Run Date: 10.05.2021
Run No: 2115
Hare: Prick
Venue: BBQ Area behind Goosies Bowls Club, North Mackay
Hashers: 20
HHHi Hashers

Everyone dribbled on in as if there was no tomorrow, then Prick called everyone to the
walkway with instructions that the run was 3.142 km precisely. Then waffled on about
some Pie, which I thought was what we were having for dinner, which also turned out to be
true! But on further investigation our very learned Prick was actually spouting on about the
following Pi……
“It is the circumference of any circle, divided by its diameter. Nobody knows its exact value,
because no matter how many digits you calculate it to, the number never ends. For most
practical uses, you can assume in decimal form, the value of Pi is approximately 3.142”.
You’re never too old to learn something new.
Corgi was of course back first, even after taking two false trails, but not all the false trails
apparently as Golly found out when his charge was reversed. Dips and crackers and a large
pot of potatoes, herbs and butter were consumed – without salt! The Hash Cash was
collected, while Flaps was taking main meal preferences for the Progressive Dinner. If you
wish to attend on Saturday the 29th May. Let us know and have your $35.00 paid by the
24.05.2021 – Theme “Black & White”. It should be a great afternoon/evening, we have 18
currently on the list as attending.

Smut then called the circle for a 5-minute start and promptly disappeared! Leaving our stand
in Monkee, wondering where the hell he went. Moving on regardless, the hare received his
down down. But it was no “S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail song for him, but filled with adventure, with
hardly any hills and not much shiggy, or was that the other way around Pensioner? Our Hash
Choir was digging some great songs out of his big black book, and he does not have a half bad
voice either – good work JCF.
Streaker & Teflon were charged by Zorro, for the very loud high-pitched barking from Donny
at his excitement to see Penny. Reminding everyone there are no dogs or poofs in Hash…..
Yeah right!!! Then we had Baagoose or Wheelie, not sure who was the instigator, crash
tackled Top Knot in the corner, which looked very much like an all-in rugby scrum to me.
Luckily no one appeared to be hurt, and I didn’t spot any claret, someone must have just got
tired of standing in the circle. Tonguer told a story, and then I heard Happy Mother’s Day,
followed by if Mum is not in the mood, we have to thank Dad, or some such rot.
Then our honourable Monk appeared from the darkness, fully robed for a naming. Lisa was
asked to kneel and after some deliberation about chook fucker already being taken, and then
moving on to her Japanese heritage, with further mention of maybe Kamikaze or Sushi as
possible names. We were presented with Maneki Pussy – derived from the Maneki Neko
Lucky Cat of Japan, and that Maneki means beckoning….. hhmmmm interesting!
Maneki Pussy then arose and did the rounds being welcomed officially to Mackay Hash House
Harriers.
Executive Lunch was decided at the Austral Hotel, next week’s run is from 117 Tropical
Avenue, Andergrove. Please bring extra cash as a new raffle will be starting with a $50.00
Dan Murphy Voucher up for grabs.
Smut then decided we needed to have a history lesson from 2015, bloody hell, I can
remember something about a VW Car, Johnny Depp and Boo & Pistol, a hole heap of politics
that meant nothing to me, and then the song was sung and the circle closed.
The aforementioned pies were then served up with home-made mushy peas, and a choice of
sauces, very nice. We then all sat around waffling rubbish to each other whilst partaking in
the Hash Esky until we all went home to bed.
On On
Delicious

Run Date: 3rd May 2021
Run No. #2114
Hare : Piccolo
Venue: 82 Grendon Street
Hashers: 19 

19 Hashers on a mild evening after the Townsville Run at the weekend. What could go wrong? As it turned out; nothing! We assembled at Piccolo’s abode around a smoking apology for a fire. This was soon fixed after the arrival of Firebug Corgi, who in 2 minutes fixed 2 hours of fire incompetence. The ensuing blaze threatened the neighbouring properties so we all headed for the street pretending that the fire was nothing to do with us. The late arrival of Topknot and Wheelie was met with a relieved sigh as it signalled the arrival of the hash piss. 

Envelopes were distributed to the group and we headed along the streets, levees and byways of North Mackay. Finally a turn back along Canberra Street then on home to Grendon Street again. Very hilly, very wet, very muddy. Not. 

Beers were served, nibbles and then the circle which was run by Smut. A few jokes, a few down downs and then a terrific Hash Nosh. Noodles with a couple of side dishes, baked brownies and dissertation from Bar Goose re the carbon footprint of Australians compared with Asia. A sobering moment for us all. A few more beers capped off the evening. A great evening.

ON ON. PRICK.

