Date – 14/11/2022
Run – 2195
Hare – Maple Syrup
Venue – 66 O’Brien Esplanade, Shoal Point
Hashers: 22

Shoal Point (again) for Run #2195!  22 Hashers showed up more or less on time for a slightly past 6 start.  Hare, Maple Syrup, had marked a varied course including pavement, dirt and beach (which required strips of her husband’s T-shirt to mark entry and exit points!).   U-turn left us all in her dust…

Cold drinks and ocean breezes were a good mix as everyone demolished garlic bread before circle was called.  Smut gave a serious history lesson about a little known but amazing woman of the 1800’s who smashed the 80 Days record set in Jules Verne’s ‘Around the World in…’.   What was her name again?

The trail got a thumbs-up, various charges were laid despite the protests of several of the ‘chargees’ and vain attempts at reversals, AND the jokes will surely go down in the annals of Mackay Hash for their level of filth and innuendo.  

Were there any birthdays?  Did Tonguer really know the venue for the executive lunch??  Is Zorro really organising the Christmas party???  Will Matches be on top of that????

All tucked into Maple Syrup’s meal, but sadly, she forgot the Tim Tams!  Lucky lasts to leave had to indulge.

See you all at the Lake in Shoal Point for Top Knot’s run 2196 next Monday.  (Would you like some Tim tams for your dessert, Top Knot?  Sorry to say Tarzan won’t be there with his Peruvian Hash shirt.  

On-on, Maple Syrup

 

Date – 07/11/2022
Run – 2194
Hare – Prick
Venue – The Goose Ponds, BBQ Area behind Bowls Club

A good handful of good-looking hashers arrived in all sorts of modes of transportations for the first run with the new committee, with the new GM and On-Sec, coming in by bike and scooter. Possibly anticipating his regular weekly down-downs, Zorro thought it was best not to drive. Although, some of the still-in-the-closet hashers were less focused on the bike and more fixated to the attire of the GM thinking that a man comfortable enough with his masculinity to be in floral shirts, means a definite trans/homosexual.

Being promised a piss stop, the hashers were given ambiguous directions from Prick who sure earned his title of being a Prick by sending the hashers to start on a false trail. Some hashers even began running to get the nightmare trail over with. As the hashers arrived to the end, they soon discovered it was actually a taking-the-piss stop, proving more to the point of the name once again, Prick.

Some decent pre-circle snacks were passed around and U-turn seized the moment to seize some dollars for the school raffle, giving the monk and new monkee some time to reminisce from their younger days and prepare their history trivia from over the last millennia.

Charges handed all round back and forth. Matches being charged for bravely riding in on a scooter with a nearly flat battery… I remember thinking, I had some AA’s in the car for emergencies, but I wasn’t sure if those flyers would have any hope at this point for these hashers. Flaps had done too good a job with getting the hashers well lubricated.

Tounger being one of the first to dish out jokes, not sure if I’ll repeat that one, but managed to get just about every female hasher to bend right over… Setting the bar nice and low is Tounger’s strategy, that way they bend over again each time they need a drink. Although you might have set the bar high already for next year’s dirty old man award!

Pies and peas served for hash nosh, a good safe bet for all hashers to enjoy, with the option of tomato sauce OR ketchup. Both even, if one felt like being creative. Plenty of good chats and banter all round. Great evening for the first run with the new committee.

On on

Topknot

Date – 31/10/22
Run – 2193 AGPU
Hare – Daffodil & Corgi
Venue – The Leap Hotel
Hashers – 24

Only 24 hashers turned for the AGPU,  many new committee members were elected to positions in absentia,( Hhha hhha hhha).

Matches was busy selling Melbourne Cup Sweep tickets, when at precisely 6pm, give or take 5 or 10mins, Daffodil called the mob to order, gave his last run directions as trailmaster. Half of the hashers set off, the rest stayed at pub and consumed beers and more beers, until all the runners and walkers returned, the free piss flowed.

Circle was called, no history lesson from Smut.

Daffodil and Corgi the hares had set a shitty trail, with too many hills and was too long as reported by Tonto.

