Date – 25/12/2023
Run – 2254
Hare – Tonto
Venue – 23 St Bees Avenue, Bucasia
Hashers: 9

9 hashers gathered at Lassie and Tonto’s abode on a wet Monday, lucky for us the rain had passed and it was quite a pleasant evening. Matches, Zorro, Corgi, Daffodil, Lassie, Tonto, Nicka Licka, Flaps and Blo Jo waited patiently for instructions. Tonto issued them and it was then on on. The trail (?) meandered through the streets of Bucasia, the best part no hills sand or mud. There was a lack of marks as they had been washed away in the mornings deluge.

Everyone made it back safely. Nibbles were served, beers began to flow and the bs quickly started.

Zorro called the circle to order (ha ha) it was hash after all. It was a typical Zorro circle, everyone remained seated, I think he was called up for a down down but I am not sure as there was no song to be sung. Zorro asked if anyone had a joke but no-one was listening, only one charge, for Zorro who had trouble remembering the difference between Friday and Saturday.

Tonto began asking questions about the run, like what type of sailboat was on the run and something about the names of two dogs fucking, can’t remember the rest, Matches won by answering all the questions but couldn’t remember the names of the dogs. She received a prize of a chocolate bar. Then Nicka asked if anyone knew what house number where Zorro took a short cut, I think it was 69 but I could be wrong.

Zorro was feeling hungry and thirsty so ended the circle without the hash song.

Nosh came out, plenty of chicken, ham, potato salad and Lassie’s now famous coleslaw. Dessert came out, a fruit cake made by Lassie and custard made by Pauls, more beers consumed and it was then on home, a great night had by all.

Next week’s run will be at Flaps’s home in Carlyle Gardens Unit 202, please let me know if you will coming so we don’t frighten the neighbours.

Directions: come in the main entrance follow the road past the clubhouse and admin buildings over the bridge then first left and first right halfway down the street on the left.

On on flaps

            

Date – 18/12/2023
Run – 2253
Hare – Tarzan
Venue – 4 Evans Avenue, North Mackay.
Hashers: 23

Hi Hashers,

A great bunch of runners turned up dressed for our hashy Christmas party with pressy in hand. The run started one way or the other. Those who parked down the street far enough new the right direction. At no extra cost runners were joined by potential new hashers if they could just sort out their personal issues. On over the bridge to a fantastic piss stop and an additional hash activity around the Christmas tree which involved singing. Back over the bridge to the ON ON.  Lots of yummy nibbles were devoured before the circle. Tarzan was charged for a great run and for something else as Flaps had to do hash choir twice. Zorro was charged and forwarded it onto Pants.

Corgi was charged, Pants and Rats Arse were charged for returning runners with the the RA becoming confused as to where he came from and the only other one I can remember is Tonguer being charged for changing from cumming with a Prick to an Arse.

Maple Syrup achieved her 50 runs hat well done. Sorry can’t remember any more. Dinner was served up and the fun of secret Santa was excitedly started with everyone one wondering what they would end up with and who would pick the dick and balls present. Took a while but Matches raced in as soon as her number was called and like they say you can’t always judge a book by its cover but Matches was still happy with her present and also very happy the real Santa got her phone request and sent her a Barbie. The GM was not so lucky getting back the wool and needles he bought himself (karma) happy knitting Zorro. With some extra presents of photos from the away run for Delicious and Distillery and Matches nice pictures guys. With all the presents sorted dessert was served up and eagerly devoured, definitely the right weather for ice cream.

With everyone full of cheer the group slowly started heading home.

Merry Christmas everyone

ON ON  Lassie

Date – 11/12/2023
Run – 2252
Hare – Delicious
Venue – 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove
Hashers: 22

Delicious not only served up some rain but also a cyclone in the making.          22 Hashers turned up for this one but only a few saw out the full distance. Tarzan only went about 500 metres when Raggedy’s umbrella almost took him out. That’s it for me as the rain began to tumble down he cried rushing home to the shelter of the DOSA. Circle called. U-Turn was charged for misappropriating hash funds after she failed to renew her well-worn shoes. A few others were called & some jokes told. Entree of hash potatoes followed by traditional sausages on bread with a variety of sauces. Dessert was to die for. Tim Tams with high quality port. An enjoyable night was had by all.

