Run Date: 25^th January, 2016
Run No #1840
Hare: Drip Tray & Cummalott
Venue: Northview Gardens Park on the Corner of Schapers Road & Royal Boulevard, Glenella.
Hashers: 25

 

No run report this week.

Run Date: 18^th January, 2016
Run No #1839
Hare: Oui Oui & Champion
Venue: 60 Wattle Street Andergrove
Hashers: 18

Hashers gathered amongst the wildes of the Andergrove bushland. Very excited for their free mangoes and mossie bites. We set off following a live hare whose only apparent intent was to show off his piece of paradise. 15minutes later the hashers escaped the compound and headed out into the real world.

 

Much oohing and aahing was heard from the group as we passed some impressive parcels of land, meanwhile we were being tailed by a very suspicious looking vehicle driven by an even more suspicious driver.

 

On back to hash piss. The lack of an outer-space visible bonfire was no doubt due to the absence of Corgi.   Circle was called and down downs and jokes followed. Circle closed with the reprise of ye olde hash ballad.

 

Yummy hash nosh was washed down with even yummier hash piss and the night ended with disappointed mango-loving hashers only taking home their free mossie bites. Although pensioner still got to take his home.

 

 On On DT

Run Date: 11^th January, 2016
Run No #1838
Hare: Sweetmeat (with Shocker’s Assistance)
Venue: 148B Kippen Street, South Mackay
Hashers: 22

 

We arrived at Sweat Meats place, an Old Queenslander and sat around greeting people. Lassie and Tonto turned up second week in a row. Sweet Meat gave instructions for the run and we set off down the streets through the heat and humidity and road works. Passed a car that smashed into a house with police and ambulance carrying out the dead. One look at this, Lassie and others turned to Delicious for direction. Who took control and Lassie and Oui Oui were then driven to the Country Club for stress relief. One small beer was bought, a nice couple saw our stress and bought us another larger one.

On our return, the pack was being relieved of their money. The circle was called. Jokes were told and everybody laughed (had too).

Gollie was sung Hashy Birthday.

Hooker got a down down for being on the phone making money and not sharing it with us.

New Hash Down Down songs were sung and than we reverted to the old ones.

Sweet Meat and father PJ got a down down for riding a Harley.

Wonder Bra lost her earring and Tonger lost his keys. Oui Oui got a down down for his hat being stolen by Pensioner (Snot was not there). Pensioner also returned Oui Oui’s mug that he stole that night. That’s Snot, Hotrocks and now Pensioner they’re all Kleptomaniacs.

Delicious finally got her Full Moon mug for being the best Sexretary ond the only committee member for Full Moon Hash.

We then had good healthy food made by Sweet Meat. I know why she looks so skinnie and healthy. Kept drinking and talking bull shit. Stole some beer and went home.

Oui  Oui

Run Date: 4^th January, 2016
Run No #1837
Hare: Mango & Pensioner
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hashers: 18

 

Well, all the Hashers had gathered, champing at the bit, for the word had got around, that the Hare had set a run, and they were equal to the frey???  WTF!!!  Is this from the Hare from Snowy River, or something???

Pensioner had apparently set the run, but rain had somehow washed away the marks, OH D-OHH?

So he came up with a briliant idea of having a Great Race style run, complete with secret clues and directions in numbered envelopes , openned in order, at every check.

Anyway, the resulting run worked out well, with us touring out and around the hills of Northern Beaches district via Woolies, then back home with only a slight sprinkling of rain, which kept us all nicely cooled during the run.

Back home at Pensh and Mango’s place, the nibblies came out, followed by a timely circle,with the usual mildly funny jokes told, then some returning runners honoured with a cold tun down their throats.

Then out came a glorious feast of Curnal Bogies Buggered Bird, with potato ratatouille, tossed rocket salad, and hot garlic bread. Very well done Mango,

An evening of hot gossip, and even hotter bullshit was both swapped, and enjoyed by all.

Which left us all hungering for an even better run from Sweetie next week at Kippen Street on the dark side of town.

