Date: 06/01/2025
Run: 2309
Hares: Lassie & Tonto
Location: Botanical Gardens and then on to 5/8 Haig St, East Mackay
Hashers: 2?

PART A.

Somewhere between 20 and 30 runners took up this challenge set on the Darkside of town at the Botanical Gardens. We were thrilled that there were to be no hills.  At precisely 6pm Tonto called us to order stating the arrows were on the left side or right side or in fact anywhere on the trail. 2 runs were set on for the runners and one for walkers. The division was at the piss stop (best one this year).

Now off we go into the setting sun. Not long before we are going downhill (surprise surprise, what goes down must come up) and across a bridge. There was now fear in the ranks as the bridge back will be way off in the distance. But the thought of the grog stop and other fitness fanatics clad in lycra encountered along the way was encouraging.

After a k or two there was LASSIE with the holy fluid, here was the point the runners embarked on their journey to fuk knows where as I followed the walkers trail. Back along the path, marvelling at the variety of fauna and flora and aforementioned lycra goddesses.  Here we come to the other side of the downhill, steps up. 4 sets of them, now I didn’t count em but a returning hasher estimated the number at between 24 and 64. At the summit there was my car …… safe at last.

PART B.

Back at Haig Street we assembled in the carpark of Lassies unit and attacked the beer.  Circle called!  No 5-minute warning, right into it.

Our monk gave us a history lesson regarding Cummins diesel engines. Golly having worked on engines all his life feigned interest while the rest of us got more beers.  Hares charged even though it was without question the best run for the year.  A few charges – 2 hashers for a brief romance on the trail, another for having his music at hash. There was more but i was getting another drink and having a bit of a chat with Maple Syrup.  Down downs for returning runners

Nek minute the song was sung and we were into the nosh. The nosh was delivered in an

early session and a late session due the fact the microwave shit itself!  We sat around discussing the merits of our own importance until someone realized that going home was more interesting.

On On

Snot (aka Knothead's scribe)

 Next weeks Run 2310 will be at 10 The Barons Drive, Andergrove. Hare KNOTHEAD

Date: 30/12/2024
Run: 2308
Hares: Pensioner & Mango
Location: John Breen Park, North Mackay
Hashers: 15

It was the last run of 2024 which a group of hashers arrived at John Breen Park all eager to endure the run set by Pensioner and Mango.  All but one started the event with a few then going left and the rest continued right towards the piss stop  which wasn’t far away.  After a very nice drop and the discovery of a unknown College we continued left down around left again and another left and one more left, at last a right
and heading back towards the ON ON.

Back to the mozzies and bugs, crackers and dips and of course the drinks.
Circle was called with a thumbs up for run and piss stop Pensioner was charged with Mango taking no responsibility.  Charges were given for some unknown person (Heather) being mentioned.  Can’t remember other charges and one joke we don’t want to remember.   No birthdays or accomplishments so song was sung and yummy mince with potato bake was devoured. More drinks and gossip or shit was spoken until the insect repellent wore off and we took off.

ON ON Lassie

Next week car park near play ground at Botanical Gardens then ON ON back at
Unit 5/8 Hague Street, East Mackay

https://mackayhash.com/8369-2/

Date: 23/12/2024
Run: 2307
Hares: Smut
Location: 20 Royal Boulevard, Glenella
Hashers: 17
Hash Trash 2307

At the end of a smouldering day following 3 tons of rain a passle of hashers gathered at the home of The Monk, Smut. We sat around waiting for everyone to turn up, before realising 15 was all we’d get so close to Christmas…. When we were suddenly inundated with Adelaidians, well, 2 of em anyway, in the form of Gravel Rash and Badger.

Finally, the Monk herded us out to the front of the Royal abode (in Royal Boulevard, get it?) and mumbled something about chalk and other stuff. We was just about to waddle off, when the Crow Eaters took off running. WTF….. we don’t run, merely stroll. And stroll we did, all around the backblocks of Glenella. The mob seemed to get split into several different directions, but eventually everyone made it back home.

