a haircut while the pack was on the run.

Charge on Two Moons for new shoes.  He got the full on proper fill and took it as a dunking – what a waste of piss.

Cummalott then charged Two Moons for Spillage.

In desperation, the monk closed the circle with the Hash Song.

Then to Hash Nosh – pretty good and tasty.  Lots of piss and plenty of bullshit ensued.

Not a bad night’s business.

Your scribe, Baagoose

Run date: 22/09/2014

Hare: ShowUs

Venue: Annie Wood Ave Park , Mt Pleasant 

Hashers: 18

 

G’Day all

 

No run report seems like everyone and no one was doing it!