Social Weekend 23 – 25th July 2021 
Golfers

Friday night with Keith Dunn – great night

Saturday’s frivolities 

The Gorgeous Golfers

Run Date: 19th July, 2021
Run No #2125
Hare: Top Knot & Wheelie 
Venue: Beachway Boulevard Park Shoal Point
Hashers: 18   

Another cool clear night but extra icy down near the water. As we were driving in we noticed a lady and children with fishing rods and Screw said she told him a barramundi was caught in the lake. Screw said it wouldn’t be good eating due it was limited with what feed it was getting. To our surprise Fill de Jaw was Wheelie’s escort on the run while Top Knot was organising the piss stop and food for the night. Pensioner commented to Fill that she needed to have another baby for she wasn’t carrying any extra weight. A new hair cut, trim and fit again. Fill waited for any late comers so we were off following the large arrows similar to his last trail. On in to Top Knot’s & Wheelie’s place for a drink stop of a cherry flavour which half a cup equalled two drinks Top Knot warned us. A water bowl and dog bite snacks for the small pack of dogs was on offer. We all headed back to the lake to put extra layers on before the circle was called. Vegetarian chips were a treat before Smut made us put our thinking caps on to remember on this day. Jokes and charges were called for. Blurry was asked by BloJo to charge Top Knot for writing the run report and saying it was Blurry’s Run and not hers. Lassie was quick to say she had to be here to charge a fellow Hasher. After some bantering on the subject both Blurry and Top Knot had down downs. Wheelie told his joke via Fill and maybe another joke was told.  Streaker tried to charge Top Knot for his alcoholic drink stop making it harder to resist more drinks before the drive home. Fork charged Teflon for talking in the circle. Fill de Jaw had a returning runner drink and Tarzan charged Delicious for sending the Hash Magazine out which was many pages long. Its a good read. Song sung, Top Knot & Golly brought out the Hash Nosh of home made pasta and Bolognese. The air got cooler but Golly & Tarzan didn’t put a coat on. Another great night out under the stars and half moon.

 On On

Corgi & Daffodil

Run Date: 12/07/21
Run No 2124
Hare: Blurry (should have read Blo Jo) 
Venue: Corner Peel & Alfred Streets, Mackay
Hashers: 27

A decent crowd of 27 hashers and a small pack of dogs gathered together at the home of Blurry and Blo Jo for a venture around the streets of Mackay. A run set with lines marked in the street “on the left side, if not on the right” directed by Blo Jo.

After venturing forth through the seemingly flattest run in history, a piss stop accompanied by popcorn was a treat missed by none. Some turned back, others enticed by the directions to “keep your cup” to be spoiled further with a tantalising concocture. Instructions clear enough one would think.. *cough cough* Bargoose.. Like spinach to popeye, the beverages to the hashers – was all that was needed to boost the energy for an on back to Blurry and Blo Jo’s.

NIbbles and drinks all round as Blurry began to fuel the fire.. just as Hard Drive was bent over adjusting his chair with his rear a little too close to the heavy aroma of petrol, Blurry thought a good flick of the lighter would be just the thing to light up his Hard Drive’s firewall.

A circle was called on and led by Flaps with a few good decent charges thrown about… Bargoose for his litterbug ways. Followed by Tarzan for keeping his jungle clean and healthy by picking up a stray cup found along the trail. Onya Tarboy! Some great stories and jokes told before Blo Jo awarded a good looking stick to the fire warden Corgi as Corgi had forgotten to bring her own for the fire, one would think the hospitality couldn’t have gotten any greater..

But then came along the food, silverside and coleslaw bread rolls with a detailed 101 of how to make a bread roll was given by Blurry. Not long after, the hashers were treated to cupcakes and custards to top things off!

With full bellies and bladders, hashers started to head home. A fantastic night had by all.

See you next week at the run at the park on Beachway Boulevard in Shoal Point!

On on

Topknot

Thanks

Awarded for the 3rd time, get your act together Prick!

Run Date 05/07/21
Run No 2123
Hare: Smut
Venue: 57 Bradman Drive, Glenella
Hashers: 17

Ah……17, I remember it well, just got my license and the world was my oyster.

Anyhow, that was the number of ageing Hash House Harriers gathered at Smuts abode to head into the bowels of Glenella for the Monday hash walk.

Off we set, after a briefing by the Hare, to discover parts of Glenella previously unknown. Smut’s trail marker worked a treat, and the trail was easy enough to follow if you had your mind on the job. I don’t know how Smut found it, or where it was, but there was a bloody steep hill involved in the trail that made us all aware of how unfit we had become over our ageing years.

By the end of the trail, the numbers had dwindled to 4 or so, with walkers taking their own way home towards the end of the trail.