Beers and chat, and an in-depth review of how Adelaide Hash does stuff (twice a week!) and The Monk called the circle to order before plunging into yet another history lesson. Apparently something happened in 1853. The monk then accepted his down down for also being hare. Several other charges resulted in several other down downs, but I can’t recall them all…. Oh yeah, Mango got one for wearing new sandals. The Adelaidians got their just desserts for being visitors, followed by another for being frontrunning overachievers who actually ran! It was then revealed that Badger was part of the committee that cancelled Adelaide Nash Hash 3 times because of some little virus….. for that she received a down down for being an underachiever.  And justly so. Some more forgettable charges, followed by a complete lack of jokes, and the circle shut.

The Monk then proceeded to reveal the results of a morning in the kitchen and produced 3 (or was it 4) pots of pasta, fried rice, chicken, curry… all very yum yum, then, not to be outdone, Flaps dived into his truck and emerged with a dazzling variety of desserts.  More beers and general chitchat, and it was time to wander off home, some of us taking the opportunity to check out the local Christmas lights.

Next week it’s back to our old fav John Breen Park in North Mackay.

Pensch.

Also a photo of one of our kindy kids enjoying his lunch at his desk!

Date: 16/12/24
Run: 2306 – Christmas Run
Hares: Tarzan
Location: 4 Evans Avenue, North Mackay
Hashers: 23

Christmas arrived early for the midges of North Mackay when they were afforded the opportunity to feast upon 23 hapless hashers who had descended upon Tarzan & U-Turn’s backyard.

The sound of uncontrolled scratching was soon replaced by the pungent smell of toxic DEET.

Some weather-conscious hashers were looking nervously to the threatening skies in the west, but resident meteorologist, Golly, was adamant that the MH3 2024 Christmas celebrations would not be impacted by weather – turns out, Golly was right.  This was probably the most outstanding feature of the event – Golly getting something right for once.

After some spirited fellowship and depositing of Secret Santa gifts in some novel table-top ornamental sleighs supplied by Lassie, the Hare addressed the gathered throng with run instructions.

Tarzan mumbled something about rain, no marks, piss-stop and a Christmas tree. Despite the scant instructions, a cohort of hashers confidently set off in a southerly direction to pass over the Forgan Bridge.  Risking life and limb, dodging a continual barrage of e-scooters flying past at break-neck speed, runners arriving at Bluewater Quay were met by an enthusiastic Tarzan, brandishing a refreshing beverage.  Drinks were consumed, a group photo taken in front of the Christmas tree before the treacherous e-scooter dodging return was attempted.

The circle was called, followed by the usual nonscience. Returning runners Pants & JCF’s poor attendance record was recognised & Knicker Licker had his run tally upgraded from 500 runs to 600 runs following a clerical error.

With circle closed, hashers tucked into a Committee supplied (facilitated by principal providores Snot and Insex) selection of cold meat and salad before the GM regathered participants to each receive a heap of useless crap under the guise of Secret Santa.

With dessert (provided by Flaps) served and washed down with last drinks, participants wandered off home in a perplexing quandary, trying to decide what to do with their Secret Santa gift – do they bin it immediately or pass it off onto some unsuspecting relative.

See you next week at 20 Royal Boulevard, Glenella.

On on

Smut 

Date: 09/12/2024
Run: 2305
Hare: Zorro
Location: Mackay Fencing, Satellite Cres, Outer Harbour
Hashers: 23
Weather: Fine, Hot, Humid, Low breezes from the north

The scene was set, the pack eagerly awaited instructions from the hare. He did mention that not a lot of chalk was used in marking the course. What happens in a bitumen jungle with bugger all marks? Suffice to say that Lassie, his office bitch, was given a map just in case. Lassie is not known for leading the pack but, in this case, she did.

Most of the pack were lost so they went straight back to the piss truck, but 3 hashers were still on trail.  Luck wasn’t on their side, the main peloton was now imprisoned on the wrong side of a locked gate. A quick check reveals that one of our throng was experienced in lock picking, and soon the way was clear to return home.

