Run Date: 14^th September
Run No #1820
Hare: Nicka Licka
Venue: Seaview Park Bucasia Esplanade Bucasia
Hashers: 18

 

A smaller turn-up than usual, but 18 intrepid hashers made it to Beautiful Bucasia Beach.
A torrential downpour in the late afternoon had 2 remarkable results:
1. Blurry on his motorcycle discovered than rain is wet.
2. Knicker’s chalk trail was not waterproof, and merrily slid down the gutter.
Nevertheless, Knicker called us to attention and explained where the chalk marks used to be, and sent us on our way. We were almost immediately accosted by a very irate Plover protecting 3 tiny chicks, but on we marched into the gloomy backblocks of Bucasia. Amid lots of horn blowing and searching for washed away checks, the mob moved cautiously forward, but a wrong turn by Blurry, Snot and myself saw us off-trail and, remarkably, back at the beer a little earlier than expected.
A short time later the rest of the crew wandered in, and began slurping beer and talking rubbish, followed by Knicker’s chicken soup and more beer…… a fine combination.
Then, amazingly, the entire mob rose to their feet, turned towards yours truely The Monk, and fell into silence. A few minutes passed, I looked at Golly, Golly looked at me, and then said, very quietly, “Form a circle”. And bugger me, there they were, circle formed, ready to go!

So, a down down for the hare, served up in Tun Mid, which according to the can, is brewed in USA, canned in China, imported by some fool in Melb, and basically tastes like shit.
Blurry, when asked to explain his recent birthday, broke into the old Beatles classic “When I’m 64.” A down down was earned by that rendition. The GM Zorro charged Tamara with bringing too much class to Hash by drinking from a wine glass. The charged was quickly reversed, as Tamara has more class than Zorro’s ever likely to have. Knothead told 2 appalling jokes, both of which earned him a date with the aforementioned Tun Mid. Zorro also added some jokes, as did The Monk, having to remove Hotrock’s name and reverting to the original Paddy, since Hotty was apparently too hung over from the weekend to turn up.

Mango was awarded a Mackay Hash cap for 50 runs. And a tasty Tun to go with it.

The song was sung, and the circle closed.
Knicker Licker then produced a gastronomical delight…. let’s see….. there was chicken curry, fried rice, a tasty potato dish, and plenty of it….. unlike next week, when you’ll get a sausage on bread!

More talking of shit, and the troops started to move off, and by 8.30 it was all over red rover.

Well done Knicker, another fine night.

OnOn Pensioner.

 

 

Run Date: 7^th September
Run No #1819
Hare: Popeye
Venue: 7 Mezin Road Habana
Hashers: 18

 

Not the same level of excitement as last week , turning up at a crime scene, but different just the same.  Preparation for the run was a little different because this week we had to take a cut lunch and water bag  just to get there.  Needless to say this produced the usual reaction from the” dark side”  with only the intrepid Corgi and Daffodil  turning up AGAIN ” Well done you two! “

The TRUE hashers assembled at the spacious abode of Popeye to be greeted   by Cummalot salivating and having hot flushes over the very large testicular shape paw paws on his trees. It must have made quite an impression  because once the run started she was off like a flash, torch wavering frantically around checking out the rump steaks grazing peacefully in their fields.

The run was  a complete departure from previous Habana  runs  “no bloody heart break hill” well done that man.  Lots of brownie points for that.  For those who  were not very familiar with cane fields, well you are now. I think we saw every variety.  It was a stimulating run especially walking back along the bitumen raceway track to home.

We all made it, with Tamara doing a sterling  job escorting  Flaps safely home to some welcome soothing refreshments before the circle started.

Pensioner was back and eventually managed to get the circle formed away from the fire. The circle has recently developed into a delightfully evil event. THIS WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER. The hare was called up for three well  earned charges, the last by Tamara who pointed out that there was no sweeper  to ensure that almost virgin runners  like herself, were not left  abandoned in the banjo playing  hills of Habana.  Next was “fucked” followed by “hooker”  :-  is there a pattern here?,  then zorro and golly.

