Date – 17/07/2023          
Run – 2230
Hare – Screw & Fork
Venue – Playground on Willetts Road, North Mackay
Hashers: 17 

Our Run Report c/- Zorro.

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor
is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, ‘how do you stay
in such great physical condition?’

I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m
in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and
down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’

“’Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be
more to it. How old was your Father when he died?’

‘Who said my Father’s dead?’

The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Father’s
still alive. How old is he?’

‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer. ‘In fact he golfed
with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk
and had a little vino and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian
and he’s a golfer, too.’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to
it than that. How about your Father’s Father?  How old was he when he
died?’

‘Who said my Nono’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old and your
grandfather’s still living!  Incredible, how old is he?’

‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went
golfing with you this morning too?’

‘No, Nono couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it.  ‘Getting married!!
Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?                        

              

Date – 10/07/2023
Run – #2229
Hare – Shocker
Venue – Sturt Crescent, Park Area at Settlers Rise
Hashers: 22

On a cold night up at the mountain that Shocker and Sweet Meat call home, 20 odd hashes arrived after the run, that started down on the flat, which was later agreed to be a shit hot run, Shocker had started the fire early, and the hash nosh was started, a pot of every veges and spices was bubbling away, then the sausages came out, every sort that you could buy at a butcher’s shop, and this, before the circle, finally the circle was called and the hare was given his down down, returning runner Dip Tits and of course Zorro, charges were handed out, then a remarkable achievement, Tonguer was handed his 1500 run shirt, well done old fella, song was sung and nosh was served, after sweets was served which was old gold chocolate, then I was called to head home, as I was tired.

Next week’s run: children’s park on Willets Road, so see yous there, ON ON.

Screw and Fork.

 

 

 

 

Date – 03/07/2023
Run – #2228
Hare – Snot
Venue – 19 Tern Street, Slade Point
Hashers: 22

Driving out through the flashing lights, sirens and giving way to the huge German Shepards crossing the road, we made our way out to Snots place at Slade Point. Beautiful beach spot just as the sun set. Hashers gathered around and Snot gave the instructions on the Run. “You need a torch”, Track set in orange tape, on the left and on the right. Look out for the headless doll, fishing Rod and a few other random items. By the time we headed off we needed the torches. Down a lot of back-alley ways and through the scrub. Was a great run around Sladie which we haven done in a while. Some of the tape had been relocated to the ground by the locals but we still made our way around the 4.75 km trail. On Home where, we stocked up a Smokey fire even though it was a good temperature. Peanut entree went well with the beer. Circle formed up and a flurry of charges for Snot and Zorro. Plenty of good jokes, a few announcements, song sung and circle closed. Snot cooked up a delicious Chicken Stew which got devoured by the hungry hashers. Dessert was Ice cream cones. Very nice! Great Run – See you next Monday  – Shocker 

Date – 26/06/2023
Run – #2227
Hare – Pensioner & Mango
Venue – John Breen Park, Malcomson Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 26 

 

An intrepid bunch of approximately zero supremely fit runners turned up however there was another crowd of worn out runners (aka walkers) 26 in all. These magnificent former athletes answered the call of On On.  They followed the setting sun and it was off down Malcomson Street and headed across the Maplethorpe Bridge into the heart of the Dark Side of town.

It was about this time that two of the prominent hashers who being fully aware of the crime wave became concerned about the safety of the hash piss.  They returned to find Flaps valiantly guarding the grog, ably assisted by the Hare.  After checking the contents of the esky it was found that 2 beers were in imminent danger, so were consumed with gusto before they become hot.  It was only a few more minutes and the hordes arrived to help with emptying the eskys.

The monk eventually called the circle to order and we were given a history lesson about what happened on this day eons ago. Somehow John Deere became involved but I missed the rest whilst getting another beer.  The hare got his Down Down for not getting the pack lost in the dark; apparently it was a shitty trail, no hills, no shiggy, no muggings and worst of all no piss stop. 

Jokes were told, Zorro got a down down, just because, apparently it’s the GMs job to set the mood for the evening.  Tarzan gave us another history listen something about Thursday Island.  Then there was a bit of debate on who will be choirmaster for a few weeks as, Tarzan, our current one is doing a bit of attention seeking in Townsville. Don’t think the position was filled or maybe it was when I was checking the state of the eskys.