Length of the trail was either 2k or 4k depending on which way you went. The run score was either a 5/10 or 7/10 it depended a lot on which way you went.

Matches provided nibbles and food for the hungry horde….nice too.

CIRCLE

Smut did his usual lesson in history which i missed whilst undertaking a short sleep. When I awoke the fine session was underway, Knothead made a return after a year or two’s absence while he tried to learn new jokes. Very little improvement was noticed though. Not so for Maple Syrup – she remembered a whole joke. A few more fines, jokes etc but alas I went to sleep again.  Circle closed , song sung then food consumed and beer drunk.

We all then toddled off home

On On

Scribe aka Tarzan

Date: 02/12/2024
Run: 2304
Hares: Golly and Raggedy Ann
Location: 4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point
Hashers: 17

Being the first run in Summer, coats etc were not required.

I was wondering how many would turn up as word on the street was that there could be a COVID super spreader amongst us. We knew that the GM, the Monkee, Daffodil and possibly Corgi had the dreaded disease. The Monk fled to Adelaide the choir master to Melbourne to avoid infection.

We’re not sure who the spreader is but there is one in our throng who greets everyone on arrival. Is it her?  No one knows, but she wasn’t going to have contact with hashers tonight ,.

There were about 17 healthy starters when the run was called. 14 eager runners left for points unknown. Three of the smarter ones got in my car with the hare and the piss stop beverage. 

The run headed east over the big sand hill and then south before encountering the said hill once again. From there Lassie noticed the red hash shirts off in the distance. Smelling green ginger wine, no more marks guiding her, straight to the PS. 

The pack followed and after their thirst was quenched (not the Rocky pair) it was on home.

Having no hierarchy fit it was left to our  burnt-out past GM to make an effort and a past Choir Master and Trail Disaster to perform the necessary functions.

The night went off without a hitch. Fines issued Down downs taken, jokes told. Unfortunately U-turn was absent so Maple Syrup tried her best to fuk up a joke or two in the Ewey spirit, not by forgetting the punch line but the whole joke.  Our song sung and circle closed

Golly served up his usual feast then Raggedy followed up with chocolate bars

ON ON to 70 SATELLITE CRES, OUTER HARBOUR for next week

  # Some of you may know Floppy from Rocky Hash. He sadly passed away on the 29th November. His celebration of life is happening on the 10th December at Rockhampton Crematorium. 

Date: 25/11/2024
Run: 2303
Hares: Juice and Termite
Location: Upper reaches of the salt water on the Old Pioneer River
Hashers: 23

The Mackay Hash House Harriers gathered for another adventurous run, this time led by Juice and Termite. The run started at the upper reaches of the salt water on the Old Pioneer River, promising a mix of scenic beauty and thrilling challenges.

The trail took us down to Dumbleton Weir, where we then backtracked along the overgrown bank. The path was treacherous, with fallen trees and thick underbrush. A few hashers had close encounters with the local wildlife, nearly tumbling into the jaws of a 10-foot crocodile lurking nearby.

We continued our journey, climbing out of the river under a massive fig tree. The canopy was so dense that we had to use our torches to navigate through the darkness. Under the tree, we discovered a local camp set up, adding an element of surprise to our adventure.

The trail then led us to the right, where Termite had set up the much-anticipated Hash Piss stop. After a refreshing break, we headed back home to start the circle.

In the circle, Shocker, our new GM, stepped in as Monk while Tounger performed his Monkee duties. Charges were handed out with enthusiasm:

• Picalo and Nikka Likkawere charged for being returning runners.
• Bob Downreceived a charge for meeting his yearly quota of runs in just two consecutive weeks.
• Zorrowas charged for missing the piss stop.

The circle was filled with laughter, thanks to the great jokes shared by Flaps, Pensioner, and Golly. The evening concluded with some delicious appetizers and a hearty stew prepared by Termite, followed by mouth-watering dessert crumbles with custard.