Now to explain the evil.  All down downs were in TUN  BEER universally condemned as tasting like shit.   Hehe  Good One  Hehe

Song sung , circle closed.

Nosh was served with a popular pumpkin soup followed by curry and not gluggy rice and was enjoyed by all .  A relaxing sit around the fire with more refreshments and jokes  all departed to their various showers and beds to finish off a good night.

Good run  Good food  Good night

on  on Nicka

Run Date: 31st August 2015
Run No #1818
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: John Breen Park
Hashers: 25 

 

Turning up at John Breen park found us all in amongst a police crime scene from a stabbing/bashing in the park the night before, with forensic inspectors doing their bit in and around the public toilets.

Anyway, we all headed off on the run, which was fairly good, with some muddy creek crossings to make the run more interesting, and a short piss stop at Tarboy’s place, before heading back to the park finish.

After suffering a few after- run beverages, it was decided to move the venue away for under the scruteny of Mr Plod, and we moved down the Goose Ponds to the spot near the bowlo, which worked out well, except for the lack of a loo.

The circle was called, with the lack of our elustrious monk in presence, but our monkee handled the job ok with help from Golly , and the hash tucker of American style hotdogs was enjoyed by all.

We were joined on the run by Scarey Eyeball, passing through on her way down south, and Dragonlady was offered a down-down for returning after her brief absence.

The meeting broke up and we are all looking forward to next weeks run out at Popeye’s place at Habana, see you all there,

Hooroo and On On from Viagra

 

 

Run Date: 24th August 2015
Run No #1817
Hare: Teflon
Venue:  37 Mango Ave Eimeo
Hashers: 24

 

I think about 25 hashers turned up for Teflons amble through the streets and hills of beautiful Eimeo. At least there were no trains this time!!!!!!! A few managed to stagger around the full course but most short cutted in one way or another. Tarzan & Golly lobbed in exactly 1 hour after departure to complete this fine run/walk.

The circle was duly called & down downs were given to Teflon[hare] & Teflon & Mc Fanny as birthday girls. Both very significant milestones in their hashing lives.{cheers]. Only a couple of lame charges were handed out in some strange American brew called Tun. Jokes were very scarce as Pensioner was the only one to step forward.

A Christening was also sanctioned by the Monk donned in full ceremonial robes. Monica was installed as Wonderbra somehow entangled in her German heritage & sounding some what like something else. Figure it out????????

 

 

 

 

Then the nosh was ready & so were the hordes. Not to be disappointed Teflon & Mcfanny dished up quite a feast of Indian delicacies, rice nibblies enough to excite the keenest hasher. More grog then an excellent strawberry sponge cake for the birthday girls was produced & ravenously demolished. In all a good night was had by all.

ON ON !!!!! Tarzan

                     

 

 

 

Run Date: 17th August 2015
Run No #1816
Hare: Prick
Venue:  BBQ area on Gooseponds back of the North Mackay Bowls Club
Hashers: 26

It was a clear afternoon as the bunch of finely tuned athletes gathered on the fore shores of the goose ponds. At approximately 6.10 Tounger arrived along with Corgi and Daffodil so it was time to get a start to this marathon of mud, sweat and beers. (1 out of 3 isn’t bad).

The much beloved hare mumbled something about chalk toilet paper and flour and as is always the case 98% could not give a shit “I just follow the bum of the one in front and daydream along” wondering how far I have to torture this clapped out body of mine before I get into the beer.

It a breathtaking pace off we went east then over the Glenpark bridge then up the hill past the Anglican church it was at this point the writer saw Cummalot disappearing over the rail overpass. Actually that was the last anyone saw of Cummalot for a considerable time she was lost in the long grass for a considerable time, I guess we will have to accept her word for this as no one can co-oberate this version of the facts, I never noticed any grass on the aforesaid alleged lost runner.

NOW, this is where the heresay comes in as many people who weren’t hashers found a hole in a fence and entered what may have been private property which it is alleged that a fine up to $3000 could be imposed. So in order to protect the innocent, a person who was not who hasn’t paid said “ a train” which for the purpose of this exercise will be called the 6.24 was observed. Other reports were tendered for us to consider that it was the 6.35 but as this is only hearsay one will never know. Trains apparently don’t slow down for corners; wind coming off trains is very strong. The pack can move very quickly when frightened. Never the less Hashers miraculously appeared in Norris Road. For those who didn’t follow the trail it went up heartbrake hill where an on home was encountered.

