Run Date: 10/11/22
Run No: 2189
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Ave, Andergrove
Hashers: 22

On behalf of Tonguer, who apparently can’t spell.

 

20 or 30 hashers turned up to enjoy the pissing rain….. well, that’s what we’ve come to expect from Delishio…. But bugga me, not a drop to be had.

Anyway, Delish forced us out to the front gate, and informed us she had procured the services of trailmaster Daff. Of course, he knew nothing about it, so, armed with a stick of chalk, declared a live hare run, and set off laying the trail whilst we tramped along in pursuit. Eventually we got sick of traipsing around Andergrove, and headed on home to the beer. There we listened to tales of caravanning from Snot n Insex, who appear to have returned, after running out of roads to explore in outback Oz.

The Monk called for silence, and entertained us with more bloody history, before distributing down downs to the hare and non-hare, another for Delish, some for  returning runners Snot n Insex, probably more for other hashers, but I wasn’t paying attention thinking Tonguer was writing this report, but no…..  he don’t write apparently!

There may have been some jokes, and there was some charges, and maybe some tall stories, but all has been lost in a blurrrrr.

Circle done with, we settled into some curried type nosh, which must have good, cause there weren’t none left over.

Tucker done, we sipped some more booze and nibbled some cake, and then went home in the pissing rain. Except it wasn’t raining.

OnOn to Tonguer’s pizza shop next week.

Pensch.

 

 

 

Run Date: 03.10.2022
Run No: 2188
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 35 Graves Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 23

Surprisingly, 23 hashers turned up for run #2188 hosted by Zorro –
Hare Matches. Obviously, nothing better to do on a Public Holiday!
Hash famous Oyster & Salmon dips with Jatz Crackers served up on
the runners & short cutting bastards return. Followed by a large pot
of hot spuds and butter.
Circle called, and history lesson over.
No S.H.I.T.T.Y. song for this trail, which the Hare was rather thrilled
about. I did hear Lassie fell over on the run, but I don’t think it was
remembered in the circle, except maybe by Lassie….
Charges for Zorro, just because we don’t want him to feel left out
each week. JCF returning runner, Streaker, Mango & Hooker for
yabbering in the circle. Maple Syrup & Piccolo for thinking it was
Sunday and making Knicker wait, while she cleaned the fish tank.
Delicious received her shirt for 500 runs, which Tarzan was going to
sing her special song for regardless.
Jokes – Blurry, Pensioner & Blurry.
Executive Lunch – Laffos Café, Canelands, River Entrance.
Last raffle for the year was a $70.00 Sorbello’s Restaurant Voucher
won by Fork (you can thank JCF for that). Amidst quite a bit of
protest that she wasn’t there, and it should be re-drawn!
Next week’s run at 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove.
Circle Closed, and Rissoles, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese, Beetroot and
bread was served up for everyone to tuck into. Very yummy indeed,
but sadly the tomatoes were nowhere to be seen. Matches found
them still in the fridge after the Tim Tams were devoured, maybe
next time?
Sorry Zorro & Prick, but it is what it is………

 

 

Run Date: 26^th Sept, 2022
Run No #2187
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: John Breen Park , Nth Mackay
Hashers: 27

Subject: new golf book

“This may help you improve your game

I kept this very quiet but I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I’m asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read. This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my 20+ years of golfing experience.
Highlights include:
Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 4) When to Give the Greenkeeper the Finger
Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 09:00
Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

The book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY –

A Diego Maradonna – a nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie – an impossible read

A Philip Schofield – thought it was straight, but it wasn’t.

A Cuban – needs one more revolution

An Elton John – a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler – two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat – ugly and in the sand

A Kate Moss – bit thin

A Gerry Adams – playing a Provisional

A Brazilian – Just shaved the hole.

A Rodney King – overclubbed

An O. J. Simpson – got away with it

 A Princess Grace – should have taken a driver

A Princess Di – shouldn’t have taken a driver.”

ON-ON Zorro 

 

 

Run Date: 19th September,2022
Run No #2186
Hare: Hooker
Venue:  5 Margaret Grace Place, Mt Pleasant
Hashers: 18

 

18 or so hashers wandered into The Home of the Hooker and stood around chewin the fat, until Daffodil yelled OnOn and pushed the gang towards the road. It was about then we realized Hare Hooker was not the hare at all, having conned poor old Daff. Hmmm, we thought. This ain’t gonna be a short Hooker type trot, rather a full blown gallop around the darkening back blocks of Glenella, or is that area Mt Pleasant? Dunno, but on and on we went, until finally splashing along an open drain, and miraculously finding ourselves a mere 2 streets from the start. Well done Daff!