A few charges, Daffodil for telling lies about needing a torch; Delicious, so Tarzan could sing her song one last time as GM; JCF for fucking up down down song; Over achievers, for putting in effort to dressing in halloween costumes. Special mention for Wheelie.

Some jokes were told, announcements re: Tuesday lunch venue, next weeks run etc.

A small break in proceedings for piss stop and refills.

AGPU  – Financial report Bank Balance – $5865; Float – $100. This year $1015 was banked from Cash for Cans. A huge thank you to Tarzan for collecting cans on Mondays and hash events, and any others who deposited their empties for Hash.

With the challenges of Covid in the last 2years, the committee organised 6 successful social events and 2 celebration runs. Thank you all for supporting these events and making them so enjoyable.

Awards – Runs

Most Runs set – Corgi & Daffodil

Wettest Run – Screw & Fork

Best nosh – TBA

Healtiest Piss Stop – Golly & Raggedy Ann

Moving House – Flaps, Mango & Pensioner to the old peoples place.

 Zorro

Other awards – Zorro – a new ticker

                              Matches – Potty mouth award

                              Half a boat – Killer Award

                              Smut – Information Award

                              Golly & Tarzan –  Volunteers award

                              JCF – Dirty Ol’ Man award

                             Bibby/ Leap Hotel – AGPU Host Award

Farewell to out going committee.  Thanks to them all for their efforts.

New Committee  elected:

GM – Zorro

Hash Cash – Pensioner

On Sec – Matches

Hash Piss – Flaps

Trail Master – Golly

Monk – Smut

Monkee – Screw

Choir Master – Tarzan

Hash Horn – Mango

Hash Haberdashery – Raggedy Ann

Good luck to the Committee for the cumming year, lets all get behind them and support them for another great year of hashing in Mackay. 

ON-ON

Fork

 

 

                          

 

                             

 

 

Run Date:17/10/22
Run No: 2191
Hare: Tounger
Venue: Hillend Rd, Glenella
Hashers: 26

 

26 hashers gathered at Toungers place for night of fun frivolity and
pizza.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t do the run, even though I am a superbly fit
athlete. I think it had to do with all that dancing I did on the away
run.
The consensus was that it was a great shitty run. Up hill and down dale
following Chalk and lime marks most everyone missed the piss stop, ( I
don’t think there was a real one), however Magpies Sporting club wasn’t
far away, not sure if anyone made it there.
Everyone made it back safely and gathered around the fire and the pizza
oven, Golly and Zorro were conspicuous I am not sure whether it was to
keep warm or be first in line for pizzas straight out of the oven.
The monk opened proceedings with his usual spiel on this day in history,
can’t remember what happened, but it must have been something (history
does that).
Down downs were given to Zoe (Wheelies) carer and Shocker, twice for him
and Sweet Meat. Raggedy Ann for not knowing what the lollies represented
on Prick’s outfit on Saturday night, she also received a second down
down but can’t remember what it was for. Flaps received one for his
rendition of Joh Travolta in Saturday night fever on the dance floor.
GM delicious thanked all those hashers who helped out on the weekend. It
was a great weekend and I am sure everyone had a great time. A reminder
about agpu on the 31st of October at the Leap Hotel.
If you are interest in a position on the new committee, put your hand up

The song was sung and then the pizzas began to flow. Wendy did a great
job on preparing the pizzas (as usual) A great effort by cook Tounger
and chief pizza slicer Shocker.
See you all at 17 Jarrah Street next Monday for the last time. If you
get in early you can check out the shed to see if there is anything you
want but don’t need, there is plenty of it.
On on flaps

 

Run Date: 15/10/22
Run No: 2190
Hare: JCF & Lite ‘N’ Easy
Venue: Cameron’s Pocket
Hashers: 48 

 

 

 

Hashers from as far north as Cooktown and south to Noosa and everywhere in between rolled into Cameron’s Pocket camp ground in anticipation of a PERFECT celebration for Mackay H3 P party celebration run.

Perfect weather, Perfect company, Perfect food, Perfectly chilled beers, what more can you ask for.

A Perfectly excellent weekend was had by all.