Run Date: 26^th April, 2021
Run No #2113
Hares: Corgie & Daffodil
Venue:  Quota Park, East Mackay
Hashers: 19      

Arriving at the park for the second time this year to find that the run was actually going to start from here this time, was a really good omen, even though the run had been set by clubs two remaining marathon  runners. As the start time approached the motley of crew 19 hashers slowly dribbled in with lots of chatter and very little enthusiasm. Finally while half the group were depositing  chairs and bags into the safe keeping of Delicious the rest of the sneaky group buggered off  leaving us to catch up.

The group was pretty much together (within half a K of each other) until the first check when the piss pots peeled off in the direction of the nearest booze. The trail needless to say went in the other direction and further away from the hash esky. Still heading in the wrong direction the main group, still trying to catch Corgie & Lassie, were thrown a lifeline by Daffodil who quietly said “if we turn right here we will cut off a loop and get ahead of the front runners.” I happened to be closest to the short cut and was almost trampled by the heard as it stampeded  in the new direction.  This brought the pack together after meandering  through a few more streets for the final lap home. But this wasn’t good enough for the two over achievers (C & L) who powered ahead to be the first back.

Back in the welcoming embrace of the hash esky and nibble nourishment the usual hash crap and gossip flowed freely until it was rudely interrupted by the stand in monk who wanted take control of  the situation and bring order to the gathering. FAT CHANCE. Fortunately he had no idea what occurred in 2113 or 2013 so we went straight onto fining the hares and very few others, although I seem to remember  Delicious downing a cider from a prominent position.  Joke of the night goes to Tounger who told one (from memory) about a bloke with badly worn out arm mussels .  The circle was ended with the usual bad rendition of the hash song .

A special mention of the hash nosh. The combination of noodles, sweet and sour vegies and fish fingers was brilliant, it went down very well. Thanks Corgie.

Well that all folks.   

OnOn

Piccolo 

Run Date: 18^th April,2021
Run No #2112
Hare: Hooker & JCF
Venue:  5 Margaret Grant Place
Hashers: 27   

Finding a park was a bit of a challenge but we we eventually found one. All in the nicely manicured back yard and one chook coop, JCF announced the run was an envelope run and mention was made to keep an eye out on the run to find out why this was called Hookers Victory Run and all would be revealed on our return? On our last envelope Daffodil remembered the Victory Run comment and Shocker said there was a few sold signs on the houses, maybe Hooker sold one of these houses?

All together we gathered to hear the readings of the run directions which took us to the Valeta Gardens estate. The dogs were barking and a few neighbours bailed us up to ask what we were up to, good to see neighbourhood watch is alive and well. All the streets done we headed back to Macca’s and Shocker asked if anyone had change for an icecream, Lassie did. We crossed over to Road Tech Marine and through the lane way to Rebel Sports store where a Security Guard Vehicle checked us out. Shocker was thirsty and led us home.

No Smut tonight so Flaps and JCF took charge of the circle after we quenched our thirst with that first beer with a variety of chips. Jokes were told by Shocker, Flaps and who else I can’t remember. Hares Hooker and JCF received their down downs for the run as well as Brian the Virgin Runner who was investigated by Hooker who received another down down for not getting all the correct information for Delicious who also took a sympathy sip. No wikapedia for 2012 but we were prepared with Can Do’s landslide win into Qld Government.  Executive lunch was decided and next weeks run at Quota Park was advised along with the Anzac Day run at Flaps. Song sung for our supper, Hooker and Teflon brought out Hash nosh of pulled beef, fresh rolls and coleslaw which was devoured quickly. Some looking for more because it was so tasty.  Everyone chattered until Lisa and Wheelie called last beers. Great run and a good night.

OnOn

Corgi and Daffodil 

Run Date: 12/4/21
Run No: 2111
Hare: Shocker
Venue: Park at Jardine St, Settlers Rise
No of Hashers  – 26

Those who know me well know I’m not know for my amazing memory, so forgive me if I miss out important stuff or people in the following report.

But here goes: 26 valiant runners met at a nice little park at the Northern end of Jardine Street, Settlers Rise to be greeted by hosts Sweetmeats, Shocker & our youngest Hash member Landon.

It became apparent there were a noisy lot of ‘non-walking/running Hashers’ partying out of sight, led by JCF,  Zorro and a group of Merry Men. There’s some that may label this lot as ‘lazy bastards’ with no intention of participating in ANY physical  activity? But hey its Hash – we take all kinds, and that what’s makes us ‘SPECIAL’!

Can’t tell you what the run or the markings were like, because after setting off (Landon, Sweetmeat & pram in tow). meandered through the park & along some roads yours truly, became a short-cutting bastard and headed back.

 All I can say is the run didn’t seem to rate well, as the Hare got the old ‘Shitty Trail’ rendition for his efforts.

Circle called, our knowledgeable Monk gave us our weekly trivia quiz; some smart arses exceled, while the rest of us looked vague, trying not to make eye contact.