Milling around sipping beers, we were tempted by a large pot of little boys and red sauce. Typical Hooker fare, I guess. Hooker ushered her new housemate into the spotlight, introducing Yoshi, a Japanese girl endeavouring to learn English. Poor bugga seemed completely lost trying to understand fast talking Hashers armed with beer.

The Monk called the circle, during which many down-downs were administered, none of which I can recall. Likewise, a few jokes were mumbled, which I can’t recall. More down downs, and general bullshit, none of which I remember. The GM made some announcements, but I don’t remember them. So, with almost the entire evening a blur, we sung the song, and returned to beer n bullshit.

Hooker then produced a big pot of curried snags along with rice and fresh bread. I remember that, very tasty it were!

More dribble, then everyone raced off home to watch The Queen’s Funeral. R.I.P. Lizzie.

Next week, we won’t be at The White House On The Hill. Mainly because we’ve sold the joint and don’t live there no more. What’s more, the old folks home we’ve moved to doesn’t appreciate loud swearing Hashers pissing on their gardens, so our run will be from John Breen Park.

See ya there.

Pensch

Run Date: 12^th September,2022
Run No #2185
Hare: Golly & Raggedy
Venue:  4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point
Hashers: 23   

All the road works looked like they were finished and it was a good run down to Shoal Point. Lassie and Fork were keen to get the run underway calling “are we” followed by the Hash Horn. All out the front Golly let us know the run was marked in chalk and lime and there was  a refuelling stop while Maneki and PF joined us. Keep to the left Golly said, so I thought we were going along the road in but it was up the road and around to the setting sun and the red lights first. The first climb had Hooker a little puffed so she slowed up for a moment and still did the distance to the drink stop. Lassie, Smut, Daffodil and Pensioner led the pack to the park and around to where Golly and Fork were waiting with fresh orange slices followed by Green Ginger Wine Fruit Mix. Apparently Wheelie eats the orange skin and all and so does Piccolo. On the way back I found a rubber pig toy and left it there for PF to find and take a selfie with in the middle of the road which he later got charged for. Golly lit his fire with a bit of kero which worked well. Blurry was late and missed the run because he thought it was Hookers Run and went there first. Party Pies. Sausage Roles, Cherios and hot potatoes were our entree and they soon disappeared. Raggedy saved some for Lassie and Fork who did a beer replenishment run to the bottle-o. Smut called the circle and we remembered the years gone by. Lassie remembered Bonanza, Zorro remembered the Monkeys and Delicious remembered  Pink Floyd. Golly & Raggedy were charged for their run. Golly took the down down for setting the run. Charges and jokes were told by Delicious, Blurry, Pensioner and Flaps. Fork was charged for not using the hand brake when parking outside the bottle-o and Lassie got charged for getting Fork lost on the way back. Zorro was charged for loosing his beer and cooler and Golly for steeling it. Top Knot was charged for not wearing a Hash T shirt. Hash Nosh was curried mince and curried sausages with fried rice and bread and butter. Our thanks to Raggedy for a very tasty and filling menu. Chocolates and Tim Tams were desert.  Great run, location and company.

Cheers Corgi.

Next Weeks Run is from Hooker’s place, 5 Margaret Grant Place, Mt Pleasant

 

 

Run Date: 05/09/22
Run No #2184
Hare: Daffodil and Corgi
Venue: Muller Park, Boundary Rd, Ooralea

A  strange lot of hashers turned up a the Dog Park with out there, Dogs  so we had to share the 2 dogs that turned up. Off we set following Daffodils trail up hill and down dale around the streets of  Ooralea.

Some going the distance others looking for a watering hole but was too far so they turned back,  there hash names I have forgotten but some might remember.

Circle called 5 min took some time to sink in but we all stood up and the history lesson started not many wright answers.

Charges were called for Zorro for Still having long Covid loss of smell. As he could not sniff out Hash piss exky. Other charges but not worth Remembing

Some jokes and a run down on Flaps bent and screwed upbringing.

Nosh came out and was devoured more chatter more piss Minni  missed

Out as Whillie wasn’t  there for the scraps on the ground.

Good night again as usual .

See you at 4 Trochus Ct.

