Run Date: 01.03.21
Run No: 2105
Hare: Daffodil & Corgi
Venue: Col Story Park (Old Info Centre) City Gates Nebo Road Mackay
Hashers: 26

26 keen hashers turned up at the old Information Centre, all keen for the night’s  run/walk, beers and fun and frivolity.

Corgi and Daffodil were conerned about having enougn nosh to keep the worms at bay.

As those that were really keen headed of with Corgi around the botanical gardens, others sniffed out the pub and some stayed at the run site, while Daffodil performed some magic and ‘abracadabra, there was plenty of nosh.

As the runners/walkers straggled in desparate to get to the esky and payed up, the bullshit banter flew around. The monk called the circle: down downs were handed out toe the hares Corgi and Daffodil; virgin runner Rhys (wtf’s a Rhys); returning runners Insect & Snot. There were others but cant remember them.  Jokes and stories were shared,  business attended to and Hash Song sung, circle closed.

Nosh was served,  more piss drunk, and bullshit flowed freely. Then we all toddled of home. Thanks for a good night Corgi and Daffodil.

Run Date: 22.02.21
Run No: 2104
Hare: Teflon
Venue: 2 Geoffrey Thomas Dr, Bucasia
Hashers 25

Written on behalf of Hooker, who, after recent by-pass surgery, is too weak to push the keys on her keyboard!
25 hashers turned up at Teflon’s on the most humid night in Mackay’s history. So, of course we all shuffled into the sauna, commonly referred to as the outdoor entertainment area, an enclosed area bereft of breeze. With sweat beginning to bubble, we slowly formed up at the front gate (?) to be informed by Teflon that she was the live hare and we all should follow her. Which we did, around and around the wilds of Bucasia, only to end up back where we started.
Beer and cider flowing, we all compared sweat stains on our shirts, whilst nibbling on corn cobs and chips. Banter was being bantered, when the monk called the circle to order. After a history lesson on this day, the hare was called forward for a drink. Now, not knowing I would have to write this report, I carefully didn’t take note of proceedings. So…… a bloke told a joke, followed by another bloke who told a better joke, Hooker had a go as well, then new runner Fred (or was it Freddie) came forward to tell his life story and have a drink. A visiting runner from somewhere, named The Bat (or was it just Bat) ((or was that his name at all?)) was also called forward for a free sip, then Hooker tried to charge someone with something, only to have the charge reversed, and a down down to match thrown her way, After which, she was immediately called back for another drink, before laying a charge on Mango, who likewise had a drink, and then something else may or may not have happened, buggered if I know, I wasn’t listening….. So, onto the club song, after which, 2x time visitor Swollen Colon set up a quiz with ironing board covers as prizes. The men’s prize was won by…. Who cares, it’ll never be used, however the women’s prize was hotly contested by all the mad-keen ironers among them, Hooker coming out victorious. So, from next week, we should all hand over our sweaty hash shirts to Hooker, for washing and ironing, I’m sure she’ll oblige. Teflon then laid out a Mexican style feast (or was it Iranian, dunno, maybe Spanish?) which the sweaty ravenous hordes gobbled down with gusto. More beery banter, and the tribe began to wander off into the night.
Corgi and Daffodil are in charge of proceedings next week, if Daff’s back will allow him to stand up!
See ya at the old Tourist Info Centre City Gates. Pensch

Run Date: 15/02/21
Run No: 2103
Hare: Half a Boat 
Venue: 12 David Muir Street Crt, Slade Point 
Hashers: 21

21 turned up at Half a Boat’s Shed. 6.05pm and the pressure was on to start the run.

Out the gate and which way asks Half a Boat, we don’t bloody know! Now there were probably 3 ways but I can only account for 1 of these. Making it up to Slade Point Road and some dwindled down Slade Point Road, some dwindled across Slade Point Road (this was me) along with Wheelie and Top Knot, Streaker, Marilyn, Smut, Tarboy and whingeing Faye!

Let’s go up to the The Kommo Toera Trail – it’s a short walking track allowing you to meander under the towering Melaleuca trees to observe a distinctly unique wetland ecosystem. It was surreal, the colour of the ‘moss’ was gorgeous.

We came to the end of the trail and it was a ‘On Back’ MUCH to Hooker’s horror…you mean we have to walk ALL that way back again…. But we did find mention of a ‘Marsh Harrier’ on the information board – which Smut kindly pointed out. 

Back at the shed nibbles were put out to the starving hoards and lids popped off for a thirst-quenching drink, while Hash Cash reined the $$ in both for the Hash night & Raffle drawn next week.

Circle called Monk talked about interesting events in 2003 – like did anyone have a vasectomy?? And Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates during re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, killing all seven astronauts aboard. Who else can remember Smut’s Wikipedia info?

Few jokes, few charges, visiting runner Swollen Colon who drew the Harriette’s in for spin the bottle…what were we in for??? Surprise surprise, the winner Fork won an ironing board cover (for which Swollen Colon is a rep working in Canelands) then he drew the Hashers in for their go and Golly won the Darwin Stubby Cooler, which ended up on his head!  Swollen Colon still here next week so you might be lucky to have another go. See you never know what a Hash night is going to bring!