Eventually the circle closed, but to be reconvened at 19 Tern Street, Slade Point next week

ON ON

Snot

Date – 19/06/2023
Run – #2226
Hare – Juice & Termite
Venue – Park area @ Dumbleton Weir

20 brave hashers braved the deepening cold to meet in the carpark beside the river along Maraju Yakapari Road at Dumbleton. Did I mention the cold? Well, that’s because tomorrow is The Winter Solstice.
Solstice comes from the Latin words sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still).
A solstice is when either of the earth’s poles reaches its maximum tilt away from the sun, and therefore produces the shortest day of the year. Which is Sunrise 6.37am, sunset 5.01pm Thursday 22 June. And that of course means that a 6PM start to the run is already in darkness. Round about 5.55PM we spotted a torch bobbing towards us, which turned out to be Juice, who merrily pointed us in a northerly direction, those without torches huddling close to those that had. At the first turn into Mallia Rd, Juice held back before happily yelling “On Back!” The mob then reversed direction and headed further into the gloom. That’s where I took a wrong directive and ended up back at the carpark, where I found Zorro, Half-a-Boat, TopKnot, Pisco and Wheelie waiting for the runner’s return. About an hour or so later Golly rolled in, informing us that the rest of the herd had already made it to Juice & Termite’s lavish abode, so off we went, left right left again to the house on the hill. Now, being freezing cold by this stage, we expected a roaring fire, and indeed found some massive old timber beams, just perfect for a bonfire, but unfortunately Termite insisted that they was part of the construction, and we weren’t allowed to burn ‘em.

Circle called, and the general consensus was the run went round and round up and down and no-one had any idea where they went as it was cold n dark. A few down downs were handed out, some jokes told, Bob Down welcomed back into the fold, and Wheelie helped Flaps tell a story in his own inimitable way.

Closed circle meant tuckertime… and Termite didn’t disappoint, with a vegan concoction for the vegans, and a meaty stew for the rest. Some sips and bullshite later, the timtams came out, and then the mob melted off into the night. Next week….. Jim Beam, err, sorry, John Breen Park, see ya there.

Pensioner.

Date: 12th June 2023  
Run No :  2225
Venue: BBQ Gooseponds.
Runners:  25.
Hare :  Prick.

Oh what a lovely night for a trot around the Goosies. 

• 22 runners and 3 walkers. 
• probably the best marked run of the year. No cost spared on chalk.
• those who got lost were referred to Specsavers.
• close to Goosies for the convenience of the GM.
• circle went forever with the usual frivolities.
• the best hash nosh of the year cooked by Prick.
• beautiful meat pies for most and veg curry for the vegans. 
• no peas due to an administrative oversight.
• salt for Piccolo.
• forgot the Tim Tams which are still in the fridge. Will eat next week. 
• On home to Mummy about 8.45. In bed for beauty sleep by 9. 

Next run :  Park at Dumbleton near the Dumbleton Weir. 

• Cheers. On On 
• Prick. 

 

              

                      

Run – #2224
Hare – Smut
Venue – 57 Bradman drive, Glenella
Hashers: 25

 25 runners arrived to:

A letter run.

Around the streets of North View.

No observable problems .

On home to a few beers and dips. 

Circle . Few down downs. 

Great tucker. 

Rain. Shelter in garage.

Tim tams.

More beer. 

Home to Mummy.

On On . Prick. 

 

 

Date – 29/05/2023
Run – #2223
Hare – Lassie
Venue – 8 Hague Street, East Mackay
Hashers: 25

Was a pretty full-on night offered by Lassie – can only be captured in dot-point form 