Nibbles were provided to replenish our lost energy on arrival back to the esky, and the ritual of draining the esky commenced with gusto.

The circle was called by the Monk as we all huddled around the greatly appreciated fire. First up the Monk gave himself (the Hare) a down down to the song of Shitty Trail, then charges were called. Bloody Mango decided that it would be a good idea to give the five impeccably dressed hashers, who were standing together in their regulation Hash jackets……well, Pensioner disagreed with the validation of said charge, and tried to reverse it, but to no avail, and the five had a down down. Pensh also received another DD for wearing his hat in the circle. A drink was bestowed upon a returning and visiting runner and his mate from Victoria whose name I can’t remember (something like Rectum Wrecker??? or Swollen Colon), who then proceeded to find a winner for one of his highly sought after ironing board covers and peg bag.

Mango won the cover, and Bargoose won the peg bag.

After that, the Pizzas were presented on the table and we all pigged out until they were all consumed. It was then that the pack noticed the esky was starting to run dry, and slowly started drifting off home.

Minnie made sure Smut would remember the occasion by leaving a small nugget in the yard.

Hoo Roo till next week, and see you at Blurries abode for Blo Jo’s run. Bring a chair.

ON ON,

Blurrrrrrrry.

Run Date: 28.06.2021
Run No: 2122
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent, Rural View
Hashers: 16

Please find my rushed and poorly cobbled together offering below: Run Report Sixteen cold, tucked-up individuals were met with miserable and blustery conditions on the top of the Douglas Crescent hill. There was a surprise appearance from Knicker Licker who has recently undergone surgery for a bionic knee and was eager to illustrate his athleticism later by standing up in the circle – with those obvious powers of healing, is no surprise that he’s taken to death-defying stunts later in life – what a legend!! Pensioner gathered the highly expectant participants in the driveway of Pensioner’s & Mango’s palatial palace for pre-run directions. Some sneering murmurs suggested that marks were likely to be few and far between based on Pensioner’s previous efforts – turns out, they were right. Most were unaware of the great 2021 chalk drought. However, surprisingly, there was a false trail, and everyone fell for it (without exception), although Bargoose’s tardiness in arriving late turned out to be strategic master-stroke, and he went from a long way last to handsomely first upon the call of “on-back”. Some front runners made their own trail (or as it appeared) in the absence of any marks and the rest followed mindlessly. Turns out, they were on the money, with the discovery of one of the very few marks on the way home – so it all worked out well, as by the time the front runners had returned, the fire pit was blazing and Mango had lashings of simmering hot pastries to bring up the core temperature. Upon formation of the circle, following a brief trip down memory lane, Pensioners “economically” marked trail was raised with a level of bravado, and in true Pensioner style, shrugged his shoulders and told everyone to build a bridge. There were a few fines, mainly Pensioner, even fewer jokes – Reece was given a down-down as a returning runner and the circle was closed in the usual manner before tucking into a raft of culinary delights expertly prepared by Mango. The evening was finished off with a Tim Tam and a beer or cider chaser before the crowd dispersed to slip into their flannelette pyjamas.
On On Smut

Run Date 21/6/21    
Run No 2121
Hare: Golly and Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Crt, Shoal Point
Hashers: 21

21 peeps turned up at the beachside abode of Golly and Raggedy Ann to enjoy the Winter Solstice (actually a day early, but who cares?)

Golly ushered us out to the front, and tried to explain the marks were arrows on the right hand side of the road, whilst pointing to an arrow on the left. Off the tribe marched, and soon realized this trail consisted of multiple checks, which confused the mob somewhat. Eventually though, after a trip down to the beach and a pisstop in the dark, the mob began to dribble back to the start, where Raggedy produced some nibblies, including party quiches and sausage rolls. The fire was lit as the beers were tasted, and the banter about nuthin was dribbled, until The Monk bellowed out something about a circle.

Some modern day history was offered including the little known fact that John Lee Hooker died on this day

in 2001, aged 83. Who? I hear you ask? Look him up on YouTube, one of The Blues greats.

In the absence of any stories, Blurry decided to tell a joke.  Which left everyone puzzled. Flavio and Giovanni made another appearance, then it was time for some charges, most of which I forget, although Matches was awarded The Dildo, which seemed to amuse her.  Zorro’s brother received a down down for being Zorro’s brother, along with returning hasher, whose name escapes me.

Returning from Airlie Beach that morning, TopKnot picked up a hitch hiker, who TopKnot decided would make a good pet, so took him home. Then brought him to Hash. Said hitch hiker was a Frenchman named Francois. (of course), who was awarded a down down for being there. And no, he had absolutely no idea what was happening. (Sacre Bleu, you Aussies)

Circle over, it was time for nosh…. Pumpkin soup with bread, and savoury mince with more bread, settled the stomachs of the mob, along with more sips of favourite drinkies, until we all wandered off into the sunset….. sunset? No, it was very dark.