Another memorable run for the Mackay Hash House Harriers, filled with camaraderie, adventure, and plenty of laughs! On-on!

Date – 18/11/2024
Run -2302
Hare – Tonguer
Venue – 20 Hill End Rd, Glenella
Hashers: 23

There was a good roll up of people in Glenella probably because the whiff of pizza was in the air rather than the popularity of the Hare. 

After a mumbled set of instructions to follow, the crowd headed south down the back driveway. Unfortunately, Maple Syrup was so entertaining that I completely forgot that I had to write a run report. I can repeat word for word what we were chatting about but there is a huge memory gap as to where we walked. Termite tried to help me today but gave up when I questioned the fact that we had traversed a park.

I feel that the walk was a fair length because my feet didn’t ache and it was set in a dark, boring nondescript, typically suburban setting. One interesting note was that Prick and the Hare suddenly appeared at the front of the pack towards the end of the walk. 

The honourable secretary set her ‘watch dog’ to notify me of my run report responsibilities and when I asked him what had happened in the walk he lamented there had been no drink stop. Deviating from the norm, Appalling!! Outrageous!!

Back in Hill End Road Smut was befuddled and muddled as he did not have his

notes but we didn’t get home an hour earlier – the time was spent in extra jokes and charges. Flaps was called upon to tell a joke and he tried to put across that his joke was too subtle for mere mortals. I think the word is obtuse.

Alas, Tonguer’s culinary skills are legendarily limited but his good lady presented the horde with a creamy cob loaf and a dazzling array of pizzas – chicken, meat lovers, Mediterranean etc. This more than made up for the lacklustre walk however the Hare cooked the pizzas to perfection. (or was it Shocker) A crusty berry dessert was then devoured.

Next week’s true blue Hash run will start at 12 Barclays Rd, Dumbleton.

Date – 11/11/2024
Run -2301
Hare – Live Hare
Venue – AGPU, 35 Graves Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 20

20 recovering hashers backed it up again, at Zorro’s and Matches abode for the AGPU.

Off on trail to the nearest pub for an ale and back on home for more drinks, circle, nosh, awards ceremony, nominations for committee positions followed by sweets and more drinks.

Awards Presented:

Longest Run awarded to Juice and Termite for Run #2265

Shit Trail awarded to Snot for Run #2279

Best Nosh awarded to Flaps for Runs #2255, #2275, #2299

Best Run Report (Most Interesting) awarded to Pensioner for Run #2293

Your new committee members are:

• Grand Master: Shocker – ph 0457 879 707
• Monk: Smut – ph 0419 477 446
• Monkee: Tonguer
• On Sec: Insex, supported by Maple Syrup & Harbour
• Hash Cash: Pensioner ph 0428 417 181
• Hash Piss: Flaps ph 0421 853 176
• Trail Master: Snot ph 0418 185 661
• Haberdashery: Raggedy Ann ph 0488 511 512
• Hash Choir: Tarzan ph 0460 842 044
• Hash Horn: Daffodil

 Thank you to the outgoing committee and generous volunteering of your time and effort to keep our Mackay Hash House Harriers Club existing.

Please welcome our new committee members, by supporting their work and decisions for the health of our club.

On On,
Matches.

Date – 09/11/2024
Run -2300
Hare – Trial Master and GM
Venue – Rowallan Park
Hashers: 25

This was a good weekend for our Mackay Hash Club. Everything ran smoothly for our members and our visiting hashers from Cairns, Townsville, Moranbah, Sarina? Yeppoon and Gladstone.

Of course, November is hot, and so was our run. Kept short for good reason.

Our Monk, dressed in his costume called for the circle at 4pm, drinks for all past GM’s, charges, jokes and no-one sitting on ice?

Costumes for the evening, were good, but hard to find?? In all that camouflage.

Hash Nosh by Golden Roast, filled our bellies, along with the beer, ciders and wine. Live music by Mark Thomas for our entertainment, but no topless harriettes?

Thanks to our committee, and our Mackay Hash members, for this Celebration Run was a joint effort by all.

On On,

Matches.