ON ON Viagra 

Run Date: 28th December, 2015
Run No #1836
Hare: Cummalott
Venue: 20 Hawkins Street Bucasia
Hashers: 15

Cummalott found an empty house in Bucasia, so, like a bunch of squatters we moved in. With the festive season in full swing only 15 Hashers turned up to brave the elements…… well, only 13 to start with, before WHP got a call from Daffodil asking where the hell was everyone….. seems he and Corgi had missed the change of venue email, and turned up to a very lonely Botanic Gardens. A quick realignment of the SatNav saw them heading to the Bright Side of Bucasia (actually, it was getting quite dark as storm clouds loomed). After waiting 20 minutes, we decided stuff em, they ain’t comin, so off we went down the hill and around the corner, when in rolled the aforementioned Corgi & Daff, who quickly ditched the car and joined the fray. Across the main road and into the back streets and round and round Bucasia, with the rain getting ever closer, eventually we all returned to the squat. Amid tales of Chrissy Dinner, cash was collected and, after The Monkee had put out some Tun to get warm, the circle was called. A request from last week for some new hash songs was delivered upon, your Monk having done a Google search for hash downdown songs….. easy to find, everyone can have a go!. Down downs were delivered to the Hare Cummalott, Viagra for his 69^th birthday, WHP’s son Klinger got 2, one for being a return runner, another for telling a woeful joke, and WHP had one for being on call and answering the phone. Even your Monk had a taste, for reasons that defy belief (insert….. can’t remember) A few more jokes from the Monkee and the Monk and we ran outta things to do. We sang the Hash Song with gusto, and then, before closing, and acting on another request, your Monk revealed a magnificent tenor voice, and delivered a new Hash Song. So now we have 2 to choose from. (Delicious will distribute some copies next week)
Circle closed, and we settled in for a beer or two, followed by a tasty chille sausage stew with spuds and bread, quickly gobbled down. Then, remarkably, the talk turned to how Daffodil got his name, something about Daffodil margarine and taste buds on your tongue, at which point Daff unfurled quite possibly the world’s longest tongue. Squeals of delight from certain Harriettes saw Corgi cringe in embarrassment, whilst the blokes shook their heads and had another beer.
Then the assembled crew bagan to wander off home, leaving Cummalott to squat alone.
Next  week’s run will be from our place…12 Douglas Cres Rural View. Bring your mountain boots.

On On, The Monk.

Run Date: 21^st December, 2015
Run No #1835
Hares: Delicious
Venue: 17 Tropical Ave Andergrove
Hashers: 24

A fairly decent gathering turned up to get drowned at a “Delicious Run’. Well the clouds were there but didn’t hold up to expectation and hashers returned very dry in more ways than 1. The run was well marked and took us through the wilds of Andergrove, a feature being a walk through the Black Forest – Mwahahaha – (insert scary laugh here).

Back at Casa Delish, drinks were had then circle called. Visiting Runner, No Name Sam was looking very fetching in the new t-shirt. Down downs were then had by virgin hashers,  WTFA-Todd and WTFA-Daphine, with Cumalott earning 1 for jumping the gun.

Circle closed and Hash Nosh was on.

Another successful run was over. And Merry Hashmas to all.

Cumalott

 

Run Date: 14th December, 2015
Run No #1834
Hares: Hooker & Hot Rocks
Venue: 4 Pharlap Parade Ooralea
Hashers: 36

 

36 intrepid hashers turned up at Hooker’s new abode….. yep, the Christmas Party brings em outta the woodwork.

With the usual milling around and access to the beer, the run looked like a non-event, until Hotrocks called the faithful together. Muttering something about chalk, left or right side, follow me, and Smegma has a surprise in store…..off the pack went. At the first check Hotty encouraged the mob to head straight on, before gleefully calling them back after a mile or so, then ran quickly out of sight chasing Sweetmeat. About this time Flaps and myself decided our jointly buggered knees wouldn’t stand up to another Hotrocks Marathon and headed back to the beer, where we found 8 or 9 likewise physically retarded pissheads joyfully sucking away on coldies. The mob, apparently, roamed around the Depths of the Darkside in Ooralea before entering the esteemed Boomerang Pub for a refreshing piss-stop. And not a Smegma in sight. Eventually they all wandered back in dribs and drabs, and settled in around the eskies. The Smegma Surprise turned out to be his trip to the Sunshine Coast, so yes, we were surprised. But really couldn’t care less.

