Date – 26/02/2024
Run – 2263
Hare – Screw
Venue – Mackay Bowls Club
Hashers: 18

Let’s start by congratulating Zorro on approving a pub run, -it’s he forgot to send it to hash cash but all went well, we all bought draft beer for free.

I’d estimate that there were probably between 18-20 hashers there, as there was confusion on my part being that we visited HotRocks and Driptray for a piss stop. Also, we had a guest of honour, Baagoose, he appeared quite well although he reminded me of Joe Biden at times.

Circle opened by Smut who gave us his usual history lesson about bygone years, once again we were all enthralled by past events and look forward to next weeks thrilling episode of a bygone era.

Fines. Returning runners: Prick & Baagoose.

There were a few others but inconsequential in the scheme of things. We then partook in the culinary delights as served a few thousand runs prior. A bonus was the gluten free Tim Tams for the fussy tummies of a few of us.

There were a few jokes, and usual banter then I got tired and went home.

On On

Snot 

Jokes

**Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house, he found the grandmother deeply engrossed in her bible. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him.
“Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the bible so much?” He asked.
I’m not sure”, said his friend, “But I think she’s cramming for her finals”.

**Rushing up to a large airline’s counter, a man gasped, “Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to the left and said, “Sir, that would be the airline next to us.”

**“Nothing looks good to me anymore,” wailed a customer modelling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror. “Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it all.” “That’s the problem,” the woman replied “I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.”

**Restaurant Patron: “Waiter, I’d like a bottle of wine:
Waiter: “What year, sir?”
Patron: “Well, I’d like it right now”

 

                          

                      

 

Date – 19/02/2024
Run – 2262
Hare – Smut
Venue – 57 Bradman Drive, Glenella
Hashers: 19

19 eagers hashers turned up at Smut’s abode on a warm and cloudy night. The Hare called us out front to give directions adding there was a piss-stop. The pack headed off to find the promised piss-stop. Soon they came across a police siege and after having a captain cook they scurried along, following the trail to a piss-stop and then on home.

The bullshite muttering started amongst them until the Monk called the circle. There was the ‘usual’ history lesson, charges, some jokes and stories were told. No news from the GM or On Sec. The song was sung and the circle closed.

Nosh was served and very tasty it was – the usual Tim Tams for desserts. Some more piss was drunk and shite talked, until it was time to head home. Thanks for your hospitality Smut!

See you next week at the Mackay Bowls Club in the back car park on Nebo Road.

On-On Screw!

                      

 

Date – 12/02/2024
Run – 2261
Hare – Shocker
Venue – The Park, Sturt Crescent, Settlers Rise.
Hashers: 15

We were the second last to arrive at Sturt Crescent Park followed by Termite less Juice, who was away partying in Brisbane. The sun was still glaring down on us, so just past six we checked Tarzans watch and yes 69 degrees would have called time to go Tarzan recalled.

Shocker said he was doing live hare tonight due to the rain overnight. We missed seeing Landen on his scooter beside Shocker. Off we headed towards the entrance to go up and around to the first view point and then down and around and up to the highest view point which made the heart rate go up. The last hill was too much for some and they headed home instead of reaching the drink stop at the next park. The air clear, you could smell the fires in the back yards pushing out black smoke. At the drink stop Shocker produced a concoction of solo and plenty of gin he warned us. Just six of us completed the whole run, the SCB’s would taste the concoction for their down downs.

Back at Shockers we found Flaps, Nicker, Snot & Insex looking after the fire for tonight’s BBQ. Yes, sausages for a change with tomatoes, cheese, fried onions, sauces and bread.

I think Shocker likes popcorn. Nibbles of cheese, pickled onions, black & green olives, dried tomatoes and Jatz biscuits followed by popcorn filled us up before the circle. No Smut tonight, Shocker was doing it all. Golly helped out with the down downs. Charges were for the short cutters and Pensioner and Tonguer who didn’t turn up for Executive Lunch last week. Jokes/ Stories were told by Insex and Flaps. Circle over and song sung Shocker cooked the sausages and onions which went down a treat followed by Tim Tams. Stars still out, there was a light sprinkle of rain and then it stopped and we enjoyed the rest of the night.

On On

Corgi & Daffodil

Date – 05/02/2024
Run – 2260
Hare – Nicka Licka
Venue – 16 Dolby Court, North Mackay
Hashers: 22

A bunch of Hashers short cut through the back road into the mowed paddock which gave us plenty of parking at Knicka Licka’s place. A good number had gathered and with the recent rain Knicka set a Letter Run. Off we went, through the street and made our way to the Gooseponds and had a Hash Holt. Once everyone’s thirst was quenched at the piss stop, it was on Home for Beers and Nibbles. Knicka had some great home-made Salsa, that had plenty of kick to it. Circle was formed and plenty of charges. Flaps for hitting up old Grannies.  Tonguer, Golly and Pensioner for getting a car park straight away at the 12.29 Executive Lunch after Flaps had spent 15 minutes driving around and having to walk 1 km to the Hot Wok. Another charge for Pussy Fucker for arriving late and missing the run. Plenty of other chargers and Returning Runners, Smut and Termite.   Plenty of great jokes. Song sung and Circle closed. Hash nosh was a great Cottage Pie, Mint Salad and Tim Tams. Thanks Knicka for putting on a great run last minute. See you all next Monday.