Out of Annie’s kitchen, Half a Boat brings out a spread, Seafood Pasta, Mince and Lentils, Cauliflower with sauce. Well done Half a Boat. Then onto the cake!

But wait there’s more. 15 Feb is International Angelman Day. Top Knot very kindly brought a cake along for Wheelie who suffers from this condition. Angelman syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the nervous system and causes severe physical and learning disabilities.

More chatter, before we packed up our bits said good night. Until we meet again next Monday night at Teflons. On On

Run Date: 08/02/21
Run No: 2102
Hare: Golly & Raggedy Ann
Venue: 4 Trochus Crt, Bucasia
Hashers: 24

On our way down to Shoal Point we were watching the clouds circling above and building. We thought we might get a storm later. We were running late but everyone was still out the front and Golly asked if we had seen Nicka on our way down as well. No Nicka or Piccolo tonight.

Golly let us know the run was marked in chalk and lime and there were ‘two drink stops’ to encourage us all.  Around the block and down the road we followed Lassie and Uturn setting the pace. We came to the beach where we interrupted a couple having an evening drink on the foreshore watching the sun setting. They didn’t think there would be this many people on a Monday walking their dogs – Corgie & Lassie! Raggedy explained the trees along the road would be cut down to make way for a new road to the new estate planned for the beach front.

A refreshing drink stop to quench our thirst we were off along the sand to the red light park for the remainder. We followed back through the basket’s ball park and retraced the marks back home.

No Top Knot tonight either. He wasn’t well but sent Wheelie and his other carer with the Hash Piss minus the ciders so we found out later. Golly came to the rescue picking up a new variety to sample on his way to collect the pizzas we were having for Hash Nosh. Not going without while we were waiting Golly was quick to bring out the marinated chicken wings and legs just after we all grabbed a seat. Streaker tried desperately to find the bones before Donny so he didn’t get one stuck in his neck. She’s a good mum. Smut called the circle and we remembered the years gone by in 2002? Golly & Raggedy were charged for their run. Pensioner & Delicious had a Birthday charge and jokes were told. Hooker was charged for asking where was park in a manual vehicle and I can’t remember more. Pizza’s were delivered by Golly and Teflon with lightning surrounding us. All satisfied we all started to meander home before the rain? Wheelie’s carer was packing up Wheelie’s new chair but it wouldn’t fold back down. Daffodil came to the rescue. What a sigh of relief. We all can relate to this problem. The chair was going in the car whether folded or not. Great run, location and company.

 On On Corgi

Run Date: 25/01/21
Run No: 2101
Hare: Prick
Venue: 5/1 Kenzey St, Nth Mackay
Hashers: 22

Well it all started at around 5.45 everyone started arriving at the Back off Pricks waiting for the big moment to strut there stuff around The streets. IN walked a old hash runner TERMITE said he was a mate of pricks.

But not sure I think Patient still had bandage on his foot.

Clock was ticking away but we could not leave yet Donny and Penny who have not seen each other for weeks had a lot off bum sniffing to catch up on.

We headed out into street for orders on run but it was noticed no HASH PISS. We are a drinking club Telstra came through will be late on way.

Off we set down road in towards old farts village where Pensioner & Mango are looking at one off the depurter Homes. Back up around  gooseponds Sam’s Road and home to Pricks Place.

Nibbles were all gobbled up Circle called usually gibber charges jokes 1.old runner TERMITE. Song closed.

It was noticed PENSIONER was running a Book on who would get the bone from the one bone chicken soup all lost. The old prick out Foxed us all

Had a big pot off Pastor & his Sause all waiting top tucker Prick. Drank exky dry talked more shit said good buys and all headed home to recover for GOLLY RAGGEDY ANN

Run SHOAL POINT

ON_ON.  

Run Date: 25/01/21
Run No: 2100
Hare: Daffodil
Venue:  Jaycee Park, Andergrove
Hashers: 28

Australia Day Club

28 virile and wanton hashers [ the lassies being virile and the boys wanton ] delivered themselves into the hands of the club hierarchy for a little Australia Day celebration. We started with the usual; a few beers, some bullshit, and then progressed to a well organised pre run sports sports festival. Thong throwing, boomerang throwing demonstrations and an egg and spoon race. The race was won by Prick’s team but they were deprived of their rightful reward on a technicality. 

Then followed a ramble around the back streets of Andergrove with about half of the hashers actually completing the run; probably the average for any given run!
Then it was On On back to Tropical Avenue; Smut led the circle with a recall of the events of 2000, a few charges, a few down downs and then a stirring rendition of Advance Australia Fair. A delightful up yours to those who wish to rewrite history. Nibbles, pies and mushie peas, lamingtons and another few beers capped off a great evening.

Cheers. Prick.

Run Date: 18th January, 2021
Run No #2099
Hare: Smut 
Venue: Iluka Park, Binnington Esplanade at the end of East Gordon Street, Town Beach
Hashers: 19   

The rain was holding off but we were almost on cyclone watch with Cyclone Kimi coming down the coast. Watching the time Smut called to listen up for where the run was going to to take us.