• 25 including hare in attendance
• Hare admitted getting lost while setting run – set the tone for the night
• Front runners Shocker, Dip-Tits, Corgie & Smut endured all Lassies checks & spotted the bulk of the well disguised marks to reach the piss-stop before taking a moonlit walk on the beach
• Golly miraculously stumbled upon the piss-stop while the hare was on site – both decided to pack up and piss-off home
• Blurry & sniffer (or is that snorter) dog found the piss-stop location, but no piss stop
• Whereabouts of Blurry, Matches and others were unknown, so the hare went off in search
• Hare got lost for the second time that day
• Tasty pre-nosh served
• Circle formed fashionably late – waiting for hare to get un-lost
• Hare was forced to drink multiple litres of the piss-stop flavoured beer following numerous run-setting related charges
• Hash Choir got confused
• Popcorn told a cracker
• Blurry, Pants & Popcorn took returning runner charges
• Shocker ratted on Tounger for dismantling his brand new car
• GM returned to usual under-achieving self after over-extending himself theprevious week
• Tasty nosh served around the fire pit
• All got tired and went home 

See you all next Monday night at 57 Bradman Drive, Glenella.

On On Smut

Date – 22/05/2023
Run -#2222
Hare – Distillery & Delicious
Venue – 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove
Hashers: 27

Runners cum out of the woodworks for the celebration of run 2222 which of course was turned into a tu tu  run with heaps of eager participants ready to twirl around the fantastic run set by Distillery twice. The watering of new cement had a group of front runners returning stating there were no marks. Distillery quickly turned them back around assuring them they were heading in the right direction for the piss stop. The right spot was found and a top brew was served to all before heading back into the dark park and across bushland with all heading on home 3 different directions.  As far as I know everyone found their way home and jumped into the esky and nibbles on offer. A quick committee meeting and the circle was formed. Something happened on this day but like always I only like to think ahead and don’t remember. The hare’s were charged and given a thumbs up. 

Distillery was charged for setting the run twice. 

Screw was charged for not wearing his glasses and driving.

Sorry I can’t remember the other charges but I remember singing the Delicious down down song.  

We had returning runners at least 3

There was a visitor and a virgin runner.

Please feel free to fill in the gaps it’s Friday afternoon and my mind is on the bowlo bus as I said always thinking ahead. 

There were some good jokes told and the GM had news about a national red dress and the next Aussie Nash Hash being in Freo.

Song was sung and a feast was served and devoured. Fire was roaring and enjoyed but all good things must end including the run report. 

ON ON Lassie                       

                      

Run Date: 15.05.2023
Run No: 2221
Hare: Tonguer
Venue: 12 Hill End Road, Glenella
Hashers: ?

Apologies for the late run report, it has been a very full-on last week and a half.
Run 2221 from Tonguer’s abode, unknown number of hashers who turned up
for last week’s run. Less obviously 9 of us who were representing Mackay H3 at
Nash Hash Australia in the NT.
I am sure the run was long and well-marked with some coloured spray can.
Mrs C was most likely very happy that you may even have left them a pizza or
two!
As for myself, Distillery, Zorro, Matches, Tarzan, Fork, Screw, Insex and Snot.
We all attended the Qld Lunch at the Hotel Darwin on Monday, with the
singing of the Queensland Hash song (Sung and whistled to “Always look on
the bright side of Life”- song attached) and the cracking of the lid on the 40
pounder of Bundaberg Rum donated as usual by Madame Curie (H). No-one
misses out, everyone must have at least once charge, because lunch isn’t done
until the bottle is empty.
A long lunch from 12 to 3 with plenty of laughter, good food, jokes charges etc
and of course alcohol. It was also an opportunity to hand over Pant’s Pussy on
her trek back to Mackay from WA to be reunited with her Mummy.

If that wasn’t enough hashing for a Monday, some of us die-hards attended the
50th Anniversary run for Darwin Hash House Harriers at The Dinah Beach
Cruising Yacht Club.
Run Date:15.05.2023 – Run No: 2635 – 5km Run or 4km Walk – Hashers: 100+

Drinks included: Great Northern Crisp, VB, Cider
Hash Nosh: Bangers, Mash and Vegetables
Hashy Birthday Charge: Matches for last Tuesday.
If you have never done a Nash Hash Australia, and the
was a definite winner, and so much fun!
The next Aussie Nash Hash has been awarded to Fremantle in WA on the
28-30th March 2025 at the Fremantle Prison.
This Monday’s Run 2222 is at 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove.
**** Don’t forget to wear your Tu Tu – Hope to see you all then! ****
On On
Delicious – Mackay H3 Hash Whip