Shocker.

                        

                      

Date – 29/01/2024
Run – 2259
Hare – Matches
Venue – 35 Graves Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 20

I have experimented with many ways of describing what the weather was like on Monday evening but have finally decided on ” it was bloody hot “.

20 not so enthusiastic Hashers shuffled out the back gate, following the pack on Matches back which contained the piss stop and the assurance that it was a short trail. When we reached the PS where the expectation of a large refreshments of cool liquid awaited to replace the sweat we had lost getting there, only to be greeted with shots of unwanted booze from another cupboard clean out from the Zorro/Matches abode.  The redeeming factor was that it was highly alcoholic so after one sip we no longer gave a shit and induced a fast pace back to the cold beverages awaiting in the back of Flaps’s truck.

Slurp slurp gargle sounds, until finally the conversation restarted with the main conversation being THE BLOODY WEATHER then it degenerated into the usual crap.

Then Shocker once again, vainly trying to gain his minute of fame, interrupted proceedings by calling for the circle and then trying grow his tenuous control by falsely accusing Nicka of falsely over-talking him, BLAH BLAH. Then he turned his attention to the hare, Pussy F, returning runner’s & others.  News about Bargoose, he is back from Bowen and is able to have visitors. 

A few more pearls of wisdom, which I have forgotten, then the Hash song and into the tucker. 

After the silence of tucker and a few more drinks, the exodus started and the evening was over.

After being rudely bullied, the run next week is at Nicka’s.    I WILL GET MY REVENGE   !!!!

Nicka 

On On 

           

Date – 22/01/2024
Run – 2258
Hare – Daffodil & Corgi
Venue – The Park, Parkedge Avenue, Richmond Hills
Hashers: 16

A group of happy hashers gathered at the park for the night’s run, lead by Daffodil through the surrounding streets, for a gander.

Back at base camp, with Jatz crackers and dips, to complement our coldies.

Circle called, a charge for returning runner/hasher Titanic, various charges and jokes etc etc.

Nosh served up, a hot pot of tender beef and veg, and another pot, full of rice, along with fresh bread.

Followed by Tim Tams and a big selection of yummy gummies.

Thanks to Corgi and Daffodil.

 

 

Date – 15/01/2024
Run -2257
Hare – Golly
Venue – 4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point.
Hashers: 20

A lovely cool breeze was felt at Golly & Raggedy’s when we arrived waiting for the following possible shower but no, a clear new moon night. Poor Raggedy had her right arm in a sling. Yep she cracked a bone in her shoulder after a fall. Golly ushered us all out the front to let us know a trail was set & that there was a piss stop. Off down and around to the Shoal Point Road to follow trail to the new estate which was now open to traffic on the new road. We passed a mum training her siblings in road running working up their endurance. The new estate had blocks viewing the ocean high & low. Only one house was being started. Lassie was getting a break, no on backs tonight. The trail led down to the foreshore where Golly was waiting with a tasty drink stop. Lassie moved us on for the mozzies were starting to like us. PF was waiting with Flaps, Delicious, and Raggedy when we arrived back. He was running late and wasn’t keen to find the trail and catch up.  Flaps had made some Vegetable & Jelly appetisers which everyone was curious about. Dips, Cheese, Biscuits & beer nuts were there for our choosing as well.

Smut being on holidays, Shocker our Monkee called 5 minutes to the circle. First was Golly to receive his just reward for setting the run and again for standing out at the piss stop with is fluro cap in the dark bushes. Maple Syrup had a sympathy sip for taking leave from Mackay HHH and going on an extended holiday and another for spillage. Delicious was charged for Tarzan just had to sing his favourite song and Zorro for completing the whole run which he delegated Nicker to take it for him. PF was charged for being late and not trying to find trail. Jokes were told by Flaps, Tonguer and Maple Syrup.  Executive Lunch was announced & next week’s run from Richmond Hills Park, so the circle was closed & our song sung.  Golly brought out the ham & salad to go with the fresh rolls and bread for hash nosh, followed by short bread for dessert. Shocker was lucky he had a pineapple, Mango and a Dragon Fruit to take home.

Past nine o’clock Delicious called time for she was the only worker amongst us.

Another enjoyable night and our thanks to Golly & Raggedy.

Corgi & Daffodil

Date – 08/01/2024          
Run – 2256
Hare – Pensioner
Venue – John Breen Park
Hashers: 24

Some 23+ 1 x Moranbah hasher turned up at John Breen Park for Pensioners &  Mango run set from his favourite spot, where he handed out notes on where to go. Off we set down towards the servo, bad move, there is a Bowls Club on the way. Zerro was seen heading over towards it, just checking to see if his card had not expired, took them quite a while to let him know. The rest of the pack kept on trail until we came across a piss stop serving half Goosepond’s and half Pest Control in cups. Was not too bad as some went up for seconds.