Being a Chrissy Party, a big box of prawns was produced, which were quickly gobbled down by a ravenous horde, until eventually all that was left were prawn heads, which OuiOui snaffled to take home to feed his fish…… but I suspect were more likely turned into a seafood stew or some such. HashCash called for money, after which the Esteemed Monkee called for a circle to be formed, along with a warning that those who interrupted The Monk would be Tunned immediately. At which point Pants, never one to keep quiet, was called forth for the first delightful Tun down-down. Which, I presume, had an adverse effect, judging by the wobbly boot she soon displayed. DownDowns for the hare Hotrocks, and host Hooker followed, and then the jokes and charges flowed. Newby Brian had a delightful drink from his new shoe, Hooker’s daughter Ebony, and friend Linda also  tasted the wonderous Tun. A blast from the past, in the form of Trickle was called up for a returning runner sip, but disgraced herself for claiming our esteemed Tun tasted, in fact, like shit. We already knew that. McFanny called Cummalott forward, and returned her pilfered 50 run cap, taken mere minutes after being presented, and earning Cummalott a nice Tun. A second Tun was moments away, as the cap, worn whilst still in the circle, was quickly removed. GM Zorro had a drink for being in the Bowls Final leading the men’s hash team. More jokes, some good, some woeful, entertained the pack, until finally the circle closed with a rousing rendition of the Hash Song.

It was around this time that Radish sauntered in, still in work attire and covered in grease and coaldust, which triggered frightful memories for us retirees.

Then it was into the nosh…… ham, chicken, potato bake, salads, fresh rolls…. all stuffed down to keep the prawns company. More beers, until, as if by magic, Santa arrived with his little helper, to hand out presents to the assembly. Santa’s suit was a little ill-fitting, and Flaps ‘d around a bit, especially when sat upon by willing Harriettes, and more than a few Harriers….. (you’re a sick man OuiOui). A final indignation was the flashing of Santa by the slightly wobbly Pants.

Pressies were stashed away, and out came desert……. more food…… rum cake and non-rum cake and rum balls and custard and ice cream and trifle and apricot balls……

And about this time fully stuffed Hashers started to wobble off home.

All in all, a great night and a great success.

Many thanks go to the committee members who all chipped in to create the evening and brought along all the goodies.

 

OnOn…….

The Monk.

 

Just a few pics from the night.

 

 

 

Run Date: 7th December, 2015
Run No #1833
Hares: Knothead
Venue: 10 The Barons Drive, Andergrove.
Hashers: 20

A little difficult to write a run report  on something I didn’t participate in, however according to the Hare, the run was marked in every coloured chalk he could find, marked on the left and the right and anywhere in between.  Sweet Meat was the first runner back, in around 30minutes with a rather red face, and the rest of the pack straggled in thereafter. A usual stroll around the streets of Andergrove, encompassing Jaycee Park and Kimberley Estate Shops.  Run report given by Streaker, was that it was boring! Well you just can’t please some Hashers from one week to the next, too short, too bloody long whatever….

Amidst kids and dogs running in every direction, and insect repellent being sprayed everywhere, the circle was called.  Apparently our honourable Monk was running short of joke material this week, as he resorted to using a Joke Book found in Knothead’s shed, lame indeed, which the Hare had to take several down down’s for.  More jokes were told, charges called, Screw for wearing a hat in the circle.  Oui Oui was finally given his ‘Pyromaniac of the Year’ Award from the AGPU.   A Hashy Birthday song for both Smegma (61) and Corgi (same age as Daffodil?)

Pench was charged for some unknown misdemeanour, he was obviously guilty and very thirsty, and quickly sang himself a song and skulled the ‘Tun’ down down. The GM was finally able to have a skite about the All Mens Bowls Team having a win, not a bad effort, for the second last game of the season!  You all definitely did deserve a drink for that.  TGIF this week is at the North Mackay Bowls Club, Malcomsen Street, North Mackay, if anyone is interested.  We then made it through only 2 Verses of the Hash song, and the circle was closed, some Hashers were a little put out by this turn of events, but oh well shit happens.

Hash Nosh was Spaghetti Bolognaise & Pasta, swilled down by plenty of Hash Piss.  A much earlier evening, than last week for most.   See you all at the Xmas Party at Hooker’s, 4 Pharlap Parade, Planlands and don’t forget your Secret Santa Present.