There were a few attempts at stories(Tarzan & Lima experience)/jokes & lots of charges, of which I can only remember the following

–          New runner (sorry I missed the name but can tell you he’s a friend of Shockers)

–          Hard Drive for wearing new shoes – poor bugger & they really were so flashy. He seemed to enjoy drinking out of one of them

–          Wheelie &  Fork Hashy Birthdays – Thanks for sharing your yummy cake Wheelie

–          Half a Boat for losing his boat

That’s it. My memory’s failed me, sorry for those I’ve missed out.

The night was rounded off with delicious Spaghetti Bolognaise  

Hopefully see yawl at  my place next week

On On
Hooker

Run Date: 29/03/21
Run No: 2110
Hare: Pensioner &Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Cres, Rural View
No of Hashers  – 19

19 eager bunnies turned up at Harley Heaven better known as Mango and Pensioner’s abode. The weather was fine and typically Easter so we had our raincoats and umbrellas just in case it rained.

Pensch being the hare, called everybody to his attention as he handed out 10 envelopes to the eager bunnies. The rules of the run were explained and it soon became aware to us all that we needed an onboard compass and a masters degree in mathematics. Anyway, that said off we went on our Easter egg hunt with the instructions;

1: Head in a westerly direction, down the hill and into the park. Follow the concrete path to it’s end at Dawson Blvd.

A pleasant stroll and plenty of discussion was had however no Easter eggs!

Next we were told;

2. Turn to your left. And head north to Wallman’s Road.

Fuck that said the group after falling for this trap and false trail on back in past runs! The decision was made to open envelope 3.

3.   Now turn to your right and head East along Wallman’s Rd to the roundabout.

This put us one up on the sly hare as the entire herd of bunnies in search of more Easter chocolate, short cutted!

We made it to the next envelope where someone explained;

4.   You are now in Explorer’s Estate. Take the first exit and head North along Landsborough Dve, then left to the East along John Oxley Ave. Stop outside #60.

Something was fishy, still no fucking Easter eggs, but the surprise was to be sprung as the wise old, very old, hare would make us pay for short cutting.

5. After enjoying the view, continue to Caley Tce. Turn right and head South. Stop outside #7.

On the trail, we mentioned how good the economy in Mackay region must be with this new estate showing people can still purchase new houses. We opened the next directional envelope;

6. False Trail. Return to #60 John Oxley Dve.

Shit! And more shit, still no eggs.

Back we hopped until;

7. Another false Trail. Return to #7 Caley Tce.

 The general consensus was the Pensioner is a prick!

8. Look around. How’s Mackay’s economy doing?  Continue south along Caley Tce, at the end swing left to the west, then right to the south. Stop at the end.  

 We already discussed the economy Pensch on our dizzy last few minutes. We were counting down the envelopes now but still eagerly looking for those delicious chocolate eggs.

9. See the path heading south to the traffic lights? Head to the lights.

Nice stroll, could have been some fucking eggs! Maybe this would happen on the next leg!

10. You are now at Sologinkins Road, and, if you know your directions, you’ll know which way is On Home.

And yes we did! Not one bloody Easter egg! Kill the hare!

Back at Harley Heaven, we drank and drank as we drowned our sorrows for completing an eggless Easter hunt trail.

It was not long before a robed monk called the herd of bunnies together. Hmmm what was going on? Are we getting eggs?

All the usual circle entertainment was delivered and we laughed and laughed and laughed some more, but it was not long before the robe reason was revealed as the monk ceremoniously named Billy, Hard Drive was born!

More alcohol was consumed and hash nosh served. Yummy food Mango but no eggs?

Until next week have a fantastic week team MH3, on on!

JCF

 

Run Date: 29/03/21
Run No: 2109
Hare: Half a Boat
Venue: Palm St, Cremorne.
Number Hashers – 24