We all got back to find half the pack already on the grog. Monkey called the Circle, all the formalities were done, circled closed and food was served, not all of it was consumed, so Pensioner will not have to lean over a hot stove to cook Mango dinner for a while. Good run, food and company, see you Monday ON THE SAND OF THE NORTHERN BEACHES 

ON-ON  GOLLY

 

Date – 01/01/2024
Run – 2255
Hare – Flaps
Venue – Unit 202, Carlyle Gardens, Mt Pleasant.
Hashers: 13

A small but dedicated band of 13 hashers turned up at Carlisle Gardens Retirement Village, at unit 202, AKA Flaps’ joint, in the heart of Mount Pleasant, to celebrate the arrival of yet another year. In The Old Folks Home the years seem to pass much quicker than elsewhere, which explains the frequent visits of the QATB, to cart off yet another resident to secret locations (which explains the frequent non-return of said residents.) However, I digress.

At the appointed time, Flaps ushered us out to the street, and gave instructions for the run/walk. Nearby residents cowered behind thick drapes, not at all certain of what was happening.

“No marks!” declared Flaps, “except for corners, which are decorated with arrows to guide you along.

Now, having some inside info, being an Old Folks resident myself, I had a fair idea of where in the 40 acres we was headin. Around we went, with many residents along the way demanding to know what we was up to. Mostly they were amused. I pointed out which street Mango & I lived in, and soon enough the trail led right past our place, which was guarded by Mango’s very vicious pussy. Undeterred, Mango led a gaggle of hashers around our unit for a sticky-beak. Back on the trail for 3 houses, we found ourselves at a piss-stop outside old hashers Crystal and Tacho. From there it was on home.

Flaps produced salami and cheese, until the circle was called. Given the proximity of yet more residents, the Monk toned down his other-wise booming voice to give a history lesson on something.
Down downs for the hare for setting the trail from a mobility scooter (seems to be an abundance of those things here) And for Mango, for showing off her pussy. Then she copped another for something. Raggedy Ann was called forward for something. U-Turn as well for something. (memory fades in the Old Folks Home.) On to jokes. Flaps had a small story, but U-Turn shone with not one but three jokes, all of which she stuffed up, and forgot the punch-line for all 3 (down down duly delivered.) Circle closed with a very quiet rendition of the hash song, and then it was time for Restaurateur Flaps to produce the fruits of his all-day labours…. Rice with sweet n sour pork, beef masala and chicken something…(I may be right, may be wrong). Anyway, all was devoured with glee, and Flaps outdid himself with triple desserts for everyone.
More drinks until, bellies bulging, we set off home.
All said, it was a top run and a culinary delight, easily achieving best nosh so far this year.
Flaps can possibly expect a visit from The Old Folks Home Noise Police, and I wouldn’t dare risk it next week, so it’s back to John Breen Park.

See ya there

Pensioner.

Date – 25/12/2023
Run – 2254
Hare – Tonto
Venue – 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia
Hashers: 9

9 hashers gathered at Lassie and Tonto’s abode on a wet Monday, lucky for us the rain had passed and it was quite a pleasant evening. Matches, Zorro, Corgi, Daffodil, Lassie, Tonto, Nicka Licka, Flaps and Blo Jo waited patiently for instructions. Tonto issued them and it was then on on. The trail (?) meandered through the streets of Bucasia, the best part no hills sand or mud. There was a lack of marks as they had been washed away in the mornings deluge.

Everyone made it back safely. Nibbles were served, beers began to flow and the bs quickly started.

Zorro called the circle to order (ha ha) it was hash after all. It was a typical Zorro circle, everyone remained seated, I think he was called up for a down down but I am not sure as there was no song to be sung. Zorro asked if anyone had a joke but no-one was listening, only one charge, for Zorro who had trouble remembering the difference between Friday and Saturday.

Tonto began asking questions about the run, like what type of sailboat was on the run and something about the names of two dogs fucking, can’t remember the rest, Matches won by answering all the questions but couldn’t remember the names of the dogs. She received a prize of a chocolate bar. Then Nicka asked if anyone knew what house number where Zorro took a short cut, I think it was 69 but I could be wrong.

Zorro was feeling hungry and thirsty so ended the circle without the hash song.

Nosh came out, plenty of chicken, ham, potato salad and Lassie’s now famous coleslaw. Dessert came out, a fruit cake made by Lassie and custard made by Pauls, more beers consumed and it was then on home, a great night had by all.

Next week’s run will be at Flaps’s home in Carlyle Gardens Unit 202, please let me know if you will coming so we don’t frighten the neighbours.

Directions: come in the main entrance follow the road past the clubhouse and admin buildings over the bridge then first left and first right halfway down the street on the left.

On on flaps