Thanks to all the visitors for travelling for the weekend, I trust that you all had a Perfectly good time.

Thanks to the Mackay Hashers that turned up, helped out and partied all weekend.

A final thank you to our Perfectly organised committee for a great weekend.

ON-ON Fork

 

Run Date: 10/11/22
Run No: 2189
Hare: Delicious
Venue: 117 Tropical Ave, Andergrove
Hashers: 22

On behalf of Tonguer, who apparently can’t spell.

 

20 or 30 hashers turned up to enjoy the pissing rain….. well, that’s what we’ve come to expect from Delishio…. But bugga me, not a drop to be had.

Anyway, Delish forced us out to the front gate, and informed us she had procured the services of trailmaster Daff. Of course, he knew nothing about it, so, armed with a stick of chalk, declared a live hare run, and set off laying the trail whilst we tramped along in pursuit. Eventually we got sick of traipsing around Andergrove, and headed on home to the beer. There we listened to tales of caravanning from Snot n Insex, who appear to have returned, after running out of roads to explore in outback Oz.

The Monk called for silence, and entertained us with more bloody history, before distributing down downs to the hare and non-hare, another for Delish, some for  returning runners Snot n Insex, probably more for other hashers, but I wasn’t paying attention thinking Tonguer was writing this report, but no…..  he don’t write apparently!

There may have been some jokes, and there was some charges, and maybe some tall stories, but all has been lost in a blurrrrr.

Circle done with, we settled into some curried type nosh, which must have good, cause there weren’t none left over.

Tucker done, we sipped some more booze and nibbled some cake, and then went home in the pissing rain. Except it wasn’t raining.

OnOn to Tonguer’s pizza shop next week.

Pensch.

 

 

 

Run Date: 03.10.2022
Run No: 2188
Hare: Zorro
Venue: 35 Graves Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 23

Surprisingly, 23 hashers turned up for run #2188 hosted by Zorro –
Hare Matches. Obviously, nothing better to do on a Public Holiday!
Hash famous Oyster & Salmon dips with Jatz Crackers served up on
the runners & short cutting bastards return. Followed by a large pot
of hot spuds and butter.
Circle called, and history lesson over.
No S.H.I.T.T.Y. song for this trail, which the Hare was rather thrilled
about. I did hear Lassie fell over on the run, but I don’t think it was
remembered in the circle, except maybe by Lassie….
Charges for Zorro, just because we don’t want him to feel left out
each week. JCF returning runner, Streaker, Mango & Hooker for
yabbering in the circle. Maple Syrup & Piccolo for thinking it was
Sunday and making Knicker wait, while she cleaned the fish tank.
Delicious received her shirt for 500 runs, which Tarzan was going to
sing her special song for regardless.
Jokes – Blurry, Pensioner & Blurry.
Executive Lunch – Laffos Café, Canelands, River Entrance.
Last raffle for the year was a $70.00 Sorbello’s Restaurant Voucher
won by Fork (you can thank JCF for that). Amidst quite a bit of
protest that she wasn’t there, and it should be re-drawn!
Next week’s run at 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove.
Circle Closed, and Rissoles, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese, Beetroot and
bread was served up for everyone to tuck into. Very yummy indeed,
but sadly the tomatoes were nowhere to be seen. Matches found
them still in the fridge after the Tim Tams were devoured, maybe
next time?
Sorry Zorro & Prick, but it is what it is………

 

 

Run Date: 26^th Sept, 2022
Run No #2187
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: John Breen Park , Nth Mackay
Hashers: 27

Subject: new golf book

“This may help you improve your game

I kept this very quiet but I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I’m asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read. This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my 20+ years of golfing experience.
Highlights include:
Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 4) When to Give the Greenkeeper the Finger
Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 09:00
Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

The book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY –

A Diego Maradonna – a nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie – an impossible read

A Philip Schofield – thought it was straight, but it wasn’t.

A Cuban – needs one more revolution

An Elton John – a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler – two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat – ugly and in the sand

A Kate Moss – bit thin

A Gerry Adams – playing a Provisional

A Brazilian – Just shaved the hole.