An alternative route was led by the incredible Flaps around the GoosePonds

TTTwo Ssstroke noticed a neighbour burning off so went home to close the house and returned not on the foot Falcon but in the Ford Falcon

Smega (returning Runner) led yet another pack in the direction of the North Mackay Bowling Club bar.

We all eventually gathered at the BBQ shelter to a sumptuous feast of Nibbles, Potatoes and Corned Beef on Very fresh buns.

The circle was called by the RA, Pensioner, Prick had an extended binge drinking session, Tounger learnt it’s not smart to stand behind a drinking Price. Then started the Birthday Down Downs

• Tounger for becoming a pensioner
• Glove Box for giving the big 50 a fright
• Tarzan, apparently we have no record of his age but he was mentioned in the dead sea scrolls and rumours are that he has a birth certificate on a parchment scroll

Snot for not dressing a new runner, Next week I will attend to this matter personally.

Jokes from Pensioner, Hotrocks, Golly and here is the one Viagra couldn’t remember

Chinese have just unveiled a new state of the art Zoo in Beijing. It covers many acres, has thousands of animals but only dogs, there is every breed of dog known to mankind……..Apparently it is a shitzoo.

We welcomed 2 new runners, Tamara who told us her life history and Michelle whose autobiography went on and on, way too much information. Interestingly tho when you first join hash you don’t have a live therefore any history…. Just watch what you do from now on cause we are watching and what happens beats you to the next run and you may become an alcoholic. We sang the song, closed the circle Tidied up, drank froze our tits off and then I got tired and went home to mummy.

On On
Snot

Run Date: 10th August 2015
Run No #1815
Hares: Oui Oui & Chamption
Venue:  60 Wattle Street  Andergrove.
Hashers: 26 + 1 visitor 

RUN REPORT.

Run:  5/10.

Trail marking :  3/10.

Fire:  2/10.

Company :  7/10.

Circle: 6/10.

Tucker: 9/10.

Fire: 1/10.

Hash Piss:  10/10.

Decorum: 5/10.

Sensitivity: 3/10.

Political Correctness:  1/10.

Jokes:  2/10.

Biggest Smile:  Cummalott:  10/10.

 

Next run:  Prick.  BBQ area on The Goosewalk near North Mackay Bowls Club.

ON ON .

 

Run Date: 3rd August 2015
Run No #1814
Hares: Radish & Paw Paw
Venue:  44 Jarrah Street Andergrove.
Hashers: 29

 

Run started at 6pm was a lovely evening, with a full moon. The trail was well marked in white chalk. Runners and walkers had a good marked trail, we went over the only hill in

Andergrove with a view of Eimeo and Bucasia. The run went for about an hour.

In the circle there were a few down downs: Mango: for phoning Pensioner in the circle last week. Flaps: going over the other side of the bridge a few weeks ago. Oui Oui: for wearing a hat in the circle. Knot Head: for his bad joke in the circle.

Our visitor tonight was Scarey eyeballs from Tasmania hash.

Pensioner told a great joke in the circle enjoyed by everyone.

Nosh: 2 savoury bread dips followed by Mash potatoes, vegetables, meat loaf and gravy with bread.

Great night enjoyed by everyone.

Champion.

 

Next weeks run: Oui Oui and Champion  60 Wattle Street Andergrove down the back.

Bring chairs and insect repellent.

 

Run Date: 27.07.2015
Run No: #1813
Hare: Flaps
Venue: 17 Jarrah Street, Beaconsfield
Hashers: 27

 

Hi Hashers

Run report for run 1813 at the house of flaps

We gathered at beautiful downtown Jarrah Street,the usual gaggle, standing around swapping fibs in nervous anticipation of 6pm, which came and went as usual without much ado.