ON-ON GOLLY>

Run Date: 29th Aug 2022
Run No #2183
Hare: Maneki Pussy
Venue: 44 Mango Ave, Eimeo
Hashers: 19

I’ve no idea how many people gathered at Maneki Pussy’s, but let’s just say there was a gathering of some of our best!
We set off fairly close to 6pm & sorry to say, Bad Hooker strikes again! Yep I’m a short cutting bastard, so I’ve no idea what the trail was like. Zorro & HAB are no help either, as I hear tell they headed straight to the Pub.
Regardless the group wandered back, some making it to the piss stop, with most muttering something about too many hills etc. etc. It’s a ‘Hash Fact’ that its near impossible to set anything other than a shitty run.
The Monk had gone to a lot of trouble as usual to open the assembled Circle with a trivia lesson, whereby our sharpest minds compete fervently to win the respect of ‘His Hash Highness’.
The trifecta! Bad Hooker again…………I had the first down-down, but I’m dammed if I can remember why?
Charges followed hard & fast with Wheelie being charged for spilling the hash brew; Monique Pussy for locking herself out of her own house & of course no meetings complete without Zorro receiving a down-down is it? He and Half-a-Boat were re-named B1 & B2, for short cutting straight to the pub.
Thank to our regular jokesters Flaps, Blury & Pensioner for providing some laughs & for a poor but courageous attempt by Pussy Fucker, at a pretty off Pig joke. (Maybe I could suggest an encouragement award at the upcoming APGU}

Returning runner Zoe & Virgin Runner Jo?? were welcomed to the fold. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: Our amazing Golly, (Golster) to some, was presented with an award for his 500th run now he really is a hasher through & through.
On On Hooker

Run Date: 22^nd  Aug 2022
Run No #2182
Hare: Tarzan & U Turn
Venue: 4 Evans Avenue
Hashers: 22

 

A quantity of 22 hashers, 2 dogs for Tarboy’s Run #2182 for 22.08.22.

A wander through the neighbourhood with a piss stop, and a tasty brew it was. With a secret ingredient, even Wheelie enjoyed a tipple.

Circle called, plus phone a friend on the blower: Madame Curie. Charges for Piccolo and Pensioner (The Duck Plucker), and Roof Jumper, Top Knot. Also a joke from Blurry’s Amish family connection. Circle closed with drinks raised to honour, JCF’s father, Barry Button.

Traditional nosh of sausages was served on a tablecloth of memorable events of hashing for U Turn and Tarzan.

On On

Matches.

 

Run Date: 15th Aug 2022
Run No #2181
Hare: Maple Syrup
Venue: 66 O’Brien Esp, Shoal Point
Hashers: 22

 Report for run 2181 on Mon 15/8/22.Big roll up for Maple Syrup’s run @ Shoal Point(22 ). Many more than our last few efforts. Took off on a largish false trail (roundabout) &   Back past the ON ON site. Methinks we lost a couple of short cutters  here.SCB,s.There we’re  3 trails all up & the pack split up accordingly. All back home safely & the voting concluded that it in fact was a good effort by Maple Syrup. She then copped about 3 Down downs for Various  reasons. (No Driving is good) Returning runner Hard Drive, & 2 virgin runners  John belong Maple Syrup & Zoe belong Wheelie & Top  Knots  gang. Only a couple of feeble jokes were told & then the Nosh was served up. The usual dip & chips, bikkies etc., followed by an excellent meat dish ,& vegan variation. A good night was had by all. Toddled off then to our respective homes. See you next week at the TARBOYS joint. ON ON.

 

Run Date: 8th Aug 2022
Run No #2180
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: 30a Palm St,  Cremorne
Hashers: 19

 
Eighteen (or was that nineteen?!?) Hashers rocked up to Half a Boat’s Palm St parking lot for Run #2180.  There was a breezy cold front coming in but that didn’t deter 1000’s of hungry mosquitos and one intrepid scooter driver from participating with everyone else.  Private lessons with Matches in downloading the scooter app and passing the test were available on request!
Hare was a little slow getting us underway…way too many interesting conversations going on to get down to business…but once off it was full steam ahead over the bridge and toward the river mouth.  Blurry was in the lead till his dog stopped for a s**t.  Impressively he had a doggy doo-doo bag.  The rest (??) walked on and on.  Arrows were big and white and kept us all on the trail though there were moments of …”still haven’t seen an arrow”.  About 50 minutes at a good clip had us rushing for the coldies, wondering (not) how some certain people were already on the piss and why the night had suddenly warmed up!
Circle was called with a 5 minute warning.  Flaps helped Zorro with a history lesson and told the only jokes of the night.  Everyone was in a good mood so only Delicious coped a charge, for getting engaged!  TarBoy got the birthday song.  Meanwhile Half a Boat was stir-frying up a storm and presented Sweet and Sour delectables, pork and chicken with fried rice to very hungry runners.
Wheelie and TopKnot almost stayed the distance, so the Covid crisis must be over, and left a doggy bag of cold ones when they hit the road.  Most followed shortly and drove off but Matches had to hoof it over the bridge when her rent-a-scooter refused to move.  It must have been peed-off she parked in a no parking zone!
See you next week at Shoal Point
On-on, Maple Syrup