On On

Delicious

Run Date: 30th November
Run No #1832
Hares: Streaker
Venue: 5/3 Hunter St West Mackay
Hashers: 21

Normally at this point of the Run Report  I would tell everyone how many intrepid runner/walkers had turned up for the evening’s “run.”   But bugger that, because that would not be describing  the real picture.  As per usual the majority of hashers at the starting line were visitors, virgins, and the stalwarts of club Corgy & Daffodil and the north of the river hashers (bright, shiny, brilliant, dazzling). Streakier, to her credit fronted up as well, but that was only because she had no bloody idea what that barstard Hot rocks had done to the trail. The south of the river contingent (dark, gloomy, 50 shades of grey) decided to skulk, hide, laze in the bowls club until the real hashers had charged off into wild blue yonder .

“Wild blue yonder” what a bloody great under statement that turned out to be.  We should have been warned when Streaker  tried to rustle us to an early (on time) start, but she cleverly hid that by actually coming on the run as well.  It all started well enough with clever  false trails and meandering around streets never too far from hash booze, but then it all went to shit. The penny dropped when we set off along the Bruce Highway, some idiot thought it was Nebo Rd, and ran across Rocky’s Bunnings  Fuck cried all, including Streaker,  followed by many very inventive ways to change Hot rocks sexuality . As we trudged back to the far far distant hash booze, and in the girls case, toilet, some really fantastic and frightening cosmetic surgery was discussed for hotty.  I am sure that some of the body rearrangements discussed are not possible.

Run Time    1800  to  1945  ( 6.00   To  7.45 )   Foreverrr  no piss stop

The first 30min upon our return was religiously devoted to toilet, and rapid alcohol consumption to deaden muscle pain of legs and tongue and relieve over worked brain cells after inventing  radical new and painful medical procedures.  All in all this was rather a quiet period devoted to frequent outbursts  of   ” Fuck you Hotty “.

Finally the circle was called and with great anticipation we waited  for the wrath of the Monk to descend RAPIDLY upon Hotty .  First Streaker  as the venue hare and then Hotty for the trail hare bugger me dead ! a cold tun beer as a down down ?   no warm tun beer filtered through the kidneys ?  That’s all ?   Oh well we are a forgiving lot in hash. The circle continued with down downs  for,  Paul  virgin runner   Tug  returning runner  Kennel and MD  visiting runners   Kennel   piss poor jokes   Smegma  losing his bike   and others who I can’t remember because I was talking.  After more jokes and confusion, song sung, circle closed.

Nosh of burgers with salad  and a very nice mango chutney.  Thanks Streaker.  More talk and drinks. last drinks called and departure at 10.30 all in all great night.

On on      Nicka licka

Run Date: 23rd November
Run No #1831
Hares: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Street Beaconsfield
Hashers: 24

Flaps sent us of with a whole lot of mumbo jumbo !!!!!!!!!
about checks , on backs , marks on left , a piss stop which we never found!
think he was bullshitting !! He even came looking for some of us,  cause he thought we were
lost !! Lost in Beaconsfield he has got to be kidding, we had trusty old Golly with us to lead the
way, some bastards got inside information and just short cutted .
Hoty and Sweetmeat could have helped us out , but  they just ignored us,
and kept on walking and talking  !!!!!! The run seemed a total bulls up !!!!!

When the last of us got back we really needed that beer !
Finally after a bit of a post mortem, circle was called !!
the usual garble was exchanged,
Jokes came from the usual few !! (Oh dear I miss Pea Beau !!!! )

Charges were made The Monk gave himself one for his phone ringing in the circle,
Hoty for  FU###### up a charge ! Golly for going to schoolies , and not as a toolie! but a Poolie (Pensioner)
Delicious for leaving the beer  fridge open, and about 3 charges to Cumalott , some thing to do with
using the hash horn  for self gratification !!!!!  and FU####### it up , or was it that we didn’t
hear it cause she short cutted !!

Sweatmeat tried to hand over her well worn prize procession !!! something to do with being
use to something much larger, !! After a few attempts of Spin the bottle, and refused by Mango
and a definite NO from Corgi,   DT said she needed one !!

Nosh was great /   A  La sausage  and pork dish , with mash and sweet potato.
Followed by a beautiful Trifle !!

Circle was then closed after singing the Hash song , ON ON Till next week.
Where I will be setting a major marathon on the Bright Side !!!

Streaker