We had to look for a round lime mark so I found out. Off we went down Binnington Esplanade to Evans and on into Scanlan Street where Sixty Nine Degrees used to live. On back around Good Shepherd Lodge and into Rae Street, along Shakespeare and back home to find Zorro, Matches, Pensioner and Lassie back because they had found the on home marks early or were tempted by a Lassie drink stop. Top knot’s Red 4WD was no where to be seen but f tiny vehicle squeezed the big red esky in. Smut brought out the dips, cheese, peanuts and biscuits. The BBQ was fired  up and JCF was chief cook.  The mozzies were hungry too.  More spray applied and even that didn’t deter them. I tried a mosquito coil but that didn’t work either hence a lot of slapping was going on during the circle. A run report was called for and a Hash Cash stand in. Top Knot volunteered to take the cash. No monkee JCF helped out to give the Hare his just reward  and song for setting the run. No containers for change bag Raggedy volunteered her spare bag.  All substitutes organised we were on to Jokes and Charges. Tonguer and Pensioner were good for two or more and Zorro, Matches and Pensioner were charged for not taking up Lassies drink stop. Zorro didn’t think she had beer in her fridge he rebuffed. JCF had the sausages cooked so Smut brought out the condiments to go with the sausages. To our surprise a zucchini slice was entree and plenty of it. Smut was baking all weekend. A man of many talents. Prick came to the rescue with more tomato sause. Two varieties of chocolate biscuits and we were all full. A sprinkle of rain and then it stopped. Wheelie headed home early so all grabbed their last beers and chatted on. That’s all I can remember.

On On Corgi

Run Date: 11.01.21
Run No: 2098
Hare: Screw & Fork
Venue: 80A Maple Dr, Andergrove
Hashers: 17

Seventeen hardy individuals braved the inclement weather conditions and ventured out to soak up the hospitality offered by hares Fork and Screw.

Immediately prior to the commencement of the run, Fork slipped into trance, assumed the lotus position before channelling Tloloc, the Aztec God of rain and storms and sought a reprieve from the persistent drizzle – and it worked!!

Screw did a bit of a Trump impersonation and boldly stated that he had set a run using the traditional methods of flour and chalk, but was thwarted by the weather conditions – these claims were soon found to be baseless and unsubstantiated.

The bulk of the gathered throng enjoyed a dawdle around the streets, soaking up the architectural diversity afforded by the in-demand suburb of Andergrove.  

Upon return, Fork presented a range of gourmet cheeses and dips to tempt the highly cultured taste buds of the Hash elite – some were witnessed shoving three cheeses and four crackers into their mouths at once.

A lively bout of frivolous banter was broken by the calling of the circle. After a pretty slow and listless start, the GM’s upcoming car rally announcement prompted a spirited rebuttal by Raggedy Anne following Golly’s less than complimentary assessment of Raggedy’s navigational capabilities – Golly ultimately lost out and took a down-down for his out-dated sexist slur. 

The whole show went downhill from then on, and culminated with Knothead doing a Yahoo Serious impersonation as a prop for one of his jokes – he even made us laugh!!

To close the circle out, JCF led us into a rousing rendition of the Club Song with Pensioner providing complimentary harmonies in the background.

The Nigella Lawson of Maple Drive then presented appetizing fried chicken pieces complimented by green toss and potato salads, followed by a tasty sweet cholate treat.

The call from Hash Piss for last drinks triggered the fastest moves witnessed all evening, with mad dashes to the esky to secure a close-out beverage.

On On Smut

Run Date: 04.01.21
Run No: 2097
Hare: Tarzan
Venue: 4 Evans Ave North Mackay
Hashers: 21

With the threat of Qlds first slycoon, 21 hardy hashers turned up at Tarboys abode to attack whatever was thrown at them, with the booze bus there, tarboy instructed us the head down Evans ave, also saying there was a piss stop, the run/walk meandered through the backblocks of nth mky finally getting to the plss stop at john breen park, nice drop tasted like margaritas. From there it was on home, finally the monk decided to call the circle, tarboy was bringing in the hash nosh, so the monk gave in to the peer pressure to delay the circle til after nosh was devoured, what has mky hash become. After we had our fill, the circle was called, the hare got his just desserts, so stories and jokes were told but not believed, many beers were drank and it was noticed that the hash esky had sprung a leak, no, just that Topknot had taken the bung with him to Airlie beach, anyway, with the thought of no pudding, I decided to head home and have some of my own.

Dont forget next week is at our place, I will organize some rain.

ON ON Screw

Run Date: 28.12.2020
Run No: 2096
Hare: Pensioner & Mango
Venue: 12 Douglas Crescent, Rural view

A short run report for run 2096 at the mansion in Douglas cres Rural view owned by Pensch and Mango. A large crowd of 12 showed up for this spectacular event. Actually the run was good. Circle good because we didn’t have to stand or remove hats, caps visors etc. Only one or two jokes told c/o Baagoose. Very slack down down songs as no officials present NO club song by request of all present. Good nosh served up and there was plenty to go around. Then we all buggered of home. See ya next week.
The Tarboy