The TARBOY.

See you all next week with your best festive gear, a $15 secret prescient & a good appetite. Will have a Xmas tree & a fire hopefully. Don’t forget to let Matches know what you can contribute for the feast. U- Turn is doing plum pudding with custard & ice cream. See ya all

ON ON

 

                          

                      

Date – 04/12/2023
Run – 2251
Hare – Shocker
Venue – Run: Park Area, Sturt Cres, Settlers Rise.
Nosh: 4/23 Sunset Dr, Erakala
Hashers: 18.5

15 Hashers and young Landon on his scooter, headed off on the run just after 6pm, with Golly leading the way. Pussy Fucker arriving late, managed to find the way after running into Pensioner on his way back. 2 Hashers got lost driving to the Nosh Venue…….

Circle called and History lesson from the honourable Monk Smut: –

“Sati (or Suttee), an obsolete Hindu practice of widows burning themselves alive—willing or unwilling—on the funeral pyres of their husbands.” WTF……. Who the hell would want to be married in India.

Run was rated as “Shit Hot” by front runner Lassie, although it was hot, it did include hills, mud and a piss stop. Best run she had done in years (except for the green ants & stinky mud) claiming it was exactly what a hash run should be with lots of “Blood, Sweat & Tears” no wait, was that “Mud, Sweat & Beers!”

Tarzan concurred it was a good run and gave it the thumbs up.

Charges: –

Matches & Zorro – Leaving trail less than 20 metres from the piss stop.

Delicious – MIA at a run making Flaps wear himself out looking for her, presuming she had been eaten by a shark.

Tonguer – Suggesting that Flaps was not wearing a Hash Shirt.

(Give us a kiss and I will tell you a secret) – I don’t know why I wrote this down?

Prick – For breaking his directors chair with just a little fart.                        

Jokes & Stories: –

Flaps – Something about surgeons operating with only Shit & Brains to make the current PM of Australia.

Shocker told 2 Jokes, but they were very close to being Dad Jokes.

Golly – Big Boots = Big Carriage, end result given $200 to buy shoes that fit.

Maple Syrup – Her Mother farting in Church and hoping no-one heard. Her Father saying, she needed to buy new batteries for her hearing aid.

Flaps – A Nun in Vietnam hiding a man under her skirt from the draft. The Nun then asked if he could see the colour of his balls, as he was hiding as well.

Birthdays: – Corgi received chocolates for this Sunday the 10th December.

Pussy Fucker wanted to know where his chockies were from the 19th November, and who has his “Dirty Old Man Award”? Zorro said he would bring it along next week.

Reminder about the Christmas Run on the 18th December at Tarzan & U-Turn’s.

Don’t forget your $15.00 Secret Santa Present, not a cent over or under.

Next week’s run at 117 Tropical Avenue, Andergrove.

Christmas Day Run is Lassie on Monday 25.12.2023 & New Years Day Run is Flaps on Monday 01.01.2024. Please let them know if you will be attending.

Executive Lunch – Boomerang Hotel

Christmas in July at Halliday Bay Resort – 19-20th July 2024, a reminder to book your accommodation if you are attending this event, as it will be busy time of year.

No further rude remarks, song sung and circle close- ed.

Hash Nosh: –

Nibbles of Dips and Bickies are still in Shocker’s fridge.

Main – Spaghetti Bolognaise with heaps of pasta, cheese, and bread & butter.

Desert – Tim Tams as they were half price.

On On

Delicious                     

 

 

 

Date – 27 Nov 2023
Run – 2250
Hare – Tonguer
Venue – 12 Hill End Road, Glenella
Hashers: 21 

On a sticky afternoon 20 plus hashers gathered at Tounger’s Place for the nights run. There were promises of no hills and lots of mud at the Pre-Run briefing. The hashers headed off up the first hill, Tounger’s drive way. Zorro was out front at the trail was leading straight to Maggies’ Tavern. To his disappointment the trail did a U-turn moving towards the Underpass. The Trail was well marked and some more big hills and No Mud!! The Circle was called and Tounger got his “Hare Charge” with a Shit Hot vote. Other Chargers were, Lassie – then Tonto as well, as they are in training for their big overseas trip. Lassie had powered off down every false trail.  BobDown had a charge for returning runner, Shocker had a charge for having a sympathy sip every time someone else got charged. Corgi and Daffodil had a charge for standing up Hash last week for a better offer.  Plenty of cracking Jokes then the Song was sung and Circle ended. Hash Nosh was gourmet pizza smashed out of the hot pizza oven. Tounger had promised that the rain was going to stay away until 9pm, but arrived just as the Circle was being called.  Two flash desserts and a great night overall. On- On 