We sauntered off up the hill(who would have guessed??)around the picturesque streets and houses of Andergrove,avoiding the odd car and dogshit. Some mistook paint on the road as marks and finished up going in the wrong(much shorter)direction to accidentally get back to the esky early.

Host Flaps,showed his prowess in the kitchen by putting in a very strong performance for nosh of the year. The monk convened the circle and after telling a couple of roughies asked if anyone had a joke, to be met with blank stares.LESSON1 re hashers; Willing HaHahashers get all the work.There were the usual downdowns for the usual people.

The lucky lucky Streaker won the 3 bottles of red raffled by Golly. Then we went home.

TGIF drinks- Taylors Hotel.

Next weeks run 1814: Radish, 44 Jarrah Street Beaconsfield (150 mtrs east of this one).

CYa There.

Radish

Run Date: 21.07.2015  #1812
Hares: Snot & Smegma
Venue: End of East Point Road, via the Harbour. Mouth of the river, north bank of the pioneer river – downpast the surf club.
Hashers: 13 brave souls

 

Hash at its best

Windy drizzle sand salt and dark of into the dunes, mangroves, mosquitos and crocodiles

Wet sand dry sand puddles I think I need a vegemite sandwich.

The trek to get to the run was

Arriving I was greeted by a dismal site of old farts rugged up in hoodies mumbling about location, weather expecting a miracle for the light to appear the breeze to slow and drizzle to abate.

Breast Stroke dropped me off I checked with Snot to see any extra light was required he said all under control so I kept my pants on.

Breast stroke disappeared in the Getz no 4 x 4 required.

The run set in pink + orange tape and some lime headed off into the abyss of east point heading west.

It was hard work with the sand not so wet, would have been nice if it had rained to harden the sand up.

Trailed was marked adequately for a traditional run, on home was found near the eastern end of the rock wall on Pioneer River, Knothead sniffed the breeze and pointed the direction to the esky that was all I needed.

Snot had lit the pile of hundred year old hard wood and some woof wood it turned into a nice warming inferno spraying sparks in all directions.

Little boys were in abundance quite surprised that the dark siders didn’t arrive then!

Did they wimped out on the weather? Trail to the run site?

Although Corgi And Daff braved it in the big Toyota.

Circle called we all huddled I around the fire and listened Down for the hare Birthday for Fucked, 2 x jokes that was it, a rough Mackay hash song and it was over.

Nosh yum yum bread rolls with roast and gravy, sort of missed the burnt sausages and there was no chilli sauce.

In all an excellent run based on the minimum HHH requirement of a run a Cold beer (and it was) and some grub should be more like it.

TGIF Drinks at Slade Point Bowls Club

Old farts that need to eat soft food lunch is at Mount Pleasant Tavern 12:29 sharp

On On

WHP

 

Run Date: 13.07.2015  #1811
Hares: Viagra
Venue: Viagra – Mulherin Park, Mulherin Drive, Mackay Harbour (Opposite the Marina)
Hashers: 19
18 + 1 (Blurry)  toughened hashers turned up to the run at Mulherrin Park on a cool winter’s evening, but Viagra was well prepared with a cast iron pot and plenty of wood to burn. The run headed off past the lighthouse fish and chip shop and followed the shoreline through the maze of bars (empty except for Delicious who was drawn magnetically towards the nearest one. Flaps keeping Tarzan company at the back to ensure no-one got lost, when the pack was on an on back, however that didn’t last long because they immediately turned round and headed back the way they had just come from (double on back).

 

Down past the Surf Club and as no-one appeared to be lost the backmarkers decided it was safe to return to the start and to the warmth of the fire, which was in full inferno by now.

Circle was held with down down for the hare and new runner Robyn was christened by the monk something about two dicks big pussies gloves and a box to put them in so the name of Glovebox was bon. (not lovebox or big c**t).  

 

Some pretty sick jokes by hottie and pensioner as per usual. Nosh was consumed hot potatoes mince burgers and beer. Golly selling raffle tickets in the wine, so don’t forget a little extra cash next week to purchase more, this will help fund the bus up at Cameron’s Pocket to the Calen hotel on the Friday night.

 

On On

Flaps