A Rodney King – overclubbed

An O. J. Simpson – got away with it

 A Princess Grace – should have taken a driver

A Princess Di – shouldn’t have taken a driver.”

ON-ON Zorro 

 

 

Run Date: 19th September,2022
Run No #2186
Hare: Hooker
Venue:  5 Margaret Grace Place, Mt Pleasant
Hashers: 18

 

18 or so hashers wandered into The Home of the Hooker and stood around chewin the fat, until Daffodil yelled OnOn and pushed the gang towards the road. It was about then we realized Hare Hooker was not the hare at all, having conned poor old Daff. Hmmm, we thought. This ain’t gonna be a short Hooker type trot, rather a full blown gallop around the darkening back blocks of Glenella, or is that area Mt Pleasant? Dunno, but on and on we went, until finally splashing along an open drain, and miraculously finding ourselves a mere 2 streets from the start. Well done Daff!

Milling around sipping beers, we were tempted by a large pot of little boys and red sauce. Typical Hooker fare, I guess. Hooker ushered her new housemate into the spotlight, introducing Yoshi, a Japanese girl endeavouring to learn English. Poor bugga seemed completely lost trying to understand fast talking Hashers armed with beer.

The Monk called the circle, during which many down-downs were administered, none of which I can recall. Likewise, a few jokes were mumbled, which I can’t recall. More down downs, and general bullshit, none of which I remember. The GM made some announcements, but I don’t remember them. So, with almost the entire evening a blur, we sung the song, and returned to beer n bullshit.

Hooker then produced a big pot of curried snags along with rice and fresh bread. I remember that, very tasty it were!

More dribble, then everyone raced off home to watch The Queen’s Funeral. R.I.P. Lizzie.

Next week, we won’t be at The White House On The Hill. Mainly because we’ve sold the joint and don’t live there no more. What’s more, the old folks home we’ve moved to doesn’t appreciate loud swearing Hashers pissing on their gardens, so our run will be from John Breen Park.

See ya there.

Pensch

Run Date: 12^th September,2022
Run No #2185
Hare: Golly & Raggedy
Venue:  4 Trochus Court, Shoal Point
Hashers: 23   

All the road works looked like they were finished and it was a good run down to Shoal Point. Lassie and Fork were keen to get the run underway calling “are we” followed by the Hash Horn. All out the front Golly let us know the run was marked in chalk and lime and there was  a refuelling stop while Maneki and PF joined us. Keep to the left Golly said, so I thought we were going along the road in but it was up the road and around to the setting sun and the red lights first. The first climb had Hooker a little puffed so she slowed up for a moment and still did the distance to the drink stop. Lassie, Smut, Daffodil and Pensioner led the pack to the park and around to where Golly and Fork were waiting with fresh orange slices followed by Green Ginger Wine Fruit Mix. Apparently Wheelie eats the orange skin and all and so does Piccolo. On the way back I found a rubber pig toy and left it there for PF to find and take a selfie with in the middle of the road which he later got charged for. Golly lit his fire with a bit of kero which worked well. Blurry was late and missed the run because he thought it was Hookers Run and went there first. Party Pies. Sausage Roles, Cherios and hot potatoes were our entree and they soon disappeared. Raggedy saved some for Lassie and Fork who did a beer replenishment run to the bottle-o. Smut called the circle and we remembered the years gone by. Lassie remembered Bonanza, Zorro remembered the Monkeys and Delicious remembered  Pink Floyd. Golly & Raggedy were charged for their run. Golly took the down down for setting the run. Charges and jokes were told by Delicious, Blurry, Pensioner and Flaps. Fork was charged for not using the hand brake when parking outside the bottle-o and Lassie got charged for getting Fork lost on the way back. Zorro was charged for loosing his beer and cooler and Golly for steeling it. Top Knot was charged for not wearing a Hash T shirt. Hash Nosh was curried mince and curried sausages with fried rice and bread and butter. Our thanks to Raggedy for a very tasty and filling menu. Chocolates and Tim Tams were desert.  Great run, location and company.

Cheers Corgi.

Next Weeks Run is from Hooker’s place, 5 Margaret Grant Place, Mt Pleasant