Shocker

 

 

Date – 20 Nov 2023
Run – 2249
Hare – Snot
Venue – Lamberts Beach Lookout
Hashers: 21

Best point about this run was the view. Voted shitty run by everyone, although there was a piss stop, at the same point as the start, the middle and the end of trail.

On On to 19 Tern Street, Slade Point for all the other formalities, and the new Monkee, Shocker handling his duties reasonably well, along with some of his jokes not worth remembering.

Lasagne for Nosh, in plentiful supply, and accompanied with garlic bread.

Very nice indeed, thanks Snot.

 On On

Matches.

REBUTTAL

The run was not really a piss poor run it was poorly described in this report and failed to mention.

1. Marks there were an over abundance
2. There was a pub stop easily found by the gm
3. A false trail that all got suckered into bar my friends with crook knees
4. Very short trail because BOM said it would rain
5. And because it was a tad hilly, extremely hilly if you took the false trail
6. 3 pissstops..please take note Mr Prick
7. Following the GMs’ direction a DOSA area was established to comply with OHS
8. Jelly shooters for deserts. Only the Hare and coHare got to share 
9. Arranged for the tide to be in for nude 🏊‍♂️ swims 🏊‍♂️
10. Needing a house sitter for a few weeks in december an January as you can see the piss poor was a bit harsh

On On 

SNOT

 

Date – 13/11/2023
Run – 2248
Hare – Golly
Venue – 35 Graves Street, North Mackay
Hashers: 28 

Hi Hashers,

Great turnout for our AGPU at Zorro’s abode. Good to see, keen hashers are about.

We have 2 fresh faces on our committee, with Mango retiring from her position, now we welcome Pisco as Hash Horn.

A new Monkee, we welcome, Shocker, who will join the committee also, while Screw can enjoy his hashing, with no duties to fulfil each Hashy evening. Thank you to Mango and Screw, for your contributions for the last 12 months.

Awards for 2022/2023:

Longest Run: Screw

Wettest Run: Tarzan

Losing Hashers on her run: Lassie

Best Piss Stop: Matches

Best Nosh: Half A Boat

Over Achieving: Flaps

Dirty Old man: Pussy Fucker

 

The Dildo of Destiny, and the Soft Cock, are still missing. If you have these or know who has, please return them to Mackay Hash.

On On 
Matches

Our run report as scribed by Snot is below:-

We all assembled at Zoroastrians residence in Graves street 

1. Approx 6.06pm everyone headed off for the Kooyong
2. 20 minutes later the Kooyong had its busiest days trading this year
3. At 7.00 the circle was  convenied
4. All the usual stuff except free piss and feed
5. There were jokes, lies, jokes down downs 
6. Now the interesting part all positions declared vacant 
7. Because the outgoing committee did a pisspoor job it was unanimous that the get it right in 2024.
   8.5. Welcome Shocker to the committee, See ya Screw 
8. Great food great bikkies
9. The Hash is required to meet again next week at Lamberts Beach Lookout for an exciting evening

On on

SNOT

 

Date – 06/11/2023
Run – 2247
Hare – Prick
Venue – BBQ Area on Gooseponds behind Goosies Sport & Recreation Club
Hashers: 19 with 2 dogs and 79 ducks…..

An overcast afternoon, with drizzle about, kept some hashers at home, and washed Prick’s chalk marks away. Prick is now a live hare, set off with us for a lap of the Gooseponds, while the Beer Beetles set off in the other direction.

With the hashy mob, back at the start, for all the regular Hash proceedings, the Beer Beetles had set off to Prick’s abode, soon realized where they should really be, back at the Gooseponds.

Screw, the stand in Monk carried out the duties for the evening. Hashy “Away Run” leftovers tonight for Nosh.