Another fine night was had by all.

See ya next week at the house on the hill. Did I say hill?

Pensioner.

Run Date 14/6/21    
Run No #2120
Hare: Screw
Venue: 80A Maple Dr., Andergrove
Hashers: 28

28 Hashers arrived at Screws and Forks place on a very hot and humid  winters night,
we were given instructions that the marks were in chalk , and on the right, very well marked, easy to follow, which led us to a Piss stop at Paw Paws, great brew, then on home, to cool down after a very sweaty 🥵 walk, After having a snack of little Frankfurt’s, Circle was called, Down Downs were given to the Hare, and 2 virgin runners, here for Zorros 60th, Hashy Birthday to streaker and Zorro, a few jokes, Circle closed, Hash Nosh served, yummy Pea and Ham soup, served with Garlic and cheese bread, Dessert was Rockyroad and chocolate biscuits, After a lot of chatter and drinks, we all headed  home, Thanks Fork and Screw for a great night,
On On
Raggedy Ann and Golly.
See you all at our Beach House,

Run Date: 7/6/21    
Run No #2119
Hare: Jenny Craig’s Fucked
Venue: Hamilton Street, Nth Mackay
Hashers: 27

27 keen Hashers arrived at JCF’s work abode, all ready to attack the awaiting trail. JCF gave us the usual bullshit spiel, then pointed to turn left and follow the chalk and flour marks,  (by the amount of marks, he must have stolen the 1 piece of chalk, probably some unsuspecting school kid.  There would not have been enough flour to make 1 scone).

The trail headed down to the BP Servo, then up the back along the edge of the mangroves, then down into the mangroves. A coupleof wise old Hashers Golly and Screw, who headed straight to the Piss Stop, then on home. The hash esky was attackex with great gusto.

The circle was called and the Monk dished out the just desserts: 1 The hare JCF; 2  Visiting hashers,Weak As, Horse & Metro, all leftovers from Cutlery’s weekend run; 3  Charges were called, some fool of a hasher tried to charge the Monk, which ended in dismall failure, then  Blo Jo triex to charge just about everybody there, which ended the same way

Jokes were told, a couple of good ones, can’t remember who told them. The circle was getting restless,  the song was sung, circle closed.

Hash nosh was served and very tasty, sketty bog, bread and tattees. When last drinks was callex, a mad stampede to the esky caused a jam.

By this time I’d had enough and toddled of home.

Hope to see you all next Monday 14^th at 80a Maple Drive, Andergrove. 

OnOn Screw

Run Date: 31^st May 2021     
Run No #2118
Hare: Lassie & Tonto
Venue:  Bucasia
Hashers: 23

We gathered at St Bees, the abode of Lassie and Tonto for run 2118 after a huge Saturday working hard to eat, drink and be merry on Saturday at the Progressive Dinner. The talk of the town was the food from Saturday and whilst many of us including the writer, are suffering +7’s blood sugar, many were still stunned at the quantity and quality of the food at both runs.

 
I for one can vouch the $35 and $15 cost of attendance respectively proved to be fantastic value. The people in attendance too were world class with the Saturday formal black and white affair proving a great success. Unfortunately, the standard of tardy dress prevailed at run 2118!

With more than 50 people attending the events combined, one could comment that MH3 members support the regular and special events run by the club. Good work and many thanks to those who worked tirelessly to feed everyone should also be said at both events. Well done peeps.

With all that said and I am certain you all agree, we move forward to next week’s run to be held at 3 O’Loughlan Street North Mackay, look for the timber fence on the corner and feel free to park inside!

Tonto should also be congratulated for providing two trails and a false piss stop at the Monday run, lesson learnt is don’t cross paths on a trail because as sure as shit MH3 short cutting bastards will find the on home in the shortest way.

The writer was supplied photos of the Progressive Dinner to publish but in the true spirit of laziness, he cant find the fuckers anywhere and as he is hastily writing reports prior to pissing off to Yeppoon for the weekend, his care factor is very obvious. So please feel free to imagine Distillery and Del wearing outrageous shit, Zorro wearing a suit and hat looking as his namesake, many others looking dapper in their best dressed and of course who will ever forget chef extraordinaire Flaps in his amazing suit fashioned off a black Harlem pimp! Pity his girls were all on annual leave otherwise… well….

Furthermore, Monday not to be left as a regular Monday saw some comedy festival quality jokes, professionally sung hash songs, bloody legends in attendance and masterchef supplied food. Has to be the by far the best 2118 run ever! Well done.

With that said I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and hope to see you over the weekend or if not Monday! JCF