A sturdy group of 22 hashers (or was it 24?…..25?…..23?….. dunno) met at the overgrown site of an old old car yard, now mostly occupied by mossies and sandies. With vehicles parked strategically around the perimeter, it began to resemble a caryard once again, although with a distinct lack of customers.
Hare Half-a-Boat called us to order and sent the troops off over the bridge and into the depths of Mackay’s CBD, and around and around before arriving back where we started (I shortcutted in a little ahead of the throng.)
Some banter was bantered, and some dips dipped, until the Monkee issued a shrill call to order for the circle, whereupon the Monk launched his days of yesteryear quiz, keenly challenged by all present.  Hare Halfa was called forward for his reward. And then called forward 3 times more for a variety of offences. Newly named Dogstyle was charged with having zero hash attire, and some other charges were thrown about, which I fail to recall. Hooker told a joke that I told 2 weeks ago, Tonguer messed up his attempt at humour, Flaps regaled the ladies with a tale about his wrinkled penis, and I brought forward my old friends Flavio and Giovanni.
Some awards were handed out: Daffodil scored some shorts in recognition of 1600 runs. 1600! Let’s put that in perspective. With 52 runs in a year, deduct 3 for being away on holidays. Deduct 2 for occasional illness. Deduct a further 2 for the “couldn’t be bothered” factor, and that leaves 45 runs/year. Divide 1600 runs by 45, and we find Daff has been at it for 35.5 years, which takes us back to around 1984 or so. Obviously there’s been nothing on Monday night TV for many long years…..
JCF received a towel for 200 runs, and….. Piccolo received a towel for 200 runs. Now, if we slice Piccolo’s towel in half, and sew one half to JCF’s, they’ll both have the right sized towel!
Enough dribble…. The circle closed with the club song, raucously savaged by JCF and Streaker, and we got further into the beer. A magic pot of hot stuff appeared (Dunno what it was but it tasted just fine) and filled the hungry bellies of the crew, before slowly drifting off into the night.

See y’all next week at the little white house on the hill (did I say hill?) in Rural View

Pensch.

Run Date: 22/03/21
Run No: 2108
Hare: Streaker
Venue: Hunter St, West Mackay
Number Hashers – 30 give or take a 1 or 2

 

No report received.

 

Here are a few photos from the night,  we had torrential rain, a christening, an honorary position presentation, a birthday and a great night . Thanks Streaker.

 

     

 

 

Run Date: 15/03/21
Run No: 2107
Hare: Lassie
Venue: 8 Hague St, East Mackay

 

Up the driveway turn left follow the arrows, which were petite. There was SCB run announced – did anyone go on that? Flaps and Pensch followed their own trail.

Little did we know that we were in for a marathon, once on the Trail there was no going back. You were on it for the long haul. The piss stop was a welcome site. Mixture of ginger beer, stones ginger wine, couple of beers. Couple of Hashers 2 lazy bastards hopped in Lassies car for a ride back.

Lassie said its simple to get back. Turn left and go up to the end and turn right into Shakespeare, and that’s where it all went wrong for us 6 hashers. Snot and his harem wandered around East Mackay looking for the direction from the stars rather than navigating from Snot’s Google maps. All Piccolo was worried about on the run was missing out the nibbles. Shantelle (virgin runner) came to the rescue and guided us home arriving back at 7.30pm. Circle called immediately, didn’t have time to sit down so we sat in the circle – legs aching and ready for a drink.

Monk did his normal bullshit chatter. Hare was charged, she should have been shot instead! Bang Bang! For giving such incomplete directions. Biggest charge of the night was Nicka who went out to water the plants and feed the cat at Bucasia & Piccolo for going along for the ride.

Shantelle given a charge for Virgin Runner. Snot gave a charge to me for not listening to him and using Google Maps, but I pulled up the rest of the crew along with Snot and we all had a charge together.

Lassie brought out the feast for the army. Steakettes plenty of them along with sausages, pasta salads, onions hit the spot for a Monday night after a mammoth walk. But wait, there was more, ice-cream with wafers. I thought I was 10 yrs old again.

Picked our chairs up, said our goodbyes, until we meet again next Monday night at mine!

On On

Streaker (typed by my personal Sexretary Teflon)

 

Run Date: 08.03.21
Run No: 2106
Hare: Wheelie & Top Knot
Venue: Beachway Boulevard Park, Shoal Pt
Hashers: 28

28 hashers checked in for run 2106. Most were happy to hear it was only a short run with a possible piss stop. All were hoping wheelie had helped put together.  As promised which is very rare the run was a nice length with a piss stop to quench our thirst on the way.   We return home to the sunsetting over the water and a nice breeze to keep the bities at bay.  Circle was delayed as the hare had disappeared to grab the night’s dinner. 

Circle was started with what happened when until the hair returned.  Hare was charged followed by a joke from Pensioner guess who about.  Charges I remember were given to Delicious for being a absent GM, U Turn for getting lost when only having to drive across the road, U Turn again for gettinglost going to the toilet Saturday afternoon cause we wanted her to tell the tail again, Snot returned a cup to half a boat that didn’t belong to him thathad been returned to Snot but didn’t belong to him either, will the cup ever be returned to the right owner?  Insec is having a birthday on the 9th andwas charged given the choice for Tuesday executive lunch. Sorry can not remember other charges but they were all deserved.

Hashers all then dived into the evenings food of some delicious looking chicken dish with everyone wanting more only to be told there was no roo in the stew or chicken either, that’s right we had all turned vegetarian for the night and were very surprised with how yummy the no meat dishes were well done Top Knot. 

ON ON Lassie

PS please remember chairs for next week and the run is at 8 Hague St East Mackay but if you do go to Bucasia by mistake can you check the mail and feed the cat thanks.