Blurry bids us farewell once again, enroute to SA. Safe travels Blurry.

Our $5.00 Melbourne Cup Sweeps winners are: 1^st Pensioner, 2^nd MD, 3^RD Catblew (donated winnings back to MH3), & Last Past the Post, Pants.

Our $2.00 Melbourne Cup Sweep winners are: 1^st Insex, 2^nd Distillery, 3^rd Lassie & Last Past the Post, Delicious.

AGPU next Monday, nominate someone or yourself for a committee position.

On On

Matches.

  

Date – 04/11/2023
Run – 2246
Hare – Golly and Zorro
Venue – Rowallan Park, Glendaragh Road.
Hashers: 30

A good mix of Hashers for this event at our Away Run, hashers travelled from Townsville, Airlie Beach, (Mackay), Yeppoon, and Gladstone, with Moaning Lisa (Yeppoon Hash) in SA, drove to 2 days to arrive at Rowallan Park in time for the Pre Lube, at Magpies Sporting Club. Most of the bunch, jumped in the courtesy bus from Magpies, which allowed us to enjoy the coldies at the pub with a meal. Sadly 3 hashers were left behind on our departure around 9pm. With no bus due to leave again til 10pm, Matches, AKA Uber service, collected our last hashers.

Saturday Sign On, with Melbourne Cup Sweeps and treats, ran smoothly enough. Visiting Hashers given extra gifts, for their support of MH3.  Lunch provided a choice of chicken or ham, salad, lovely fresh rolls and fruit, along with coldies.

Our Run set off, with 2 routes. One Short Trail, and the “other” Trail, which proved to be not too long, although a few hills and some more. A Piss Stop, where both trails came together, for the group photo and on home.

Nibblies for our efforts, and more coldies and finally the Circle was called.

Catblew wanders up and sits on the ice, without charge.
Why would this hasher be a willing ice sitter? Maybe numbing the bum for the Flaming Arse dance, later in the night, which, I now know, only certain types of loo paper burns, so Lassie informs me.

An Award, with 700 runs for Tarzan, given an embroidered shirt, reflecting the achievement, was presented in the Circle.

Our imaginations and willingness to dress up for a Hash Event, is always fun.

Some great photos, are on our FB page, with some more with this report.

Nosh was catered by Golden Roast, and proved to be an excellent choice.

Music from guitarist and singer Mark Thomas, another winner there.

Prizes for Best Dressed Female – Oral C from TVH3, and Best Dressed Male – Distillery MH3, judged by our caterer, so no bias in the decisions given.

Dancing, informal entertainment from Hashers and Harriets and Nude Runs with Port and Tim Tams, gave the night some great laughs, fun times, and memories for all.

For Sunday morning breakfast, the hashers were served a choice of Eggs Benedict, Savoury Mince or Sausages in gravy, all cooked and presented by fellow MH3 hasher, Flaps. Now the Mackay hashers were in the know about this, and most of us were early for breakfast. And maybe the visiting hashers had some trouble, trying to raise their heads, on Sunday morning.

Thank you for all that attended, and made our Away Run quite successful. Our committee’s contribution of time, help and unpaid work, provided a well-organized event, which ran on time, and quite pleased with the end result, except for Mango, now in therapy, due to the loss of 2 Hash Horns and one very sentimental hat.

On On,
Matches.                      

                   

Date – 30/11/2023
Run – 2245 
Hare – Maneki Pussy & Pussy Fucker
Venue – 44 Mango Avenue, Eimeo
Hashers: 26

Good turn up of HaSHeRs, at the Northern Beaches.  Off on trail, with huge arrows to show the way.

Tasty piss stop, which ensures a shit hot run report in the circle, thank you PF. On home to a selection of snacks from Nippon Air. A circle with history lesson, of the origins of a Ball Point pen that didn’t work on paper? WTF?

The Harriets night for awards, Corgi with an impressive 1600 runs, along with Mango with 300 runs.

Chicken hot pot and rice for Nosh, thankyou muchly Maneki Pussy and the hungry hashers left nothing, of the two pots of chicken, true to form.

On On to Rowallan Park this weekend, for our chapter of Mackay.

On On … to Bris Vegas for Maneki Pussy. Goodluck, & thank you for a good evening.

Matches.